af Monday 25 November

[treetops]

MAE - I am back home now from my trip and conference. Very cold here today and like Sam, I have had the wood burner going. Daughter and I am home today - I was working from home and she is now on holidays for 2 months.

Seems like we had a few of us (except me) turn into domestic goddesses over the weekend. That includes you Sam and you too Mick:H:H
Although Mick - you didn't post on Sunday did you? Hope you are OK.

Sun- congrats on your 31+ days. Thats great. Another 30 coming up but just take it slow and easy - ODAAT.

Lav - what can I say about chicken shit? Hope its all done now.

Bear - sad to let old friends go. But you have made the right decision - it speaks volumes to her insecurity . Even our very best friendships sometimes have their use-by date. Or behaviour we can tolerate at one stage of our life - may become unacceptable. For example, when I had newborn baby I chose to spend less time with some old friends who were quite rude about this and could not understand why I was not interested and had no energy to listen for hours to details about their self-centred lives.

Patrice - how has the day been?

Pauly - hope you had a great Sunday and that Monday is going well.

Det - are you still in the dark place? Take care and don't cut yourself off. Try to get some rest and sleep and good food.

Yah, Cinders - are you ladies OK? Haven't seen you much lately here Cinders but I guess you are busy.

SF - hope you weekend went well and that all is calm and under control. Good advice you gave to Det.

PPQP - do we need to send out a search party to dig you out from the ice and snow? I suspect not as you Canucks are pretty awesome when it comes to Arctic conditions -unlike us sub-tropical flowers alm: even if we had to light a fire today!:H

Better go folks as it ain't breakfast time here but din-dins and I have to return to being the domestic goddess we all know!

Have a great sober Monday!

[narilly]

af Monday 25 November

Hello everyone! (This is reposted from yesterday cause I posted while TT was starting today's thread)
Still AF today after the Grey Cup party. Saskatchewan won so that was good. (Some of you may have to google that!)
Welcome Patrice, I find moderating too difficult myself also. I was thinking that today at the party, it's way easier to drink Perrier and pig out than worry about how many glassss of wine I've had.
Bear, I think it's time to weed your garden. No need for 'friends' that treat you like that. Keep your positive ones and get rid of those weeds!
31days Sunshine, high five! You said it Pauly.
Sam,you have a wood stove? Cool.
Hey TT, crap food is better than alcohol, so that's good.
Lavande, have fun taking care of those chickens.
Det- hang in there

Well, I got through the weekend AF. I find it gets harder the longer I don't have a drink. But, one day at a time. I will wake up with no hang over tomorrow.
Talk soon,

[narilly]

af Monday 25 November

It's after 10pm and I'm getting up at 5:30 so good night everyone. Have a great AF day.

[bear73]

af Monday 25 November

morning Narilly and TT - thanks for the words,feel sad about it but I've tried to talk to her 3 times, she blanked one attempt, another she said call me, so I did she said she was ill(she wasn't) and we can talk when we go camping(which meant I was stuck in field in middle of nowhere v her and other friend who was sharing my car,so no way out).
We went camping and she point blank refused saying she never wanted to talk about it.
I feel sad about it but it will leave me time and energy for good stuff and people in my life.AND it's made me reflect on my life and how I behave and that I often felt on the outside of groups,and that I avoid conflict/want to avoid a scene at great costs,and spend too much time people pleasing - so there's learning too.

First day back at work today after 2 weeks off, I'm not hugely looking forward to it - but I am lucky to be able to have 2 weeks off paid, I have really relaxed.I'm also really really lucky in that my company closes between Christmas and New Year so I have almost another 2 weeks off in just over 4 weeks time. This hasn't been the best end to the weekend in some ways, but in other ways it has been very fitting - made me reflect and move on and reach a conclusion.I'm going in a bit late today as we have flex time,so off to gym for my walk/run and weights circuit.

Det - I hope you do see GP and get some support.I'm sending you positive vibes across the Atlantic.

I am on day 7 here now, have a great day everyone.

[patrice]

af Monday 25 November

Hi all, ( sorry still getting used to everyone's names)

TT my day was good.. didn't have a lot of sleep last night but I know the drill, it will come.

