Onward October - Week 3

[Lavande]

Better late than never, huh? :H:
My son texted me at 8:15 this morning wondering if I could drop everything & watch Will for an hour or so starting at 9 :H:
So here I am, watching episode after episode of Thomas with the little guy! EB is in pre-K this year, he's busy. My son is driving a firetruck to the preschool for Fire Prevention week activities. I'm quite sure both the little kid & the big kid are having fun

We truly do have the ability to to direct our outlook on life, more than I ever thought possible.
It's also true what doesn't kill you makes you stronger!!!! I can certainly attest to that!!!
If/when I feel my mood starting to shift I now almost automatically know to turn up the gratitude thinking & it always helps.

OK, I need to hand the iPad over to the little guy as promised.
Cyn, good to see you, please take care of yourself!
Wishing everyone a great AF Hump day.

Lav

[dill]

Onward October - Week 3

Lav, thanks for starting week 3! I like thinking about your son taking the truck over to the preschool. I remember how much the preschoolers LOVED it when the fire fighters would come to our school. There was always one that was scared to death of them tho!LOL

Star, I don't plan on leaving the thread any time soon. I like touching base with you and will just hang with you keeping the home fires burning. :h I had never read any of Frankl's books. You are such a reader!!! Anyway, since you mentioned his life story, I went ahead and put a hold on an audio book authored by him. I learn so much from you and others on this thread!

Cyn, your part-time job sounds like it might be more than you expected. Take care of yourself and don't get over wrought. I guess I didn't know you were on bac. I'm glad it helps you.

Also, I know some of our previous threadmates and visitors who are not AF 100% of the time do not feel comfortable posting on our thread, and that's kind of sad. We lose a lot of people that way.

Rusty, I truly wish people would feel welcome here even if they are still struggling and not able to maintain complete AFness.

My first day at the food pantry was really great! I think I'll enjoy helping there. They are changing over to a computerized system and many of the volunteers are older and don't feel comfortable with computers. So I think I can be a good help because I am comfortable with computers.

Is it Hump Day already? Happy AF Humpday!

[Lavande]

Onward October - Week 3

Hump Day is just about done ~ time flies even when you're retired, right Dill?
Glad you enjoyed your volunteer day. Just think, you are the new kid on the block with current computer skills. Now you get to teach the old dogs new tricks :H

Fire Prevention day apparently went well. Of course EB was excited that his Dad brought the fire truck to his school - what's better than that? :H

My fall crop of green beans is coming in now but the broccoli seems kind of stalled. No doubt this weird weather is responsible. Rain tonight & tomorrow then getting cooler. Baby chicks are now looking like teenagers, some are hopping up on the training roost already. Big shots :H

Have a great night all!

[Stargazerlily]

Onward October - Week 3

Good morning everyone...

Dill, glad to hear you are in for the long haul. Sounds like you can really be useful at the food pantry with your computer skills. It always cracks me up when people are afraid of computers. It is just learning another program. No matter where you go or what you do, computers are there, and they have to be used and learned. No use fighting it. I AM a reader, a nerd, bookworm. I feel that there is not enough time in life to learn and know everything I want to. It is great to be AF and feel good enough to read and enjoy life.

Lav, babysitter on call, that is so kind of you to be so available. Thanks for starting week three. Are you following the meditation on the depak website? I am, although a little behind, and really enjoying it.

Drinking coffee, slowly waking up. I get off a little early today, so have to plan something good for dinner. Four day weekend to look forward too. I want to have time to exercise and meditate. I feel real sedentary, and don't like it. OK, off to make breakfast. Have a great day.

[Rusty]

Onward October - Week 3

Good Morning Everybody,

Dill-I just love it that you can help your food pantry co-workers with computer navigation.:goodjob: Computers ARE daunting.....they are for me anyway. My mother took a class on computers when she was 73 but she still struggles. You are even a more welcome addition to the volunteers than you ever could have imagined. Ah, in retirement, you have re-invented yourself. I had not heard of Dr. Frankl. I will google him.

Lav-I think it's great that your son drove the fire truck to EB's school. How fun! I will chime in here and say "good job" that you are so available to help with your grandsons. One of the rewards of being AF, I bet.

Star, do you have any plans for your long weekend? I'm glad you are getting off work early. I could tell that you were a voracious reader from the start. It's your way of expressing yourself that gave it away. You're so articulate and the way you describe a situation reminds me of something I would read in a book or professional journal. I am enjoying reading for pleasure like I never have. I'm reading a great book called, "Addictive Thinking, Understanding Self-Deception." The author is Abraham J. Twerski, M.D. It's about addictive thinking and codependency. One of my dear friends has never been a problem drinker but her sister is, and her family....toxic. So she attends CODA meetings, and I got this book because she likes to call me after meetings and tell me how they went, but I absolutely did not understand what codependency meant. The book gives a great definition: " A codependent person is one who has let another person's behavior affect him or her and is obsessed with controlling that person's behavior." I am so guilty of this behavior.

I think Lav is an excellent example of someone who has learned NOT to be codependent when it comes to YB.

