Its got to be ABs for me

[journey04]

I am new here (joined yesterday), but not new to trying to deal with drinking - or even to alcohol chat boards. Over the past year, I've watched my consumption increase way too much. I thought 1 bottle of wine a night was bad - now I have been going into a second bottle, hiding most of the evidence from DH and kids. I have a medical condition that makes it dangerous to drink this much. But yet, once I start, I can't stop. I know that moderation will not work for this reason. I am sad and don't want to think about "never again," but in my heart of hearts, it can't go on. Day 2 (almost thru) was much harder than Day 1. A year ago, it wasn't too tough for me to stay dry during the work week and drink Fri-Sun only. Now, look at me. Ugh.

Well, I'll stop writing a novel here. Gotta get the kids in the tub. Tomorrow is another day - Day 3. Once I get to week 3, things tend to get easier. But for some reason, I've not made it past 32 consecutive days.

Looking forward to getting to know all of you.

Journey

[Noella]

Its got to be ABs for me

Welcome Journey!

I'm just finishing day 14, and based on the overwhelming nature of the first day or 2, I've decided that "never again" is just too big a concept to wrap my head around. I've just been focusing on "not today", and surprised myself on actually having to count the number of days I've gone through! For me, it makes the whole concept much more manageable...Maybe it will help you?

Have a good night - see you 'round the boards!

-Noella

:welcome:

[lushy]

Its got to be ABs for me

Hi Journey,

I think I responded to one of your posts but cannot remember if I asked if you are doing any aspects of this program. It really has helped me with my weekday drinking (the supplements and the CDs). Like Noella said, and I know it is such a cliche, but just focus on today and not drinking today. If you have gone 32 days before you can do it again, and beyond. Maybe you just need a little extra help and other aspects of this program can help. Keep coming around here. It has helped me a ton.

[bestlifeldms]

Its got to be ABs for me

Noella,

I send you all the support and encouragement! I just slipped after nearly 3 weeks of af, but am determined to be successful. I know I can, as I did 5 years AF in the past and want nothing less than total sobriety for myself. Moderation just is not what I want for myself.

I just got up 10 minutes ago and when I looked in the bathroom mirror the first thing I said in my mental dialogue was, "I will not drink today". Seems much less overwhelming, when just starting out. Before we know it, there will be more "sober todays" behind us than we can count. Glad you are here!

Hugs, :l

Best

[Noella]

Its got to be ABs for me

Thanks Best!

That's what I'm hoping... that some day I'll be sitting around, someone will offer me a drink, I'll say no without thinking about it, THEN remember how far I've come (as opposed to the constant thoughts now...).

:h

Noella

[rivergirl]

Its got to be ABs for me

Noella, That is a wonderful thought. And you know what? I think it CAN happen. It does take changing the deeper parts of our brain. Mikeupnorth has really been working that stuff and he has lots of AF time now.

I feel as though I can't take anything for granted yet but I do believe the CDs are working something just short of a miracle for my subconscious. I am no stronger than I was before I started listening - but not drinking and turning down free drinks is now wonderfully and surprisingly becoming "normal for me" I am a little nervous right now - but only because I hit 90 days today and I have done that probably three other times in my drinking career. Two of those times I drank right after 90 days and once I went 9 months. I could say I have a two out of three chance of failing now- or I cold say it is a new game and the results are up to me. I choose to think it is anew game. Over the course of the coming months I will look to all of you with gratitude - as I have over the last three months for inspiration and support.

River:thanks:

[Noella]

Its got to be ABs for me

I vote "three strikes and you're out (of that game!)" Definitely a whole new start...I believe things will go well for you! I'll definitely send good thoughts your way!

-N

[journey04]

Its got to be ABs for me

Great thoughts Noella, Best, River and Lushy!

I know that one day at a time is the best approach. I do become depressed and overwhelmed at the thought of giving up my (pathetic) best friend. It was so great to wake up on a Friday morning with a clear head and happy attitude. It is a rare Thursday night where I do not start drowning myself for the weekend.

Journey

[Breez]

Its got to be ABs for me

Hi J~

That was me. I had this endless cycle where in the past I'd go thru 2-3 weeks AF then I'd binge. Over & over-wasted time-hurting myself & the ones I loved. As my husband would say "don't you learn? It's like someone putting their finger in an electrical socket, getting shocked & still doing it again". That was it. I didn't get it-or at least I didn't want to get it.

I put off getting sober. I procrastinated. But I knew that all the procrastination & wishful thinking in the world wouldn't change the fact that I needed to be AF once & for all. No more excuses. No more "putting my finger in the socket & maybe this time I won't get shocked". I know better.

It comes down to a goal & a plan & never giving up. You can do it.

Just like Noella-I don't think I can "never drink again" is harsh because in reality I can if I choose to. "Not today" is perfect because every morning I wake up-plan my day & that thought puts a smile on my face instantly!

[Bella]

Its got to be ABs for me

I hope you get to where you want to be journey04. Love Bella xx

[cassy]

Its got to be ABs for me

Hi All i swear by the "not to day" philosophy.....It is too big to consider NEVER. It takes so much work to alter the "mind set" too.

i used to think its a bit boring to be the driver and not drink, or to go out with friends and drink soda.

It takes quite a while to break old habits....maybe it takes a day fro every drinking year?? wish i knew the formula,

i feel lucky I found this site before my drinking pattern increased to such a point that I lost relationships, the kids, job etc.

Reading the real misery that people have experienced spurs me on to try and have more alcohol free time than drinking times..if that is indeed a possibility??


i have genuine admiration for the people on here who have endured some painful life experiences, several bouts of detox, therapies etc and somehow had enough umph left to try and quit or moderate yet Again.

Talk about pick yourself up and dust yourself down motivation!..amazing.

sharing your ups and downs and ways you have learnt to cope has been a lifeline for so many people on here...myself included.

Heres hoping we alll have a sober or moderating weekend and enjoy the peace of mind that brings.


regards Cassy