Thurs af 30 May

[treetops]

Quick hand around of some bloody fine coffee - or morning all (afternoon, evening) - doing the dash to work , home etc thing but very sorry Mick about your loss. I had a cousin who died of cirrosis (can't spell - help Kuya!!) - she never drank at all but thats not the point....

To those of our friends here - please take your sobriety seriously. I keep repeating it but liver disease is terrible and it creeps up. And it hits women much much faster than men esp if they are alkies. Those who know me here - know that I take this to heart.

I had a very busy day yesterday and had to deal with a load of shit from other people. I am thankful that I dealt with this sober and also that I have loved ones around me. I am not letting that go!!!
Got to go an kick a_ _e - as you Americans coined the phrase

Be good folks and stay away from the poison!!!

[TheSunFlower]

Thurs af 30 May

TT it is important to take your sobriety seriously. And a good reminder....as my mind was taking in all the drinking "catch phrases" at work today. I remind myself that people say these things...but, for most part....never have a drink that night, much less drink themselves silly.

Not checking in as much. The last two days I have been dealing with an infection. I will leave out the gory details....but, it has not been pleasant. I have forced myself to go to work.

Tonight I went "Celebrate Recovery".....I really love it. But, in no way is it for everybody. However, it resonates with me and what I have been looking for. I did not stay for the small group part, due to the infection becoming rather painful.

YAH....I have never worked from home. But, if you have an unused room to put your practice in....go for it! I wish I had one. Due to husband's business....we can always write off part of the house....and get a nice check back....for what we would be paying for anyways.

Also....I saw Loretta Lynn. I did not have high expections because she is 82. She put on the best show I have ever seen and I plan to go to her Labor Day concert.

Mick.....I am sorry about your loss. I think it is hard because we all know there is a way out.....but, we all know it is hard to find.

[Mick]

Thurs af 30 May

MAE....everyone how is the world today then? thank you all for your kind thoughts...off to York on me travels this morning so cant be too long got to get through the Leeds traffic..fingers crossedthis post doesnt disappear!
Tea n coffee ...and porridge ..yes porridge on the go this morning

Evening TT Hows you ? had a busy day kicking ass?Definitely echo your sentiments..it aint a game or a phase we are going through its for real..have a great evening.

Hi SF glad to "seeyou" hope the dreaded lurgy has gone ..whatever it was!!

Morning La..hows you today? can you send some of that heat over here ?struggling a wee bit today nae big yellow thing in the sky...mind you it is only 5.50 am!!wakey wakey ..one coffee...so the mulch pile is going down..you moving it ....or is the wind blowing it??:H hae a good one

Cinders morning to you..hows you today...lets see if we can keep the post going without it crashing...all respect to you.

When I quit this last time, it was with full on "I do not care what happens, I will not drink." Zero tolerance :goodjob:

with that attitude you will not fail..dont know about your domestic issues..but hope they all work out ..and yes you are right..all you can do is wait and support ...like we are for you :l

Morning to a rain soaked ppqp ..hows you today?warm coffee here for you...glad the garden plots are still alive....any plans for today...apart from drying out from the rain?

YAH....and hows you today? yep sure know what you mean about farting around on the computer!! time just flies by ...thanks for your thoughts...you any plans for today?

Hiy Kuya...hows you mate? thanks for your post....lets get rid of those cigs lets put a plan together mate...if I can help you know I will :l

Morgen ltlw..hows you today?any plans for the day?you still got the mad neighbour /workmen scenario going on?..as for getting lost thats easy..I can do that on a roundabout!!

Morning bear..n hows you today?you feeling any better?hope so

Flyaway nice to"see" you hows things?
right folks gotta go..have a god one...stay safe n sober
CYA

Wilson runs a nail factory and decides his business needs a bit of advertising. He has a chat with a friend who works in marketing and he offers to make a TV ad for Wilson's Nails.
"Give me a week," says the friend, "and I'll be back with a tape."
A week goes by and the marketing executive comes to see Wilson. He puts a cassette in the video and presses play. A Roman soldier is busy nailing Jesus to the cross. He turns to face the camera and says with a grin "Use Wilson's Nails, they'll hold anything."
Wilson goes mad shouting: "What is the matter with you? They'll never show that on TV. Give it another try, but no more Romans crucifying Jesus!"
Another week goes by and the marketing man comes back to see Wilson with another tape. He puts it in the machine and hits play. This time the camera pans out from a Roman standing with his arms folded to show Jesus on the cross. The Roman looks up at him and says 'Wilson's Nails, they'll hold anything'.
Wilson is beside himself. "You don't understand: I don't want anything with Jesus on the cross! Now listen, I'll give you one last chance. Come back in a week with an advertisement that I can broadcast."
A week passes and Wilson waits impatiently. The marketing executive arrives and puts on the new video. A naked man with long hair, gasping for breath, is running across a field. About a dozen Roman soldiers come over the hill, hot on his trail. One of them turns to camera and says 'If only we had used Wilson's Nails!'.

