AA Thread - May

[retteacher]

AA Thread - May

Cindi: Yes, everyone has their own particular resentments, our number #1 enemy. I too don't mind being referred to as "a girl" once in a while. I do find that my mostly-men's AA meetings a little disconcerting but have grown accustomed to it over the years. In our groups, we've had some "hitting on" the younger women which has caused dissention. I just try to remember that these kinds of conflicts in our groups are the situations we learn the most from. Bill said (paraphrase): "All you need for starting a new meeting is a resentment & a pot of coffee." It'll work itself out the way it's supposed to. The real lesson for me is to steer clear of trying to solve these conflicts for others. If I'm not offended, then it has nothing to do w/me.

Deter: There's a kind of arrogance for me in putting myself down or feeling others are better than me. I think the AA literature says that humility is finding out what our strengths & weaknesses are & trying to grow & improve. My relapse of last summer was an incredibly humbling experience. I fancied myself one of the stronger, more stalwart members of our group. When I had to pick up a 24 hour chip after 3 years of sobriety, it was devastating to my ego. However, ego-busting is exactly what I need. I cannot think that I'm a leader of any kind. I'm just another person trying to stay sober one day at a time. Good luck.

Mary

PS: Every meeting is a learning experience.

[bettygirl]

AA Thread - May

oooo, I got resentful at the same sort of stuff when I first got into AA! I really did learn the most from that kind of thing! it's how I learned to let go. now I feel like I can accept anything (as long as it isn't abusive) at a meeting. I even kept my mouth shut when my sponsor told me she doesn't believe in evolution! to each their own, it's liberating to not feel like you have a stake in everyone's opinions. I really learned to let go when I realize that, as an atheist, I am a huge minority in AA, and that's ok.

I am going to be walking my sponsor's dogs for 2 weeks while they are on vacation, and they paid me 100 bucks to do it. for some reason, I am losing sleep over it! I feel like that money should go to someone who needs it! all I am doing is walking the dogs for a 1/2 and hour every other day...that's it! I need to talk to her about it, but I already told her I couldn't accept it, and that I didn't want to be paid for doing it...she insisted. it is a totally sweet hearted jesture, but I feel really weird about it! what do you wise folks think?

anyway, have a great sober day everyone...cinders, I know what you mean about the blahs! that's when I go to a meeting or workout or do something other than stew in them.

peace~!

[retteacher]

AA Thread - May

BG: If she said she wants you to have it, then take her at her word. You might feel you're undeserving in some way (which you're not). It would be worth $100 for my dog to be walked by a dog lover like you each day. Peace of mind for your sponsor is what you're providing. There will always be someone who needs it more whether you accept it or not. M

[bettygirl]

AA Thread - May

hmmm, thanks mary, I never thought of it that way! you are right, I feel undeserving because I live a life of ease (currently! not in the past, and who knows about the future!), but nevertheless, I do feel like someone else should have it and not me. they were so sweet when they gave it to me and sincere, so I think you are right. ill take it with grace and humbly accept that this is what they want (they LOVE their dogs, just like we do!), and i'll pay it forward. ill do my best for them and their pups.

thanks a bunch!

[retteacher]

AA Thread - May

My life is pretty wonderful, but there are always ups & downs. Nothing big. However, in sobriety, I now realize why I drank. I didn't want to deal w/life on life's terms. There are mistakes, tensions, issues, etc. that must be dealt with. I see now that it's so much better to resolve w/these things rather than numb myself to them.

Today, when I woke up, I realized that there is some unfinished business that needs to be dealt with. In the drinking days, I would have started sipping on the booze at some time today in an effort to put off what needs to be done. Today, I have think about what the right thing to do is & then do it. It's that simple.

I hope all is well & the moms out there had a wonderful Mother's Day yesterday.

Mary

[Cinders]

AA Thread - May

retteacher;1505012 wrote: My life is pretty wonderful, but there are always ups & downs. Nothing big. However, in sobriety, I now realize why I drank. I didn't want to deal w/life on life's terms. There are mistakes, tensions, issues, etc. that must be dealt with. I see now that it's so much better to resolve w/these things rather than numb myself to them.

