af Mon 11 November

[treetops]

MAE everyone. How are we all with the start of a new week? Busy day at work for me.

I certainly struck a cord with the news about my new bed. It won?t be coming for several weeks ? so I am still suffering on the bed of nails.

Det ? I am very sorry (for you) that you drank. The others have made lots of good comments that I echo ? although Lav, I can?t ever blame my drinking on coming from a family of Vets.

Det - We all know we could easily succumb to drinking again ? no matter how strong we may feel or how long we have been abstinent. So no judgements there mate. I also think that its pointless to go back to counting days from Day One again. I know this is how many do it ? but I really do not think this helps when you have had months or years of sobriety under your belt. If that is how people wish to personally do this ? so be it ? but if others have a short drinking period and then return to their longer patterns of abstinence ? then that's their choice. Its still a commitment to being AF in my eyes.

Having said that ?I am also going to ask a controversial question to us all.
Do some addicts have benders/slips/relapses ? call them what you will ? and figure that if they survive this ? then they will be OK? I am not in any way saying that this is you Det (and I know you will be very fragile at the moment) but I am thinking of my past thinking and that of some posts on MWO. The scenario goes like this
1. I have been good for XXX days/months
2. I know drinking will cause awful things to happen
3. I slipped up
4. Although awful things may have happened such as dreadful embarrassment/lack of self esteem/depression/hangover/physical pain etc - I did not die, my liver recovered, I still have my job, partner etc.

I haven't personally gone through this scenario and I am adamant I will not drink AL again and I don?t want to. But I still worry that I might have a relapse. I know that's warped and unproductive thinking ? but it worries me.
Anyway ? what do people think?

Det ? you will be OK ? but keep posting and get yourself into a healthy routine ? and talk about things with those you can trust.

Best to others. I will leave it to Mick to jolly us along and bring the breakfast doings.

[Mick]

af Mon 11 November

and yes ..here I am ..the bad penny has turned up again!!how are things today?back (dont mention that word!)to normal again today..Veterans day for those of you over the water ,Armistice Day here.Weather back to normal today...rain!!! and Iam at the chiropractor this afternoon..?33 for someone to beat lumps put of my back ..is the man mad...?where has my Scottishness gone? years ago I would have got into a fight and got the job done for nothing!!!:H..oh and booked a holiday yesterday...Back to Gran Canaria 30th Nov for 9 days ..get a bit of sun. Right on with the show.t n coffee on the hearth!!

Hiya tt ..ta for the start up busy week for you..was looking at your question..not sure if I got this right but here is the answer I thought..Tho I have never touch wood gone back to al ,the thought has crossed my mind in the past.Not to be part of the crowd or gang ...not interested in that (if needs be I would start my own gang!)..its more to do with ..well I have done really good so far ..heres a drink as a reward??does that make sense?In addition the thought ok..I used to drink to extremes..bet I can only have a couple and that would be ok..shades of delusion!!

Morning bear ..start of the hols for you ...well done on not drinking ..you are doing ace ..especially when all around you were shedded!!Certainly do think the idea of af beer is a good one..meetswhat you are tying to achieve...over time the reason for doing it changes..it will either become a taste you are fond of or you will ditch it.Even now ..on the odd occasssion I will have an af beer or cider,simply because I find them refreshing in the ot weather ..see I told you it was rarely!!and not as a must have substitute.I remember when I joined this site..on one f the posts for ages there was a massive debate about whether you should or shouldnt..quite interesting but actually ..not important.

Mornin Lav ..happy Vets day..(sounds like I should have a sick animal stashed somewhere)oh yes I have got a pair just like you .....the world is going to fall apart if we dont get these ..need some more make up ..it was a bargain/reduced!!to go into the cupboard not to see the light of day again..pretty sure we aint got a wardrobe ..its a tunnel that everything goes into!Thats sad about the horse and buggy....Is there some sort of test the Amish have to take to drive buggies or is it not required...Apart from the emergency brake ..remember that joke? See you are busy today so have this brew and see you later

Hiya SF ..how are you?hows the back today?I regularily do back exercises ..yep I know Ive put mine out ..but I am not the most careful or easy going person..as ppqp so neatly put it in her joke,if something needs doing /lifting/shifting it will happen ...and we will think of the consequences later.
As for America...wow certainly sounds like the politicians are copycatting each other ..change the names and we have the exact same scenario here!!more for less.com ..unless you are in the fat cat bracket..listen to this one...it was on the news here yesterday..a politician has been caught fiddling his expenses (another one) He was heating his stables /henhouses etc and claiming it as political expense .He has apologised and offered to pay the money back!wtf is that all about ..you or me would have been locked up by nw ..sure its called ..obtaining by pecuniary advantage and also misappropriation of public funding!!as a member of the public have I no right to say what happens to this thieving get?grrrr

Hiya pauly how are you today?get any rest last night? hows the cold?you take care.

Hiya Sam how are you ?any plans for today?

Hi Det ...hows things this morning? ok ? feeling any better?you know hindsight is a wonderful thing..I could have done this that etc ..hey its gone..done..it aint day 1... that for me is just a descriptive label ,it can be whatever you want it to be ..as long as you learn from it.We are all the same,one drink away .This weekend was my regimental re-union..all meet up get pissed up tell warry stories and remember old times and fallen friends.I never went ..not because of the drinking issue ..its just too far to travel especially with a bad back..Would I have survived the boozing?I would like to think so,but bearing in mind the stories and places .....so lets march on my friend

Hiya sunshine how are you? wow what a great remark to Det.." Tomorrow will be day 3 and it's all up hill from there..UP and a smiley face at the end of it!!!!jeez would hate to see your bad side if thats your charitable one :H

How many horses do you have? no excuse there then for good gardening!!manure on tap.

Hiya ppqp ..how are you ? glad the party went well ..so you dodged all the bullets and stories then?glad to hear it ..back to work today ..brew in hand..have a good one.

right peeps orf we go ..have a great day.......see yawl in the morning









Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and values. Stuart said, "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?" Leroy replied, "I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?

Bill Gates is hanging out with the chairman of General Motors. "If automotive technology had kept pace with computer technology over the past few decades," boasts Gates, "you would now be driving a V-32 instead of a V-8, and it would have a top speed of 10,000 miles per hour. Or, you could have an economy car that weighs 30 pounds and gets a thousand miles to a gallon of gas. In either case, the sticker price of a new car would be less than $50." "Sure," says the GM chairman. "But would you really want to drive a car that crashes four times a day?"

Little Johnny was sitting in his classroom when his teacher asks what sounds animals make. First the teacher asks,"what sound does a cow make?" Susie raises her hand and says moo. "Good job susie" says the teacher. Then she asks what sound does a duck make? Billy raises his hand and says quack. Next the teacher asks what sound a pig makes. Little Johnny raises his hand and says," Get your fat ass out the car, put your hands above your head, and spread your legs!"

A guy stands over his tee shot for what seems an eternity: looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed. Finally his exasperated partner says, "What's taking so long? Hit the damn ball!" The guy answers, "My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot." "Forget it, man," says his partner. "You'll never hit her from here."

Three guys all think that their wives are cheating on them. The first guy thinks his wife is screwing a plumber because he found a tool belt under his bed. The second guy thinks his wife is screwing a judge because he found a robe and gavel under his bed. The third guy says, "That's nothing! I came home and found a cowboy under my bed. I can't believe my wife is screwing a horse."

My wife and I have agreed never to go to bed angry with one another. So far we?ve been up for three weeks.

A man and a woman are lying in bed, watching the ceiling and keep quiet. What are they thinking? The woman thinks, "He keeps quiet. He doesn?t want to talk. May be he?s get tired of me. He doesn?t love me anymore. He?s probably got someone else. I see. We?ll have to separate each other." The man thinks, "A fly. A fly on the ceiling. Wow! How come it stays there and don?t fall?"

My son asked me today, "Dad, what music did you like growing up?" "Led Zeppelin," I replied. "Who?" he said. "Yeah, I liked them too."

A man walks into a bar and says, "Bartender, give me two shots." Bartender says, "You want them both now or one at a time?" The guy says," Oh, I want them both now. One's for me and one's for this little guy here," and he pulls a tiny three inch man out of his pocket. The bartender asks "He can drink?" "Oh, sure. He can drink." So the bartender pours the shots and sure enough, the little guy drinks it all up. "That's amazing" says the bartender. "What else can he do, can he walk?" The man flicks a quarter down to the end of the bar and says, "Hey, Jake. Go get that." The little guy runs down to the end of the bar and picks up the quarter. Then he runs back down and gives it to the man. The bartender is in total shock. "That's amazing" he says, "what else can he do? Does he talk?" The man says "Sure he talks, hey, Jake, tell him about that time we were in Africa and you made fun of that witch doctor's powers!"

Sophie and Shirley, two elderly widows in a Florida adult community, are curious about the latest arrival in their building ? a quiet, nice looking gentleman who keeps to himself. Shirley says, ?Sophie, you know I?m shy. Why don?t you go over to him at the pool and find out a little about him. He looks so lonely.? Sophie agrees, and later that day at the pool, she walks up to him and says, ?Excuse me, mister. I hope I?m not prying, but my friend and I were wondering why you looked so lonely.? ?Of course I?m lonely, he says, ?I?ve spent the past 20 years in prison.? ?You?re kidding! What for?? ?For killing my third wife. I strangled her.? ?What happened to your second wife?? ?I shot her.? ?And, if I may ask, your first wife?? ?We had a fight and she fell off a building.? ?Oh my,? says Sophie. Then turning to her friend on the other side of the pool, she yells, ?Yoo hoo, Shirley. He?s single.?

At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness. ?Isn?t it true,? he bellowed, ?that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?? The witness stared out the window, as though he hadn?t heard the question. ?Isn?t it true that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?? the lawyer repeated. The witness still did not respond. Finally, the judge leaned over and said, ?Sir, please answer the question.? ?Oh,? the startled witness said, ?I thought he was talking to you.?

[bear73]

af Mon 11 November

Morning everyone - it's day 55 here and doing house clean/final prep for the off this evening.OH has to work today so we're travelling up about 7pm to hotel near the airport.I'm soooo excited!!It's 25 degrees out there - lovely

TT - nice to see you,I got a new mattress a few years ago - great investment!I also agree with you about not starting again at day 1 after a long time AF, it almost throws away all of the achievement and diminishes what the person is capable of.

Mick - you're off to the Canaries as well, can't beat it for cheap winter sun,that will come round so quick. I went to Gran Canaria a few years ago, loved the capital, can't remember what it was called now though.I agree re the AF beer - I quite like becks blue,and it's only every so often and early stages when I can't deal with any more diet coke.If I could get diet 7up in bars I'd be sorted!

Det - hope you're feeling ok and not beating yourself up,you can do this and you have done it.

Off to carry on my day of pottering and hanging out with the cats.

[Samstone]

af Mon 11 November

how do all? For me morning here I thinking about TT's question(s). Guess the best answer I can give is that I have gotten sober for sometimes a couple of years at a time. This last time I went on about a 5 year drinking spree that saw my health go south, high blood pressure, shortness of breath, feeling like total shit every morning, living a cycle of hell. To say that we come through ok is not an accurate assessment for everyone. TT i know you're posing a hypothetical scenario, but at least for me, it does not work. My health is at risk if I drink because the last time I started it took SO long to stop again. That one drink is a spiral downward for me. My last "bender" showed me that. That's just me, though. Everyone is different.

[Lavande]

af Mon 11 November

Good morning Abbers!

Cold but sunny, not bad

TT, I was not blaming my family vets. I was simply trying to follow their lead & that was a bad choice for me. My brother ended up with a serious drinking problem himself & has been massively depressed &mean as hell for years. He doesn't want to make any changes, so I can no longer be near him.

Hi Mick! I don't think the Amish are licensed to 'drive' in any way. The accident was at a four-way stop intersection. Perhaps both drivers were at fault but the old lady was definitely driving too fast for conditions & likely blew the stop sign. Pathetic!

bear, wishing you a great vacation. Keep us in your pocket, OK?

Sam, I'm with you on the health risks! For me it's both physical & mental - don't ever want to go there again

Det, hope you are better today!

I do have lots of work going on this week & that's a good thing!
Wishing everyone a wonderful AF Monday!

Lav

[Mick]

af Mon 11 November

bear ...las Palmas

[sunshine_gg]

af Mon 11 November

MAE Fabbies!

Monday, huh? Ack. More rain, too. Double Ack.

Det... I meant up hill in a good way!!! As in opposite of down hill! Very sorry, if that came out wrong. Anyhow, hope you're feeling better today and back on track :l

Thanks Mick, for pointing it out :blush: I'm green with envy. Canaries. Sun. Sigh.

TT.. I've certainly employed 'reward thinking' in the past. Some reward. I've also gone as far as convincing myself that if I 'plan' to drink.. if I make it a conscious decision, it isn't compulsive and therefore OK. Twisted much?

Sam... thanks for sharing. A 5-year bender. I always thought it was a load of crap, the 'I don't know if I have another quit in me'... especially, if you KNOW you can stop. However, my last 'bender' lasted several months as well. Maybe not such a load, after all.

Bear, have a great vacation and soak up some extra VitD for all of us

Lav... that's terrible about the Amish buggy. Well, even more so for the horse. In this day and age (with so many cars on the road) it may be worth while to install some 'buggy lanes' in areas where there's a lot of horse/wagon traffic. Then again, they can't even get bike lanes together out here, where I am... so, buggy lanes are probably out.

I have a dentist appointment after lunch (1/2 hour drive) and may as well get a few things while I'm "in town". As in.. "in a different village" :H I'm planning on getting some fuzzy soft wool to knit some scarfs for the girls for Christmas. That'll pretty much take care of the afternoon and tonight, it's off to an AA meeting.

That's it for me. Better get productive. Have a happy AF day!

[paulywogg]

af Mon 11 November

Mae everybody,i wrote a post to det yesterday but it dissapeared into cyber heaven,just wanted to say it was just a one time thing and you dusted yourself off its done,also it takes balls to be able to come here and be honest about what happened,take care of yourself onto the next 6 months and beyond! i cant tell ifislept good last nite,anybody ever get that?kinda like a sort of doze all nite but not sleep,sleep i dunno maybe i need a new bed too,well off to get ready for work and monday bleh,take care everybody

[Lavande]

af Mon 11 November

There won't be any buggy lanes around here in my lifetime Sunni. Time & everything else moves slowly around here - except the traffic

Pauly, I hope you catch up on sleep tonight

A few snowflakes have been predicted for tomorrow, oh well.

Have a great night all!

[Determinator]

af Mon 11 November

ahoy AB mateys!

made it alive to my hotel room and narry a thought of the nasty liquid on my battered brain happy to say.

thanks again for your kind and thoughtful words, and humor.

TT, for me I know that bad things will happen at least 98% of the time if I take just one. yet somehow, if I'm in the wrong spot at the wrong time and have a lapse of my good reasoning, that 'mistake' can slip in as fast as a left hook and then... bam! I'm on my way down the toilet. at the moment it happens it's like I'm watching my body from another perspective. watching in amazement at taking that first gulp into darkness. a horrifying thing to actually type out. like I'm possessed or something. well I certainly know my brain is messed up. just how to live with it successfully is the goal. I really have to get my stress situation figured out and get my ass back in the gym. two things I know for darn certain.

have a great eve everyone xxxxx

[TheSunFlower]

af Mon 11 November

Mick...I think politicians are the same everywhere. It's nuts what they get away with.

Went to PT today....personally not too impressed with the exercises they gave me to do. I wasn't to sure about the PTs working with me. The exercises were super simple. It seemed like they were more accustomed to working with older people (who are in much worse shape) or an athlete trying to recover from an injury. They did not seem to be well versed in doing something to prevent an injury....more working with people after an injury. It just more irritated me....would you be interested in helping people prevent injuries or is there no money in that?

TT...not sure if I really understood the question. Are you asking when someone relapses how do they justify it? I think much like when we were drinking to excess. People rationalize things in their lives everyday...a drink, a day off, one more drink, a purchase, more drinks, a piece of cake, another drink, another cup of coffee, 10 drinks.....I just have more experience in one area

Det....I totally understood your whole experience of it being like an out of body experience....and it literally happening so fast...I would barely remember buying it....and have it half drank before I even really knew what was happening. Scary shit.

Sam...I never had as long as you did, but I was a professional relapser. One thing I know....if I start again....there is no telling how long I will go on. One day, months, years??? Done 'em all.