What's the difference between a soldier and a teacher?

As a soldier, it is your job to kill people.
As a teacher, it is your job to try very hard not to kill people.

He forgot his 20th wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!!"
The next morning Jim got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.
Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Jim has been missing since Friday.

A ship is going down in the middle of Atlantic. There's no hope, the captain is desperate, and suddenly someone tells him that among the passengers, there's a rabbi who can perform miracles.
The rabbi is immediately brought to the captain, and he implores him:
-- Rabbi, what can be done?!
-- Do you still have the internet connection?
-- Yes!
-- Sell the ship!


Last night a hypnotist convinced me I was a soft, malleable metal with an atomic number of 82...

...I'm easily lead

Couldn't get into the library the other day..

... it was fully booked.

What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu?

If you have Bird Flu, you need tweetment. If you have Swine Flu, you need oink-ment.

Scientists have finally discovered the secret of longevity of hedgehogs

...It turns out, there is no secret. They don't even live that long.


I'd want a burglar to break into my house
I'll help them look for money.

What has 3 teeth and 100 legs

An unemployment line in Tennessee.

Me: My grandpa knew the exact time, day and year he was going to die!
Teacher: What an evolved soul? How'd he know?
Me: The judge told him.

Back in my day you used to be able to go to the store with five cents and get a loaf of bread, a bag of lollies, a sack of potatoes and a gallon of milk

Can't do that anymore, too many bloody surveillance cameras.

So there was a cat in the neighborhood that was always telling other cats that he was better than them because he had 16 lives, it was like this for 5 months, daily, he didn't miss one day to bitch around. Then, one sunday he doesn't shows up and all the other cats are getting worried about it until one of them comes and tell them: ''Hey guys, do you remember this new human that moved in yesterday? Well, he drives a 4x4...''

Three wise men arrived to visit the child lying in the manger...

One of the wise men was exceptionally tall and bumped his head on the low doorway as he entered the stable. "Jesus Christ" he exclaimed.
Joseph said: "Write that down, Mary. It's better than Wayne."

A man is walking past the mental hospital

through the board fence he hears the nuts inside chanting, thirteen...thirteen...thirteen. Curious, peeks through a knot hole and someone pokes him in the eye! As he jumps back in pain he hears the nuts start chanting, fourteen...fourteen...fourteen.

As they are walking through the jungle, the mouse falls in a hole, and yells up to the elephant, "Mr. Elephant! Mr. Elephant! I need your help!" The elephant lowers his penis into the hole, and the mouse scurries up and gets out of the hole.
They continue walking through the jungle, when the elephant falls into a hole. The elephant yells, "Mr. Mouse! Mr. Mouse! I need your help!" The mouse runs all the way through the jungle into town, gets in his Rolls Royce, drives back into the jungle, ties a rope to the car, throws it down to the elephant, and pulls the elephant out of the hole.
Moral of the story?
If you've got a Rolls Royce, you don't need a big dick.

What did the Mexican firefighter name his 2 sons

Jose and Josb

[bear73]

Thurs af 30 May

morning treetops - morning Mick - so sorry to hear about you cousin.Certainly puts things into perspective.

I don't know who said 'repeated relapse causes repeated relapse' - that is so true - for me with weight,smoking,exercise,cleaning, alcohol....I struggle to get a healthy routine going and to keep it up if I do. I don't know if I get things out of proportion, worry too much so I have such a high level of anxiety that I talk myself into drinking.

I tell myself 'i haven't got together my routine before' so each day i am due to go to gym for example, or go out socially the voice tells me ' you've failed before,you keep failing'.I pester myself all day/few days leading up to it ' you've got to do it,got to do it, got to do it'.

Sorry for rambling.... it helps me to get this down, to see in black and white. I guess what I'd say to someone else with this thinking is ' does this help you', 'how about just focusing on today','talk to yourself like your best friend'.

I'm still feeling really anxious about work, not confident in what I am doing and feeling everyone is so much better/knows so much more. I need to speak to staff member again re noise,inappropriate comments in office - seen by senior manager.

