af Thursday 16 May

[treetops]

MAE everyone. Nice sunny morning here.
It sucks that so many people have financial/family hassles - can't offer any advice except stay strong.
Special hugs to YahYah - don't cut yourself off from us:h:h:h

Hope the bloods are OK Mick - I am overdue for mine - its the fasting that puts me off (weekdays I have at least 2 hours after getting up before I can even leave the house which does not put me in the mood for fasting - might try to go this Sat morning for my Bloods)

Lots of talk re supplements and diet as well - thanks Kuya. Yep its my liver I have to watch.

Have to get back to work - but have a great Thursday all to come - one and all

[bear73]

af Thursday 16 May

Morning treetops - working at home this am then off to course in London in pm.
Got to pick up eye drops for cat this morning - poor boy was a stray and has recurrent eye infection,they think he had cat flu while he was a stray.

I bought all my supplements yesterday - spent ?70 - but that was two for one on omega oils, 5HTP, B vit complex - I also bought tyrosine and l glutamine. I'll be rattling - have never bought supplements specifically for coming off booze/ciggies before. Although it's a lot it's what I would spend on 2 big boozy nights out AND it's a positive. We'll see how it goes- they are the supplements that are meant to be good for low mood/anxiety as well.

I am getting anxious at new job - worry I'm not good enough,going to mess things up. I think it's just talking back to that voice - I've had only positive feedback so far.It also feels like the sort of place that if I did make a mistake I wouldn't be hung out to dry.

My knee is still injured - I went to skate practice as an observer - it was good as I got to chat to new team mate and felt better than if I had stayed at home doing nothing.

I plan to go to the gym tonight and do some core/arm exercises and maybe walk on the treadmill.I need to do some exercise and will feel better for doing that.Running may be off the cards for a while now (10k in August). Exercise helps my mood so much, I just need to do it.

I think one of my probs with quitting booze/smoking/diet/exercise is I think 'well I messed up before', ' it's too hard'. I also think in terms of total lifestyle change (which in terms of booze/cigarettes it is all or nothing) BUT with healthy diet/exercise I need to allow myself some middle ground.

For example - I don't make own lunch and buy(generally healthyish sandwich and fruit) BUT I plan to make salad with lots of chopped veg,cooked lean meat/fish etc etc middle ground could be to buy those salads initially until I sort my routine out. I'm also trying to cook healthy dinner as well - I think i may need to do lentils/fish/chicken with small amount of carb and 2 veg. Easy and a bit formulaic but also varied with different seasonings,.Saves me planning recipes.
Word vomiting again but it helps to see it in print and work through my plans. Have a good day everyone.

[Mick]

af Thursday 16 May

MAE everyone ...and how are we today?all doing well? there are quite a few people on the site having probs of one kind or another at the mo....pardon the pun....but dont bottle it up..or hide in a corner..talk it out on here ,yes we might not be able to do anything but"listen" but you never know!!!having said that ..right time to get yer listening heeds on ,cos heres my moan.
Was at the docs yesterday....all is fine in my blood tests...except cholestoral levels which is 6.Last time I went it was 5.2 but I was on Simovastatin tablets which made me feel poorly.Admittedly since I stopped taking them felt tons better.The doc yesterday says that the cholestoral level is not a major issue...the recommended level of 5 was based on a singular test in the 90s..now all I have read indicates 6 is too high .My diet is good,exercise regular ,5ft 7 tall and weigh 11st 4 lbs so not overweight,dont smoke or drink.Both parents died of heart attacks and I had a stroke 2.5 years ago.So basically to reduce my chol level I need to go back on the tabs which make me poorly.....or leave the risk and not bother taking them.Came out yesterday totally deflated to the point I thought "f.ck it whats the point...I just then went on a sweetie binge, and I honestly thought about sacking it all and getting some booze.....the only thing that stopped me,was being held accountable for it on here and letting people down!!!so it definitely works!!!thought of booze didnt last too long and I am strong willed enough to kick in to touch, but still totally confused and cheesed off..so if anyone out there has any ideas let me know!!!

