Ladies on a Mission Week of December 9, 2013

[j-vo]

Morning Ladies,
I started a new week, but put the date instead of the week. I'm sneaking in a little time during my plan period to hang out a little. I need to slow down at work, and this is the perfect respite.

As we are all around the same age, these habits have been part of our lives for many, many years. I know mine go way back...30 years. It takes time to make habits, so together we can make this AF habit stick. Perseverance, consistency, posting, trying to live as healthy as we can, but allowing ourselves to be lazy sometimes, not so serious about getting everything done, and enjoying some the good food that I never cared about when I drank. I have so much hope for the present and future without AL in it.

Dottie, 100 days!!! OMG! Congratulations to you!. :goodjob:

Narilly, so glad your AL thoughts are decreasing. That's a big freaking deal, lady!

Pav, Drinking, A Love Story was one of my favorities. I just downloaded the Ann Johnston one that treetops suggested up in general. Just started reading it and I think it'll be a good one. She's had a successful career but struggled with AL for a long time. She's in her 50s now and quit drinking 5 years ago.

Patrice, sorry you're tired and depressed. Can you get out to walk a little today? That always seems to pick me up a bit. Or do something nice for yourself such as a manicure. Pretty nails make me happy!

Available, I was getting ready to rent "Smashed" but Amazon only sells it to download and doesn't rent. Some of their movies you can rent, but not this one. I was going to see if it's on Netflix, although I don't have an account, my girlfriend does. Where did you rent it from?

OK, ladies, have a super Monday or Tuesday!!!!!

[acadiaofmaine]

Ladies on a Mission Week of December 9, 2013

Hi Ladies,

I'm sorry to have been out of the loop for a few days! I have been reading the posts, though-they are pretty awesome. I have been involved off and on with MWO for many years, and I think this is the best thread EVER!

So I am doing pretty well. One week AF. Doesn't seem like much, I have had much longer AF periods, but this one feels different. My emotions have been all over the place, ranging from elation to tired and depressed, like Pav said. The latter came more over the weekend, when it was particularly hard to change old habits-lying around, watching TV, cooking, and drinking wine. I felt at loose ends and worn out.

So, about a week ago I went to AA for the first time. I"ll preface this by saying no one on earth could have been more resistant, more horrified and more determined never to go, than I was. I went because my therapist was pushing it (gently) and because I didn't know what else to do. At a certain point I recognized all of my resistances, but had to wonder if at the deepest level, if I were mostly resistant to getting better. Do I really, really, really want to quit, or do I want to continue to hope that one day I can have a glass or two?

I suppose the jury is still out on that. And re: AA, I only managed to stay 20 minutes of the first meeting. I was so anxious and fearful and embarrassed I couldn't take it. But I went back. It was hard because people I knew were there, too. Very scary, I really wanted to put my coat over my head. Then, I saw a very good old friend and co-worker there, someone I have known for well over 20 years. To make a long story short, I decided to approach her and "come out" as it were. She has 25 years in the program, as does her husband. She offered to be my sponsor. She is an amazing person, one of the few I would trust with this stuff. So one has to consider "when the student is ready, the teacher appears." She never goes to this particular meeting, but for some reason, did that day. Synchronicity?

Don't know where this will take me, and don't know if you ladies are going to want to hear about this. I know there are AA specific threads. I am not going to be a bible thumper, as someone said earlier, but I think it's going to help fill in that huge hole where AL used to be.

Have a great Monday, Ladies! You are awesome.

Ann

[patrice]

Ladies on a Mission Week of December 9, 2013

Dottie - Just delighted for you for 100 days !! That is so fab.. can you share a bit about how you feel now and what has changed?

Narilly... you seem on such a great track.. I'm following in your footsteps
Pav- I really enjoy your posts and for me they are very helpful
j-vo - I just watched 'Smashed' tonight .. I also would recommend it..it made me feel stronger
Well J-vo can't do the nails .. had a Pedi on Sunday!!! And got the hair done.
Ladies, I don't feel like drinking at all, I do know it won't help me AT ALL. That much I really have learnt but what I haven't done is change my lifestyle in any way.. I know I should get into mindfulness ( have the book and cd), gratitude? I am beginning that but not formally writing it down ( I should, do you think?). The ONE thing I am not doing is exercise and I think for me that could be the missing piece.. I get up early and never feel like doing it, plus I am smoking Way More than usual so feel I could only do 5 mins on the cross trainer ( I have one at home).. Walking, my friends , is not really an option during the day here and by the time I get home from work I have to cook for my son and me ( we seem to eat different meals- at 8 he doesn't do salads ), so then it's his homework, baths etc then I have to do the dishes. By that time I'm wrecked. It's 10pm here and i have a mountain of washing, dishes etc and I just feel overwhelmed (Ok I did watch that movie tonight!!)
The smoking is getting me down because in this heat it tires me out and stops me from going on the cross trainer.. Oh any suggestions ladies??
Sorry Whinge over, sorry I can't be too much help to you all tonight BUT I am sober today and only one thought entered my mind of drinking and that was going to shop to buy washing powder where they sell beer and wine. I decided not to stop at the shop after all ( haha guess those dirty clothes will have to wait till tomorrow!!)
Take care girls
Pat x

