Onward October - week 4

[dill]

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

--Reinhold Niebuhr

Hello everyone, we need to start week 4! I am checking in late, but happily can report that I am checking in AF! I hope you all are enjoying a peaceful and AF Friday evening. I'll try to post more properly tomorrow.:h

[Lavande]

Onward October - week 4

Thanks for taking the time to start up week 4 for us Dill
Accepting everything, just as it is truly helped me & it will help you too.

I'm up late too, have over stimulated my brain sitting at my sewing machine working on the costumes for the boy kids
Hope to wind down soon so I can get some sleep. Is it really 11:40 pm - geez.

Good night all!

[dill]

Onward October - week 4

Good Saturday Morning Friends!

So nice to be waking unhung and with energy and peace of mind.

Rusty, I love the image of you walking along the lake with a friend taking in the fall colors. Thank you again for the lovely PM. As far as getting extra help with the gkids...I am going to work on that. I'm going to try to set a regulare schedule with DIL's side of the family to where I can count on some help on the weekends. I'll check at the local high school and college to see if there are any responsible young people interested in extra cash. We are right near a quality universtiy. The girl next door did well in the summer, but she has since gotten a job at the university working in the cafeteria, hence she is less available and less in need of $$$$.

Lav, I know what it feels like to lose one by one the members of the generation before us. My last living Aunt passed last summer. I miss them. I have many fond memories of family get togethers and what characters each of them were! I didn't do a great job of keeping in touch with my last Aunt after my Mom died, but I don't feel too too badly about it because she had 8 children and most of them lived very near her. She was well taken care of. I hope your Aunt is too. How many children does she have?

Sometimes life hurts. Then, things get better. So, there you go.

So true, Star and I must work on keeping in mind that difficult times come and go in everyone's lives. I'm no different. I need to keep in mind that "this too shall pass" and deal with my situation in a healthy way.

I struggled through the last few days. I had such a terrible compulsion to just drink. For the first time in my life I actually poured a glass of wine for myself at 10:30 in the morning on Wednesday, the day after my debacle. I still had a significant amount of wine left from the previous night and when I went to pour it out that morning, I found myself unable to. So I poured myself a glass and then poured out the rest. Well all that glass did was make me want more. I didn't have more that day because I had poured it out, but the next day I found myself making excuses to go to the store. My real reason: to get wine.....I didn't manage to get back to AF until yesterday. I got a good start on it and I am once again focused. I think I will be alright. Thank you all for being here to help me come back.:h

[Lavande]

Onward October - week 4

Good morning Dill & everyone!

It's a frosty 28 degrees here, Brrrr. The sun is here so it will warm things up

Very happy to see you back on track Dill. Honestly, sometimes life is a real bitch, totally difficult & unfair I think we can all agree!
Somehow I have finally gotten it thru my thick 1/2 Polish head that drinking AL definitely is NOT going to help the situation or make me feel better. AL will not ever make anything better for me & I've accepted that. It doesn't matter how long it takes to get your head into that place, just keep working until you get there
My surviving aunt has 4 children, dozens of grandchildren & 2 great grands. She is well loved & will not be left on her own.

Today I MUST finish up the costume sewing for the boys. Tomorrow I am going to go pick up Ms Lily for the day so her parents can spend a few hours with old friends who are in town.

No time for messing around this weekend. I must remain focused - yeah sure :H :H
Wishing everyone a wonderful AF Saturday!

Lav

[Rusty]

Onward October - week 4

Good Morning Everytone,

Dill:l I just sent you another PM, but after reading your post this morning, it will be a little bit outdated or late, so to speak. Thank you for your honesty about your struggle to remain AF. Why some are able to stay AF more easily than others is a puzzling question. Everyone's journey is different. Thank you also for posting that lovely poem/prayer. One day at a time, for sure....I still struggle with living in the present, but I am getting better. :goodjob: on working with your DIL's side of the family to set up a regular visitation schedule so you can have a much-needed break.

Lav-what are the kids' costumes this year?

I am off to the gym, then business work, then a walk with my sister, and then it's time for Notre Dame football with my mother. I bring my laptop and look up stats on the players. She likes that.