Right enough of that lot ..lets get on!!! tea and coffee on the go

Evening TT how are you? does that answer your question about the bloods :H..hows you this evening?still busy or got some time to yourself?have a good evening Glad your daughter is doing well at skool

morning bear..how are you today?have you started making any plans on how you will change your thought process about drinking and channeling your energy?Once you start down that road it will be easier

morning ltlw.....how are you today?Dont think cutting down drinking to once a month is the answer, probably not at all is a better one..after all thaat once a month can get "tweaked and played with to suit!! hows the house front doing ? any joy so far?Veel sucess on that one

Evening KY...you know every time I write that I turn to jelly!! :H (cheap joke) hows you this evening? ok I hope...hows the business doing? are you getting along any better? fingers crossed for you.

Morning ppqp...yep you will have seen my wee rant at the beginning so I dont have to mention that!!coffee for you..hope your night wasnt as restless..started messing about in the garden yesterday..."found " some pipework on my travels yesterday which is cut offs from a resevoir where they were repairing the pipework on a local dam..the rabbits absolutely love playing in it..so I am ging to box it in somehow and put grass and plants in it..well thats the general idea.also spuds and strawbs have been move so now going to get the rest of my plants into the greenhouse..then after that the front garden!!!hows you doing?Julie thinks Im mad but hey ..and????
At least you dont have to attend court on 22nd..hope all goes well

Morning Lav...brew time...awwww you wont let the kids near that make ..just think of the fun they could have!!!Any plans for today? or are you still in the shop?have a good one

Morning YAH....hows you today?Sent loads of vibes in the air for you...and best of luck with the new clients fingers crossed for you

Hi Cinder wow ..thats some drop down from 7 to 1.5 !!!! Thats one of the things over here that we take for granted..the National Health Service and the healthcare provided..mind you every other sod seems to manage to get into Britain to get it ...ooooops!!!
Best of luck with hubbys op and good luck on the job hunting

Hi SL ...hows you today?keep your chin up...think we all get blinded and starstruck at one stage of our lives with marriage...I know when me n my ex split up ,there were bills appearing for aes that I knew nowt about and an empty bank account..remember many many moons ago sitting with a bottle of cheap cider thinking where is this going to go...fortunately not the way i thought it would at that point!!!Just got stuck into it and kept going and that sometimes is what you have got to do

Morning SF...how are you today? glad you managed to ping pong those drink thoughts!!!


right thats me orf...keep yer chin up and keep smiling...that way no one knows whether you are sad,mad or bad!!

take care all

The rabbit tunnel ..to be boxed in and staged







Spuds n strawberries frame







Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
A: Because it felt crummy.

Q: Why?d the blonde have lipstick smeared on her steering wheel?
A: She tried to blow the horn.

A lady goes into a tattoo parlor and asks the artist to tattoo a picture of Robert Redford on her right upper thigh and a picture of Paul Newman on her left upper thigh.

The artist does so, and when he finishes hands her a mirror so she can inspect the work.

She looks at the left thigh and says, "Wow! That?s definitely Paul Newman. Just look at those blue eyes." Then she looks at the right thigh and complains, "That doesn?t look like Robert Redford."

The artist disagrees and says they need to find an impartial judge.

They go to the bar next door and ask the first guy they meet to identify the tattoos. She raises her skirt and drops her panties, and he gets his face up close and says, "Well, ma?am, the one on your left thigh is definitely Paul Newman. He even has the blue eyes. The one on your right I?m not sure about?but the one in the middle is definitely Willie Nelson."

Q: What do you get when you mix Ex-Lax with holy water?
A: A religious movement.

A woman was letting her husband have it with just a touch more venom than usual by saying, "You're an idiot. You have always been an idiot. You'll always be an idiot. If they had an idiot contest, you'd come in second."

"Why would I come in second?" asked the husband.

"Because you're an idiot!"

A guy walks into a bar one day and says to the barman, ?Give me six double vodkas.?
The barman says ?Wow! You must have had one hell of a day.?
?Yes, I just found out my older brother is gay.?
The next day the same guy walks into the bar and places the same order. When the bartender asks what the problem is this time, the answer comes back, ?I just found out that my younger brother is gay, too.
On the third day the guy walks into the bar and orders another six double vodkas.
The bartender says, ?Geez, doesn?t anybody in your family like women??
?Yeah, my wife.?

