af day Sunday12 May

[treetops]

Apologies LTLW for starting the thread before you - but I have half a day's start:sun: and it is a brilliant sunny day here. Clear blue sky, birds twittering away doing birdie things, partner snoring, daughter comatose (not literally) but sleeping the way teenagers do...

Happy Mother's Day !! (at least this is when we celebrate it here and in Australia). Its a terrific present to myself to wakeup feeling positive and with not the slightest hangover, or regret from the night before. I am not fuming because the troops are still sound asleep and will not deliver my expectations of what we should do today - thats in the past for me. There have been past Mums days for me that have ended in tears - either because I felt neglected or because I missed my own Mum so much and felt guilty about neglecting her. I betcha quite a bit of wine was consumed by me throughout all that angst.:sulk:

So SL and Bear, LTLW - keep on with your great progress and efforts at getting those AF days and long-term sobriety racked up. IMO don't agonise too much about quit dates - just make the call. Great way you have handled that LTLW.

Lav - Happy Mums day too although its not the day as such in the USA - but you do so much as a Mum and grannie to offspring and animals alike.

Can't talk you directly into this narrative Mick - but I bet you have a cheeky line to throw in! Hope your Sunday jaunt goes well and that you are getting some deep sleep again.

Kuya - sounds like your kids are going to spoil you - get your son to stack some wood for me too!

PPQP - love the garden and I love the way some cities are being renewed and made useful for real people. Energising communities - without being too pushy or preachy - if you know what I mean???? Busy weekend for you?

Det - enjoy Florida - but hey, no 'Magic City' vices for you this time! glad the appendix went into remission (recession may be a better word - haha ????)

Hi there army refugee - Satz. !
Take care all and all to come and have a great day

[Mick]

af day Sunday12 May

mornin all...as you can see its daft o clock in the morning....5.20 am and I am getting ready to go forth into the world!!!
ppqp...well done on those beds ..they look pretty good :happy:
TT yep you cant talk to me dorectly into that narrative bout mothers day....but dont forget..somewhere along the line I had a hand progressing someone career as a mother!!! :H:H

Hi bear ..welcome stay here stick in ..you will be fine..just get your head round the modding issue.
Morn Lav...not raining here ..yet but looks pretty threatening!!you out in the muckpile today?

ltlw...tis Sunday...any new about the muppet show upstairs movin on?hope you have a good day despite all the hassle going on.

SL..you here? well done you ..keep it up my girl :clapclap:

Evening Kuya..hows you this evening?hope all is well mate..have a good one with your family

mornin Satzy you still awol? how is ya just peeked ma heed in to your place before I hit the road.

Mornin SF...kerching..thats what I meant ..bang on the money !! how are you today?

right folks for the offski see you all later :wavin:

cya

GIRL OR BOY!!!

A: Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans. Is it a boy or a girl?
B: It?s a girl. She?s my daughter.
A: Oh, I?m sorry, sir. I didn?t know that you were her father.
B: I?m not. I?m her mother.

THE BIGGEST LIE

Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room.

The teacher says, ?Why are you arguing??

One boy answers, ?We found a ten dollor bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie.?

?You should be ashamed of yourselves,? said the teacher, ?When I was your age I didn?t even know what a lie was.?

The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.

IT HURTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A man goes to the doctor and says, ?Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts.?
The doctor asks, ?What do you mean??
The man says, ?When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts. If I touch my knee - OUCH! When I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts.?
The doctor says, ?I know what?s wrong with you - you?ve broken your finger!?

THE DOCTOR

The doctor to the patient: ?You are very sick?
The patient to the doctor: ?Can I get a second opinion??
The doctor again: ?Yes, you are very ugly too??

A SECOND LANGUAGE

A family of mice were surprised by a big cat. Father Mouse jumped and and said, ?Bow-wow!? The cat ran away. ?What was that, Father?? asked Baby Mouse. ?Well, son, that?s why it?s important to learn a second language

EXEPT FOR TWO THINGS

Girl: You would be a good dancer except for two things.
Boy: What are the two things?
Girl: Your feet

The Perfect Son

A: I have the perfect son.
B: Does he smoke?
A: No, he doesn?t.
B: Does he drink whiskey?
A: No, he doesn?t.
B: Does he ever come home late?
A: No, he doesn?t.
B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?
A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.

An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman were in a pub

An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman were in a pub, talking about their sons. My son was born on St George?s Day,? commented the English man. ?So we obviously decided to call him George? ?That?s a real coincidence,? remarked the Scot. ?My son was born on St Andrew?s Day, so obviously we decided to call him Andrew.?
?That?s incredible, what a coincidence, ?said the Irishman. ?Exactly the same thing happened with my son Pancake.?