Star, Lav, Cyn, and visitors, I hope you all have a lovely Saturday.

[Lavande]

Onward October - week 4

Good evening friends,

Done sewing the kiddie style 'zombie' jackets for the boys. That's what they wanted to be for Halloween & my DIL approved To each his own I guess

Rusty, I can't imagine that anyone has an easier time staying sober than anyone else. I truly believe what you are seeing in some people is acceptance.
Getting sober & staying sober was possible for me once I finally accepted that I just cannot drink safely anymore. Somewhere I crossed 'the line' & I don't believe you can go back. Even RJ figured that out & gave up her hope of moderation. It just doesn't work if you have crossed that line.

That's just my two cents.

Leaving here by 9 am to go get show tune Lily :H
I hope she brings her stuffed microphone - she's crazy.

Have a cozy night everyone. I've got a nice fire going & am sitting in front of Masterpiece Theater.

Chill just posted the UK weather report on Facebook. They have a big windy storm blowing over now.

[Mick]

Onward October - week 4

Yoo hoo Lav just thought I would give you a shout. On my travels

[Stargazerlily]

Onward October - week 4

Good morning to all...

Dill, thanks for sharing your journey. It is eye opening how quickly drinking immediately escalates once started again. Whew, what a tough couple of days for you. The only thing is, once you have some decent AF time, it is easy to see how much better life can be. No struggle, no hangover, no sickness, just dealing with life. I loved the poetry by Niebuhr and his references to living life as Christ did, doing your best, expecting hardship and working through it. Beautiful.

Rusty, we watched Notre Dame too!!!! How fun to purchase a new table for your living room. I love changing up rooms, getting new things.

Lav, I agree with you that moderation is not workable once you have crossed the line. I find it interesting that RJ's decision to be AF is not published or discussed more. Are people successful moderating? Just wondered. Have a great day with your granddaughter.

[dill]

Onward October - week 4

Good unhung Sunday morning everyone!

Mick, nice to have you stop in with a friendly shout.

Lav, acceptance is a gift. It is an important piece to sobriety, but I don't think it is the solution. I do think there is more to it than that. I'm really happy for you that you have found your way. You have worked at it mightily, even long after your moment of acceptance, don't you think? I wonder if there is a level of fear that must be mixed in. You recongnize that you cannot drink "safely" and you have a strong fear of what the outcome would be if you took that first drink, whether it be physical danger or the danger of humiliation....something. I still have not suffered that severe consequence, or at least not one severe enough to put the fear in me. I think maybe I'm talking about "hitting the bottom". Maybe I haven't hit mine yet. I'd like to stop drinking before I do because I'm definitely teetering on the brink! Hope I'm making sense here. It is pretty early in the morning for this kind of thinking~:H

Oh well, the day lies ahead and I have energy and enthusiasm to make it a good one. I'm pondering what to put in the crockpot...

[Lavande]

Onward October - week 4

Good morning friends

Sunny & chilly again, not bad.

Hi Mick! Nice to see you pop in here
Behave yourself today!!!

Star, I take a peak at the mod threads once in a while. People may claim some success but what I see is a lot of work & anguish, not a whole lot of comfort
I remember too well my own attempts to moderate - just didn't work for me. I don't want to spend my life counting down days & hours until I could pour another glass of wine. I find it's just so much easier to walk away from it completely & not have AL occupying my head space

I could use some new furnishings myself but will NOT buy anything new until these grandkids get older - they are slobs :H

Have a great AF Sunday everyone!
Lav

[Lavande]

Onward October - week 4

Cross post Dill ~ nice to see you this morning
I guess each of us needs to be ready to take that leap into acceptance.
I just hope we can all do that before it's too late

[Rusty]

Onward October - week 4

Good Evening,

A late check-in for me as I have been enjoying the end of a lovely Fall day...church in the morning, a long walk along the lake path, good food, a little work, and time spent with my family. Can't get better than that!

Dill-what did you end up cooking in the crockpot? I owe you a PM. I will do so when I organize all my many thoughts.:H

Star-how was the conference? Did you get to visit your mother's grave? Did your friends ever come over to help you and your husband rearrange the living room furniture? Enough questions! Hope you had a nice weekend.