A businessman from New York is driving through Mississippi on his way home for Christmas. He stops at a local store and notices the three wise men out front are dressed like firefighters. While inside, the man asks the clerk about it.

?You city folk think you know everything,? says the clerk as he reaches for his Bible. ?But it says right here that the three wise men came from afar.?

And Kuya.......one for you!!!!!

A woman brought a very limp duck in to a veterinary surgeon. As she lay her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry, your duck has passed away."

The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead," he replied.

"How can you be so sure," she protested. "I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room, and returned a few moments later with a black labrador retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table, and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog and took it out, and returned a few moments later with a cat. The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on it's haunches, shook its head, meowed softly, and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100 percent certifiably, a dead duck." Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill.

"$150!", she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!!"

The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you'd taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the lab report and the cat scan, it's now $150.00."

[treetops]

af Thursday 16 May

Morning Bear - its evening here.
Yes definitely I suggest the middle way - I too used to think it was all or nothing. Doesn't happen like that does it? I wouldn't over-stress about the big healthy lifestyle thing too much - as some of us have said - you need to eat and not be hungry esp in the early days. Quitting AL is the primary mission - the rest can be dealt with in an incremental way.
You can stop but you need to want to - and be prepared for some tough times and decisions. We are all different - some just make the switch - stop - and thats it - others take a more graduated approach. I am sure the supps will greatly help - even if you can't feel the change - your internal bits and pieces will. If you forget to take the supps one day don't agonise. Just don't forget to walk away from AL - if thats your goal.
Have a good day and I do hope the course goes well. If you just want to go home and flop - so be it. Don't force the gym thing.
I was in London a few weeks back - very different to where I live!!!!!!

[treetops]

af Thursday 16 May

Morning Mick

What a bugger with the Bloods. I am not a medical doctor so just talking as a friend - I would say give yourself another period of time off the tablets and see if the cholestoral tracks up. Then decide. Cholestoral is not the only factor in heart disease and
you are undoubtedly much healthier and fitter than when you had the stroke - so that must count.
Also can the Dr suggest another drug - as there are quite a few different types.
Heart disease is rampant in my family - often at an early age. My GP is a cholestoral nazi - probably why I am avoiding the tests cos I don't want to go on statins. My cholest. only started to go up post-menopause (that doesn't help you!!!).
Glad you did not resort to AL - sweetie binges are allowed:H:H but I do understand how irritating it can be when we put in the hard work to heal our bodies and still end up with dodgy results.
Yeah - I get the guilts now even when I eat a low-fat, low sugar ice-cream. Not fair is it:upset:

[learningtolovewinter]

af Thursday 16 May

Mick- your garden looks great! Very impressive.
I am growing herbs from seed, but you put me to shame.
Question for ya: from the photos it looks like you live in a rowhouse. Do you hear much noise from your neighbors? How about when you are in the yard? We are looking at a row house tomorrow in Wassenaar. We looked at one before but there was a full on playground in the yard right next to it, and the kids were out there whooping it up. Natural of course, but the idea scared us off.

I am just wondering as I have no experience with it, but think that it could be fine? Depends on the neighbors naturally. We may end up in a high rise. I found something with only 4 apartments per floor and great light. If you had to choose between a row house and a high rise w/balcony, which would it be? (forget about the gardening, you have a country house in this fantasy).

Bear73:
I had a lot of anxiety yesterday too and really feel I NEED something to help me calm down.Going to the center this morning with a list, so I am sure to find something. The anxiety isn't caused by anything. I was just walking to buy colored tissue paper and all the hustle and bustle, and the strangers about I just felt out of place, vulnerable... weird I know, I know. I have to force myself to do pretty much everything that isn't inside our apartment or my studio. Everything else I have to talk myself into. I even feel anxious about riding the bike (falling on the bridge didn't help matters). It is kind of hard to believe I moved across the ocean to a place I know almost no one. This is always one of my problems, dealing with strangers and feeling comfortable. It just isn't natural to me.

It may seem I am rambling but I think it is good for me to write this stuff down. I took antidepressants on and off for years, but I don't want to go back down that road. I find it as bad, if not worse, as drinking. At least with drinking you can sleep it off. I know that sounds terrible, but I never felt normal on any of them. Having a bit of a though time of it. Imagine if I had to get used to a new job now?!! Omg. It could be a good thing though, at least a distraction? It will be good to go to the States and for a while and see people I know and love.
Okay. Dog walk.