?
Adams Rib

Adam was walking around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely, so God asked Adam, ?What is wrong with you??

Adam said, ?Lord, I don?t have anyone to talk to.?

God said, ?Then I will give you a companion, and she will be called a ?woman?. This person will cook for you and wash your clothes, she will always agree with every decision you make. She will bear your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. She will not nag you, and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you?ve had a disagreement. She will never have a headache, and will freely give ?love? and compassion whenever needed. She will never question your behaviour or the company you keep. She will support you and understand that you have important decisions to make throughout your life and don?t have time for nonsense??

Adam asked God, ?What will this woman cost??

God said, ?An arm and a leg??

Adam said, ?What can I get for just a rib??

[learningtolovewinter]

af day Sunday12 May

Thanks for starting the thread TT- I slept in. Shame really because today is by far the best bodysculpt class of the week.
Just needed to rest. I cleaned the apartment from top to bottom last night and had wine. It was like a cleaning frenzy. I guess to get rid of all this negative energy that I feel lurking over my head? I wasn't craving wine at all, if I was thinking clearly I would have talked myself out of it. I had these dark clouds over me yesterday. We got an email from the owner of the apartment upstairs. It was actually rather cheerful. Some crap about 'oh, yes... what a mess with that silly Paul.' Said she'll do her best with the next tenant. I just wanted to cry. Enough. I have to get my mind out of this pit I have sunk into.

If I don't drink anything the rest of month I will have 27 days AF. That will be one more day than last month. I could feel good about that at least? If I am honest with you guys it sort of forces me to be honest with myself.

I have to add things have vastly improved upstairs. Only 3 guys there now and it is clear they have been told not to party, thank god. I fully expected another party last night. I was SURPRISED it didn't happen. There is no specific time they start, could be 8 or midnight, so this is probably why I decided to drink. Being down here and not knowing if it is safe to go to sleep or not sucks. I have this terrible foreboding feeling now. I don't want to be at home. I feel like 'who knows how our apartment will be?' I told my husband I wanted to go to a hotel on Thursday, but he said we cannot live like this; be run out of our own apartment. I also feel very bad for our upstairs neighbor. She lives alone and feels the same way I do. At least I have my husband for support. I guess we will sit with a real estate broker next week, by Wednesday I hope. I am pushing to get out of here. Shame, because we really need time to figure out where we want to live. But, we are not going to hope for the best.
What a stressful week. Who ever thought one could be so stressed and not even have a job!?!

Feeling rather defeated today.

[kuya]

af day Sunday12 May

MAE Abbers.......as TT said a lovely clear sunny day, warm to though last night was chilly ( 10c....i am such a wimp!)

Today was good, full cooked English breakfast and then the new Star Trek movie..... Not my usual choice of genre but it was wonderful, very entertaining. I then had a bit of a meltdown at my daughter who was being rude but heyho, that's life.

Now home in front of a roaring fire, finishing some chores before the evening is gone.

TT my memories of last Mother's Day are vague.......none of us can remember what we did. I was still drinking so everything is a haze.





Most people don't know this but god created woman first as company for himself.

The first day she complained 'I am hungry' ......so god made trees to bear fruit.

The second day she complained ' I am cold'.......so god made her clothes.

The third day she complained ' my feet are sore' ........so god gave her shoes.

The fourth day she complained ' I have no shelter' ...... So god built her a house.

The fifth day she complained ' I am bored' .........by now god realised that his creation was never going to be satisfied.......so he created man.

On the sixth day the man complained that all he did was work and slave for the woman and he was leaving the garden..........

So god created genitals and said to woman ' go over to man, he has a talking snake that wants a word with you'

The rest is history.

[bear73]

af day Sunday12 May

morning - thanks for the welcome yesterday. I drank and smoked last night.

I did the same thing that I always do - go to a big party and not drive too early in being sober. If I drive there is no way I drink. I drank to fit in,ease shyness, bond with people.
Stupid thing is there were a few people not drinking,either because they were driving or one girl because she is trying to get fit for her sport,kickboxing.

I need to nail this and use these people as examples that it can be done - I always convince myself EVERYONE will be drinking,they're not, and if they are they don't care anyway. People pleasing has always been a big issue for me.

I am tired and hungover,not skating (injured knee anyway but was planning to go to watch and see strategy).I don't want to keep doing this and feeling stuck in this destructive cycle of drink/smoke/eat too much/no exercise.I feel like a failure and like I can't achieve - yet there are things I've achieved - work promotions,weight loss,qualifications,long term friendships,new job,learnt a sport and I HAVE quit alcohol and cigarettes before.