Well just to let you all know, I will probably be posting at different times than the rest of you because I live in Asia and the time diff between here and the UK is 9 hours, NZ 4 hours and the US .. I don't know??
So We've got all the globe covered....
It's day 2 for me and I feel positive but then again I always do in the beginning..This time I don't think I will fixate on the counting of days.. What do you all think? I've always done that before and it's been really encouraging but once Ive reached a certain point I let my guard down and tell myself my mind and body have healed. My body may have healed but from what I have read it takes a lot longer for the mind to develop different pathways..
I hope you all have a great day/ night (TT)
x
Patrice

[Mick]

af Monday 25 November

hiya all..I dont believe this...just finished the post and deleted it!!!!trying to be too smart!!!about 4 different boxes opened up at the same time and closed the wrong ones!!oh well quick repost ...
hiya tt ..how are you?must be cold down under if you have got the wood stove on !!

Hiya Patrice ..welcome to you ..well at least you know that modding isnt for you..in a way its alot easier ..theres no more if when why and how much you can drink..its a straight no ...stick with us ..yuo will make it !!..thats 2 of you now ..is this a take over by the downey unders??:H

Hiya Sam ..how are you ? are you stillout surveying ..or has the weather stopped all that?

Sunshine ..the domestic goddess ..and how are you today ?take it the homestead is spick and span?hows the baking going? what is you have been baking?

Hi Det ..how are you today my friend ? hope you are better...think its a bit more than the old booze that is getting to you mate ..think you need some" you" time..have you talked to your good lady?

Hiya Pauly wolly ..and how are you? ok I hope ..hows the sleep fairy been behaving with you? and the sinus?

Hiya Lav ....big hot brew ..keep you warm ..any plans for today?me Ive got to get the cases out of the loft ..offski on Saturday to warmer climes ..and also got to finish off the bedroom.

Hiya bear ...along lifes path we make many acquaintances..and few friends ...friendship is like any other relationship ...caring sharing ,understanding not always agreeing but putting up with , respect..how many of those boxes do you think your friend could tick?why not just ask her straight out what the issue is ? at least then you will know if you chooses not to talk to you ..hey endex move on

Narilly ..dont know what the grey cup is ...but it sounds like the excuse for a p...up ..so well done you for staying out of it!!

right peeps ..gotta go its 1100 am ..have a great day all here you go ..the view from the 2 bedrooms ..original and the one we have just moved into ..which would you have?

[patrice]

af Monday 25 November

Hi Mick...well Molly called me ' New Zealandish' I love it
Yes back to the ODAT for me. Day 2 is fine but wow I am in such an awful mood.. the slightest annoyance and I'm hitting the roof. One good thing about having been on this road for a while is that I have learnt finally that drinking would NOT make that bad mood go away so I haven;t even thought about it tonight...
Off to bed now, have a great MAE !!
Take care
Patrice
x

[Mick]

af Monday 25 November

hiya Patrice..actually when I was drinking ..I was a narky little shit,and when I was quitting likewise ,but nowadays it doesnt really bother me as much...which is good ..keeps the blood pressure down ...then costs less for tablets!!!:H.you can take the Scot out of Scotland ..but you cant take Scotland out of the Scot!!!!

Bear.....your post ..just read it again..Visited old uni friends - has been very difficult with one of them,I feel criticised,she bites my head off constantly,rants about things I am interested in/jobs I have done and I feel is trying to get arise out of me and I am being sidelined by her when I visit - have tried to talk to her several times and she has refused.It's school girl bullying and I've had enough.

Actually in plain speak .com..looks like you have already tried..so this is what I would do ..just me now .I would get in touch with her and say that you have noticed her attitude towards you ,and that having been given the chance to explain she couldnt be bothered..obviously didnt value our friendship as much as you did,but you aint prepared to put up with it and that as far as the friendship goes,no rhyme or reason to her attitude but as far as you feel ,due to her attitude ,you have now reached Wichita with it all. (Wichita ...end of the line!!)

[Lavande]

af Monday 25 November

Good morning Abbers!

Very cold here, 16 degrees F this morning, BRRRRR!!!