[patrice]

Ladies on a Mission Week of December 9, 2013

Hi acadia X post.. would love to hear more as you go forward with AA. I went once 3 years ago but hated it. I'm not sure they even have AA where I live.. there is a big Muslim population here so there seems to be no need!

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission Week of December 9, 2013

Congratulations, Dottie! It has been so wonderful to follow you the last 100 days. You've been so kind and welcoming to people. Don't you think that the more often you do that and tell people they can free themselves from the grips of AL, the more it becomes true for you? Ann, don't discount 1 week :l. This can be your LAST FIRST WEEK. Most people find each quit to be tougher than the last so even if it isn't your longest AF stretch, it is a huge accomplishment.

You guys are making me feel kind of sheepish about my early AF days . I was cold, tired, depressed, and really just plain miserable and I wallowed in it for a long time. I pretty much did nothing that I didn't feel like doing other than meeting absolute professional and personal responsibilities. I'm not sure that was the best approach but I would encourage you not to be too hard on yourself for feeling down or lacking energy. Aside from all of the psychological and emotional business we have to deal with, our poor bodies need some time to get over being poisoned every day! There really is a convalescence period. Treat yourself like you would treat someone you are caring for that you love. Day by day I think you'll find you love yourself more and more.

After I had coddled myself for several months, I started getting back into exercise more seriously. This is a 7 minute, high intensity workout that really helped me. Even I could manage to give 7 whole minutes of effort: http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/0...-workout/?_r=0. There are apps available that make doing the workout easier and allow for adjustments of intervals. I still do it a couple of times a week and am amazed at how effective it can be.

xx to you all. NS

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission Week of December 9, 2013

HI Ann! I think it's great you had the courage to go back to AA. Take what you want and leave the rest, as they say. And to have face to face support is such an important tool in sobriety, early or long term. I meet with a co-worker periodically, and that does help. Sounds like the sponsor would guide you in the right direction.

NS, thanks for the link!

Patrice, I started on the nicotine patch last Monday. There were several times I wanted to rip it right off my f***ing arm, but didn't. It does work, as does the nicotine gum. But with like AL, you need a plan for the triggers. The real reason I got back on the patch is because of my slip last week with AL. Al and smokes go hand in hand for me. Then I don't exercise. Maybe give yourself a little more time, then think about it. I feel as though I should have waited until after xmas but was afraid I'd slip up again.

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission Week of December 9, 2013

Wow, there have been some great posts which I have to catch up on. I have to agree with Ann, this is a really great thread and so helpful to me too.
I treasure all of your posts.

Anyway, I am going to work out at lunch but will post later.
Take it easy gals,
I don't drink.

[K9Lover]

Ladies on a Mission Week of December 9, 2013

Hi Lovely Ladies!

Patrice - I am on day 8 of no-smoking...(ok technically I am 30 minutes shy of 8 days but who's counting...lol). I am using the nicotine gum, which I have NEVER tried before. If you look back to the "No More Butts...." thread, you will see that I started this journel with One2Many in May of 2010!!! I am finding the gum VERY VERY helpful. I don't feel like smoking at all...and I am only chewing 2-3 pieces per day. The box says to chew one per hour, but I don't seem to need it...mostly just at the times of day I would have smoked, morning, lunchtime and evening.

Sorry to have gone on a tangent about smoking...it's still consuming my mind apparently. LOL Haven't been to AA in years...so I can't comment on that one. I'm in a different town now too...so maybe I should go just "to see"??

Happy Monday (UGH)

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission Week of December 9, 2013

Dottie- 100 days, way to go!
J-V0- changing those habits. Just something mindful we have to do to help ourselves not slide into that same old thing.
I gotta tell you, J-V0, you really do crack me up sometimes. "thats a big freakin deal, lady!" That gave me a big smile!

K9, awesome on the smoking thing. It is a good habit to get rid of for sure. 25 years ago I just quit smoking and never looked back. You will be able to say that one day! that is awesome that the gum helps so much.

