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    #1

    Not happy w/myself.

    I've joined this forum, because I'd like to do 30 AF. I've signed into drink-tracker, which I find very helpful. Yesterday, I fell off however & am pretty mad at myself today. I had done a lot of heavy gardening & after I got cleaned up, I thought I'd just have a few. Of course, that is not how I drink. I ended up drinking a bottle of wine.

    I want to recommit to 30 days. Thank you all so much for your patience.
    Wisdom, Courage, Strength
    October 3, 2012
    Tags: None
    #2
    Not happy w/myself.

    Wine is my poison of choice as well, I am a red lover myself. I can drink a whole bottle and more in an evening. I tend to drink in bars, supposedly for the social contact but we all know why I'm there. If I don't go out I don't usually drink at all. Good luck making 30 days AF. Remember we're always here for you.

    -Lorelei
    Suddenly I see
    This is what I want to be
    suddenly I see
    Why the hell it means so much to me.

    -KT Tunstall

    Comment

      #3
      Not happy w/myself.

      Ret, just try and think what triggered you today and ignore those triggers the best you can next time. Jump back on the 30 day wagon....
      I'm really easy to get along with once people learn to worship me

      Comment

        #4
        Not happy w/myself.

        Been there and felt exactly the same way you are feeling! Last night I mixed non-alcoholic wine with the regular stuff. Thought that would help me taper the drinking down to a half of bottle of the real stuff. I still drank the whole bottle of the real stuff. Of course, it took longer, and I didn't get drunk because I stretched it out over more hours, but I'm still mad at myself for finishing off the bottle. Today's is a new day, another day AF. Focus on the days when you don't drink. Feel really good about those triumphs. You've made positive changes. Let that guide you. Good luck.

        Julie

        Comment

          #5
          Not happy w/myself.

          A new day!

          Hi Retteacher,

          You're doing great so don't beat yourself up - as they say, today's a new day, a new start - keep your determination, learn from how you feel now and move on - no patience on our part needed, we're not going anywhere!
          :l

          So hang in and keep going - AF today...
          :rays: Arial

          Last first day - 15th April 2012
          Goals:
          Days 1-7 DONE
          Days 8-14 DONE
          Days 15-21 DONE
          30 days DONE
          60 days
          100 days

          Comment

            #6
            Not happy w/myself.

            Oh well, you guys you are in good company - I drank half a bottle of merlot last night, which doesn't sound like crime of the century, except it was on an empty stomach, accompanied by about 10 fags and on top of 150mg topa,so I feel fairly vile today.

            Reason: estranged husband not coping with our estrangement, or the fact that the CPS have decided to charge him with assault ref our little domestic "incident" a few weeks ago (he has a record so this is pretty serious for him now), so he has decided that his best coping strategy is to have a mini-breakdown. That way he can refuse to deal with bills, work, divorce lawyers, defence barristers, mortgage payments, responsibilities, and life in general, and be The Victim! Meanwhile I have no money and 3 kids, have no IDEA what is going on in his business or our finances as he won't give me visibility, and have to keep smiling!

            So, half a bottle was ok I thought!

            Back to AF today then...

            Lots of love to all, K

            PS: If I ever start to sound pathetically self-pitying pl tell me

            Comment

              #7
              Not happy w/myself.

              Doesn't sound self pitying at all. Seems you have a good handle on what the stressors are in your life of course solving and dealing with them is more long term but surely identifying them is a good step forward.
              Obviously not aware of offences charged etc but in current climate the courts are doing everything to use community punishments and fines as opposed to custody which may not help much with the anxiety of it all but....
              mac

              Comment

                #8
                Not happy w/myself.

                Teach, this is a process. Not an easy one at that. However many steps it takes to get to your goal it takes. Focus on progress, not perfection.

                Do the best you can - keep striving for those 30 days. You'll get there - I know it.

                Comment

                  #9
                  Not happy w/myself.

                  Ripley, not self-pitying at all. Nothing irritates me more than an ex who gets away with his responsibiltites (or hers - don't mean to be a female chavanistic pig) by "having issues", behaving badly, knowing that the mess will somehow be managed by the person they are screwing anyway.

                  Geez. I'm having a day!

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Not happy w/myself.

                    Hi Ripley,
                    Seems you're just telling it like it is. Best wishes.

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Not happy w/myself.

                      Rett, Don't feel bad. It's the easiest thing in the world for people like us to fall and although it was a bottle I am sure you could have done more. Focus on the next stage of your plan.
                      Good Luck

                      R

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