ok now that I started on a miserable note..lets have a joke..
A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline and his Personal Psychic Advisor tells him: ?You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you.? The frog is thrilled, ?This is great! Will I meet her at a party?? ?No,? says his Advisor, ?in her biology class.?
better..
well messed up big time moi...the tiles I was waiting for came yesterday....and they dont fit...the firplace is cast iron ,and everything is in imperial...nowadays everything is in metric, so insted of the rowbeing 5 tiles at 6 inches .they are 5 at 150 mm..big difference..fortunately the company had some old 6 inch tiles in storage so they are going to fire them for me..wont be till next week ,so put the old fireplace back in till then.oops!itll be reet when its done
Evening TT ..how are you feeling today? any better ? hope so..any plans for the weekend?
Hiya Cinders..well hows the kindle? is it fixable or is it off to kindleland?What you wish you could be like me? you mean suave debonair refined ,handsome and sophisticated?thought thats what you meant ..as opposed to bollox to this,move on!!:H
Hiya Lav ..hows you this morning? oho the end is nigh for this phase of extreme babysitting ..new series next week :H.Never mind the dog ..try the leccy collar on the Amish.watched a n episode of the breaking Amish in Florida..jeez its getting like a soap..all you need is Jeremy Kyle or Springer to jump out and the party is complete!!!Im going to make a brew ..do you want one?
Hiya Pauly ..how are you ? well did you get the peaches/donuts or both?
Hiya Det ..quick fly by that was ..how are you? weekend plans made?
SF...well done you on exit stage left when you felt uncomfortable..just reading your notes on the wine ad ..wow
Beer and wine are ok. No distilled liquor, it promotes al abuse.
thats kind of like the thinking its ok to smoke weed, but dont touch anything else, otherwise you will be a druggie!!
Can't have person holding a glass of wine, because it gives the viewer the impression the person is going to drink it.
Bit of a clue really ,wine, person people in ad..what do you think they are going to do with it?wash their feet?
Drink responsibly has to be in the ad, so the viewer thinks the store is looking out for their best interest.
hmm apart from the fact its bargain booze, 2 for 1!!
Don't drink and drive....needs to be in the commercial. (I could never drive and hold a beer at the same time anyways). I always thought it should be "Don't drink and then drive"....but then I guess no one would ever leave the bar
how right you are..wet lap time!!!always amazes me ..the message is dont drink and drive..so why are you allowed to have blood alcohol limits ..dont know about America..here it is 39 mg per 100ml
oh well
right its 11.35 time to get going have a great weekend
A lady is walking down the street to work and she sees a parrot in a pet store. The parrot says to her, ?Hey lady, you are really ugly.? Well, the lady is furious! And she storms past the store to her work. On the way home she saw the same parrot in the window and the parrot said to her, ?Hey lady, you are really ugly.? Well, she was incredibly ticked now. The next day see saw the same parrot and the parrot said to her, ?Hey lady, you are really ugly.? The lady was so ticked that she went into the store and said that she would sue the store and kill the bird. The store manager said, ?That?s not good.? and promised he wouldn?t say it again. When the lady walked past the store after work the parrot said to her, ?Hey lady.? She paused and said, ?Yes?? and the bird said, ?You know.?
If your wife comes out of the kitchen to whine at you,what have you usually done wrong?
Made her chain too long.
A man and woman where on their honeymoon after a long and very happy courtship. On their honeymoon, they decide to take their horses through the beautiful mountain passes of Europe. As the horses were crossing a small stream, the womans horse mis-steps and jostles the mans wife. Once across the stream, the man dismounts, walks over to the horse, and stares into its eyes. Finally, he states, ?Thats one.? The man remounts his horse and they continue their ride.A bit further down the path, the womans horse stumbles when stepping over a fallen tree. The man dismounts, stares the horse in the eyes, and boldly states, ?Thats two!? He returns to his saddle and they move on.As the afternoon sun began to set, the womans horse once again lost its footing on a mossy slope. The man dismounts, moves to the womans horse, and helps his wife out of the saddle the man. Moving to the front o f the horse he stares it in the eyes and firmly says, ?Thats three,? removes a pistol from his vest, and shots the horse dead.The woman, quite upset at seeing the beautiful horse killed, says to her husband, ?Thats terrible, why would you do such a thing!?The man stares at his wife and firmly says, ?Thats one!?
A young man called his mother and announced excitedly that he had just met the woman of his dreams. ?Now what should I do?? His mother has an idea. ?Why dont you send her flowers, and on the card invite her to your apartment for a home cooked meal?? He thought this was a great strategy, and a week later the woman came to dinner. His mother called the next day to see how things had gone. ? I was humiliated,? he groaned. ?She insisted on washing the dishes.? ? Whats wrong with that?? asked his mother. ? We hadnt started eating yet.?
Mrs. Culpepper was almost in tears. ?Oh Marie,? she said to her maid, ?I have reason to suspect that my husband is having an affair with his secretary.?"I dont believe it for one minute !? Marie snapped.?Youre just saying that to make me jealous !!!?
A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt.
Archaeologists believe it may be Pharaoh Rocher ?
Paddy was stood at a bus stop when Mick pulls up in his car,
''Do you wanna lift Paddy'',
so Paddy says ''no thanks Mick, I might miss my bus''
Nelson Mandela is sitting at home watching TV and drinking a beer when he hears a knock at the door. When he opens it, he's confronted by a little Chinese man, clutching a clip board and yelling,
"You Sign! You sign!" Behind him is an enormous truck full of car parts. Nelson is standing there in complete amazement, "I have not ordered this". The Chinese man looks very puzzled, consults his clipboard, and says, "You not Nissan Main Deala?"
Comment