Today, when I woke up, I realized that there is some unfinished business that needs to be dealt with. In the drinking days, I would have started sipping on the booze at some time today in an effort to put off what needs to be done. Today, I have think about what the right thing to do is & then do it. It's that simple.

I hope all is well & the moms out there had a wonderful Mother's Day yesterday.

Mary

Mary,

I always drank before tackling unpleasant business to quell anxiety. Therefore I either tackled it drunk or did not tackle it due to blackout.

Today, I still have the anxiety and I am hoping the 12 Step process makes this get easier and easier over time but I just accept the anxiety and tackle the business. Not easy, but definitely more productive.

BG, I have heard at AA meetings that turning down gifts or praise is to deny the giver their due of good feelings and happiness. Hard for those of us who feel undeserving but perhaps a bit selfish on our parts? Must mull this one over, myself.

Love,
Cindi

[retteacher]

AA Thread - May

Cindi: Yes, walking throught the fear & anxiety in order to do the right thing is not so easy. However, the more I do it, the more gratifying it is. My mind is not cluttered w/a bunch of unfinished business. That is precisely the stuff I drank over. So, that issue I referred to in an earlier post: I dealt w/it directly w/the person involved, & now I can go about my day wo/that on my mind. What a gift! Mary

[bettygirl]

AA Thread - May

it feels good to be direct and honest. really, I can't see living any other way and being able to stay sober. its all around a better way to live.

I hate that feeling of impending, I don't know what when there is something unsaid, or a resentment building...I just don't want to live like that!

hope all is well or as well as it can be for everyone!

peace

[retteacher]

AA Thread - May

It was impossible for me to be direct & honest while drinking. I was carrying a load of guilt & shame & consequently I was all bottled up all the time. It was a terrible way to live. I was raised to keep my feelings/opinions in...it was an era when children should be seen not heard. So, it's not easy for me to say what I need to say. I am learning it now at my advanced age. It feels so good to clear the air though. Mary

[Cinders]

AA Thread - May

Mary and BG,

I had a good meeting with my sponsor and gave her a list of 20 examples of incidents where I was powerless over alcohol and 20 examples of incidents where I was powerless over occurrences in my life. I also had a reading to do in the BB and we discussed it.

She did share that she did not have quite the length of time as an alcoholic that I did but that our paths to sobriety would be exactly the same.

I picked up my 60 day chip yesterday. That was nice.

Love,
Cindi

[retteacher]

AA Thread - May

Cindi: It's wonderful that you earned your 2 month chip. I just picked up my 7 month chip last Sat. It gives the really new newcomers the incentive to go on when they see progress. I've kept you in my thoughts whenever I log on to MWO. I'm glad you're working w/a sponsor & following suggestions. Keep going. You're doing great! Mary

[retteacher]

AA Thread - May

This morning's meeting was on step 10. For me, it's a bit more complicated than apologizing for the wrong things I do. Sometimes it involves speaking up for myself &/or clearing up an issue. It's that unfinished business that caused me to want to drink. M

[bettygirl]

AA Thread - May

yay cindi! 2 months is awesome, and hard!

mary, my 7 month chip is purple, I love it!

just checking in to say hi...not much happening. at a meeting last night a guy who went away for work in December came back and didn't recognize me! I have lost 45 lbs and cut all my hair off, so I don't blame him, but when he realized who I was, he picked me up and said "sobriety agrees with you!" that was nice...and yes, it does!

peace!

[Determinator]

AA Thread - May

happy 2 month birthday Cindi!

and way to go Betty!

well, misa nervous! I've been asked to conduct the Friday noon AA meetings at my home group. eeeeeeeek! the group knows of my very short sobriety time but for some reason they think I'm the guy for the job. I guess there's nothing like a hunk of positive pressure to help bolster my sobriety.

[Cinders]

AA Thread - May

Det,

You will find you enjoy chairing the meeting. Make sure you have a topic in case no one has one and then, ta da, you are off.

No meeting today. The timing around Greg's surgery was all wrong.

I tried to leave early enough to hit the 5:00 meeting but ended up helping someone get situated instead.

Hopefully I can hit one tomorrow.

My group only gives out 1 day, 30 days, 60 days, 90 days and 1 year chips. I have a boat load of 1 day chips.

Love,
Cindi