Ladies on a Mission Week 3

[j-vo]

I'm starting the new week! Please read the last threads from this morning and last night on Week 2. NS had some excellent thought-provoking questions for us Ladies. I think I'll copy and paste here in week 2. :groupluv:

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission Week 3

Oh, btw, that's us at SL's slumber party!

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission Week 3

NoSugar's post from week 2:

It is so good to see that some of our missing members have returned !

You've come right back after drinking, which is great - the addictive patterns will get re-established so quickly if you don't disrupt them immediately, making quitting again as hard or harder than last time.

We need to bring in one of Byrdie's quotes here - "no matter what and no matter who". To get this done, the choice has to be not to drink no matter what holiday or party, no matter what someone else does or doesn't do, no matter what - that option just has to be off the table if your goal is to be completely free of this addiction.

If harm reduction is your goal, the occasional reliance on alcohol may not be the problem I think it is. Personally, repeatedly starting over became so psychologically damaging that I couldn't stand it anymore.

So, what is your true goal? What is required to attain it? What needs to change to accomplish it?

How can we help ?

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission Week 3

Morning Ladies,
Off work today, as the Monday after Thanksgiving is a big day for hunters. So I'm grateful I can sit quietly (just dropped son off at basketball practice) and reflect more on my program. Yes, I slipped this weekend, too. I went to a bar/restaurant that my husband and I have been going to for years. Actually, this restaurant has been around since the mid 60's! Used to go all the time with dear grandparents. Well, the AL voice must have been in my head somewhere, although I don't recall much. But I drank without even giving any respect to the 40 days I remained AF. My trigger...it has to be that this particular restaurant was a place we drank together. I'm afraid that I will not be able to go back there for a long time. The night wasn't a big party, social event or anything like that. It was a quick, let's go get wings after I get my tattoo. So I must be vigilant not only with the big celebrations, but also with the small, romantic places that I was close with AL. Al will ruin me, as he doesn't care for me! I will not pour poison down my throat anymore.

NS, thanks for those thought-provoking questions. I needed to ponder over my slip, and every time I do, it solidifies what I need to do in my program.

Available, send your boys over to this dirty house! What good boys!!!!! I wish it were hot here. I love warm weather. You're in your summer now? I'm jealous! Never give up, dear. And get those pics on here! I'd love to see them. I'm on Day 2 here as well. Let's do this!

Running, as you probably read, I caved this weekend as well. But I had more than a few glasses. Glad you're back on board with us. I'm going to walk on my treadmill today and you're gonna run!

Patrice, sorry about your breakup. That has to be really difficult. But you sound great today, in a good place. We're here for ya! And like you said, you would have gone on a bender, but you didn't. That's progress. Any progress we can make, any measureable steps forward is good. Don't ever discount that.

Freefly, Reinforce the mindset...Let's do this. Let's be accountable to one another. I think this journey is all about reinforcing the mindset. Everyday. Everyday, I will say, "I will not drink today." ODAAT.

SL, can't wait to hear about your beautiful night's sleep!

To all the other ladies, have a wonderful Monday. I'll check back later.

[Dottie Belle]

Ladies on a Mission Week 3

Hello ladies,
I am coming up on 100 days and have been thinking about why this time was different than the many other day 1's that I I have had.
This time I made a total commitment and what I mean by that is, I sat down with hubby and told him that this was it...we cant go to wine tasting or have wind with dinner..drinking is off the table, literally. I reminded him of some of my drunken rants and mis behavior so after all that I think he has a better understanding. Not perfect but better.
Next I read everything I could find..when I had a craving I would come here and post, cry or rant and the act of writing it down helped me a lot. I also would read all the posts. Didnt matter which thread it was just reading the posts of folks struggleing or old timers that had more wise advice...it was just being here.
I also have a couple of other recovery sited I frequent. I will share if u PM me, but I read there too..I think I searched out ALL the help I could find..
Emailed my drinking buddies and told them I quit...email was easier...but they were supportive...so that was another good thing....
So that is how I think this time I have finally gotten it and I know each and every one of you can get it too....failing to plan is planning to fail...or something like that..
WE can do this!!!!

