ok dokey lets see what everyones up to shall we ..tea and coffee on the go for everyone
"theres a brew for you the noo"
Evening TT and how are you? had a good day?hows the decorating mission going?any better?Ive got new fireplace tiles coming on Friday,you know the insert tiles for the cast iron fires? so looking forward to taking the surround out and replacing them..changing the whole theme to trees n woods and nature basically.Keep saying that I will take it easy today, but the wee voice no not the booze man keeps saying get on with it!!Gladyou are back to normal..in the nicest possible way!
Morning YAH...5 days to push then its a year for you! hows things with you today?all ok I hope.yep feeling fit..touch wood.Still doing my exercises for my arm...great incentive not to get chopped open !!Really hope you get some tenants for your property who are decent folk..and not dole -ites ..you deserve it ,youve put the work in.Glad you are picking up your own clients ..hang on that doesnt sound so clever but you know what I mean!!!
Hiya ppqp ..jolly holly time? what are you doing with yourself? where are you going?whatever it is enjoy it ..oh and have a coffee on me ..not literally!
Morning Lav..what a great way to start the day...toast and cartoons..we could all do with some of that!! well did you find anything to do yesterday outside?Im having another coffee..want one?
Cinders how are you today? apologies for the general thread yest and not by name, but just wanted to say glad you had a better day yesterday...Agree about the meds..I am down to high bp tabs only now too and feel lots better...dont think its your body reacting to sobriety ..would put money on the meds...good luck to ya.
Hiya ukblonde ..welcome to the madhouse..we are all nutsos here...bu with one sane and sensible focus....to kick al..so jump in n enjoy yourself...its not a trip or a journey but a lifechanging experience...if you so wish..anyway welcome to day 10 ...double numbers!!
Morning SF how are you today?I think its the quality of the sleep you have not the amount if that makes sense.
right peeps offski to do nothing ..yeh right!!
hand.
Teacher: Why are you late, Joseph?
Joseph: Because of a sign down the road.
Teacher: What does a sign have to do with your being late?
Joseph: The sign said, ?School Ahead, Go Slow!?
In a psychiatrist?s waiting room two patients are having a conversation. One says to the other, ?Why are you here??
The second answers, ?I?m Napoleon, so the doctor told me to come here.?
The first is curious and asks, ?How do you know that you?re Napoleon??
The second responds, ?God told me I was.?
At this point, a patient on the other side of the room shouts, ?NO I DIDN?T!?
So?after Adam was created, there he was in the Garden of Eden. Of course it wasn?t good for hime to be all by himself, so the Lord came down to visit.
?Adam,? He said, ?I have a plan to make you much, much happier. I?m going to give you a companion, a helpmate for you, someone who will fulfill your every need and desire. Someone who will be faithful, loving, and obedient. Someone who will make you feel wonderful every day of your life.?
Adam was stunned. ?That sounds incredible.?
?Well, it is,? replied the Lord. ?But it doesn?t come for free. In fact this is someone so special that it?s going to cost and arm and a leg.?
?That?s a pretty high price to pay,? said Adam. ?What can I get for a rib??
Wise Women
What would have happened if it had been three Wise Women instead of three Wise Men?
They would have asked directions, arrived on time, helped deliver the baby, cleaned the stable, made a casserole, and brought practical gifts.
But what would they have said when they left ??
Scroll down ?
?Did you see the sandals Mary was wearing with that gown??
?That baby doesn?t look anything like Joseph!?
?Can you believe that they let all of those disgusting animals in there!?
?I heard that Joseph isn?t even working right now!?
?And that donkey that they are riding has seen better days too!?
?Want to bet on how long it will take until you get your casserole dish back??
Apparently the computer giant IBM decided to have some parts manufactured in Japan as a trial project. In the specifications, they set out that they will accept three defective parts per 10,000.
When the delivery came in there was an accompanying letter. ?We, Japanese people, had a hard time understanding North American business practices. But the three defective parts per 10,000 have been separately manufactured and have been included in the consignment. Hope this pleases you.?
Mrs. Hunter was called to serve for jury duty, but asked to be excused because she didn?t believe in capital punishment and didn?t want her personal thoughts to prevent the trial from running its proper course.
But the public defender liked her thoughtfulness, and tried to convince her that she was appropriate to serve on the jury.
?Madam,? he explained, ?this is not a murder trial! It?s a simple civil lawsuit. A wife is bringing this case against her husband because he gambled away the $12,000 he had promised to use to remodel the kitchen for her birthday.?
?Well, okay,? agreed Mrs. Hunter, ?I?ll serve. I guess I could be wrong about capital punishment after all.?
An elderly man lay dying in his bed. In death?s agony, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookies wafting up the stairs. He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort forced himself down the stairs, gripping the railing with both hands. With labored breath, he leaned against the door-frame, gazing into the kitchen.
Were it not for death?s agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven: there, spread out upon racks on the kitchen table and counters were literally hundreds of his favorite chocolate chip cookies.
Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of heroic love from his devoted wife, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man? Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself toward the table, landing on his knees in a rumpled posture. His parched lips parted ? the wondrous taste of the cookie was already in his mouth, seemingly bringing him back to life.
?Stay out of those,? she said. ?They?re for the funeral.?
An elderly couple was on a cruise and it was really stormy. They were standing on the back of the boat watching the moon, when a wave came up and washed the old woman overboard. They searched for days and couldn?t find her, so the captain sent the old man back to shore with the promise that he would notify him as soon as they found something.
Three weeks went by and finally the old man got a fax from the boat. It read: ?Sir, sorry to inform you, we found your wife dead at the bottom of the ocean. We hauled her up to the deck and attached to her butt was an oyster and it had a pearl worth $50,000 ?..please advise?
The old man faxed back: ?Send me the pearl and re-bait the trap?
ok be honest...how many of you tried it? I did!!!
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