Sleepy hellos to everyone else. See you on Monday.

[dill]

Onward October - week 4

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost but now I'm found
Was blind but now I see

Twas grace that taught my heart to fear
And grace my fears relieved
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed

Through many dangers, toils and snares
I have already come
Tis grace hath brought me safe thus far
And grace will lead me home



Hello Friends, and happy unhung Monday morning!

Rusty, I made a chicken stew in the crockpot and it was really good, if I do say so myself! Nice day here for a walk yesterday too.

Star and Lav, "the line" has been crossed here long ago. I cannot moderate. I don't even want to try to moderate anymore. When I choose to drink, I know going into it that I will not be moderate. That's why I am aiming for AF.

I finally got the book, Parched, from the library. I liked it much better than her other memoir, Redeemed. I skimmed over some of it because I wanted to get to the parts about her family holding an intervention and then her take on her 30 day treatment. It was a good read and I recommend it.

I'm taking a day trip today with Mr. D down to Southern Ohio to visit family. It will be a nice get away for just the 2 of us. Have a great AF Monday everyone.

[Stargazerlily]

Onward October - week 4

Good morning...oh its Monday and I am having a hard time getting up, need lots of coffee. On first cup.

Rusty, the conference was really good, informative and not too long. The speaker was interesting and right to the point. I went to my mom's grave, it was freezing, and very sad. However, I put the little pumpkins on you gravestone and said a prayer. My friends did come over, we rearranged, then the next day I did not like it. I was facing the wall and the kitchen, rather than my windows, and the outdoors. So, after the flooring is put in, it will be back to the old way. I was thinking, sometimes you don't realize that the way things are is OK. Your Sunday sounded very satisfying, filled with church and mass and family. Just the way a Sunday should be. Hey, the new pope is trying, I really feel some hope. What are your thoughts?

Dill, it sounds like you do accept that moderation is not going to work for you. If you drink, it will get ugly. Is that acceptance? So happy for your that you get to go on a short trip. Yay. I love getting away for a little bit. Have fun.

Lav, I imagine your furniture is comfortable and maybe a little worn. So what. I remember a relative getting new furniture and it was light and stiff and uncomfortable. I like comfy and if you spill something or it leaks on the couch, it is not the end of the world. How you been doing? I made this great vegetarian stuffed peppers dish, it was so good. This weather is good for cooking. I know you enjoy your Curves, and I want you to know I went to two yoga classes this weekend, and it really lifted my spirits. Been struggling with the darn negative thinking, that comes on you for no real reason. Challenging the dark cloud with gratitude and positive thinking makes a difference.

Mick, glad you stopped by. I read the thread you post on daily, get enjoyment from the jokes.

Have a productive day, all.

[Lavande]

Onward October - week 4

Good Monday morning friends

Having some coffee & waiting for the sun to really rise

Dill, it sounds like your thinking is pretty clear on the subject of moderation, good for you.
I like to think about everything in terms of 'what's better for me?' I have discovered that it's better for me to stay completely away from AL & his associate Nic. It's better for me to stay away from dairy & red meat & better if I push myself out to Curves 3 or more days per week. I am sure you will discover what needs to be on your self-care list as well
Have a completely enjoyable day with no kids in tow!!!

Star, I am pretty relaxed about the furnishings around here :H
The last thing I want is to be some rigid, uptight granny insisting everyone leave their shoes at the door :H Making our surrounding pleasant & comfy should be part of our self-care routine.
Nice to hear you are taking time for yoga classes
I didn't do a whole lot of cooking this weekend but I did make some roasted butternut squash soup Friday evening - it was good. Yesterday I roasted a chicken & picked the last of the green beans from my garden - yum. The plants had been beaten by an overnight frost but the beans were perfect. Your veggie stuffed peppers sound good!
Keeping the negative thinking away is vital & actually becomes easier with practice. When I start to recognize a negative thought forming I put a STOP to it, kill it immediately!!!!!

Greetings to Rusty & anyone flying by today.
Have a great AF Monday everyone!

Lav