I'm so worried - in last job I managed someone who was borderline bullying me,and could be incredibly rude and difficult. I'm so scared of upsetting someone, being seen as not being capable of managing the team.I'm just scared and worried and I need to get a handle on it - I knew some of my previous anxiety was about me - the work environment was awful BUT I want to change how I handle stress/worry.
Was considering counselling again or maybe hypnotherapy.Anyway - shower time.

[treetops]

Thurs af 30 May

bear73;1512646 wrote:
I don't know who said 'repeated relapse causes repeated relapse' - that is so true - for me with weight,smoking,exercise,cleaning, alcohol....I struggle to get a healthy routine going and to keep it up if I do. I don't know if I get things out of proportion, worry too much so I have such a high level of anxiety that I talk myself into drinking.

Hiya Bear - thinking about what you said. Let's get this in perspective. It may not be what you mean (so advance apologies) - but let's consider it.
Thats a weird list - you have cleaning in there. Cleaning? Seriously - is this such a major priority as your sobriety?
Weight? - Yes thats important but give a good period of sobriety a good first.
Same goes with smoking. Why deal with two addictions at the same time? Some can (like Lavande) but many can't. What's most important to you right now?
Exercise - again important - but is it more important at the moment than your sobriety? It seems to me that you try to do it all - in one day - and then get overwhelmed and say f..K it.
Hey - you didn't mention a garden!!!:H or the mulch :H
I am saying this because I am a bit like that. But at some point I had to prioritise and may my abstinence the no.1 goal. I was able to choose to keep on at my job and be with my family - but I knew that if I didn't go all out to be AF - I could jeopardise my career and loose the ones I love. And thats not even getting to my rapidly deteriorating internal physical health.
So give yourself a break and pat yourself for the days you were AF and especially on the days when you really craved a drink. You sound to me like someone who will have a fun life - AF - so go to it. Just do it in steps and don't try to be Wonderwoman!!!
All said here with lots of support and hugs :h

[kuya]

Thurs af 30 May

MAE all,

Thanks for the support Mick. And BTW sorry to hear about your loss.

LTLW ....as TT said, take this seriously, also come here and scream for help. I have joined a smoking quit forum to do just that ( my day is your night in a lot of cases and my triggers are the day not the evening unlike drinking)

Other than the nicotine battle all is well.

Thanks for the jokes Mick....it took me forever to figure the 4x4 one Derrr! :H

[Cinders]

Thurs af 30 May

Hi friends,

Mick, thanks for the smiles. I hope your day doesn't get too crazy with all the running around.

Bear, I have to agree with TT. I agreed with her before I even saw her post. I was going to say pretty much the same thing. It looks like you set multiple goals and if you falter with even one you are a failure. I certainly could not keep up with all the goals you have set for yourself.

Why don't you sit down and calmly examine all your goals? Like TT said, sobriety MUST be number one. Period. I heard this in rehab over and over. Without sobriety, none of the other matter and cannot be attained anyway.

Prioritize your goals.

I think counseling would be very helpful if you get the right counselor. Anxiety is not helpful when you are trying to get and stay sober. I, too, suffer anxiety. I have had a couple of mild panic attacks since I became sober. Luckily, I decided this last quit that I would get through life sober, no matter what, so when I experienced the attacks, I knew that drinking was not something I could turn to. I also discovered that living through the attacks without alcohol to medicate showed that I could actually do it and I did not die.

If you go to counseling, you also need to discuss your self-esteem issues and how to turn that around. One good thing AA has taught me and I work very hard at keeping in mind is that it is none of my business what other people think of me. The only person I can control is me. As long as I am doing the best I can do and doing the right things, that is all I can do.

Geez, I am sitting here writing a tome. I apologize.

I hope at least a bit of what I wrote helps you, Bear.

TT, keep on keeping on. You are doing so well and I have to believe that in time your body will respond positively to your lifestyle changes.

Hubby goes to doctor today for follow up. I am hoping that the doctor clears him to go back to work. I need to get him out of the house for at least a couple hours a day. He is a wonderful man and I love him dearly but he drives me crazy when he is around constantly. I haven't had so much advice on how to do every little thing in years.

He does seem much better and his pain is very minimal. I am so grateful that we discovered this before it became more dangerous than it was. I could have lost him. This incident sure changed my perspective on my priorities.

Hope all to come are well.

Love,
Cindi

[Cinders]

Thurs af 30 May

Xpost, Kuya!!

btw, please explain the 4X4 one. I have puzzled on it and am lost.

Cindi

[Lavande]

Thurs af 30 May

Good morning Abbers,

Thanks for the startup TT. Ass kicking is an American specialty? I didn't realize that :H :H

Hi SF! Is Celebrate Recovery a face to face group? If you like going that great!
Hope you feel better very soon.