Cyn-did you say your pain comes from fibromyalgia? I couldn't remember. I'm glad you can see an acupuncturist and the Baclofen gives you some relief. I feel so badly that have such long commutes every day. Please take good care of yourself.

Hellos to Pap, Witts, and anyone else dropping by....I have a few errands today and then it's time to try and hang my new artwork.

I hope everyone has a splendid AF Thursday!

[cyntree]

Onward October - Week 3

Happy Thursday all -
Dill - you are a born teacher, it looks like you will continue your work at the Pantry...how great!
Lav - ditto all, boy is your family lucky to have you! And ditto Rusty - you have shown us all a way to step out of any codependency trap. RE: fire engines, I heard on my little radio station this morning a call out to the public to come help our local fire department decorate their truck for the Thanksgiving parade - as a moose!
Star - ditto the praise for your reading and all your thoughts. Hope you find a walking companion. It does help to have dogs, though mine are not being exercised as much these days...
Rusty - I don't have to make that commute everyday, thank goodness! That would really be hard. It's so great to hear you describe your days - so upbeat and energetic! The book sounds interesting. Years ago I read one of the first books on the subject; Melody Beatty's 'Codependant No More', very interesting.
RE: this job. I must be honest, I don't like anything about it (maybe not even the pay check, it's coming at such a personal price at this point.) It's really not for me, not the way I am used to working, and I'm making mistakes, and am behind, and sheeesh....
But you are all reminding me that I have a choice about how to think and feel about the situation, so I'm going to keep gratitude thoughts in my head. I'll do my best, learn all I can, and make an exit plan.
Thanks for all your help, guys!

[Lavande]

Onward October - Week 3

Good morning kids

All hazy & overcast here - the sunshine smiley face helps!

Boy do I ever wish I was receiving on-call pay for babysitting Star :H
I am grateful for the opportunity to spend this time with the grandkids. Things could certainly be different, I am aware of that! I am not currently signed up for Chopra's meditations although I did receive an invitation. Enjoy them, I think they are so helpful

Rusty, the whole topic of codependency is interesting while also being a bit frightening, don't you think? I think I could write my own book on the subject
Trying to protect your own sanity while living with someone with a whole host of emotional issues (leftover from childhood) is another topic worthy of a Lav book :H

Cyn, I hope you can put together an exit plan for yourself very soon
We talk a lot about self care but sometimes it's a very hard thing to keep going. Gratitude thinking has helped me pull through a LOT!

Here's something I saw on Facebook this morning:
15 Steps To Help You Be Grateful For Everything You Have In Your Life

Greetings to Dill, papmom, Witts & those who lurk...

Must go feed hungry animals - have a great AF day everyone!

Lav

[Lavande]

Onward October - Week 3

It's me again

I just wanted to post a link here that Chill just posted on Facebook. It fits right in with our ongoing gratitude theme

21 Days of Gratitude - Home

Yes, I signed up!!! I had forgotten about the Mentors Channel - they still had me in their system

[Rusty]

Onward October - Week 3

Good Morning and TGIF, Friends!

After 4 days of non-stop rain, we are supposed to have sun today!

Cyn-Dr. Twerski posted that definition on codependency from Melody Beatty's book. Now I'll have to buy her book, too.:H. I am glad you don't have to make that 6-hr. commute every day, but still....like you said, the paycheck is great but the personal price you pay is not worth it. You're really sharp, Cyn, and when the time is right, you'll make the move to get out of there and find something better.:l

Lav:

Rusty, the whole topic of codependency is interesting while also being a bit frightening, don't you think? I think I could write my own book on the subject. Lav, it really is....and I am learning so much about myself in reading these books (I bought two of them by Dr. Lance Dodes....a Doggygirl recommendation) and yes, it is really painful to read since I totally see myself, but I'll tell ya, I'll be damned if I fall into those same traps again. That's why I admire you SO much in the way you can detach yourself from YB. I wish I could be that way!!!! Thank you also for the links to FB on Gratitude. I read the Gratitude lists yesterday and they got my day off to a great start.

Dill-I learn so much from you and others on this thread!

I do, too. I never had a tool for improving all aspects of my life until I found this thread. And really, this is the only place where I feel comfortable talking about codependency, etc. I can't discuss codependency with my mother (too new-age of a word, and besides, prayer solves everything. Not really....but I won't challenge her).

Star-what do you have planned for your 4-day weekend?

Pap-hope everything is well with you.

Ok, I have to get to the gym and then I have a mountain of errands to run. Hope everyone has a lovely AF Friday!

[dill]

Onward October - Week 3

Good Morning Friends,

Lav, thanks so much for the Gratitude link. I am printing it out and sharing it today. Thanks for the meditation link too, but I don't think I'll do this one altho it is perfect for our accidental theme of the month: gratitude.:h

Cyn, excellent approach to your job situation! Sometimes things just don't turn out as we had thought they would. It sounds like it is not a good fit for you. It's good you aren't panicking, but just making a plan. Thanks for the compliment about me being a natural born teacher. No one has ever said that to me before and I like to think it is true.

