Almost new month.

[retteacher]

I feel strongly that I want to have an AF May. I hope I can do it w/the help of this forum & drink tracker. I just joined MWO & it's been a lifeline. I've struggled w/alcoholism for years & want an AF life.

[Determinator]

Almost new month.

yes Reteacher! let us know what's working/not working....we'll put our heads together as we always do and synergystically kick some butt. AF May coming right up...

[wwbarb]

Almost new month.

I find that when I make declarations, tho, I seem to set myself up to stumble. I don't want to say failure because I only fail if I quit trying. Moderation is really my ultimate destination, but I have to define that before I can really get there.

A lot of you have said you are giving up drinking for your kids, your spouse, your health, to be more productive. Well, my kids are gone - I never see my grandkids because my son and I have such different schedules. My husband likes to drink with me. Why bother giving my to a job that doesn't appreciate me. I need to find reasons to want to feel good again.

This isn't an "I'm feeling sorry for myself" post - I'm just reflecting. Abstinence is essential for a period of time to get my body cleaned out; then my spirit will catch up, I guess.

[aquamarine]

Almost new month.

Reteacher- I really want an AF May also. The past couple months I've alot less but it is time to totally be AF. I think getting a month of AF accomplished really helps to continue AF- at least it has for me in the past. Good Luck! Aquamarine

[Newyear]

Almost new month.

Good Afternoon Ab land...

Retteacher- you can do 30...come here every day during those 30 days too - it helps tremendously. Best of luck to you.
Barb- I know what you mean. I really do. I have no one that I am doing this for except myself. No kids, no husband, no family members near me... and no one even knew I had a problem before either. So, I have friends and co - workers that just think I'm being odd(for quitting I mean). I am not being held accountable by anyone - except myself. Today I have been AF 6 months and 4 days .
The last week has been trying though. There has been more than one occasion that I wanted to just say screw it and go get drunk. I was surprised at myself too.
I think it is a choice every day. We have to keep making the choice not to drink over and over again. What would getting drunk one day out of a 6month period do to my health? Probably nothing.
But I don't trust myself to just get drunk one day. Beyond the physical (the awful hangover I would most certainly have) what would it do to me psychologically? The answer is that I'm not sure.
So I go back and forth in my head - do I? can I? Is that really what I want to do? Why shouldn't I?
Then I think - why am I turning to booze right this moment? I'm either lonely or bored or irritated. I'm mad that I can't drink but too scared to drink.
Not sure when exactly this all goes away- maybe never. I just keep reminding myself that I am so much better off now than 6 months ago and keep going.
:h to you all
Lisa

[wwbarb]

Almost new month.

Lisa, congrats on passing the six month mark - you are always such an inspiration to me!

I believe that anything we do has to come from within ourselves or it will not be permanent. When I was younger, I smoked. I started dating someone, I stopped smoking because he didn't like girls who smoked. When he broke up with me, the first thing I did was pick up a pack of cigarrettes. When you do it for someone else, you are faking it.

One of the most manipulative sentences starts with "If you love me, you would. . .". The doesn't mean we should be drunks and ignore the people we love in our lives. It means you can't make any kind of permanent change until you change within.

[Newyear]

Almost new month.

Hi Barb... thank you. It really is true. Doing this for someone else can work, but only
temporarily. I think we often start by doing this for someone else - for one thing I think lots of us don't like ourselves very much. We may love our family - our children, parents, huband- but I think we don't love ourselves enough to do it just for us. So we do it for them.
Maybe I have gotten a little 'down' on myself lately. Maybe that is why thoughts of drinking have slipped in more often. I need to remember that I'm worth it. We all need to remember that.

Thanks for your words.
6 month.....I think I'll try for 6 more!

Lisa

[stillcrawling]

Almost new month.

Lisa I am so proud of you

I had not been posting in October but I distinctly remember when Lisa started as it was when I found this site ... I have had my ups and downs since then I am pleased to say more ups but one cannot help but look back and say why? Why the slips -- the weekends of chardonnay ... I KNOW IT IS A PERSONAL STRUGGLE... SO LISA THAT IS WHY I AM SO PROUD OF YOU -- I KNOW HOW HARD IT IS! La Liz

[Newyear]

Almost new month.

La Liz...thank you! That made me feel great - Positive reinforcement sure works on me
:h

hope you have a great week-
Lisa

[retteacher]

Almost new month.

Lisa:

It is so inspiring to read your post that you are over 6 months AF. Thank you so much. I know I'll think of you when I feel tempted.

[Determinator]

Almost new month.

Lisa, in your first post on this thread I felt so aligned with your thoughts and struggle...page right out of my brain.
good to see you doing so very well

[southernbelle47]

Almost new month.



We are sooooooo proud of "our" girl Lisa!
You are an inspiration to us all and we love you!
I remember you when and you have made huge steps in your life.
Don't ever give back the ground you have gained!

Love,
Nancy

[Paddy]

Almost new month.

Well, frankly, AF can work for the month of May, but don't want to sound negative. Willpower enough might not suffice. You may want to arm yourself with the full Monty - meaning, Topa (and some of the supplements - which may/may not be necessary ... I used Multi- Vitamins at the beginning, which also helped)

[Paddy]

Almost new month.

And Lisa, thanks so much for sharing! These experiences are worth more than a thousand words to all of us, frankly.

Thanks heaps!

Lots of love

[Arial]

Almost new month.

Go for it Ret,

Hope it works out the way you plan, though agree that you might want some back ups ready incase you get tempted - I have the kudzu in the cupboard 'just in case' !

Lisa, many congratulations - what an inspiration! and thanks for the reflections - I really think you're right about the daily choice - I just hope I can keep making the right one as I know it would be a pretty quick slide back to what it was like before.

Take care all, and happy sobriety!