af Friday 12 April

[treetops]

MAE Abbers!!!
Still trying to catch up on posts and still travelling - leaving the UK tonight for Hong Kong tonight, A few days there and then back home.
No Mick I am not an emigrant from the UK - I am a Pakeha New Zealander - my people did emigrate from Scotland but that was in the 1850s. I have some work/research and personal contacts over here - plus I like to travel when I can. But I hate being away from G and daughter.
Welcome InChains - hope this thread helps you. It sure did me, as I was AF for 6 months this week - and still am. My niece asked me if I was tempted to drink when staying in hotels by myself and this time I almost wondered what she was talking about. Yesterday I saw a sad reflection of what I was becoming and might have become (and will if I don't stay ABs) - an attractive, older, intelligent, professional woman who seemed to disintegrate once she started on the wine. She was still very controlled and kind of elegant (that I am not!) but all the slippages were there - the blotchy skin, glazed eyes, sadness and slurred words...
Hey LTLW - who is just across the sea from me here - hope your wedding is fab and truely something lovely to remember. Often its the little quiet things that matter isn't it? Romance does not have to be grand but a public declaration is great - so all the very very best
Hope my mate Kuya is Kuya-ising - I am on my way back so will smell any ciggies...lets keep a positive spin on winter (it can't be as bad in NZ as what people say its been like in the UK)
Hi Lav, PPQP - thanks for the well wishes on my 6 months - you guys have really helped so much - and others as well- many others - here and off the screen too
CB - hope your break-down of recent times is easing. How have the last few days been?
I have to go but will check in when I can - have a fabby abby-free Friday. Night-night Kuya!!!

[Mick]

af Friday 12 April

Morning all...and how are we today?Yesterday was a pretty good day, but for a couple of people I was with ,it turned out absolutely brilliant!!Aching a wee bit today...bigg swim this morning will sort that one out.
Raining over here..waters the garden and keeps the frost off.Went to the shop the other night...get your Christmas saver card here..as if the year isnt going fast enough!!!!

Tea n coffee on the go

Firstly big congrats to TT....6 months gone wowee well done you? Must be honest you certainly took to this so absolutely spot on:yay::happy::wd:

Mornin Inchy...how are you?like others, I too have followed your progress?over time.Glad you have finally called time on the mod issue ...for some it works and others it doesnt....its like trying to squeeze your feet into shoes that are way too small..aint ever going to fit!!!Welcome to the thread....the rule is ..no rules, but there are expectations...just basic courtesy to each other, we all have our own opinions on things, and are completely different,and dare I say it disagree!!!!,but that does not then develop into a personal battle/vendetta...oh yes and to strive to be af.......so have a great time

Morning LTLW......you have a great day :l

PPQP...yipee back in the land of get off my butt! welcome..glad you are feeling chirpier..and the boss is taking you out for a meal too? perhaps get the meal before the joke!!! THink this is the one

When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be Boss.

The brain said: ?I should be Boss because I control the whole body?s responses and functions.?

The feet said, ?We should be Boss as we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go.?

The hands said, ?We should be the Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money.?>

And so it went on and on with the heart, the lungs and the eyes until finally the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. So the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work.

Within a short time the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic and the brain fevered. Eventually they all decided that the asshole should be the boss, so the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the work while the boss just sat and passed out the shit!
Management Lesson:

you don?t need brains to be a Boss ? any asshole will do.


have a great meal!!


Mornnig Lav...havent spoken since you went to Longwood the other day ..was going to say did you enjoy it ..but I reckon thats a given...One cuppa coming up... sacrilege..Ive let a brew go cold here!!! have a great day.

Evening Kuya...how are you now?Friends gone back now?reckon youll be getting some kip time in then!!Take it after all the convo with yer mates ..you still dont miss the good old uk?

Morning Yah..and hows you this morning? ready for another weekend working on the house? Still on the floor?....not you..meant still working on the floor?:H

Morning Cat ..and how are you ..today..Holy .... you sound like summat out of a DC Marvel script!!! your post below

Menopause.....it is amazing marriages survive it. Anyone else want to chime in here?

from the male side....

why didnt you do this ,why didnt you do that, why did you do this ,why did you do that,

you never....., you always, you should,you shouldnt ,you used to , we used to ...cant wont shan't

Then those little words that make it alright............."think Im on the change! "really? no shit sheriff!!

sound familiar????:H

Right peeps time to say cya.......have a great weekend

A teacher went into her class room and saw the word, ?penis? written in small letters on the Blackboard.

