AF 19 March

[learningtolovewinter]

good morning all-
porquoi: i paint pictures in my studio. i feel really lucky to finally have a space just for art.

confession: i fell off the wagon last night. i am trying to find the bright side of this? i hope you are not going to throw me off this thread and tell me to go elsewhere?
there was no 'trigger' by the way i was just off guard because I HAVE no plan in place as of yet.
you are all right when you say you need a plan.
i need a plan. mijn hubby wanted to go out to dinner. he ordered wine, so i did too. he drank two glasses. i drank three. we came home and he didn't have anything else. i had another glass of wine. completely unnecessary.

i am not giving up. in the past i would have said 'oh forget it, back to day 1.' then i get all discouraged and basically everyday i don't drink IS an accomplishment and going in the right direction. so, as i've read others post, i am gonna pick myself up, dust myself off, and move forward. i am starting day 8 again. i cannot face going back to day one= too discouraging.

i will think about a plan for dinners out today.
i didn't check in here much either yesterday, which i need to. i must not get overconfident. i was actually thinking yesterday 'well, this isn't nearly as hard as in the past.'
wrong.
i thought about not mentioning it and moving forward, but i need to be honest with myself and putting this in righting is a good way of doing it.

[learningtolovewinter]

AF 19 March

okay, so I've found the bright side: I am not missing anything by not drinking.
it is just a big waste of time.
good to realize this and when the next time comes, which is will, i will read this post.

[kuya]

AF 19 March

MAE Abbers,

Well Winter, sorry to hear you drank. Have you not told hubby you have quit? It's very hard with no accountability. Also the only reason not to tell an SO is to allow a get out clause. Leave the door ajar and you will drink.

Alcohol is the easiest drug to quit, the hardest to stay quit, apparently.

Have had a very disjointed day starting with us oversleeping and having to drive my daughter to school as she missed the bus......never a good start to the day :upset:

Then I was just tetchy all day for no good reason so will be glad to see the back of it.

Staying reasonably busy so can't complain ATM.

Laters gaters

[kuya]

AF 19 March

There are now two threads started......winter you could go add to the other one.

TT and Mick have already posted so I added on there also.

[Mick]

AF 19 March

oops ..just found this thread....apologies winter..did you learn anything from drinking last night? need to get a plan in place for next time you feel like a drink

[BHOG]

AF 19 March

Winter: one thing I try hard to keep in mind is "nobody's perfect." Therefore, If I make a mistake, I learn from it. And is sounds like you did get a take-away from your slip up.
Get back in the saddle, grab the reins, pull your hat down to keep the snow out of your eyes, and go get 'em!
BHOG

[YoungAtHeart]

AF 19 March

Hey Winter, sorry to hear that you drank, but if you learned something from it, it is just another part of the journey. Kuya is right, though, it is important that you have some people who know that you are not drinking; they can help you in weak moments. Will your husband be supportive?

[learningtolovewinter]

AF 19 March

YoungAtHeart;1479938 wrote: Hey Winter, sorry to hear that you drank, but if you learned something from it, it is just another part of the journey. Kuya is right, though, it is important that you have some people who know that you are not drinking; they can help you in weak moments. Will your husband be supportive?

Yes, he will be supportive. I am not sure why I haven't brought it up? I guess because I am trying not to make a big drama deal about it. Just wanna stop, no big deal. I guess it is a bigger deal than I want to admit. I will speak to him.

I have a terrible headache by the way. I am sure it was the 'bar wine.' I really do not tolerate cheap wine, and bar wine is alway yucky. What is wrong with me?

Ugh. Checking in now because it's after 5. Not that I am tempted in the least to drink with this headache (reminder). But, I think I need to form new habits. Yesterday at this time I thought "hm, should probably get onto that website for a few minutes..." then I got busy.

[learningtolovewinter]

AF 19 March

BHOG;1479916 wrote: Winter: one thing I try hard to keep in mind is "nobody's perfect." Therefore, If I make a mistake, I learn from it. And is sounds like you did get a take-away from your slip up.
Get back in the saddle, grab the reins, pull your hat down to keep the snow out of your eyes, and go get 'em!
BHOG

Thank you for the encouragement- I really needed to hear that. Bless you for posting.

[learningtolovewinter]

AF 19 March

Mick;1479894 wrote: oops ..just found this thread....apologies winter..did you learn anything from drinking last night? need to get a plan in place for next time you feel like a drink

it is weird because i didn't really even feel like a drink.
i thought about wine a couple of times during the day, like aways... but i wasn't planning to drink. it just sort of happened. i even said i didn't want to go out because i didn't want to to be tempted. that is no plan though... what i never eat out again? silly idea... so, we ended up going and when i ordered wine i thought i will have a sip or two and that is it. (i have done this successfully in the past) the next time i order mint tea. i love mint tea and guess what? it doesn't make me do stupid things!

i have had the worst headache all bloody day and i need to study Dutch tonight.
Miserable thought. at least i know tomorrow i will wake up clear headed. i will figure out now how to read all my posts- i know it's possible- so when i need to i can find them... wishing you a peaceful evening!

[scottish lass]

AF 19 March

Winter - lots of us have been there/done that - and I am one of the worst! I keep waiting to be kicked off, but folks here just keep accepting me, offering encouragement and from time to time a swift kick when I deserve it! See the quotes in my signature - I am aware of so many who don't post when they make a wrong choice and go away in shame - don't do that, just keep trying!
You had a good start, just aim to keep improving on that....

[treetops]

AF 19 March

Quick post for Winter - as I have to get to work. No one kicks you off - we are here to support you.
Have you read some of the quitting AL books like the classics by - Allen Carr and Jason Vale - easy to get off Amazon or Kindle I think.
Take what you want from these books (some of its is rubbish and most of us could write much better) but read them! Quitting has to be a full-on multi-pronged approach. I know that for sure. You need lots of strategies, and plans. Its the stopping - not the stop that needs your attention.
Put aside all the analysis about whether or not your headache/hangover was from crap wine or fine wine. It was from AL. It does not distinguish what vintage, price, 'nose' it was dressed up in. Some of us here like Blondie have been wine 'experts' and owned expensive wine cellars - Its all poison from here on to you - if you accept this. If you were a diabetic you would have to look at sugar and many other foods differently wouldn't you?
Sure you can eat out and have a life AF - millions of people do. Its hard at first but the mint tea sounds like a good plan and there are lots of AF drinks. I can be a bit of a snob about mineral water when I dine out although at home I stick to the cheap soda water made from water from my tap!
Asian cuisines are also good for AF - usually wine clashes with the flavours - the wine and beer merchants try to convince us otherwise but thats rubbish.
Can't speak Dutch - but doing your Dutch lessons sounds like penance to me!