Ladies on a Mission Week 3

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission Week 3

Acadiaofmaine,
Yes, yes, yes! I actually have discussed this with them many times. I have told them I have a real problem with controlling my intake. Once I have one glass of wine it is difficult for me to stop. I tell them to be careful because they might have the same thing as me. Now, after Nov 1 when I lectured my son about smoking pot when I was drunk, the day after I told him that that was it. I was not going to drink again. This is a big reason why I cannot and won't drink again. Try my best anyway.
Honestly, I am just like you, I always thought they didn't really notice, they just thought I drank too much once in awhile.
You can just say that you have a little trouble with control and that you need to be really careful, that you would rather not drink. Maybe that would work? Your kids might be grateful for your honesty.
My kids are 17 and 18.
Be strong AofM! You know you are

[acadiaofmaine]

Ladies on a Mission Week 3

narilly,

Thank you, that's very helpful. I just got freaked out today at the meeting I attended where everyone says "I'm an alcoholic." I don't know that I want to label myself that way to my family. To myself, ok. I am very frightened I would lose my family's respect (though obviously if I keep drinking, I"ll lose it for sure!) However, my therapist believes they might see it as a strength. I just don't know, but for now, the middle ground as you described it makes complete sense!

Wrapping up Day 2!

Ann

[K9Lover]

Ladies on a Mission Week 3

My daughter has known since she was 12. She is now 16. I'm very open and honest (brutally so) about how bad I was. She knows. She even told me on Monday night that she used to hear me vomiting every night and morning. I said "Yep, I was bad and I never want to go back there". She's told me other things I did too, and I just reply that yes, I drank too much and it wasn't good. There's nothing she can say that I would deny, it's all true, and then some. But at least it's in the past.

[acadiaofmaine]

Ladies on a Mission Week 3

K9,

Well, your daughter will all the healthier for having you be honest with her. It's great. I really have to look at my stupid and misplaced pride! I guess at a certain point, one can't deny the truth! Lots to deal with when you first admit it all, to yourself and then others.

Ann

[K9Lover]

Ladies on a Mission Week 3

Ann - I've found that by being honest with my problems and mistakes, it makes it easier for her to believe that I do understand what she's going through when she hits a rough patch. You know how most teenagers think their parents "just don't understand"...well mine knows that I DO...because I've been through my own crap. She also knows how HARD it was for me to get (and stay) sober, so I have a really good case when she wants to give up on anything. Being able to show them by example (and not just words) is the key. Your kids will see in time what you have accomplished if you just stick with it.

[acadiaofmaine]

Ladies on a Mission Week 3

K9,

I am going to stick with it. I have a lot of feelings to unravel. A lot. It's not a simple thing, getting sober! But I'm good to go. Thank you for your help and availability!



Ann

[HumbleRider]

Ladies on a Mission Week 3

Thanks everyone for your congrats on my 30 days and condolences on my son's death.

Which brings up Acadia's question to us. About all I would say to my son (a lot) was to watch the alcohol consumption since alcohol abuse runs in both sides of the family. He listened and turned out not to be a drinker. I was a single-parent from the time he was 4 until he was 14. I didn't come out and say to him "I'm an alcoholic," not so much out of pride (since I believe he could see the obvious even though I was an admin/educator professional, functioning drunk) but because I wanted him to think that in spite of it, I was still strong and confident enough to take care of him and to protect him. I felt that if I were to openly announce weakness in any form, he would feel it necessary to be the caretaker. I tried my best to make sure he didn't have to feel like he didn't have anyone to be his protector and to keep him safe. I now cringe at the thought that he may have been awake at night, scared in his bed, thinking if something happened, who could he rely on if mom had too many glasses of wine. I hope he didn't, but now it's too late to ask him.

Have a great MAE everyone. Keep those stories coming. Both yours and mine help me to keep focused on no alcohol. I still don't drink!

[scottish lass]

Ladies on a Mission Week 3

Hi - so much to read! I have just skimmed thru.
HR - sorry about your son - he would be proud of your 30 days for sure!
Ann - I have a 12 year old and a 15 year old - my 12 year old knows the green dots are days I don't drink on the calendar. They do not know how bad it was. They do know I am trying not to drink or cut back because I feel better for it. They know my parents drink and don't like grammie when she has had too much. I mentioned (after j-vo told me) that J-Lo doesn't drink, and my 15 year old responded by saying she was never going to drink...
So I think they are aware, but we don't make a big deal of it. At Thanksgiving my daughter did say that looks like a nice glass of wine, I said it is sprakling pomegranate juice, and she was happy with that!
Well three weeks today - getting closer.....
See you all in a bit, got to go get stuff done!

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission Week 3

Humble, just want to say, YOU are an amazing woman. I see your unbelievable strength and am proud to 'know' you. So glad you are part of our mission.

SL, I am the same way, I don't make a big deal of it. I just don't drink AL now. Pomegranate juice, soda, Perrier are my faves now. Oh, and licorice tea!
Whatever works for you Acadia.
Saturday I am going to SMART and I will let you know how that goes. Any extra support is good.
Hugs,

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission Week 3

:headbanger:OMG! I lost a whole post!

I'm really angry!!!!! Ok, I talked about communicating with the children thing and in a nutshell, I'm going to have that talk as alcoholism runs in both my husbands and my families. My son's 16, has seen me in pretty bad shape, he knows I went to AA years ago, became annoyed as I was always gone. So I'd like to get more time under my belt before I do this.

I had so much more and I'm sad now...have a good night.

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission Week 3

:crapamn...

[available]

Ladies on a Mission Week 3

Did it to me this morning Jvo, not impressed sigh.

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission Week 3

J-Vo thanks for posting, that sucks you lost your first post. I love reading your posts. You have a great perspective on things and really make me laugh!
Have a great sleep Hun.
Xo

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission Week 3

You too Available? Maybe we are burning this thread up we have so much to say.

I am really looking forward to missing my company Christmas party this weekend. Hubby and I are taking care of our niece and nephew instead. What a nice a AF evening. I would have never done that before. I would have been at the party with bells on and if I was taking care of my niece and nephew I would have had some wine for sure.
Hugs

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission Week 3

Oh, Narilly, I had a good one for ya. I proved this evening I don't have to drink to be a stupid klutz! I'll have to save it for another day... But I totally get your curtain wall. There are curtain walls. It's the new thing in houses these days.

Running, we need to take care of ourselves first if we are to take care of our loved ones.

Ann, I agree about the new good behavior first, let it speak for itself, but I'm going to add that later, when I have more time under my belt, I will have a talk with my son.

K9, brutally honest is what I'm learning about. I like what you said "it's a good case when she wants to give up on anything."

Humble, another educator! Ha! That was our excuse for drinking! I knew it...Na, it's more like, "I'm an alcoholic."

Congrats on three weeks Humble!

Ok, ladies, I'm off to bed. Still crying like a big baby about that post, but hey, tomorrow's another sober day.