She rubs it out and went on with the day's lesson. The next day, she came in and saw the same word on the blackkboard, but a little bit bigger. She rubs it out again and goes on with her lesson.

Over the next several days, the teacher would come in to find the word ?penis? chalked on the board, a little larger each time.

So one morning expecting to find it again she enters the classroom, but instead the blackboard read: ?The more you rub it, the bigger it'll get.?

A newlywed couple in their hotel room on their honeymoon prepare to see each other naked for the first time.

The husband exposes his knotted and twisted feet. He explains, "I had tolio as a child."

The wife asks if he means polio !. He says, "No, it only affected my toes."

He removes his pants and reveals his deformed knees. He admits, "I had kneesles, too."

Finally, he pulls off his boxers, and In shock, the woman gasps, "Oh no, you had-- smallcox, too!"

This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them.
"You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money."
Then she whispers, "You know that blowjob I promised you? Well, here it comes..."

A Mom visits her son for dinner who lives with a girl roommate.
During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty his roommate was.She had long been suspicious of a
relationship between the two, and this had only made her more curious....

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between him and
his roommate than met the eye.
Reading his mom's thoughts, his son volunteered,
?I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you,we are just
roommates."

About a week later, his roommate came to him saying,
?Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver plate. You don't suppose she took it, do you?"

He said ,"Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her, just
to be sure." He sat down and wrote :

Dear Mother:
I'm not saying that you ?did' take the silver plate from my house, I'm not saying that you ?did not' take the silver plate But the fact
remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.

Love,
your son.

Several days later, he received an email from
his Mother which read:

Dear Son:
I'm not saying that you ?do' sleep with your roommate, and
I'm not saying that you ?do not' sleep with her.
But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she
would have found the silver plate by now, under her pillow?
Love,
Mom.

've been eating those Tesco horse burgers and have found myself craving sugar cubes, eating oats and my breath stinks. On the good note, my willy has grown a foot and I can legally crap in the street.

he Greek government is in such trouble they?ve halted production of hummus and taramasalata. Yes, it?s a double dip recession.

The Banking Crisis simply explained
John bought a donkey from a farmer for ?100 and the farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.
But the next day he drove up and said, ?Sorry son, but I have some bad news. The donkey's died.'
John replied, ?Well then just give me my money back.?
The farmer said, ?I can't do that, I've already spent it.?
John said, ?OK then, just bring me the donkey.?
The farmer asked, ?What are you going to do with him?? .
John said, 'I?m going to raffle him off.?
The farmer said, ?You can't raffle a dead donkey.?
John said ?Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead.?
A month later, the farmer met up with John and asked ?What happened with that dead donkey??
John said, ?I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at ?2 apiece and made a profit of ?898.? The farmer said, ?Didn't anyone complain??
John said, ?Just the guy who won. So I gave him his ?2 back.?

How many ears did Davy Crockett have?
Three - his left ear, his right ear, and his wild front ear.

How many men does it take to wallpaper a room?
About two - if they're thinly sliced.








GOLF
An 80-year-old Scotsman went to the doctor for a check-up.
The doctor was amazed at what good shape the old fellow was in and asked: 'How do you stay in such great physical condition?'
... 'I am Scottish and I am a golfer,' said the old fellow: 'and that is
why I am in such good shape. I am up well before daylight and out golfing up
and down the fairways. I have a wee glass of whisky, and that's it.'
'Well,' said the doctor, 'I am sure that helps, but there has to be more
to it. How old was your Dad when he died?'
'Who said my Dad died?'
The doctor was amazed. 'You mean you are 80 years old and your Dad is
still alive. How old is he?'
He is 100 years old,' said the old Scottish golfer. 'In fact he golfed
wi' me this mornin', and then we went to the topless beach for a walk and
had anither wee dram and that is why he is still alive. He is a Scot and he is a golfer, too.'
'Well,' the doctor said, 'that is great, but I am sure there is more to
it than that. How about your Dad's Dad? How old was he when he died?'
'Who said my Grandad is dead?'
Stunned, the doctor asked, 'You mean you are 80 years old and your
grandfather is still living! Incredible, how old is he?'
'He is 118 years old,' said the old Scottish golfer.
The doctor was getting frustrated at this point: 'So, I guess he went
golfing with you this morning too?'
'No. Grandad couldnae go this mornin' because he is getting married today'
At this point the doctor was close to losing it. 'Getting married!! Why
would a 118 year-old bloke want to get married?'