Mick, travel safely today!
I'm driving an hour to go meet up with my daughter & grandaughter for the day. I'd gladly send you the 92 degree humid weather if I could. No mulching until the weather cools off again

bear, I see you repeating your old patterns here!
You are a lot like me ~ we are our own worst critics & enemies!!!!!!
I had to learn to be kinder & gentler with myself. The good news is you can learn, I did.
The negative self-talk has to stop so you can move forward!
Investing in some hypnotherapy just may be the way to go. I used the MWO CDs nightly for a good year or more. Just before I joined MWO I did an online program called Habit Busting & it really help.
Negative thinking is a learned habit & you can change that
#1 priority is your sobriety so put everything else aside. One monumental change at a time in your life is enough.

Greetings kuya & Cindi!
Did you join QuitNet kuya? I've been on there since my smoking quit.
Cindi, I really hope your husband continues to recover & gets back to work very soon. Mine has been out on his own adventure for the past three years & I am able to change light bulbs without direction :H Yeah, he called me bossy :H

Have a great AF Thursday everyone!
Lav

[porqoui]

Thurs af 30 May

MAE ALL...

TT...thanks for the kickoff and the bloody fine coffee. :H There's been unrest at work lately and with the boss on holidays people are voicing their opinions even louder. I am grateful for my attitude of "what will be will be" and that I have my own office to hide in!

SF...I've noticed that too. People throw out those drinking catch phrases and I know they don't even drink. Goes to show you how much drinking is a part of our culture. Hope the infection clears up sooner than later.

Mick...forget about the post, fingers crossed for your road trip to Leeds. Can hardly wait to see your post tomorrow and what new adventure the road brought. I would love some porridge this morning, one of my favorite comfort foods and with this weather very appropriate. Hiding in my office again today, I do get a lot of work done that way. Safe travels.

Bear...focusing on just today was hard for me too but once you get the hang of it life gets easier. I like the idea of hynotherapy as it's something you can do right now, well once you get the tapes, and don't have to wait every week to see a therapist. Just taking a positive step to dealing with things will help. Hang in there.

KY...glad all is well and you'll conquer those niccotine battles one day at a time. Anymore research on dates/relapses? Done any comparisons between AF & SF cravings?

Cinders...fingers crossed hubby gets his marching orders today. The saying can't live with them and can't live without them comes to mind. As far as the joke goes, try thinking of the math equation 4x4=16. Does that help?

Lav...enjoy your day out, you deserve it. Let's see, can't move the mulch-too hot, can't move the mulch-too wet, do I see a pattern here :H

Time for my second cuppa and maybe a pop over to the Army thread. Have a great AF Thursday all and all to come....PPQP

[bear73]

Thurs af 30 May

thanks everyone, TT, Cindi, Lav, Pourquoi - it helped to see it written down and to get your input. Lav especially has seen me go round and round and round - and doing the same thing again and again!!

I am planning to buy some hypno cds and put on my i pod, I am also like you advise just going to concentrate on being AF (smoking automatically goes along with that as it is the only time I ever smoke).I'm so unhappy being overweight - BUT am I going to get fitter ans slimmer by binge drinking/recovery food/lack of exercise??I would guess not - I'm not getting slimmer now anyway - it's like cancelling a gym membership that i am not using - it's saying that i am going to stop trying for now.That doesn't sit easy with me but I know it's what I need to do,

I think i also struggle about putting AF first as i haven't had the really really awful stuff YET - those around me don't see me as having a problem(and for a people pleaser like me that's killer).The thing is alcohol makes me more anxious, more depressed,fatter, i have failed to get fit, put on weight, injured myself in the past, had days off work in the past due to hangovers,wasted tonnes of money and time, and i can't stick to the healthy govt alcohol limits for more than a week without a big struggle - and i always want to get blasted. I think I'd need to wait until i get a bid problem for those around me to accept it as a problem e.g. lost job,licence,health issue - do i want to wait for that? I may not be able to come back from that. I still feel ambivalent tho i know that i am happier/healthier af - do you just do it and wait for your heart to catch up?catch 22 this fully committing business - do you do the committing actions and wait for your wishes to catch up?I KNOW I should stop now deep down - part of me enjoys it - I guess that is addiction isn't it - carrying on with something that is bad for you and feeling torn for a bit? I am committed to one day at a time - forever scares me.

[bear73]

Thurs af 30 May

thanks everyone, TT, Cindi, Lav, Pourquoi - it helped to see it written down and to get your input. Lav especially has seen me go round and round and round - and doing the same thing again and again!!

