mae ...just a quick start...clockswent back last night...its 4.55 am so there you go...off out in a bit so wont be a long post..how is yawl ok I hope ..weather is absolutely in weather forecast terms shit ...blowing and raining
Quick cuppa ....any early birds want some?
Morning Sf ..you ok....yes I agree with you ...work isnt for killing you ...but on the other hand there are so many scroungers around waiting for handouts ....and now it seems it is their God given right at the hand of those who actually do work.I suspect America is no different than here and everyone muppet who has a sad tale gets a freebie!!!grrr dont start me on that one!! anyway hows your weekend?
Hi Lav ...too early for a cuppa?or are you up sewing?well today should be a fun packer for you.......Miss Lily ...whats she into ....apart from everything?at least its a break from Thomas the tank
Hiya bear ..you ok? doing well keep it up :goodjob:
Det hos you mate ...good job ..you dont need the bevvy mate...just think you could be like one of the ones you are watching ....see how they feel today!!!stay strong .
Hiya Sunshine ..how are you ....?glad to see you on here ...complete with velcro...So what have you been up to ?
Hello upside downy person ....hows you today?reckon its about mid afternoon where you are ..Had a good weekend?
right folks ...just like moi ...short n sweet ...so time to go ..have a good one
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to... unless your in prison
Five year old Little Johnny was lost, so he went up to a policeman and said, "I've lost my dad!" The policeman said, "What's he like?" Little Johnny replied, "Beer and women!"
A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?" "Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly. "How do you know that?" "Easy," the little boy said. "All you have to do is add it up, like the Bishop said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer"
A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vice versa. " Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00." This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game. The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer. "Okay" says the lawyer, "your turn." She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?" The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the library of congress, no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and hands her $500.00. The blonde says, "Thank you," and turns back to get some more sleep. The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?" Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep. And you thought blondes were dumb.
A doctor asks a patient while examining her: How many sex partners did you have? 5 or 6, don't remember exactly.. Hmm, not that many... Yes, that wasn't the most successful weekend.
Mommy," Little Johnny asked, "do all fairy tales begin with 'Once upon a time'?" "No, dear," she replied. "Sometimes they start with 'Darling, I'll be working late at the office tonight...'"
As we stood in formation at the Pensacola Naval Air Station, our Flight Instructor said, ?All right! All you dummies fall out.? As the rest of the squad wandered away, I remained at attention. The instructor walked over until he was eye-to-eye with me, and then just raised a single eyebrow. I smiled and said, ?Sure was a lot of ?em, huh sir??
Q: How do you stop a lawyer from drowning?
A: Shoot him before he hits the water.
Boy: ?I got an F in arithmetic.? Father: ?Why?? Boy: ?The teacher asked ?How much is 2?3?? and I said ?6′? Father: ?But that?s right!? Boy: ?Then she asked me ?How much is 3?2??? Father: ?What?s the fucking difference?? Boy: ?That?s exactly what I said!?
A Mexican bandit made a specialty of crossing the Rio Grande from time to time and robbing banks in Texas. The banks offered a reward for his capture, dead or alive, but offered a much larger award for the recovery of the stolen funds. An enterprising Texas Ranger decided to track him down. After a long and difficult search, he traced the bandit to his home town. On a hunch, he checked the town's cantina, and sure enough, there was the robber. The only other people in the bar were the bartender and a scrawny, older man at a back table. The time was right to make a move. The ranger drew his revolver, charged into the cantina, and announced: "You are under arrest. I get a reward for you, dead or alive. Tell me where the money is, and I'll let you live. If you don't, I'll shoot you right here, and save myself the trouble of having to take you back to Texas alive." But the bandit didn't speak English, and the Ranger didn't speak Spanish. As it turned out, the scrawny man at the back of the bar happenedd to be a lawyer. He knew the robber, and was bilingual, and quickly offered to translate for the two of them. The ranger said: "Tell him that if he doesn't tell me where the loot is, I'll shoot him here and now." Upon hearing what the Ranger had said, and seeing the cold look in his eye, the bandit knew that the Ranger meant it - if he did not give up his loot, he was a dead man. Terrified, the bandit blurted out in Spanish that the loot was buried in an old barn at the outskirts of town. "What did he say?" asked the Ranger. The lawyer answered: "He said, 'You don't have the nerve to shoot me, Yankee swine.'"
Can I help you? No. I just waited in the line for 30 minutes to say Hi.
The reason the Air Force, Army, Navy and Marines bicker amongst themselves is that they don?t speak the same language. For instance, Take the simple phrase ?secure the building?. The Army will post guards around the place. The Navy will turn out the lights and lock the doors. The Marines will kill everybody inside and set up a headquarters. The Air Force will take out a 5 year lease with an option to buy.
