October AA Thread

[Solitaire]

October AA Thread

Restless, Irritable and Discontent

I've been Restless, Irritable and Discontent for the last few days.
Nothing happened, I attend meetings, I see my sponsees, I'm in touch with my sponsor...

Don't get me wrong, I'm not going to drink today, the obsession had been lifted. There is no craving for booze, not even thoughts of the "relief" of getting drunk, but I do realize that in the past I would've been drinking for the World Cup when in this space/mood.

"Men and women drink essentially because they like the effect produced by alcohol. The sensation is so elusive that, while they admit it is injurious, they cannot after a time differentiate the true from the false. To them, their alcoholic life seems the only normal one. They are restless, irritable and discontented, unless they can again experience the sense of ease and comfort which comes at once by taking a few drinks-drinks which they see others taking with impunity".

Excerpts from "The Doctor's Opinion"

I went back and read P61.... Let go.... I am NOT the director....

Right now, I know all of that, I believe it, and yet, it is hard for me to live it...

Step3 Prayer:
"God, I offer myself to Thee--to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt.
Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will.
Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life.
May I do Thy will always!"

Hugs from Africa xxx

[retteacher]

October AA Thread

Sol:

I'm so glad you shared here. When I get into that restless, irritable, & discontented space in my head, I know there is something I have to do. It might be to rest, meditate, read the BB (as you did), or talk to someone. I ask myself if there is any unfinished business I have to attend to. I don't crave alcohol anymore, but I do have those moments when I remember how a drink gave me that "sense of ease." The problem w/me is that it was never one or two drinks. It was always many, many more.

I say the 3rd step prayer every day. I've managed to commit that & the 7th step prayer to memory. I find that if I do the next right thing that I have fulfilled the commitment of the 3rd step prayer. When I'm in that place that you are in, I try to remember that "this too shall pass."

Thanks for sharing. Mary

[Determinator]

October AA Thread

Sol good to see you! hopefully catch you on chat soon?

sometimes crap moods will just land on our heads for no good reason, sorry I don't have anything more intellectual, but that just seems the way we are made. thankfully 'this too shall pass' so long as we keep doing the right things.

tomorrow will be a fun day, I'll pick up my 6 month chip. yay! feels good to be back to that 1/2 year mark.

hugs Sol, Mary, Betty and anyone I'm missing lately here xxxxxxx

[retteacher]

October AA Thread

Deter: I congratulate you on the 6 month mark. It's significant for many reasons. Mainly, it shows real recovery mentally, physically, & spiritually.

As you know, I've had a checkered past & have had some setbacks. However, I would never have stopped trying, as I know how miserable my drinking life was. Sometimes I hear people say that they have "another drunk in them but not another recovery." I can't let myself feel that way. I certainly pray I won't relapse, but if I ever did, I'd want to know that I could start my program again.

Take care & good luck. You deserve that half-year chip. You earned it. Mary

[retteacher]

October AA Thread

Everyone: The discussion meeting last night ended up on the topic of rigorous honesty. The drinking life didn't lend itself to honesty. Hiding & lying is what I had to do to drink the way I wanted to drink. So now, in sobriety, I have to learn how to be rigorously honest. That doesn't mean that I have to bare my soul to everyone. But I do feel obligated to be accurate & honest about what I choose to say...no exaggeration, no embellishments. It's so much easier this way. I don't wake up w/those awful feelings of guilt & remorse. Have a great day everyone. Mary

[Determinator]

October AA Thread

I concur Mary, the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

had a great meeting today. one of our homegroup got her year chip today which was so nice, she's so gracious and helpful in service.

building up my strength for a big tradeshow I'm taking off to in the morning. looks like they just extended it to 8 days straight. argh! serenity now!

[retteacher]

October AA Thread

Deter: Good luck! Remember that there are meetings everywhere! We're spending Feb. in TX w/our son & g-kids. I've already looked up the meetings there. Instant friendships. Mary

[sunshine_gg]

October AA Thread

Hello everyone,

Time for me to check in again - if you'll have me.
I went to my first AA meeting last night and it was a very positive experience. Should have done so a long time ago. I will be around more here as well.

