Ladies on a Mission Week 3

[available]

Ladies on a Mission Week 3

MAE all, well today is Friday here and just another AF day, feels good to say that. I did wonder how I would get my head around the end of the week but it is just another day in the life of being AF.

Glad your "do" went well Free. We go to lunch at my work and no one will notice if I dont drink or care. There are only about 8 of us so it is a quiet one which suits me fine and always the excuse of I have to drive.

Jvo, yep does sound anal lol but i am a very unorganised person, rely on my memory which i am not sure is a good idea at my young age but i refuse to be old enough to have a diary lol.

Have a great day/night everyone and will be on here once i get to work. Not getting as much work done but hey it can wait.

[K9Lover]

Ladies on a Mission Week 3

Hi Ladies!

SL - I have been using stickers on calendars for years...something feels good about putting up a new sticker each day, and looking over and seeing the calendar FULL. I now have a "quit smoking" calendar that has 4 stickers on it already! I am a bit obsessed with calendars and stickers...even have one for the dogs medication. LOL

I am taking this afternoon off...gonna go home and take a nice nap!

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission Week 3

Hi, Ladies

How is each of your missions going?

I made it to an exercise class again today and realized what is so totally different from before.

Often last fall when I would go to a class, all I thought about the whole time was how I could arrange it so that later that evening I wouldn't drink or would have just one glass of wine. How I wouldn't do something so at odds with being a fit, healthy person -- wouldn't undo whatever good I was doing by working out. All of the same old-same old arguments played over and over in my head. I would make a specific plan for that day and try to feel resolved about it but always at the back of my mind I just knew that none of it was true. I knew that by about 4 pm or so, I would fail and I would be drinking.

Maybe reaching the point where I couldn't even fool myself for a few hours was what pushed me to finally find a solution.

It is a lot more fun to exercise when you're thinking about what you're actually doing, trying to do it right and to the best of your ability, and not berating yourself for being the worst person in the world.

Actually, it is a lot more fun to just be alive when you're not trapped in such a crushing cycle . I hope all of you are doing well with your plans!

xx - NS

[acadiaofmaine]

Ladies on a Mission Week 3

Yeah, the crushing cycle. I can hardly stand to think about it!

My mission is going pretty well. Went to another meeting today and saw an old friend there. Actually I saw her yesterday but hid from her. (how mature!) Today I decided that was just nuts, so I spoke to her outside the meeting and she was great! She introduced me to a couple of her friends and asked me to come again tomorrow when one of her sponsees is "qualifying", whatever that may be. Then she called me later in the day. I have known her for well over 20 years and had no idea she was in recovery. If one person in my immediate life was to know about me, she would be the one. Funny how the universe works.

Anyway, it feels good to open up to someone, esp since I'm a very private person. I know she will help me, or at least keep me company. So I don't feel so alone or so ashamed. That's worth a lot to me! I have isolated terribly over the years.

So good here. How is everyone else?

Ann

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission Week 3

Ann-

That is an awesome story. It must have felt so good to make a personal connection like that. Congratulations, too, on having the courage to go to the meeting, go again, and then say hi to her. Very strong of you!

One of my oldest and best friends was the first one to talk to me about her drinking more than 10 years ago. We have been each others go to confidantes over the years, and she was the one who told me about MWO. She had the courage to join first (I didn't know it) as I was still lying to myself and everyone else about my ability to "moderate." Now she and I are both here (she doesn't post much) AND I have a friend with whom I can share my deepest and darkest in person, too (although she lives far away).

There is also something very strong about the bonds formed here for me. There is unconditional support, multiple ages, many different interests and lives, all bonded by the strong desire to be free of the chains of alcohol.

Catch you all later when I have more time. Of to do baseball pickup, dinner, homework, etc.

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission Week 3

K-9 - Keep that cig calendar full. Great work.