Teacher asks children, what do you wish to do in future? Jimmy: I want to be a pilot. Willy: I want to be a doctor. Mary: I want to be a good mother. Little Johnny: I want to help Mary.
Quick cuppa ....any early birds want some?
Morning Sf ..you ok....yes I agree with you ...work isnt for killing you ...but on the other hand there are so many scroungers around waiting for handouts ....and now it seems it is their God given right at the hand of those who actually do work.I suspect America is no different than here and everyone muppet who has a sad tale gets a freebie!!!grrr dont start me on that one!! anyway hows your weekend?
Hi Lav ...too early for a cuppa?or are you up sewing?well today should be a fun packer for you.......Miss Lily ...whats she into ....apart from everything?at least its a break from Thomas the tank
Hiya bear ..you ok? doing well keep it up :goodjob:
Det hos you mate ...good job ..you dont need the bevvy mate...just think you could be like one of the ones you are watching ....see how they feel today!!!stay strong .
Hiya Sunshine ..how are you ....?glad to see you on here ...complete with velcro...So what have you been up to ?
Hello upside downy person ....hows you today?reckon its about mid afternoon where you are ..Had a good weekend?
right folks ...just like moi ...short n sweet ...so time to go ..have a good one
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to... unless your in prison
Five year old Little Johnny was lost, so he went up to a policeman and said, "I've lost my dad!" The policeman said, "What's he like?" Little Johnny replied, "Beer and women!"
A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?" "Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly. "How do you know that?" "Easy," the little boy said. "All you have to do is add it up, like the Bishop said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer"
A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vice versa. " Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00." This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game. The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer. "Okay" says the lawyer, "your turn." She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?" The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the library of congress, no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and hands her $500.00. The blonde says, "Thank you," and turns back to get some more sleep. The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?" Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep. And you thought blondes were dumb.
A doctor asks a patient while examining her: How many sex partners did you have? 5 or 6, don't remember exactly.. Hmm, not that many... Yes, that wasn't the most successful weekend.
Mommy," Little Johnny asked, "do all fairy tales begin with 'Once upon a time'?" "No, dear," she replied. "Sometimes they start with 'Darling, I'll be working late at the office tonight...'"
As we stood in formation at the Pensacola Naval Air Station, our Flight Instructor said, ?All right! All you dummies fall out.? As the rest of the squad wandered away, I remained at attention. The instructor walked over until he was eye-to-eye with me, and then just raised a single eyebrow. I smiled and said, ?Sure was a lot of ?em, huh sir??
Q: How do you stop a lawyer from drowning?
A: Shoot him before he hits the water.
Boy: ?I got an F in arithmetic.? Father: ?Why?? Boy: ?The teacher asked ?How much is 2?3?? and I said ?6′? Father: ?But that?s right!? Boy: ?Then she asked me ?How much is 3?2??? Father: ?What?s the fucking difference?? Boy: ?That?s exactly what I said!?
A Mexican bandit made a specialty of crossing the Rio Grande from time to time and robbing banks in Texas. The banks offered a reward for his capture, dead or alive, but offered a much larger award for the recovery of the stolen funds. An enterprising Texas Ranger decided to track him down. After a long and difficult search, he traced the bandit to his home town. On a hunch, he checked the town's cantina, and sure enough, there was the robber. The only other people in the bar were the bartender and a scrawny, older man at a back table. The time was right to make a move. The ranger drew his revolver, charged into the cantina, and announced: "You are under arrest. I get a reward for you, dead or alive. Tell me where the money is, and I'll let you live. If you don't, I'll shoot you right here, and save myself the trouble of having to take you back to Texas alive." But the bandit didn't speak English, and the Ranger didn't speak Spanish. As it turned out, the scrawny man at the back of the bar happenedd to be a lawyer. He knew the robber, and was bilingual, and quickly offered to translate for the two of them. The ranger said: "Tell him that if he doesn't tell me where the loot is, I'll shoot him here and now." Upon hearing what the Ranger had said, and seeing the cold look in his eye, the bandit knew that the Ranger meant it - if he did not give up his loot, he was a dead man. Terrified, the bandit blurted out in Spanish that the loot was buried in an old barn at the outskirts of town. "What did he say?" asked the Ranger. The lawyer answered: "He said, 'You don't have the nerve to shoot me, Yankee swine.'"
Can I help you? No. I just waited in the line for 30 minutes to say Hi.
The reason the Air Force, Army, Navy and Marines bicker amongst themselves is that they don?t speak the same language. For instance, Take the simple phrase ?secure the building?. The Army will post guards around the place. The Navy will turn out the lights and lock the doors. The Marines will kill everybody inside and set up a headquarters. The Air Force will take out a 5 year lease with an option to buy.
Teacher asks children, what do you wish to do in future? Jimmy: I want to be a pilot. Willy: I want to be a doctor. Mary: I want to be a good mother. Little Johnny: I want to help Mary.
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