af day Tuesday 23 April

[BHOG]

af day Tuesday 23 April

Even if that smile comes from laughing at management's ahhh...attempts to fix the problem.

[Mick]

af day Tuesday 23 April

Ppqp...heres a load of boss jokes to take to work tomorrow..get that smile back on!!!


When the boss returned from lunch, he was in a great mood. He called the whole staff in to listen to a couple of jokes he had picked up.

Everybody laughed uproariously, except for one woman.

“What’s the matter with you?” said the boss. “Don’t you have a sense of humor?”

“I don’t have to laugh,” she replied. “I’m leaving Friday.”

Boss: “Experts say humour in the workplace relieves tension in this time of downsizing. So….. Knock Knock.”

Employee: “Who’s there?”

Boss: “Not you anymore!”

Feeling a little unmotivated at work? Here are some words to live by:

Always give 100% at work…

12% on Mondays
23% on Tuesdays
40% on Wednesdays
20% on Thursdays
5% on Fridays
And remember …….
When you’re having a really bad day and it seems like people are trying to piss you off, remember it takes 42 muscles to frown and only 4 to extend your finger and flip them the bird.

Now get back to work.

A boss and two of her staff walked into the cafeteria and tripped on a bottle on the floor. Suddenly, a cloud of smoke shot out of the bottle and a genie appeared. The genie said to the three of them, “I will grant each of you one wish.”

The first employee said, “Wow! I’ve always wanted to be in a villa in Italy!” The genie snapped his fingers, and in an instant, the employee was gone.

The second employee said, “I want to go on a trip around the world!” Once again, the genie snapped his fingers and the second employee vanished.

The boss then turned to the genie and said with a scowl, “I want both those employees back after lunch.”

A female manager of a large office noticed a new male employee and told him to come into her office.

“What is your name?” she asked the new guy.

“John,” the new guy replied.

She scowled, “Look… I don’t know what kind of a namby-pamby place you worked before, but I don’t call anyone by their first name. It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my employees by their last name only … Smith, Jones, Baker … That’s why I am to be only referred to as Mrs. Robertson. Now that we’ve got that straight, what is your last name?”

The new guy sighed, “Darling. My name is John Darling.”

The boss was complaining the other day that he wasn’t getting any respect from his staff.

The next day, he brought a small sign to work that stated, “I’m the Boss!” He then taped it to his office door.

Later when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said, “Your wife called. She wants her sign back!”

An employee called his boss one morning to say he was calling in sick.

The boss replied, “Whenever I feel sick, I just have sex with my wife. That always makes me feel better. You should try it.”

The employee said, “Okay. I’ll give it a try.”

A while later the employee called his boss back. He said happily, “You’re right! It worked! I feel much better! By the way, you have a really nice house.”

A boss hosted a dinner party for staff and encouraged everyone to bring their children. All during the sit-down dinner one worker’s four-year-old daughter sat staring at the boss. The girl could hardly eat her food for staring.

The boss checked his tie, felt his face for food, patted his hair in place, but nothing stopped her from staring at him. Finally, the boss asked the girl, “Why are you staring at me?”

Everyone at the table went quiet for her response.

The little girl said, “I just want to see how you talk out of your ass.”

Just saw this...pretty handy place!!!

[BHOG]

af day Tuesday 23 April

Thanks for the laughs Mick!
I needed them!

[porqoui]

af day Tuesday 23 April

I concur with BHOG....thanks! PPQP

[Lavande]

af day Tuesday 23 April

Great pic Mick

[TheSunFlower]

af day Tuesday 23 April

I have been scanning back and sorry to see that there is discord here. I haven't followed enough.

However, I will say that my school is teaching me way more than a therapist ever did. It is teaching me how to feel. And apparently us alkies are not the ony people who don't know "how we really feel, much less express it". It is teaching me to "feel" it and then teaching me the words to come up with it. I feel anxious....ok what does that really mean....because it is different for us all.

I am learning so much. Honestly....I don't know if I'll be a massage therapist.....but, I keep telling my teachers I don't know why I am here.....but I know I need to be. I am learning to listen....I mean really listen.

Some part of all that keeps me sober. Because at points I do have the senile thoughts to drink....and then I learn to listen to myself. All the crazy thoughts in my head....that my body and spirit really want no part of. And even with the crazy thoughts....I feel calm.

Its coming together. I am not drinking which is huge. Can't feel if you are numb. But, things are changing.

[treetops]

af day Tuesday 23 April

MAE SF.
Not sure what you mean by discord????
Do you mean this thread or MWO in general.

Its Wed evening here and I haven't even started today's thread. Mick will have to help out.....

feeling is good, and glad your school is going well SunF..!!!