I need to 'unweld' both cigarettes and alcohol from my identity and stop the 'I'm not bad enough to need to stop forever'. It's almost like I'm trying to justify and get others' approval that I need to stop alcohol and fags - because they don't see it as a problem. This is all stupid logic - am I saying to myself I need to wait until I am sick/badly hurt to say 'yep - got a problem - need to stop'.I also need to accept that alcohol is an addictive drug and I am on the slippery slope - I think I am seeing it as about willpower.I know AA says willpower alone isn't enough.That seems to be making more sense now. I like the idea of surrendering and not battling to control it - taking away the debate about how much is too much/can I moderate etc etc.

TBH part of the reason I am scared of AA is the meetings - I worry I'll be called out for not having a problem as I don't have big life changing consequences YET.I also worry that it will make it real by saying it out loud in a room - I have a problem.

I WANT to quit I feel it has caused me enough problems/will cause me more - it won't get better - likely it will get worse. I need to believe in myself and put myself first - I know when I see some friends e.g. for upcoming BBQ part of the evening will be about getting sloshed and if I don't that won't go down well.God - I remember my dad saying when I was a kid 'think for yourself,don't just follow' - good advice it seemed easier then, I'm 40. I need to be my own person - my friends say that I am strong and know my own mind - I think I need to channel that into this.

Sorry for enormous post - I needed to get this all out to try to make sense of it all.

[Cinders]

af day Sunday12 May

Good Morning Afers,

TT, Happy Mother's day, to you, too. And to all other Mother's on the thread.

Mick, Enjoyed the jokes. Thanks for a good laugh this a.m.

Kuya, At least now when we have melt downs, we remember them and they are not driven by hazy, alcohol induced logic. They are all our own!!

LTLW, Unfortunately, there will never come a time in our lives where stress does not exist. If we wait for a stress free time to be AF, it will not happen. Of course, in my case, on those days when stress was not an issue, I ended up drinking because I was in such a good mood and wanted to "celebrate."

Bear, I have been here longer than you and doing the same thing as you. Knowing I should quit, wanting to want to quit but deep inside not wanting to quit. "Knowing" I should be able to drink normally and enjoy it, damnit!! I finally realized one day, oddly not after a huge debacle caused by drinking, many others left behind and ignored in the past, but just sick and tired of the mess. Tired to the bone of my drinking and its aftermath.

When you get there, you will quit.

btw, in my last AA meeting we the discussed helping the drinker who had not yet let their lives spiral down so far. This is talked about in the BB. If horrible circumstances can be averted for any alcoholic before they are experienced, that is a good thing.

I am not pushing AA on anyone, because I believe there are many successful paths to sobriety. But there are a lot of people in those rooms with many years of sobriety and I am willing to learn from them what they have had to learn to stay sober, just as I am willing to learn from those here at MWO who have managed to get sober.

I do know one thing for sure. If I feed my body a drink of alcohol, I place myself in the position where a substance is steering my mind and not my free will.

Love to all,
Cindi

[Lavande]

af day Sunday12 May

Good morning Abbers & Happy Mothers Day

The troops will be gathering here later but I'm not spending the day in the kitchen.
I plan to make them cook for themselves out on the grill

The rain system has finally moved out of here after several days. The mulch pile is awaiting!

Greetings TT, Mick, Kuya, Cindi, LTLW & bear.
I am grateful to be here & solid in my commitments to stay away from addictive substances ~ the only way I can win

Have a great day one & all!
Lav

[YoungAtHeart]

af day Sunday12 May

Hey all! Haven't had much to say lately, so just popping in for a hello and to let peeps know I'm okay. I'm having one of those periods where I get set to write and my mind goes blank. Duh. But I am okay and no drinking or smoking.

Thinking of all of you.

:l
YahYah

[porqoui]

af day Sunday12 May

MAE ALL...

TT...thanks for kicking us off and Happy Mothers Day to you. "...cities are being renewed and made useful for real people. Enegizing communities..." Real People :H Yup I know what you mean. The goal is to make the garden a destination spot. Lots of learning and socializing opportunities ahead. We accomplished all we set out to do yesterday so am taking the day off today. Going to be a scorcher...close to 30C.

Mick...thanks. Every now and then the wind would shift and you'd get a real whiff of the cedar. Heaven! Glad you were able to pop in before your early out, have the time to read the jokes in one sitting. :H

LTLW...:l you may have been defeated yesterday but not today! When I'm not thinking clearly I use the "Mick Method" and ask myself "What would Mick say?" and the first question he'd ask is "Why do you want that drink?" Taking the time to come up with that answer gets me past the critical point. Hang in there, you've got your heart in the right place.