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission Week 3

Thanks Dottie! Well done on your upcoming 100!!!! That's awesome! And you're right about the planning thing. I agree wholeheartedly. I've been on others sites as well, just to read. I've a voracious reader and I've pulled out many of the hundreds of books I've read in the past. I need to keep myself current on issues. Need to keep reminding myself of how life was, compared to AF life. That's a freakin' no brainer, one would think...but the alkie in us tells us different. As far as the buddies go, at my age, if a friend wouldn't accept that I didn't drink, then they're not a true friend. My true friends love me for who I am and not what I drink. I can say that I've told three of my closest and dearest friends as well as my immediate family. They couldn't be happier for me. Why? Because they've seen me struggle and hurting.

[Dottie Belle]

Ladies on a Mission Week 3

j-vo at my age too they are not really drinking buddies but rather friends/family that I would have a few with when visiting...my OLD drinking buddies are long gone out of my life ....
And I read books on line and hard back..I have a great library in the basement..guess I figured if I purchased the books it would help me...like exercise books....the think I neglected to get is u actually have to READ them and learn/practice what they have to teach us....go figure..

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission Week 3

Haha Dottie! What a concept!

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission Week 3

Hi Girls,
I have been trying to catch up on all your posts. you gals have a lot to say! lol
Patrice- sorry for the Break up but it sounds like you learned something from it as far as dealing with it goes. I used to use sadness and bad events as an excuse to drink but then I stopped because I knew that was wrong. So I would say "I am sad, but that is not why I am drinking, I'm drinking because I want to" and then I would drink anyway. Some twisted thinking there!

Running- get back on that horse! We support you!
NS, Freefly, lets keep reinforcing each other. thanks for being here.

SL- I loved the slumber party! How are you enjoying your bed?
Dottie- nice to read your posts. 100 days would be great! I am on day 32 and plan to make 100.

Ladyofmaine stared this thread for the first week and I haven't heard from her. LadyOMaine- come back!
J-Lo- I love to read books too. There are piles of them around my room. I am usually reading a few at t time, I think I have some sort of ADD....and lately I am spending alot of time reading the MWO site which is great.
Love Byrdie's quote:
"no matter what and no matter who". To get this done, the choice has to be not to drink no matter what holiday or party, no matter what someone else does or doesn't do, no matter what - that option just has to be off the table if your goal is to be completely free of this addiction.

That is an awesome quote- I believe this line of thinking but my thoughts still waiver and I think I can have a drink. Hopefully soon that will pass.

You ladies Rock!

[scottish lass]

Ladies on a Mission Week 3

Good grief - what happened when I was in bed! So many posts.
Quick check in as back to old grindstone.
Did not sleep that well, but didn't really expect too - have to adjust to the change, but i believe it will come! I also did not take my calms forte which have been working for me recently, so probably totally jinxed myself there.
Good to see everyone - those getting their days in a row, and those managing to come straight back - well done all!
Thinking of you for tonight FF - I know you can do this....

[available]

Ladies on a Mission Week 3

Morning all, well for me it is. just a quick check in to say i woke up sober, i plan on staying sober and so good to wake without a hangover.

Another warm day here so I plan on going for a walk at lunch time and enjoying the sun and life in general. Will be back on later today at work to catch up, so much going on.

Have a lovely day/night friends. Without you guys I would not be back to day 3 so i thank you guys.

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission Week 3

Available, we are here for you AND we are all here for each other. Have a nice walk. I am a little jealous since it is -14C here right now but I did go for a walk in our +15 system. We have a great system that connects most of the buildings downtown by enclosed bridges so we don't have to go outside in freezing weather. It is great when the weather sucks, like this week.
Available, day 3 tomorrow day 4.....
Talk later. xo

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission Week 3

Good Afternoon, Ladies on a Mission.

After a brief flirtation with (completely disastrous) moderation, I am back. I have enjoyed reading this thread and would love to join you on this journey. Right now I am anxious, tired and full of GSR, but I am working on gratitude and forgiveness as was recommended by Lav and Byrdie. It will be a lot of work and a long road, but I will walk it one day at a time.

So, here I am, Day 1.

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission Week 3

Welcome Pavati!
We are all in this together and will help you along your journey. :welcome:

I too have been trying to moderate since I joined and even before that and it never worked. I still have thoughts that I can moderate BUT I know I can't. We have to just move on from our AL days and become AF.
We are AF and happy, right?!
:l Big hug and thank you for joining us.

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission Week 3

This is a really nice thread, Pavati. Glad you want to join in! Tomorrow will be a better day (it has to be, right ?). I saw you decided to record your feelings about today. It will be a hard read for you sometime in your AF future but a great reminder of how far you will have come.