Ace at fooling myself!!!

[Guest]

Sitting here at 1 o`clock in the afternoon feeling like such a loser.

Kid myself every night when I go to bed ("glowing" from my nightly btl. of 12% white wine), that the morning shall be my first abs day. Sad part is, that every morning when I get up, my resolve has vanished.

Am going out shortly to buy some groceries, and just "know" that I won`t be able to resist picking up a btl. of wine.

Please somebody show me the way........

How do I find the strenght to be honest with myself ? How do I manage to say this is my first day`s abs, and mean it?

Recently did 12 days abs, as was ill with chest infection, but was back to my nightly btl of wine, just as soon as I`d recovered.........

Am so weak........

Starlight Impress

[Breez]

Ace at fooling myself!!!

Star~

A plan & a goal. Start small & work you way up.

Have you read the MWO book? Good place to start. Getting the supps/Topa/cds to help with the cravings. You have to want it badly enough. To want it badly enough you have to arm yourself with full artillery.

Baby steps...plan on going to the store & rather than buying the "hooch" buy your favorite food item-splurge on something. Bring it home & reward yourself with that food item for not buying booze. Baby steps...

[Determinator]

Ace at fooling myself!!!

starlight, if left unchecked this awfull chemical dependency we have can take away everything we have...most importantly our very health. I was complacent for a very very long time and procrastinated terribly even though there was this nagging voice in my head whispering that I was in trouble. I just kept drowning it out until I ended up in the hospital this March in serious medical state and lucky I did as I likely would have died at home.
Moral of the story I guess is to count up what you want/had without alcohol and see if you want it bad enough. when you are ready to get off this elevator you'll find a lot of tools here. Sounds like you are suffering from self esteem issues which is very common amongst us here. It s easy to find our faults and yet we block our own positive images for some strange reason. I started keeping a journal that is specifically for writing down a couple good postitive things involving ME every day...it's been a big help. Be well and hope to see you here on AB's tomorrow Starlight Impress.

[Mackeral]

Ace at fooling myself!!!

Some good advice there Star....I find it helps to keep busy the first few nights..I'm going for a month af as of today..But if i look at it like that it will drive me crazy...Better to look at it a day at a time.

And yeah...The money you would spend on your bottle of wine..Buy something else..Or save it for a week or 2 and go and buy something bigger..

And if you find yourself sitting there talking yourself into buying a bottle get yourself on here and tell someone your struggling..

Best of luck

[Popeye]

Ace at fooling myself!!!

Hello Starlight.
It seems we're nearly neighbours.
I live about 16 miles from Glasgow.
I think SeaBreaz said it for me (again).
If you have a plan then you've given yourself a good start.
I wish you well.

[Arial]

Ace at fooling myself!!!

Hi Starlight,

You've just described the last few years of my life - the getting up in the morning with absolute resolve, by lunchtime resolve wearing and then there's that point of no turning back and you know you've lost again for the day and that bottle (or 2) of wine is inevitable.

On and on it goes...So what's going to stop it? YOU are. If you want this heart and soul you can do it, and you will do it - you'll win.

Great advice from others, and I just wanted to share a few key turning points that helped me finally become AF:
1) - the final straw - luckily I didn't end up in hospital, (:l Determinator!) but there was definitely a final straw that made something click inside - it wasn't just the 'oh God I''ve done it again, this is it, I'm going to stop...' discussion of every morning - it was war!
2) - reading here! unbelievable motivation and inspiration
3) - a fabulous post here to whom I will be forever grateful (I'm only sorry I can't now recall who it was by) - but he/she said look beyond the alcohol - don't focus on not wanting to drink, focus on what you do want to do - focus on the positive. What do you want to do with a life without alcohol? There must be a reason you want to stop or it wouldn't bother you... 'I want to get healthy', I want to wake up with a clear head', 'I want to paint/iceskate/dance/study/be there for my children - whatever it is that makes you want to stop drinking, focus on that and make plans - it's not going to happen on its own.
4) - the journal works well for me too - Just writing things down helped me clear my head
5) - Some people use buddies - some one to check in with regularly and who is always there for you.

Sorry I've been so wordy - and they're only personal thoughts - everyone's 'key' to sobriety is different so keep an open mind, try everything and soon you'll find your own way.
Warmest wishes,