KY...I love the "heyho" attitude. Life does go on doesn't it! I love a roaring fire and during the summer (as spring never did sprung here) I look forward to rain and thunderstorms so I have an excuse to have one. And you'e right, I didn't know woman was created first. :H

Bear...Apologies for not welcoming you aboard yesterday, my Saturday was rather busy. I don't think you need worry over being called out at an AA meeting. Many of the "Old Timers" at my home group are so pleased and pumped to see "New Comers" who have not had to go down that ugly road of hitting rock bottom. Just know that MWO is definately the place to get it all out and we'll be here to help you make sense of it all.

Cinders..."Of course, in my case, on those days when stress was not an issue, I ended up drinking because I was in such a good mood and wanted to "celebrate." Two peas in a pod Cinders, I could have written that statement. You're sounding very upbeat today, enjoy you day.

Lav...good plan on the grilling. Although I find with a BBQ'd meal the grilling is the easiest part. All the real work gets done before that.

YahYah...glad you popped in before I finished this post. Also glad everything's going ok! You must experience those "mind goes blank" scenarios all the time but then I assume they pass and you're back to writing. Enjoy your day.

Off for my second cuppa and to see what's in the fridge for breakie. Have a great AF Sunday all and all to come....PPQP

[scottish lass]

af day Sunday12 May

Happy Sunday all - Happy Mothers day to those celebrating.
Bear and LTLW - I came so close yesterday - had a great day and wanted to enjoy wine to finish it! Made so many crazy reasons to nip out on an errand, and managed by hook and by crook not. Obviously today I am so pleased with myslef, but tonight I know I will be back there again.
I so get the difference between depravation mode and gratitude mode - and I try so very hard to move from one to the other, but last night I was so mad that I couldn't finish the great day with a glass of wine, because I would drink the whole damn bottle!! And today I will feel the same - it will be a great day today - yes, I know it will be because I didn't drink last night - but I will want to, and will be mad because I can't! When will this go away??? I have poured two bottles of wine out this month - and am so resentful of that! Silly isn't it
OK - whining over because I am in a great mood at present and hope that it lasts longer than yesterday.
Hi everyone else, good to see you PPQ, Lav, TT, Mick, Cinders and KY. Thanks for all the honesty and insight as each of us work our way at different stages on the same path.
YAH - lovely to see you drop in, hope all is good with you:l:l

[treetops]

af day Sunday12 May

I don't push drugs and I worry about people's livers - but SL - have you thought of a short course of Antabuse - to take the decision making off you - and to give you that stretch of absolutely no AL at all. You don't need to take a big dose of AB or take it everyday but you do need to have the commitment and not play silly buggers with AB (as a few on MWO have done) - as it can make you very very ill.
Apologies if you have been down the AB road before. I am also happy to give you my experience on it if you want to PM me.
Cheerio:welcome:

[learningtolovewinter]

af day Sunday12 May

Porquoi: Thanks for your kind message, it really helps.
I did fine today. Moving on to the 'new' day 2. Decided I will count the rest of my AF days of May like this. One day building on the next and then do the month total.

Cinds: of course it is obvious life is never without stress. I have just kind of had a full year of it. I know I can kick this and will not give up until I do. Just had another weird chat with my mom. Normally I would have had to have something to drink for the courage to call her. Tonight I did it stone cold sober. Yes, it wasn't fun, but after I felt much better about myself for calling. I won't go into it, not necessary... but I think we all agree that getting old isn't much fun for anyone. We will leave it at that.
Happy M Day to all you mums!

I guess I am just feeling grateful for wrapping up this day without wine. Off to read now.

[learningtolovewinter]

af day Sunday12 May

Oh, and wanted to say good for you for staying strong Scottish Lass!
I have those days too when I more or less trick myself into not drinking. I wonder what the hell has happened to me? In the past I could stop drinking for months with no real trouble. What is my problem? They are not kidding when they say this problem gets worse, not better.
I think I am still at the stage where I am recognizing just how much I actually drink and how I HAVE to stop it altogether for is to really work.

Good for you for getting through the day AF!

[porqoui]

af day Sunday12 May

SL....:angel: "PPP" :angel: for tonight. :l

LTLW...one day building onto the next "Excellent" roud:

[Determinator]

af day Sunday12 May

Happy Mothers Day!


hugs and best wishes to all. Also thanks to Treetops for the kick start.

Sure is hot/humid here in FL on the coast, but a fun change of environment to be sure and were having a lovely AF time.

Bear I'd also suggest a face to face meeting. Worst case is you don't like it....no harm done

Be well everyone