[learningtolovewinter]

af Thursday 16 May

Mick:
Came out yesterday totally deflated to the point I thought "f.ck it whats the point...I just then went on a sweetie binge, and I honestly thought about sacking it all and getting some booze.....the only thing that stopped me,was being held accountable for it on here and letting people down!!!so it definitely works!!!thought of booze didnt last too long and I am strong willed enough to kick in to touch, but still totally confused and cheesed off..so if anyone out there has any ideas let me know!!!

Wow, glad my brain isn't racing this morning and I read this!

The doctor didn't mention the magical wonder of old fashioned oat meal to lower your cholesterol? My auntie is a nutritionist and she highly recommends it, as do a lot of folks. Medicine sucks, I agree.
Eat a bowl of oatmeal everyday ( the instant kind is okay, but not the little sugary packaged ones). It might take a while, but it will help. You are one point over the norm? For goodness sake I hope he didn't recommend meds for that!?

I am kind of surprised you were thinking about booze? I have this misconception in my mind that once folks manage to stop they never give it a second thought.
I was feeling the same way about sugar last week and then stood on the scale and freaked out. Weird how quick sugar works against us.

Good for you for looking at things in a practical and NOT impulsive way.

[Mick]

af Thursday 16 May

Hi ltlw....yes you are right kind of depends on your neighbours..I live in a semi-detached (neighbours directly attached to the house,) but not on the other side.From the from window I have facing one row of houses, but as I live in a cul de sac there isn much traffic at all because the end of the road is just fields and hills ..same behind me from the rear of the house..just fields and hills All the neighbours round here are sound and all the children have grown up round here...most of them have grand kids..my opinion if you see somewhere,then go back to it at the maddest of times, weekends Friday nights school out etc then you will get a better picture.Yes I did think of booze, but it wasnt an issue...like the very odd occassion smell ciggy smoke and think hmm wouldnt mind..and yet its over 10yrs since I smoked!!As the saying goes..no harm in window shopping...its when you start sampling the goods you get into trouble!!! ASs regards to a flat or a rowhouse you have got to look at the plus and minus for each...I have lived in both and both types have been crap ...but also good.My own preference would be a row house,,but there would be lots of caveats and criteria with that.Sorry for not being much help....thank you for the oatmeal tips,Iam going to sit down later and work some sense of norm into my thick skull!!!

[learningtolovewinter]

af Thursday 16 May

Nah, you offered some sound advice Mick, thanks!
It is a tough choice. I wish we could just stay here for another year or two, but that seems like a stupid idea.

The fields around you house sound great! We are looking at a building (well, maybe it is 6 stores) tomorrow in an estate, but the common fees are 800euros a month. I just realized that. I find that crazy. In the Hague the common fees for a similarly priced building are 145 e per month. Yeah, I told my hubby we have to decide what we can live without.

I ordered supplements and should have them for this Saturday. I just think I should be able to do this on my own, but it isn't working. I am not giving up hope though, and you are right about just plain avoiding alcohol entirely. Don't take the first sip and you stay out of trouble. If I give up then I give up on myself and I am not doing that. Thanks for your reply!

[Lavande]

af Thursday 16 May

Good morning Abbers,

Thanks for the startup TT!
Hope your day went well.

Mick - loved the lab report & cat scan :H:H
I never had a cholesterol problem until I turned 50! What a magical age, huh? Almost everything went to hell all at once. My level is not so high as to require medication - I wouldn't want it anyway. I have managed it by including lots oatmeal & barley in my diet, consuming less meat & eliminating dairy (for other reasons). I've also had some success in the past taking a supplement called Red Yeast Rice - that really, really shocked the healthcare folks! Exercise as able, of course. I am also due to have blood drawn & should try to get that scheduled for next week.

bear, focus on one thing at a time
You've run into trouble in the past trying to make too many changes all at once - no one can do that. Make your sobriety #1, the rest will follow

LTLW, good luck with house hunting - I don't envy you.

Mick, your garden pics look fabulous!
You are way ahead of us on this side of the pond. Say HI to your bunnies for me!