Greetings TT, glad you are back home & settled in! What does your daughter do during her 2 month vacation time from school? That was a difficult time to fill when the kids were in their teens, I remember.

Greetings Narilly, bear & Patrice!
I hope you are all having a good Monday

Mick, your view is nice!
There's a row of white pines across the back end of my property & that's pretty much all I see from my window. They've grown so big over the past 10 years they completely block any view of the two houses sitting behind them.

Patrice, hang in there, moods improve & a little meditation goes a long way!

Today is my son's BD, Thursday is my grandson's BD & Thanksgiving so it's a busy week around here!
Wishing everyone a wonderful AF day!

Lav

[paulywogg]

af Monday 25 November

Mae everbody,mick definitely the second pic i dont think ive ever seen so much green its gorgeous! i kinda have the monday blues today bleh,trying to put a postive attitude on,narilly you hit the nail on the head when you wrote it gets harder the more days without al,thats exactly how i get why?i keep hearing over and over that it gets easier the longer we abstain,but it seems for me its the opposite,gosh that just sounds so negative but its the pattern ive been doing,dunno why,anyways hope everybody has a good monday p.s check in Det,worried about you

[Mick]

af Monday 25 November

Pauly hiya...yep it gets harder then easier eventually

[bear73]

af Monday 25 November

Thanks Mick - plan at moment is just to let it fade,without making a statement.she texted me today to say she had nice time/see if I got back ok - smacks of someone testing the water. Just stepping back - it's a pointless drain of energy. I'm happy to be AF as everything feels worse when pissed/hungover.I'm also happy I went for my run/walk at the gym this am.Determined to get fit,healthy (mentally as well) and slim!

[treetops]

af Monday 25 November

I agree with Mick - it gets easier the longer you quit. It really does. But this Takes more than a few months and so you have to really watch the first few months - and just ride it out.

Pauly - if you want green, New Zealand is the place! Mick's views are a desert compared to what we get here!!!!

Lav - daughter reckons she has the 2 months sorted. She is into art and last night did some oil painting. Also into sewing. Then there will be meeting up with her friends - I am not sure whats happening in the boyfriend front - all gone quiet there.
You enjoy your birthdays.

Looks like I might have to light the fire again today (its Tuesday already).

Mick - where are the warmer climes you head off to?

[treetops]

af Monday 25 November

Sounds like a good strategy Bear.
You don't need tension and energy zapping - especially if you are trying to stay off the booze. Yes being AF does make dealing with messy situations easier - I find I obsess much much less and just get on with things.

[narilly]

af Monday 25 November

I know that when I drink I feel worse about Everything. So far it is 24 days for me, which is not that long but at the same time it is.
Its interesting but my drinking has affected my hubby's. He is drinking way less himself. It sure has been good for both of us. Its good for ALL of us! TT, Bear, Mick, Pauly, Lavande, Patrice, Det. Thank you for your support.

Mick- I know you asked about my drinking story. Well I started when I was 12 just having 1/2 a beer with my friend a few times and we got a buzz. It was awesome, I thought. From there in our teens, it was mostly binge drinking on the weekends. I was in a car accident when I was 17, 4 girls, we were drinking and my best friend was killed. I was hauled off to counselling and alcohol counsellors, but of course, I had no problem!
SO I kept drinking in university, binge drinking, going to caberets etc. I had to leave university because of low marks and finally went back and finished- did not party so much and was more careful about it.
I got married, met hubby in the bar, we were both drunk. Didn't drink when pregnant and not much when kids were little but then stared up again about 10 years ago.

Now this whole wine drinking culture really appeals to me and I have been drinking wine with my friends for 10 years. I lose control once in awhile(quite often). Probably hungover every week on Saturday morning. I have a million stories of stupid things I have done in the past 10 years and all the shame etc. I went to AA probably about 10 times on 3 separate occasions over the past 10 years.
Nov 1st I drank with the girls, lots of wine, not sure how much and could hardly get out of bed Saturday. That was IT!
No more. Just reading my story you would wonder how I would ever think I could drink again, but those thoughts come into my head still.

I will post later, gotta get back to work. Stay strong everyone!:h