hi all - I have been AF for 8 days now, I was looking back at old posts - I have been battling with this for 6 years. I have had periods of being AF - at most for 3 months - but I have always gone back to trying to moderate.
Thing is I can moderate in a fashion - for a month or so - and it's sooo hard while I do moderate successfully that it causes more stress then the 2-3 drinks relieve. Inevitably I end up back where I started - overweight,smoking again and drinking 6+ drinks in an evening - always wanting more.true moderate drinkers don't struggle like me.
I drink mostly to soothe social anxiety, low self esteem when out socialising - as Homer Simpson says 'beer - there's a temporary solution'. It has meant I have never totally got a handle on this developed real confidence.
I just turned 40 recently and I don't want to live this way anymore.I have had depression and anxiety since I was 16 and have drank my way through it - never with really awful consequences no DUI,lost jobs, major accidents. But bad enough. I know it will only get worse.
I have had depression,weight gain, wasted money, lost weekends,minor accidents, hassle at work due to lateness (11 years ago - not recently). My own drinking worsened 11 years ago as a result of my housemate dying by falling down my stairs drunk and breaking her neck. I drink to feel free of my worrying,to feel more loose and relaxed - and it works - temporarily - then it makes it ten times worse the next day.
Deep down I want to be alcohol free - with the increased energy,health,enthusiasm, motivation and sense of freedom that entails.I struggle with the idea of never again - so I am going to focus on just today and not having the first drink and how much better my life is/will be without alcohol. Good to be back.
Thing is I can moderate in a fashion - for a month or so - and it's sooo hard while I do moderate successfully that it causes more stress then the 2-3 drinks relieve. Inevitably I end up back where I started - overweight,smoking again and drinking 6+ drinks in an evening - always wanting more.true moderate drinkers don't struggle like me.
I drink mostly to soothe social anxiety, low self esteem when out socialising - as Homer Simpson says 'beer - there's a temporary solution'. It has meant I have never totally got a handle on this developed real confidence.
I just turned 40 recently and I don't want to live this way anymore.I have had depression and anxiety since I was 16 and have drank my way through it - never with really awful consequences no DUI,lost jobs, major accidents. But bad enough. I know it will only get worse.
I have had depression,weight gain, wasted money, lost weekends,minor accidents, hassle at work due to lateness (11 years ago - not recently). My own drinking worsened 11 years ago as a result of my housemate dying by falling down my stairs drunk and breaking her neck. I drink to feel free of my worrying,to feel more loose and relaxed - and it works - temporarily - then it makes it ten times worse the next day.
Deep down I want to be alcohol free - with the increased energy,health,enthusiasm, motivation and sense of freedom that entails.I struggle with the idea of never again - so I am going to focus on just today and not having the first drink and how much better my life is/will be without alcohol. Good to be back.
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