Greetings to everyone & wishes for a great AF Thursday!
Lav

[porqoui]

af Thursday 16 May

MAE ALL...

Although I had a better sleep last night I seem to be in an "Overwhelming State of Mind" ATM. Not sure what's going on but trying to post this morning is turning out to be a big effort. :upset:

Didn't feel I could do my MWO Family justice so was going to wait, until I saw this and thought of Lav, and had to post it. Hopefully my day will improve and I will defo check in later.

[YoungAtHeart]

af Thursday 16 May

That is really adorable, PPQP. You need a few "P's" coming back to you? I'll send a bunch right now.

Thanks for the good vibes, Mick. A colleague just called and said she has sent someone my way, so hopefully, the clients will call soon.

I hope you can sort out the cholesterol without having to resort to medication, since it messes with you so much.

I live in a row house, too, but I don't have nearly the land that you do; my back yard is more like an over-sized postage stamp, so I'm envious. You have done such nice things with your back yard, and I love the mini greenhouses you have for some of your plants to keep them cozy.

bear, it is good to remind yourself of how much you paid for booze when you think about the expense of supplements. I'm glad you are doing that. I hope they help with your general well-being as well as with cravings. I hope your knee is feeling better soon.

Winter, living in a row house is so dependent on your neighbors and whether they have small children. I don't hear anything from my neighbors, but they are either childless or their children are teens and going places or on their computers at home. Even young kids are rarely just out playing like we used to be as kids. I live in a cul-de-sac, too, so it is considerably more private. Just be careful and think it through before you commit.

Oh, and many of us think of booze from time to time. I felt like drinking yesterday. I was pissed off, frustrated, and lonely, and it just crossed my mind. I recognized it for the self-defeating thought it was and banished it. It was just momentary. Sometimes when we are really stressed, those thoughts will come, no matter how much sobriety we have. That is why we can never be totally complacent. Eating something or a good nap will accomplish more than a drink ever could, and without the guilt and shame.

Morning, Lav! Did you get any storms last night? We had a lovely little thunderstorm, and it was just right. I hope you have a great day.

Anyway, just checking in. No drinking thoughts today. Just thinking of things I can do to get my practice moving. I joined a peer supervision group that meets on Mondays, and I'm looking forward to that.

Have a good day to all to come and thanks for all the support.

:l
YahYah

[learningtolovewinter]

af Thursday 16 May

Thanks for the input on living in a row house guys!


It sounds terrible to say 'I don't want to live near families with small children,' I am a teacher after all, but..... How to put this in a nice way?

Okay, so my reason for not drinking today is: To avoid unnecessary anxiety.
Drinking ends up making me hyper. Today I want to be calm.

I think that works!

[Determinator]

af Thursday 16 May

hidy ho ABeroooos!

Mick, the good news is that blood cholesterol (even LDL) is almost completely irrelevant to heart disease. what you will want to look for is a lipoprotein particle count which your doc should be able to arrange. if you want more technical info I'm always game for a PM.

Bear, not to add to your supplement bill, but I'd highly recommend magnesium supplements. they are super for nerve health especially critical in early sobriety days.

thankfully no cravings for booze here. I did cave and eat some crap while visiting with folks in Florida, but it's back in the paleo cave here and riding bicycle with Dx is coming along great until the left pedal on my bike fell off yesterday. d-oh! must get that fixed today.

zoom zoom....

be well everyone

[YoungAtHeart]

af Thursday 16 May

Glad to hear that you are back on track, Det. I'll bet you get that pedal fixed soon!

Winter, my tolerance for infants and toddlers began about 2 years before I got pregnant and ended when my daughter was about 8. :H I knew I was in serious trouble in my late 20's when shrieking toddlers started looking cute to me. I love individual children that I know, but I really do treasure peace and quiet, which is the total opposite of what you get with children. Even though I mostly enjoyed my daughter's teen years, I remember when she was laughing and hollering with her friends up in her room. "God, how did my parents survive me?" I would think, remembering how my friends and I would do the exact same thing. Ugh! You don't have to apologize. If you have the patience to teach, bless you! You're doing a good thing.

Okay, off to my greatly reduced work day. :upset: