MAE everybody ....well how are we all ?Mondays here again....this is post number 2 now by the way !!!You wouldnt beleive that I have been at this for over an hour ...post one was eventually done ...and then decided to take off!!Dont know if anyone else is suffering the same problems but I originally couldnt get on the site,now I can but everything is really slow..so you can imagine that for me!!Just tried to goet on some other sites,and again it is really slow ,so dont know where the problem lies...whether it is outside or the set up in here ..got a funny feeling it is the router..
I wont be here tomorrow,its Amys graduation ,so got to be all up and shiny and on the way tomorrow..surprise surprise Im driving!!Taking Julies mum n Dad ,so guess the car needs a clean ..was out doing my bits n bats with it yesterday..Ok here we go ..round 2 ..tea and coffee on the go
Hiya tt ..how are you ? had a good day at work? have all those issues that were going on been resoled now or is it a case of live and let live?Any plans for Chrimbo?that aint too far away now ...We have got the first decoration up ..dont laugh!!those 2 were out shopping in Manchester yesterday,and the Christmas markets have started,came back with a hedgehog thingy plant holder with a plant in it ..I wil put piccy up later if this puter lets me.
Hiya Sun....hows the cold doing?...more to the point hows the mess after the hurricane that you so kindly volunteered to take on landed?Not many people at your meeting ? wonder if its the time or season of the year...coming up to the season of festivities, wonder if there is a tendency for af people to hedge their bets,and also people wanting to quit sort of saying ..do it after New Year?any ideas anyone? I digress ..have a great day.
Hiya Pauly ...how you doing? the beer monster not trying to jump into your head any more?good for you girl....Yep we have been threatened with the white stuff all week so will let you know when it lands ...this morning its ice rain fog..work that one out!!
Mornin Lav ..cuppa for you?what do you mean your teens dont last?course they do ..I at present am fifty seventeen.How did the house do with the twin tornadoes?You and sunshine both...tidy up during the week ...then havoc descends on the weekend ,then start again time..thats why Im glad Amy is a midwife ..she can have as many kids as she wants ...then hand them back :H
Tomorrow for me is a suit job ......used to wear them all the time to work ,,but try my best not to now so need to make sure Im scrubbed up nice n shiny!!Right ..moi off for another brew ..you have a great day
right peeps have a good one c yawl
A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.
?Careful,? he said, ?CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You?re cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my gosh! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They?re going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you?re cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don?t forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the! Salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!?
The wife stared at him. ?What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don?t know how to fry a couple of eggs??
The husband calmly replied, ?I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I?m driving.
Wife: Why do you go out in the balcony, when I start singing.
Husband: Because the people would think I am beating you.
1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn?t much, but the reception was excellent.
2. It?s not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn?t have the balls to do it.
3. There was once a cross-eyed teacher who couldn?t control his pupils.
4. The one who invented the door knocker got a No-bell prize.
5. He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends.
6. Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I?ll show you A-flat minor.
7. A bicycle can?t stand on its own because it is two-tired.
8. Some people?s noses and feet are built backwards: their feet smell and their noses run.
9. Sleeping comes so naturally to me, I could do it with my eyes closed.
10. What is the difference between a nicely dressed man on a tricycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle? A tire.
A couple was having a discussion about what to see and do now that they were safely in Florida on their honeymoon.
Trying to assert himself right off the bat, the man exploded, ?If it wasn?t for my money, we wouldn?t be here at all?!
The wife calmly replied, ?My dear, if it wasn?t for your money, neither would we be in Florida or on a honeymoon, nor would there even be any ?we? in the first place.?
A Stockbroker walks into the dentist and asks for a quote for getting a tooth pulled out.
?Well,? said the dentist, ?That depends on the level of service. If you want to go private we can give you the very best and latest in dental treatment. We get an anesthetist in from the local hospital, and I get two very skilled, and pretty, dental nurses to help out. Guaranteed no pain, no blood.?
?Sounds good,? said the man, ?how much??
??200 per tooth.?
?That?s extortionate!?
?Well,? said the dentist, ?We can give you standard NHS treatment. I do the anaesthetic myself ? no nurses. You get a little bit of pain and a little bit of blood, but it?ll only cost you ?20.?
?No, that?s still too dear. Can you not do it a bit cheaper??
?Tell you what,? said the dentist, getting angry, ?I could get a pair of pliers from B&Q and do a homer for you. No anaesthetic. Guaranteed very painful ? lots of blood. Your mouth will hurt for three months and you?ll struggle to talk for at least two. I?d do it for ?5 and take pleasure in it.?
?OK, you got yourself a deal? book my wife in for next Tuesday.?
A young man at college in want of twenty-five dollars wrote to his uncle as follows:
?Dear Uncle.?If you could see how I blush for shame while I am writing, you would pity me. Do you know why? Because I have to ask you for a few dollars, and do not know how to express myself. It is impossible for me to tell you. I prefer to die. I send you this by messenger, who will wait for an answer. Believe me, my dearest uncle, your most obedient and affectionate nephew.
?P.S.?Overcome with shame for what I have written, I have been running after the messenger in order to take the letter from him, but I cannot catch him. Heaven grant that something may happen to stop him, or that this letter may get lost.?
The uncle was naturally touched, but was equal to the emergency. He replied as follows:
?My Dear Jack?Console yourself and blush no more. Providence has heard your prayers. The messenger lost your letter. Your affectionate uncle.?
I wont be here tomorrow,its Amys graduation ,so got to be all up and shiny and on the way tomorrow..surprise surprise Im driving!!Taking Julies mum n Dad ,so guess the car needs a clean ..was out doing my bits n bats with it yesterday..Ok here we go ..round 2 ..tea and coffee on the go
Hiya tt ..how are you ? had a good day at work? have all those issues that were going on been resoled now or is it a case of live and let live?Any plans for Chrimbo?that aint too far away now ...We have got the first decoration up ..dont laugh!!those 2 were out shopping in Manchester yesterday,and the Christmas markets have started,came back with a hedgehog thingy plant holder with a plant in it ..I wil put piccy up later if this puter lets me.
Hiya Sun....hows the cold doing?...more to the point hows the mess after the hurricane that you so kindly volunteered to take on landed?Not many people at your meeting ? wonder if its the time or season of the year...coming up to the season of festivities, wonder if there is a tendency for af people to hedge their bets,and also people wanting to quit sort of saying ..do it after New Year?any ideas anyone? I digress ..have a great day.
Hiya Pauly ...how you doing? the beer monster not trying to jump into your head any more?good for you girl....Yep we have been threatened with the white stuff all week so will let you know when it lands ...this morning its ice rain fog..work that one out!!
Mornin Lav ..cuppa for you?what do you mean your teens dont last?course they do ..I at present am fifty seventeen.How did the house do with the twin tornadoes?You and sunshine both...tidy up during the week ...then havoc descends on the weekend ,then start again time..thats why Im glad Amy is a midwife ..she can have as many kids as she wants ...then hand them back :H
Tomorrow for me is a suit job ......used to wear them all the time to work ,,but try my best not to now so need to make sure Im scrubbed up nice n shiny!!Right ..moi off for another brew ..you have a great day
right peeps have a good one c yawl
A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.
?Careful,? he said, ?CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You?re cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my gosh! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They?re going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you?re cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don?t forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the! Salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!?
The wife stared at him. ?What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don?t know how to fry a couple of eggs??
The husband calmly replied, ?I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I?m driving.
Wife: Why do you go out in the balcony, when I start singing.
Husband: Because the people would think I am beating you.
1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn?t much, but the reception was excellent.
2. It?s not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn?t have the balls to do it.
3. There was once a cross-eyed teacher who couldn?t control his pupils.
4. The one who invented the door knocker got a No-bell prize.
5. He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends.
6. Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I?ll show you A-flat minor.
7. A bicycle can?t stand on its own because it is two-tired.
8. Some people?s noses and feet are built backwards: their feet smell and their noses run.
9. Sleeping comes so naturally to me, I could do it with my eyes closed.
10. What is the difference between a nicely dressed man on a tricycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle? A tire.
A couple was having a discussion about what to see and do now that they were safely in Florida on their honeymoon.
Trying to assert himself right off the bat, the man exploded, ?If it wasn?t for my money, we wouldn?t be here at all?!
The wife calmly replied, ?My dear, if it wasn?t for your money, neither would we be in Florida or on a honeymoon, nor would there even be any ?we? in the first place.?
A Stockbroker walks into the dentist and asks for a quote for getting a tooth pulled out.
?Well,? said the dentist, ?That depends on the level of service. If you want to go private we can give you the very best and latest in dental treatment. We get an anesthetist in from the local hospital, and I get two very skilled, and pretty, dental nurses to help out. Guaranteed no pain, no blood.?
?Sounds good,? said the man, ?how much??
??200 per tooth.?
?That?s extortionate!?
?Well,? said the dentist, ?We can give you standard NHS treatment. I do the anaesthetic myself ? no nurses. You get a little bit of pain and a little bit of blood, but it?ll only cost you ?20.?
?No, that?s still too dear. Can you not do it a bit cheaper??
?Tell you what,? said the dentist, getting angry, ?I could get a pair of pliers from B&Q and do a homer for you. No anaesthetic. Guaranteed very painful ? lots of blood. Your mouth will hurt for three months and you?ll struggle to talk for at least two. I?d do it for ?5 and take pleasure in it.?
?OK, you got yourself a deal? book my wife in for next Tuesday.?
A young man at college in want of twenty-five dollars wrote to his uncle as follows:
?Dear Uncle.?If you could see how I blush for shame while I am writing, you would pity me. Do you know why? Because I have to ask you for a few dollars, and do not know how to express myself. It is impossible for me to tell you. I prefer to die. I send you this by messenger, who will wait for an answer. Believe me, my dearest uncle, your most obedient and affectionate nephew.
?P.S.?Overcome with shame for what I have written, I have been running after the messenger in order to take the letter from him, but I cannot catch him. Heaven grant that something may happen to stop him, or that this letter may get lost.?
The uncle was naturally touched, but was equal to the emergency. He replied as follows:
?My Dear Jack?Console yourself and blush no more. Providence has heard your prayers. The messenger lost your letter. Your affectionate uncle.?
:goodjob:
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