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission Week 3

We were conversing about whether we should discuss this alcohol matter with our kids yesterday. That led me to think about my own parents. My dad was always a functional alcoholic, but never, ever would admit it. He ended up with pancreatitis a few years ago. Never said, "Oh, it could be related to alcohol," but he did quit drinking. My grandfather was an alcoholic, and he did discuss that. But I wished my parents would have told me and my sisters more, way more than they did. I still wonder how bad my dad's drinking was. He quit years ago for 18 months. One doesn't do that unless you have a problem. But it wasn't discussed, just like a lot of family issues weren't discussed. I have to believe that my mom was a very secret person as a result of her upbringing. It's sad. And that's why I will, at the right time, discuss this at great lengths with my son. I want him to know of the many generations of alcoholics, including me, in our family. I also know that my grandfathers brothers were also alcoholics as was my great-grandfather. And my FIL died from cirrhosis of the liver, so my son has a good chance of carrying that gene. Like I said before, I want more AF time under my belt before I discuss this with him.

SL - sometimes just our kids knowing that their role models don't drink is good enough! Good for your daughter. How's that new bed treatin' ya? Thanks for the detox drink. I'm going to buy the ingredients and try it this weekend. Thanks!

Narilly, yes, I'd like to hear how the SMART meeting goes. I know there are SMART meetings online as well.

Available, being anal can be a blessing and a great flaw! I'm so organized at work, and how I do certain things. Then I'm a slob at home... go figure. So glad you're doing well and sounding great.

NS, yes, the feeling of saying "I don't drink now" is a powerful statement, empowering. Anything to remind us and make us feel good is worth it - self-talk...it's a good tool.

K9 - are you sure you're not a teacher, what with all the stickers!!!! Good for you, though. There's nothing like good evidence of colorful stickers on a calendar as a wonderful reminder. I'm gonna try putting something in my calendar on my new ipad. I hope I can insert some cool pics for my AF days. There will be no drinking days!!!!!!!

Ann, I agree that talking with someone you know can feel comforting. I talk to a woman I work with (not in the same school) daily. We mostly text, but she's on my list of daily report-in's. And it feels good to have her. We met once, and plan to meet more frequently. She calls it a mini meeting.

Dottie, Pav, Patrice, Freefly, Humblerider, and all the lovely ladies on a mission, have a wonderful night.

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission Week 3

We were conversing about whether we should discuss this alcohol matter with our kids yesterday. That led me to think about my own parents. My dad was always a functional alcoholic, but never, ever would admit it. He ended up with pancreatitis a few years ago. Never said, "Oh, it could be related to alcohol," but he did quit drinking. My grandfather was an alcoholic, and he did discuss that. But I wished my parents would have told me and my sisters more, way more than they did. I still wonder how bad my dad's drinking was. He quit years ago for 18 months. One doesn't do that unless you have a problem. But it wasn't discussed, just like a lot of family issues weren't discussed. I have to believe that my mom was a very secret person as a result of her upbringing. It's sad. And that's why I will, at the right time, discuss this at great lengths with my son. I want him to know of the many generations of alcoholics, including me, in our family. I also know that my grandfathers brothers were also alcoholics as was my great-grandfather. And my FIL died from cirrhosis of the liver, so my son has a good chance of carrying that gene. Like I said before, I want more AF time under my belt before I discuss this with him.

SL - sometimes just our kids knowing that their role models don't drink is good enough! Good for your daughter. How's that new bed treatin' ya? Thanks for the detox drink. I'm going to buy the ingredients and try it this weekend. Thanks!

Narilly, yes, I'd like to hear how the SMART meeting goes. I know there are SMART meetings online as well.

Available, being anal can be a blessing and a great flaw! I'm so organized at work, and how I do certain things. Then I'm a slob at home... go figure. So glad you're doing well and sounding great.

NS, yes, the feeling of saying "I don't drink now" is a powerful statement, empowering. Anything to remind us and make us feel good is worth it - self-talk...it's a good tool.

K9 - are you sure you're not a teacher, what with all the stickers!!!! Good for you, though. There's nothing like good evidence of colorful stickers on a calendar as a wonderful reminder. I'm gonna try putting something in my calendar on my new ipad. I hope I can insert some cool pics for my AF days. There will be no drinking days!!!!!!!