Looking forward to kicking Alcohol to the curb once and for all.

[retteacher]

October AA Thread

sunshine: Of course we'll have you. I'm glad you found AA again. I had been trying to get sober for years & years, & MWO helped me. But, I really needed a fellowship/community to feel a part of. I needed face-to-face meetings where I was held accountable. I relapsed in 2012, & the hardest part of getting sober again was telling my AA groups/friends that I had slipped. That very humbling experience prevents me from going out again & trying to drink. I'm accepting the fact that I cannot drink like a normal person. Mary

[sunshine_gg]

October AA Thread

Thank you, Mary.

Yes, I agree. MWO has helped me tremendously. But, clearly, I also need more to succeed long term.

To be honest, I was horrified when 2 people I know very well (sort of extended family) walked in. If there had been a way to gracefully get up and leave, I probably would have. My first thought was that they must be there to support someone else or something. Turns out, that no, they've been coming to meetings for over 10 years.

I think most of my resentment about AA probably had to do with accepting that I am an alcoholic. Once you say it, you can't take it back.

I am feeling hopeful and good about learning how to cope from those, who have figured it out.

[retteacher]

October AA Thread

Sun: That exact experience has happened to me many times. People from my community whom I had no idea were alcoholics were there. I too wanted to flee. I've even seen former students (I'm a retired high school teacher) who come up to me after meetings & say: "You're an alcoholic???!!!" It's humbling, but I need that. I think HP puts these people in our lives to teach us to be completely ourselves. That said: I don't go around telling everyone that I'm an alcoholic. I maintain my anonymity in certain areas of my life. There are even members of my family that don't know I'm an alcoholic & member of AA. I drank alone & was very, very good at hiding it. My husband of 41 years was even surprised at the extent of my drinking. Long story: It took a very humiliating experience to bring the whole issue out of the closet. Anyhow, I digress. Take it easy. You're doing great! Mary

[Solitaire]

October AA Thread

Bellybutton today

Today is my 2nd sober bellybutton birthday.
As I reflect on the last year, I am filled with gratitude as I see the growth within...
It DOES get easier, the pay-offs are huge, quality of life is just so much better.
I am filled with compassion for those still in the grips of alcoholism...
Just for today, I will not have a drink!
Sober hugs from South Africa xxx

Solitaire (I am not alone anymore!)

[retteacher]

October AA Thread

Sol: Happy Birthday. Every holiday, every birthday, every special event is so different when celebrated sober. I too am so glad to be sober & have compassion for all those people who are still in the grips of alcoholism.

Sat. night we went to a dinner party where everyone had at least one glass of wine. I didn't feel the least out of place or envious of those who were drinking. I felt I didn't need anything in order to have a good time. I also noticed how moderately most people drank. That is not something I could ever do, so why even take a sip? No need. I got home at a reasonable hour & went to bed clear-headed. I like that.

Mary

[sunshine_gg]

October AA Thread

Hello there *insert regal wave*

Sol! :l
Errrmmm.. whazza belly button b-day??

Went to my 2nd meeting tonight. I didn't think I would, but I did end up introducing myself and say a few words (like 10)

It's weird (or not) that you (I) can relate to every single story there, even though the people in the room come from literally all walks of life and society. Weird. And comforting.

Have a good night, everyone.

[retteacher]

October AA Thread

Sun: Bill W., the founder of AA, wrote that AA is a society of "people who normally wouldn't mix." I'm a grandma w/my knitting needles sitting next to a tattooed biker dude at meetings...& enjoying his company. Regardless of how different someone's story is from mine, the allergy to alcohol & the obsession to it is what is common ground between us. That is what makes the AA program so powerful & successful.

Even saying a few words is good for you. You're letting people know who you are so that they can make you feel welcome. I was terribly nervous at my first meetings. I got to the meeting as late as I could wo/being completely late. I left right after the closing prayer. I was afraid to talk to anyone. But, people learned my name, & I began to feel a part of the program. I got a sponsor who told me to do some kind of simple service...helping clean up or set up or anything at all. I now have a home group, & when I go to meetings out of my area, I have an instant camaraderie w/the people at that meeting. You're doing great. Keep at it.

Mary