Jazzy June ~ Week 1

[Persephone1]

Jazzy June ~ Week 1

Hi Lovelies, I really wasn't trying to be secretive, just a lot to ponder and put into words.

I'm going to share what I wrote to Siren in the House of G, as it really relates to what I want to 'discuss' with you all...

Persephone1;1515582 wrote:
I am SO sorry you are struggling with the shifts in your personal life. Perhaps you can use this time to redefine things? It is really awesome that you are doing this sober ~ won't be regretted, I promise!

Its funny, when I look at pictures of myself throughout my life, it always occurs to me how many lifetimes within our lifetimes we have. I was a totally different being when I was 18, 28, even 38...There is no contract that we must stick to a particular 'role' (remember my bonfire idea?). Life processes are cyclical (birth, life, & death so to speak) and we have the option to constantly transform with it, if we want to. Not to say it is easy!

If you want to stop being the one who holds the world on your shoulders & let others carry you for a while, you can do that. The people who truly love you will support you NO MATTER WHAT Siren. Have you read or watched Eat, Pray, Love? My last relationship took a loooong time to end. That movie really helped me process that whole ordeal.

I hope you will keep reaching out and letting us love you thru this transition. You are very dear & cared for, you know that right? Please try to be gentle with yourself. I will PM my phone number just in case you ever need to connect ~ stat! :soothe:

I am coming out of a really difficult, long term relationship and I feel super wounded. Part of the wounding is actually knowing that I was a partner in such a toxic disaster. It really brought out the worst in me and I think vice~versa. I am ashamed of myself on so many levels. This has caused me to really re~evaluate mySelf, my beliefs, my choices, what I have done with my life and where I want to go from here.

This is very painful and difficult to examine, but now that I have some sober time ~ I want to ~ need to. I don't really have safe people in my everyday life who understand. I want to genuinely heal, finally. I mean, this is the core level stuff that drinking to excess keeps us from getting to. I just kept hiding out and staying stuck.

Love to hear your thoughts, stories of your similar (or not!) instances, idea/ls, etc…And thanks for letting me ramble on ~ I know, this isn't a comfortable topic, sorry.

Also, sorry I didn't address everyone's day, I will read back and catch myself up & respond accordingly.

XOXOXO, P.

[Stargazerlily]

Jazzy June ~ Week 1

Good morning to all...

Wow, Persephone, what a great post. We ARE different people throughout our lives, I know I have been. It is within our power to change and decide how we will live. That is why I love this site and thread, it is about change and daily life. The choices we make daily, health and wholeness, or alcohol and misery.

I loved the story of Eat, Pray, Love, it was a story of facing fears, making hard choices, and recreating a life. Sometimes the hardest thing to do is forgive ourself, for our choices and mistakes. We are human, we don't know, but then we do know,and can make changes. The path of change is never straight, one step forward, two steps back, but moving forward is the important thing, not remaining stagnant or moving backward. Learning, learning, learning. That is the beauty of growning older, wisdom and knowledge, experience, knowing what matters. Not stuff, not what other people thing, but facing ourselves with honesty. And Love, loving ourselves and others.

Rusty, how lovely to have this husband tell you of his journey, and the family history. Thanks for sharing. I did not realize both your parents had cancer too. It is very difficult and scary. I go up and down with the moods, it is better to keep on with normal life. I just feel exhausted at times.

Dill, you are fancy free. Hope you are able to enjoy.

Lav, did the cooler weather hit? We are a close knit family.

Pap, you sound good, hi!

Siren, sorry you are going through a hard time, that is part of the AF journey, getting through good and bad times, but it is different when you have all your wits about you, AF.

Dad is having another surgery today, phone tree set up, nothing I can do but get through it and pray, sending positive energy.

[Lavande]

Jazzy June ~ Week 1

Good morning June friends

Yes, the nice weather has arrived, yay!
As a matter of fact, I am meeting my girls at Longwood gardens today to spend some quality time outside with them

Star, I'll be thinking of you & your dad today. I hope all goes well for him. These are the times when it's serves us to remember that we just cannot control some things yet we can control how we choose to handle ourselves.

Siren & Perse, I really do feel for both of you right now :l
My husband of 37 years burst into tears 3 years ago & took off without a word of explanation. It had nothing whatsoever to do with me, he simply couldn't fight his demons anymore. We are still married but living apart. I urged him to remain part of this wonderful family we created. I'm hurt by his actions & choices but I remain firm in my quits & know that I am on the right path. I hope both of you know that you can remain true to yourselves & do what is best for each of you.

Wishing everyone a great AF Wednesday. Greetings Dill, Papmom, Rusty & all.
Lav

[witts end]

Jazzy June ~ Week 1

1 week done
look out week 2

[Lavande]

Jazzy June ~ Week 1

Good morning June Jazzers!

Congrats to you on 1 week AF witts end
That's terrfic work, you are doing great!

Nothing very exciting going on for me today so I will putz around & do what I can. Rain is on the way compliments of the season's first tropical storm, oh joy.

Wishing everyone a super AF Thursday!
Lav

[papmom3]

Jazzy June ~ Week 1

Hi All,
Sad day today. I'm waiting for the vet to open so I can bring Freddy in to be PTS. His rear became paralyzed late last nite and either he has also gone blind or he just can't pick his head up. It's time. Then I have to go into work because you know, its just a cat.

Star-I will be thinking of your dad and you today. I hope it all goes well. Hang in there.