I am planning to buy some hypno cds and put on my i pod, I am also like you advise just going to concentrate on being AF (smoking automatically goes along with that as it is the only time I ever smoke).I'm so unhappy being overweight - BUT am I going to get fitter ans slimmer by binge drinking/recovery food/lack of exercise??I would guess not - I'm not getting slimmer now anyway - it's like cancelling a gym membership that i am not using - it's saying that i am going to stop trying for now.That doesn't sit easy with me but I know it's what I need to do,

I think i also struggle about putting AF first as i haven't had the really really awful stuff YET - those around me don't see me as having a problem(and for a people pleaser like me that's killer).The thing is alcohol makes me more anxious, more depressed,fatter, i have failed to get fit, put on weight, injured myself in the past, had days off work in the past due to hangovers,wasted tonnes of money and time, and i can't stick to the healthy govt alcohol limits for more than a week without a big struggle - and i always want to get blasted. I think I'd need to wait until i get a bid problem for those around me to accept it as a problem e.g. lost job,licence,health issue - do i want to wait for that? I may not be able to come back from that. I still feel ambivalent tho i know that i am happier/healthier af - do you just do it and wait for your heart to catch up?catch 22 this fully committing business - do you do the committing actions and wait for your wishes to catch up?I KNOW I should stop now deep down - part of me enjoys it - I guess that is addiction isn't it - carrying on with something that is bad for you and feeling torn for a bit? I am committed to one day at a time - forever scares me.

[YoungAtHeart]

Thurs af 30 May

Hey bear, the amazing thing about quitting forever is that it still must be one day at a time. If we are REALLY trying our best, it is amazing what we can accomplish. I couldn't think about forever at first, it was too damn scary. But I do think that the further away from alcohol you get, the easier it does become to imagine an AF life. I have an event coming up at the end of June where I know there will be temptation to drink, so I will have to put on my big girl pants and really be vigilant (and for about a week or two afterwards, as well).

Really, try not to worry about the weight for now. Many people do need to allow themselves a bit of sugar and/or treats at first. The most helpful thing for me in getting a handle on cravings was getting a good dinner IMMEDIATELY upon coming home from work. After a few glasses of wine, who cares about cooking?

Anyway, I am wishing you all the best. If you really do your best, you will succeed. And you will never fail unless you stop trying. :l

[Lavande]

Thurs af 30 May

Amen to that YahYah ~ you're not a loser until you quit trying

Bear - YES, JUST DO IT!!!!
Take that leap I mentioned & believe me the thinking & everything else will catch up!
Make the commitment & then just do it. You will never ever be sorry, I promise you that

PQ, I think you have my number re the mulch pile :H :H
Can you really blame me?

[TheSunFlower]

Thurs af 30 May

Mick...I am on the mend. Nothing serious, just painful. They did give me pain meds....which I have not taken. I think for me the biggest change in my thinking was...."I am going to try" to "I will do this". When I "try" at things I am already setting myself up for failure...because I left the door open.

Bear....I don't think there is anyone of us who has not experienced what you are going through. If you focus on sobriety the rest will follow. And I can say.....after awhile...whatever the problem....drinking no longer looks like a good solution. You have to walk through it. Sometimes it will feel like it so much easier to pick up a drink....only to be reminded time again....that fixed nothing. In my case it usually caused more problems than the one I was dealing with. Anxiety is always about "me". From what you said you are worried about "what others think of you"...what about what you think of you? You are doing the best job that you can....and that is all anyone can really ask of you.

Kuya....quitting smoking is so hard. I recently read that don't allow the fact that you quit drinking to give you permission to indulge in other unhealthy habits. I have done this in the past....the first time I gave up drinking....I smoked like there was no tomorrow. I also, ate whatever I wanted. I gave up booze, so I can have this extra large milkshake. I think in the beginning it is ok.....but, deep down...I knew it was not ok.

Lav-"Celebrate Recovery" is really for people dealing with multiple issues. One guy said...'I deal with being an alkie, pride and self-esteem". I get something out of it that I never found in AA....because AL was not my only issue. But, it is a mix of the Bible and the 12 Steps and not for everyone. And integrates it together....vs. "stop drinking"....then lets work on the rest. All the rest of my crap is why I drank and relapsed so many times. All the Bible quotes are the uplifting ones....and mixed in with good Southern music. I am blessed to live in "Music City...so its a pretty rocking place to be.

PP-man the catch phrases. People say them and I really have to put them in perspective. My mind triggers to thinking someone else is going to have a drink...."oh wait....I don't drink damn". Those people say things as a release....but, never really act on them. I always acted on them.

Doing good here....feeling better. And still sober