Early April AA Thread

[bettygirl]

Early April AA Thread

dutch! how interesting, seems like it'd be difficult language!
sorry about the back stuff...it's always something, eh?

phil! bogota columbia! wow!!! good to hear from you, world traveler! i'd love to go to south america someday...preferably on a long drive, but who knows!

180 days is cool...the rest of my life to go, and i am so fine with that! i have no desire to drink again, EVER!

peace!

[Solitaire]

Early April AA Thread

Hi there!
Has any of you attended Woman's meetings? There is a need in my city, and I could do with some advice and guidance?
Hugs from SA xxx

[retteacher]

Early April AA Thread

It seems the MWO site is congested or something.

[retteacher]

Early April AA Thread

OK...seems to be working now.

I'm back from FL...went to a meeting there & am starting to recognize people from the last visit. It's comforting to go to meetings on vaca...it gives me a sense of belonging.

I do try to attend a women's meeting on Monday nights if I'm free. There's definitely a different vibe there. It's a little more intimate...I like it.

Phil: My husb spent his Peace Corps years in Colombia...some of the time in Bogota. This was many moons ago...mid 1960's. They took the PC out of there, as it became too dangerous w/the drug trafficing, etc. He was there when coffee was the biggest export. Watch out for yourself!

I'm going to pick up my 6 month chip tonight. I have to constantly fight that feeling of regret about the relapse, as I would have been celebrating 4 years last month. Ah well, such is life.

Mary

[Doggygirl]

Early April AA Thread

Hi everyone! It's always great to know the AA thread will be here when I come by! Thanks to all of you who so kindly keep it going which benefits you I'm sure, but also benefits me.

bettygirl;1483438 wrote:
i was talking to a woman after the meeting this morning and she is on antibuse right now because she needs it.
My own opinion is that I cringe whenever I hear the suggestion (or hear that it was made to someone) that "you're not really sober if you are taking medication" or whatever variation on that theme exists within AA. Working in a treatment setting now, and seeing the number of people who, for any number of reasons, greatly benefit from medication - well, it's irresponsible advice. As an AA member, what I try to do about it is 1) support those people who are on medication and also have a desire to stop drinking and 2) try to influence others appropriately as opportunities arise. One thing I try NOT to do is outwardly express how angry it makes me. I don't want to give a newcomer any reasons not to come to AA. I just try to let them know that there are varying opinions on the matter, and that they should rely on their doctor for information/advice concerning medications. FWIW.

retteacher;1482785 wrote: The wonderful aspect of AA that I really love is that I can go anywhere & find a meeting. I immediately feel a part of the fellowship, as the basics are the same everywhere. Mary
Amen Mary!

gyco;1484519 wrote: interesting remarks...
Hi Gyco!

Solitaire;1484439 wrote: Happy Easter!
If you want to know what I am doing this long week-end, look at www.aasouthafrica.org!

Hi Sol - I wish that link would have worked!

bettygirl;1484669 wrote: t
I got a wild hair (pun intended) and went to a local Aveda salon and got all my hair chopped off. I had hair down to the middle of my back (all one length) and got a pixie razor cut. it feels great
WOO HOO!!!!!!

learningtolovewinter;1485922 wrote: I was just sitting here thinking 'isn't the internet amazing? all of these people communicating from all over the world in a common effort to set their lives on a positive track'. i find it wonderful.

Hi Winter! I find it amazing too!

learningtolovewinter;1486455 wrote:
Today is day 25 for me- a couple of hiccups in between, but I do think I am doing pretty good.
.

Congratulations!!! :yougo:

bettygirl;1487210 wrote: well, today is 180 days for me...kind of a milestone, I guess? sure does feel good.

CONGRATULATIONS ON 180 DAYS!!!! :yougo:

cpn1004;1487594 wrote: BG, 180 days is a big deal in my opinion. Good for you.
I'm in Bogota this week, no AA meetings, but doing fine.

HI PHIL!!!!!:h

Solitaire;1487818 wrote: Hi there!
Has any of you attended Woman's meetings? There is a need in my city, and I could do with some advice and guidance?

Start one!!!! I find women's meetings very different than mixed group meetings. I think women are more honest about women's issues and for me, there was also another important issue. I didn't trust women. The reasons for that are...well.. in my history. I find many women in AA say the same thing. I didn't want to go to women's meetings at first. I was much more comfortable in mixed meetings. I'm sure subconsciously I feel I can hide myself better there. Anyway...a sponsor forced the issue with me and I'm glad she did. I've grown a lot as a women by identifying women I can trust and letting down my guard.

Anyway...that was the feedback part. My other advice?? JUST START ONE!!! Congrats on the new sponsees. I'm sure you will learn a lot from them and they from you!

retteacher;1487968 wrote:
I'm back from FL...went to a meeting there & am starting to recognize people from the last visit. It's comforting to go to meetings on vaca...it gives me a sense of belonging.
Wecome home Mary!


I'm going to pick up my 6 month chip tonight.

CONGRATULATIONS MARY!!! :yougo:

DG

[retteacher]

Early April AA Thread

Thank you for the congrats. My sponsor was handing out the chips. I could see that she was happy I got my 6 month one.

I agree about meds. The 3rd trad states that we can be join AA if we have a desire to stop drinking. There are plenty of people who are on insulin, asthma meds, HP meds, etc. Sobriety is about emotional balance, & if Antabuse helps, I'm for it. In my opinion, it's not right to refuse to sponsor someone on the basis of her/his taking Ant. Not right!

I'll be back.

Mary

[porqoui]

Early April AA Thread

Hi all...

Mary...congrats on your 6 mth chip. I can just picture your sponsor, mine was chuffed when she gave me my 6 mth one.

Apologies for MIA but life has a way of getting in the way....PPQP

[retteacher]

Early April AA Thread

Last night's discussion meeting was on emotional availability. I realize now that while I did what I needed to do (work, chores, meals, etc.), the vast majority of time I was either thinking about when, where, & how I could drink OR I was under the influence. I was totally unavailable emotionally & therefore missing in action most of the time.

Mary

[bettygirl]

Early April AA Thread

exactly mary! i am so glad to really be a part of my own life, and that of my family. i was so vaccant for so long, even though inside there was a storm brewing at all times. outwardly i seemd allright, i'm sure (or my husband surely would have noticed i was wasted all the time!), but inside, i was a real mess. always pre-occupied, always on edge wondering when i was going to get my al and when i could drink it. upset with people for no reason when they interferred, never wanting to do things with my family...YUCK!!!!

anyway, we almost has another emergency at my house with my husband's eye problems, and i started to get really worked up (also has too much coffee today, that didn;t help!), but took the time to calm myself down and remind myself that i had no control over the situation, and i was there to help in whatever capacity i might be needed. it was hard because i had just driven the 2 hour drive home from seattle and would have had to turn right around and go back to his dr, there (what? it isn;t about me? it;s about his eye and vision???!!!??? ...anyway, it all worked out and he is fine, thank goodness! those breathing exercises sure d work when i use them...LET GO!!!!

peace!

oh, and the women's meeting thing, i think i might start one...

xo

[retteacher]

Early April AA Thread

BG: I don't know about your husband, but mine says he had no idea I was an alcoholic & drank so much. Did I hide it that well? I can only take him at his word, but I feel there must have been some denial there on his part. When I finally hit bottom & admitted my alcoholism, he was totally surprised. Even my daughter didn't know the extent of my drinking. Her husband (my son-in-law) knew, because he's a police officer & deals w/drunks on a daily basis. The hiding of the drinking became a very sick way of life. I was always on guard as to how I looked & sounded. What a way to live!

When I relapsed last summer for a short period of time, I fell right back into that pattern of hiding & drinking. It was awful, & thank God I was able to admit it relatively quickly. One of the biggest gifts of the program now is living life honestly wo/a huge secret hanging over my head.

Mary

[bettygirl]

Early April AA Thread

mary, my husband is a health care provider who works with a highly alcoholic population, and he didn't realize, he took me at my word that i had stopped years before...i really pulled the wool over his eyes. my daughter didn't know either, but she is young and trusting. we really must be good at hiding it, or at lying. i hate it. i am so open and honest with them now (and my friends and extended family) because i feel like i was such a rotten person for so long. they would say i was a good person, and defend me forever, but i know what i was really doing, and i am ashamed of myself for it. i can;t go back, only forward. i forgive myself now, and have accepted that to make ammends to them, i will live a true and honest life from now on.

hey, happy 6 months! we are really close in aa b-days, huh?

take care all!

[retteacher]

Early April AA Thread

BG: Indeed we are close in AA b-days. It'll be so wonderful receiving that 1 year medallion along w/you. Our stories are so similar! I think it was DG that labelled us women alcoholics: "sneaky bitches." Sorry, I don't usually use that kind of language, but it fits me perfectly. DG probably heard it at one of her meetings.

I too feel pretty rotten about the way I conducted my life while drinking. All we can do is go forward & try to clean up our acts. Additionally, it helps that I realize that this is a disease...not a moral failing. I found that out when I relapsed. It took almost no time at all to be drinking & hiding it as I did in the past. Non-alcoholics just don't do that.

Take care one & all.

Mary

[bettygirl]

Early April AA Thread

here's to getting another 6 months under our belts!

my sponsor is pretty cool...we are working on steps 6 and 7 and i am not a christian (she is) but i find buddhism to be a really cool philosophy and parallel to the steps...so i get to her house and she had researched buddhist 12 steps and printed up the steps for me! we r.ead through them and just the wording felt better in tune with my beliefs, yet still right in line with the BB. it was really cool of her to do that. she was taught to be a very by the book sponsor, so this is out of her comfort zone, but she is enjoying it and told em that i have taught her more than a lot of her other sponsees...i thought that was cool. we learn from each other in AA and i find that really cool. it's an egalitarian organization and we are all equals...the desire to stop drinking!

peace!

[retteacher]

Early April AA Thread

I've heard that about sponsorship...that the sponsor gets as much out of the relationship as the sponsee.

Off the subject of the steps...Can anyone relate to this problem that our weekend groups have had? I'm a GSR (general service rep), & a relative newcomer asked me to bring up a topic at the GSR meeting. It was about 13th stepping, which is when an older member hits on a newer member (either male or female). When I brought it up at the GSR meeting & asked what other groups do, I got some very strong responses. Almost unanimously, I heard that old-timers should take the offender aside & speak to them...men to men & women to women. It should not go unaddressed, as the newcomer could become discouraged about coming to meetings. Also, if a speaker should make an off-color or racist remark during his/her talk, that too should be addressed ASAP. We must remember that we're all alcoholics & sometimes do/say some really bonehead stuff.

[Doggygirl]

Early April AA Thread

Hi all!

BG - I loved reading about your sponsor and how she is open to learning more about a Buddhist approach to the 12 Steps. I think that is so cool!

Mary - your GSR work must be interesting! The meetings I usually attend do not tolerate a lot of obvious 13th stepping and people get called out on it. (however it goes on behind the scenes, of course) In my area, AA has a better reputation in general for less "predatory" 13th stepping than some of the other 12-step groups. I'm sure that is not true everywhere, and even here I'm sure it's not true (on either side of the equation) for all meetings.

I'm in the midst of coordinating all the volunteers for a big event which is one week from today. Once that event is behind me, I'm going to be looking for a new "home group" at meetings outside of my immediate home town. I am finding a lot of eithical conflict trying to attend AA meetings as a member in the same town where I am interning as a counselor. "Dual relationships" are against the code of ethics, and being a persons counselor AND being their peer in a 12-step group is a dual relationship. I keep seeing clients and former clients at meetings, and who knows what future clients I might be seeing. There will still be that risk with out of town meetings but it won't be as high of a risk. I wasn't sure how all that would go or how it would feel. I don't feel comfortable running into clients at meetings (and it's an ethical conflict anyway).

Other than that life is good. I was in the grocery store after work today and happened to notice an end cap display of wine. I guess I noticed it because it was in a very odd place - not near the liquor section at all. It was between the bread and the cookie/cracker aisle, LOL! I stopped and looked at the bottles, and just quietly reflected for a moment. There was not even a stir of ANYTHING in my head resembling any urge or thought to drink. None at all. NADA. It was so cool. Since I was also standing by the cookie aisle, looking at these wine bottles with no emotion whatsoever gave me hope that one day soon I can view cookies in the same light!!! :H (still battling my sugar issues, obviously!)

Hello to all other fellow AAers - have a great sober day! Life is good.

DG