Pers-so sorry to hear of your relationship troubles. As has been said, we have to stay true to ourselves and we deserve the best, even if it hurts at first. STay strong and stay here. We have very strong shoulders!!

Witt-congrats on week 1. You can do this!

Lav-have a blast at Longwood. You always have such a nice time and give us such yummy pics!!

Rusty-what a compliment to you that your friend's husband opened up to you about his addiction. He knows how great aperson you are!!

OK, time to call the vet. :upset:

[Lavande]

Jazzy June ~ Week 1

Aw Papmom, sorry about Freddy :l
Our pets are members of our family, it's hard to lose them. RIP Freddy :flower:

[bear73]

Jazzy June ~ Week 1

Papmom:l I don't usually read or post here but had to send that.
I have two old kitties,12 and 13 and an ex stray we have recently adopted.

Take care of yourself and sending you love and strength - pets are family and their unconditional love is so valuable to me.Your cat was lucky to have you xx

[witts end]

Jazzy June ~ Week 1

day 8 still here

[papmom3]

Jazzy June ~ Week 1

Thank you Bear and Lav for your condolences. I was pretty much a basket case on the way to work this morning. The vet half heartedly offered intensive medical intervention which I didn't consider for even a second. I think she was relieved. She definitely thought it was time. He went peacefully. I picked out a nice wooden urn that holds a picture and they are making a pawprint for me. I also had them clip off some of his fur for me to do something with. It feels weird tonite. I keep waiting for him to jump up on the bed. I don't know what will happen with my other kitty. They tolerated each other in a nice way but haven't been buddies since DD came into the pic because she isolated herself from the rest of us due to DD generally being an ass towards her. He loved Freddy tho.
Hopefully tonite I'll sleep. I didn't last nite.

[Lavande]

Jazzy June ~ Week 1

You'll all be OK papmom, I just know it

I've lost two pets in the last two years (plus a frog & numerous chickens). It's all about the circle of life, right?

[Persephone1]

Jazzy June ~ Week 1

Sending BIG :l to you Pap. I am so sorry. Our Critters are family for sure :h

Well done Witts End! Keep up the GrEaT work!

Love to you all and thanks for the support you've sent my way. Much appreciated. P.

[Stargazerlily]

Jazzy June ~ Week 1

Good morning to all...

Pap, so sorry about Freddy. It is really hard when we have to tell our pets goodbye. I know your pets mean so much to you, you are the best pet owner around.

Lav, the rain from the tropical storm looks heavy on the tv radar. I was hoping for rain all week, after planting, but it is dry. Of course on Sunday an 80% chance. I will be watering tonight. I am sure your yard looks great after all the work you completed. Longwood Gardens sounds so fun. Enjoy.

Pers, hope you are doing well, WittE, you are on a roll.

Lots of errands to run today, then outside for fun. I have been stuck inside all week working and want to enjoy June, the best month of the year in some ways. Not warm enough yet this weekend for pool time, so will finish up my mulching. It will look beautiful.

To all, have a great day.

[dill]

Jazzy June ~ Week 1

OK, I think this is it. Things are settling into somewhat of a rhythm around here so I should be able to become more active here on the thread. Thanks to all for my retirement well-wishes. My first day was rather uneventful: just the way I like it! The weather was absolutely gorgeous and in itself felt like the best retirment gift ever. Retirement will not be what I had envisioned, at least not for some time, but I am glad I have this time and space to help my son and grandchildren. It is not easy, but I do feel it's a special gift to have this time with them. The stability we have been able to offer has made a world of difference in the children's behavior. It's sad, but the less time they have with their mother, the more well-adjusted they are. She has not made a move to address her issues and until she does she is only allowed to be with them under supervision, never alone. Until she gets back into the outpatient care and gets right with her probation officer, this will not change. She has missed 2 probation mtgs and I have been lead to believe there is a warrant for her arrest because of it. What a mess. Her behavior leads me to believe she is actively using again. Or she has bipolar. It's been a lot of drama here on and off, which may expain to you my absence here.

:welcome:Siren, :welcome:WittsEnd, :welcome:bcp! Wonderful to have you join us!

Papmom, I am so very sorry for your loss. I know exactly how you must feel. That first night must have been so difficult. It will take time.:l

Star, I finished Caleb's Crossing. Such a wonderfully told story and so poignant. Thanks for recommending it. I'm starting out on a book called Divergent. It is actually a young adult fiction so I don't know yet if I can recommend it, but my students were excited about it and they are making a movie of the series so I thought it might be fun to read. I read the Hunger Games series for the same reason and really enjoyed those too. They are not anywhere near the league of Caleb's Crossing tho!

Lav, Pers, Cyn, Rusty, greetings to you too. I've run out of time here so will try to do better next time. I'm glad to be back!

[Lavande]

Jazzy June ~ Week 1

Good morning June friends,

Rain, rain & more rain today for sure!
I'm envisioning all those seeds I planted in my veggie garden doing the backstroke right about now :H Oh well!!!

Dill, I am very happy for you & hope retirement is good to you
Having your son & grandchildren so close will keep you on your toes, for sure!!
Do you know if your DIL has had a psych eval? If she was properly diagnosed & medicated perhaps her behavior would improve, she sounds unstable. I'm sure the kids will do fine under your guidance, they are lucky to have you in their lives

Papmom, hope today is a better day for you!
Get your rain coat & umbrella ready, seriously!

Star, I would be more than happy to send you 1/2 of this rain...maybe more
Enjoy your day!

Greetings Perse & everyone!
Have a great day all!

Lav