Rusty, I am going to get the book you mentioned. I looked for it on the library website but there were no copies available in our county system. However, we have a state wide search engine and intra library loan system so I will be able to get it. But really, your explanation of what co-dependence is may be all I really need to learn! Very well stated. I had an epiphany when I read it and immediately began to assess some of the things I have been doing here in my own life that need to change! (re: DIL and son, too)

I feel there is not enough time in life to learn and know everything I want to.

I feel the same way, Star. And being AF gives me so much more time to fill in that pursuit! Listen carefully: YOU ARE NOT A NERD!!:H

I noticed how bright the moon was this morning when I woke up and wondered if it was a full moon so naturally I googled. The full moon is tonight and tomorrow and there is actually a lunar eclipse too, so I thought I'd share the info. If you're interested, here's the link:

Penumbral Lunar Eclipse 2013: Sun and Earth to Align to Cast Moon into Shadows - IBTimes UK

[Lavande]

Onward October - Week 3

Good afternoon kids

Couldn't log on this morning - glad some one fixed the problem.

Dill, I have been wondering where I can sleep tonight to stay out the lunar effects :H :H
Hopefully it won't make us all crazy

Rusty, I have to tell you -
Learning to detach myself was a necessity. It was either that be locked up for murder, I kid you not.
Forgiving myself for allowing him to walk all over me was an even harder task, but again a necessity.
Some days I still want to shout from the roof top & tell the world the truth about him. He is such a skilled con artist
I am detached & have accepted all this but I am not happy about his choices & how they have directly affected me!!!!

OK, going to get back to what I was doing. Have a great AF Friday everyone!
Lav

[corgipups]

Onward October - Week 3

morning everyone (witts here )

back home again after my babysitting time glad to be home and have a weeks break before i have my sons son ( 3 yr old ) during the day for a week

Had a five yr old leave the tap on in the upstairs bathroom in the wash basin only to block it up and had water everywhere and pouring down stairs lucky it was before the renovate the downstairs bathroom
( had to do it on my watch )

the corgi isn't mine thou i do have a pair i would love to breed but not having any luck there

have to weed the garden as the they took off we have had an unusual hot spring and now the bush fires are starting .... dosnt look good for summer

okay have heaps to do bye all

[Lavande]

Onward October - Week 3

Good to see you witts!
Sounds like you have been a very busy grandma
I have heard about the wildfires on the news - hope it doesn't get too bad!
Get some rest before you're back on duty!!

Lav

[Stargazerlily]

Onward October - Week 3

Good morning everybody...

Rusty, no big plans for the weekend. We are just plain tired from working all the time and want some down time at home. So, we ran errands, did laundry, and I made an awesome soup. I know, boring, but it is OK. We want to rearrange our living room, so friends are coming over to help us move stuff around. This is my idea, and my husband is not into it. Hates change and rearranging stuff, but I just want to see if it would make the room bigger. Plus, it is fun.

Codependency is hard to let go of, especially if you live with someone who is miserable. They tend to spread their misery, hence, you feel what they feel and it stinks. That is why it is so important to keep a part of yourself to yourself, as Lav says, detach. I am better at it sometimes than other times. I think with all the discussion about attitude and relationships on this thread, it helps us to make healthier choices, because lets face it, relationships are messy.

Dill, you area natural teacher, it is fun to learn and share. I am a nerd, it is OK. I don't look like one. Loved the moon info. Interesting.

Lav, it is a miracle that any of us are still married. I mean, when we hook up we are so young, don't really know much of the world or even ourselves. I am sorry you let YB walk all over you, but proud of you for standing your ground, now. That is the beauty of getting older, we put up with less of what we don't want. I notice that I too demand certain things, in the name of self-care. Good for us. Thanks for sharing the links. I am really working on identifying positives when the old monkey mind kicks in, and it works.

Witts, good to hear from you. The fires are scary.

Well, today I am going to clean up my closet, get the winter stuff out and put the shorts away. It is really crowded in my closets. I also want to clean out drawers, it is raining and there is not a lot to do. Oh, bought a turkey, looking forward to roasting that bad boy. Made Turkish red lentil soup, so good. So, cleaning and cooking, a way to spend the cool, rainy fall days.

[dill]

Onward October - Week 3

Good morning Friends,
Hi Witts, so happy to see you back! I didn't know about the fires you mentioned. I hope you all get some relief! Did you get your weeds all sorted out? I usually fight the good fight early on in the season, but as the weeks pass I tend to get lazy about it. No weeds to worry about here. It's been a beautiful Autumn.

Lav, the moon didn't affect me one bit. I went to bed early and slept like a baby. It was too cloudy to see the moon.

I have 3 pumpkins on the entry way. One is a pie pumpking I bought especially for the 2 year old. The three have nice shapes and long stems. ...Well, had long stems.....Tessa got it in her head that we put them out there for her. She carried those pumpkiins off into the yard and had a very fun time with them, judging by the loss of stems and teeth marks....:H I still love her anyway! Matt is not real happy with her tho. Kylie doesn't mind at all. She still proudly holds her stemless pumpkin and proudly exclaims, "Mine!". So cut!

Have a great AF Saturday!