'Who said he wanted to?'

CRICKET
If I had one cricket ball in one hand, and another cricket ball in the other hand, what would I have?
A bloody big cricket

[Lavande]

af Friday 12 April

Good morning Abbers!

CONGRATS TT!
6 AF months makes such a huge difference & now you know how strong you areally are

I've warmed up the coffee Mick, thanks!
Longwood was especially nice this week because we were able to spend the time outside in the warm sunshine Tulips still not open there yet but the millions of daffodils were lovely.

I have a full day ahead so I'll be sure to stay out of trouble!
Raining here as well but that's OK.
Wishing everyone a great AF Friday!

Lav

[porqoui]

af Friday 12 April

MAE ALL...

TT...thanks for the kickoff. Two threads, looks like you won the toss.

treetops;1490986 wrote: My niece asked me if I was tempted to drink when staying in hotels by myself and this time I almost wondered what she was talking about.

I remember when you wondered if you could get the hotel to remove the booze from the mini bar. :H

Mick...thanks for the coffee and the joke. Yes that's the one I wanted. Do you think I should wait awhile to ask for a raise after I tell it?
Seems there's always going to be some bad apples in the bunch, doesn't matter, the day was brilliant anyways.

Lav...I'll have a warm cuppa too please. There's only a smidge of tulip tops here nowhere near even thinking of opening.

Told the boss yesterday we are planning on building the raised beds on May 11th. I think he was in shock. Don't think he really thought I'd pull this off for this growing season.
Hah, now he's under the gun to get his obligations looked after.

Planning on having a great AF Friday hope you all do too.....PPQP

[kuya]

af Friday 12 April

MAE Abbers.....thanks Mick and TT

Back to normal and no smoking. Missing the friends tonight :upset:. Such fun having adult company for a while but tiring.

From what they told me Mick I won't be planning a trip that way for a while.....the worsening weather was their main complaint.

Got a nice relaxing weekend planned, go for a massage then sauna, then a lot of rest and reading YAY

[BHOG]

af Friday 12 April

Mick,
I could wrote a book on menopause, from the male POV; however, I enjoy my life too much.

[porqoui]

af Friday 12 April

Mick...the joke was a HUGE success. He even asked for a copy of it. :H :thanks:

[Mick]

af Friday 12 April

ppqp ...youre welcome

[porqoui]

af Friday 12 April

Forecast is calling for 10 cm of snow tomorrow and another 4 cm on Sunday :stomper:

[Catbuddy]

af Friday 12 April

Oh, PPQ, I absolutely love that picture.

Mae, all. LTLW, congratulations on your wedding and the gift of sobriety you gave your relationship - I mean, really, that is fantastic!

Rather than be a broken record, still struggling; we will leave it at that.

Wow, menopause. No one mentioned the emotional side.

Cat

[Mick]

af Friday 12 April

Mornin all....computer is playing up something chronic so aint stayin on long....tt over to you to start the thread ..and tomorrow ..I am out early,
sun is out so into the garden I am...crazy weather ..just noticed a swallow perched in the back garden..shouldnt be here

have a great day all:xxx::headbanger::hateputer:

[learningtolovewinter]

af Friday 12 April

Catbuddy;1491334 wrote: Oh, PPQ, I absolutely love that picture.

LTLW, congratulations on your wedding and the gift of sobriety you gave your relationship - I mean, really, that is fantastic!

Cat

Yes, it really is about giving this new life ahead a real chance at it.
I cannot give everyone enough thanks on this thread for giving honest opinions & experiences to consider. This time around I am allowing myself to be less than perfect in hopes of not giving up. Perfect is difficult, but I can feel I am getting healthier. And this is a good start.
Every morning I wake up clear headed I feel like I make a huge step towards the future I want. Thank you to all of you on this thread!