trying again

[bear73]

Hello everyone- well I did 28 days af in January and pretty much managed to moderate since then.
Last week and a half though have had about a bottle of wine a day socially each day.
I need to quit again, I feel fat, unhealthy, haven't exercised and also have been smoking loads.I also have no money. I remember feeling great after 2 weeks af last time but seem to have lost my motivation/faith that I can do it. I really really want to though, I want to get back to the gym and enjoying exercising, not coughing myself to death as I've smoked tonnes of cigarettes.
I've started seeing hypno about low self esteem, had 3 sessions and felt more at ease/confident.
after this one i felt quite down, hated my job with a vengeance and wasn't very sociable at teh weekend. I'm wondering though if it just put me in touch wht what I'm really feeling, wanting.
anyway look forward to being back - day 1 for me again.

I'm planning to do af until this friday(at a festival) and then until 2 weeks after that(another festival).I now I'm not strictly doing a month af but would like to hang around to help my motivation.I'm off to the gym later to sweat out some toxins!

[Determinator]

trying again

hi Bear and glad to see you here. Sounds like the hypno is not self hypno but actually from a specialist? I'd pay them a phone call and let them know what's going on! it shouldn't be making things tougher for you. Change is hard although we can make the changes in manageable, resonable bites. Can beat exercise to lift the spirit. take care,

[Bean]

trying again

Hi Bear
Good to read your post. No pearls of wisdom to impart, more of a 'feeling the same way' reply. I just did 19 days AF, have drunk moderately over the weekend which i feel fine about though I notice that when I drink a few days in a row I get tired and then I can't breathe properly. Have had some pretty horrible panic attacks over the last year or 2. I tried hypnotherapy to cut back but as with everything, we have to have the motivation in ourselves to make it work. Anyway, not making any judgement on hypnotherapy as only had 2 sessions so don't know. I have heard good things from other people about it.

I have been having some angry feelings lately towards work and friends. I really dont know where it's coming from. I think I used to repress a lot of anger which manifested itself as depression, panic attacks and a lot of crying. Now that I am trying to be more open about it, I just seem to end up having minor confrontations every day recently. It's nothing very serious, but it's making me wonder what I could be doing to bring this about. I am (mostly!) a kind person who gets on well with others and I've got loads of friends. I don't like this feeling that things are off kilter and that I am just trying to get on with my life and do the best I can for others and myself but somehow there are a lot of misunderstandings etc flying about. Doesn't help that I am really over sensitive and take any criticism (perceived or real) very personally.
I have found through past experienve of counselling that sometimes it makes you feel great as you might have a revelation about something and other times, it can prompt an introspective feeling and feel a bit down. Took me quite a long time to grasp the concept of feeling worse before you feel better. I felt like i lived with all the painful stuff anyway but there are always new things to discover about yourself.
Hang in there. You gave a load of good reasons that you want to do this. I'm sure you can get back to it. I was feeling a bit like maybe I was a 'part-timer' on here - my drinking sounds similar to yours. Good to know I'm not the only one!
Bean