Ann, I agree that talking with someone you know can feel comforting. I talk to a woman I work with (not in the same school) daily. We mostly text, but she's on my list of daily report-in's. And it feels good to have her. We met once, and plan to meet more frequently. She calls it a mini meeting.

Dottie, Pav, Patrice, Freefly, Humblerider, and all the lovely ladies on a mission, have a wonderful night.:l

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission Week 3

haha! I lost my post last night, and tonight it posts it twice. No, really, I posted it twice just in case you all got board and needed some great reading material!

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission Week 3

:nutso:I am a teacher...An English/Language Arts teacher. Did anyone see the typo above? Board...bored. OMG. And I get on my kids about spelling all the time and I don't bother to proofread anything I write here. Well, it's not formal writing! And we can write any ol' way we want. I ain't worrying bout nuttin. Just sayin'.

[HumbleRider]

Ladies on a Mission Week 3

I'm an English teacher too J-vo...!

Hi all, can't stay long tonight, but thanks to everyone for the kind words and support. It's been a grueling day, and I just started snoozing in front of the TV. I still have a couple of papers to look at before bed. Hope everyone is doing well.

Tomorrow I'll be gone all day at a memorial event, just me and one other person. This is the day I was dreading re: drinking. I'm going to have to decline the proverbial memorial drink. Wish me luck!

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission Week 3

Pav- I am glad you found our thread. It is pretty cool how us young ladies have so much in common. We are here for each other.
Well, it looks like we have a couple of English teachers here. No proof reading eh J-Vo? Lol
Humble, memorial AF drink for you, right?

Well, I'm tired.so I will talk tomorrow.
I don't drink.

[scottish lass]

Ladies on a Mission Week 3

Well, lots of language teachers - I better mind my P's and Q's! I am a nurse - who will keep me company?
Hi Pav, I am in Ca too.....
Crazy long day again - I am pooped....so tired, need the world to stop for a while so I can get off!
Not craving, but desiring tonight - doesn't feel desperate, but do feel that I would like a drink - it is just there, and bugging me....so feeling deprived! I Know I have to switch that to gratitude mode, but not happening tonight - think I am just too tired and can't fight it. Nothing's going to happen, that I know - but wish I wasn't having these feelings.
Ditto Narilly - I am tired, will talk tomorrow......I don't drink
:l:l

[available]

Ladies on a Mission Week 3

I have had a crap day with my boss dragging me over the coals about how i handled an abusive patient during the week. I told him directly that I will not be spoken to like she did and if she was in front of me at the reception desk I would have called a code on her for aggression. He said after 6 years he thought i would have conducted myself better. Oh well he loves to hate me bless him but the feeling is mutual and at the end of the day I do not need to be spoken to like she did and I wont. So those AL feelings came to the fore and i looked at my boss afterwards and thought "you least of all will not make me drink". So I am p'd off

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission Week 3

Hi, Ladies--

Narilly - I found this thread thanks to J-Vo who reached out to me in my most desperate time after an awful weekend. I am happy to have been so welcomed here.

Available - sorry about your boss. I love your last line - why would you give the son-of-a-b@#ch that power over you to make you feel like shit both physically and mentally.

Hi, SL - thought you would be in Scotland - hah. You must be "freezing" near me, too. Did you see that it is -27C where Narilly is?? Makes me feel like such a wimp. Sorry you're feeling tempted tonight, but I am glad you posted here instead of drinking. Make that a habit, ok?

J-Vo - much alcoholism in my family, too, including both Brothers in law, two cousin, two of my grandparents, two of DH's grandparents, an Uncle - not to mention a cousin meth addict and plenty of anxiety, depression, etc. It's a wonder we function at all! I know I will tell my kids the whole truth about me at some point (the already know about all the rest), but not until I'm on less shaky ground.

Good luck, Humble, but not just luck - have a firm plan in place, eat a good meal and set yourself up for success.

Because of my crazy weekend, I still feel slightly flu-ish and have not been by tempted by AL at all. I am scared of it for sure, but not yet tempted. I'm glad I can come here when I am.

Good Night - I hope you all have plans for successful, fun, restful ALCOHOL FREE weekends. I have been a posting maniac these last four days - thanks for listening!