Yes, Pat, we will ge through this together.Let's DO IT!! We are all so supportive and that really helps.

I am going to find an AA group here. I will keep looking until I find a 'fit'. It can be a little intimidating some of the meetings. The people at these meetings- its great that they are there but a lot of them can be hard to relate to for Me. My life as an older young woman with kids and a husband is so different from theirs. When I talk about my AL issues at some of these meetings, they really don't seem so bad compared to some of the stuff I hear there. Don't get me wrong, I respect the fact they are there and sometimes sit there in awe that they are strong enough not to drink even though they have gone through such hard times.

Ann, keep it up this first week is just the beginning! Glad you found a good AA group, that should really help you.
Pat, NS, I have my moments too. Felt a little bummed out all weekend and still feel that way. I keept thinking "I didn't drink that much" . Haha...still in denial or what?
SL- hope you are keeping well
Talk to you soon girls, I got a call from the guidance counsellor at school. My son is going through 'something' and wants to talk to me after school. He is in grade 12. Now I am really worried. Is he depressed? Girl troubles? Getting bullied?
Anyway, nothing is as important to me as my kids. I will keep you posted.

I don't drink.

[Dottie Belle]

Ladies on a Mission Week of December 9, 2013

Patrice I feel a sense of accomplishment and pride. This time I was more committed and I think it has to do with health issues that I had no control over that almost killed me to think that the AL could kill me too and I did have control over that. I do not want to die and so I has to take control of what I could and do lots of self talk...the I dont drink over and over to myself...

NO Sugar "Don't you think that the more often you do that and tell people they can free themselves from the grips of AL, the more it becomes true for you?" Yes I totally agree with this. I have not felt "worthy" to give advice or encourage folks but now that I have some time behind me I feel like I can help others based on my success. It is a wonderful feeling. I may not always have the right words but as I recall just the act of welcoming new folks can have a profound affect on them. It sure did for me.

[acadiaofmaine]

Ladies on a Mission Week of December 9, 2013

Narilly,

Good luck with the guidance counselor-son situation. I got that call last year, from the school psychologist. Very unnerving-teenagers are wonderful, but never a dull moment. I hope all is ok and that it's nothing major.

Why isn't there a patch for AL? I do wish great success to those of you who smoke. You're making great progress!

Ann

[available]

Ladies on a Mission Week of December 9, 2013

Hi lovely ladies, well a busy week has started already since I have woken up from my deep sleep, little of it but deep nonetheless.

Jvo my sons showed me how to download off torrentz.eu a site that i just download what i want to watch for nothing and you need another to download it onto. If i can do it anyone can and its free, free free. So if any of my lovely friends have any more suggestions for movies they would be appreciated.

ACA i always think i would never go to AA and i still dont know. I am not as resistant to the idea as I used to be and if i find i am struggling then that is my next option, for now i am happy to be here in the nest but a big congrats on going, i can fully relate to the overcoat over the head theory. Its amazing how things happen for a reason and lovely you have an old friend as a sponsor, keep going with that.

Pat I'm a bit like you in the exercise department. I think about it everyday and it doesnt happen but in saying that it will happen just not today. I am smoking more than usual too but it has lessened as the days go on. That will be my next vice to go but one vice at a time. Good on you for not buying that washing powder or wine, we know what situations we can be in. Bring your washing here I will do it for you, i like washing! I love the end of Smashed when she was a different person, a stronger person, the person she had inside of her. It was a great movie.

NS i love your posts and thanks for sharing your first thoughts on being AF. i will look at that link you posted, probably just look but thats a start right?

Nar I hope all is well with your son, it doesnt matter how old they are we still worry and the good thing now is that we are sober enough to remember what is said. When my son used to ring me suicidal as he was on crack i would drown my sorrows in AL. What could I do, he was in another State, the only thing I could do was bring him home. He has fought his addiction for 9 months and I still buried myself in AL thinking it is not as bad an addiction as crack. WRONG. He is as proud of me as I am of him and we are both living each day as it comes.

K9 i was just about to ask how long you have been trying to give up the fags for. Congrats on that. I did manage 5 weeks earlier this year and then son came home and all hell broke loose so i started again. Probably just another excuse in my fuddled brain to start and blame it on something.

Dot i can remember how ill you were and the never ending rounds of doctors who could not find anything. Your struggles and your perseverance have always been an inspiration to me and to make it to 100 days is an amazing feat. Big hugs to you.

Another day off work for me, i dont want to go to that place of employment today, I am cranky with my office manager who has always been an idiot and i refuse to be put in a situation where i am not comfortable in being. little does he know that he cannot push me around anymore, he will not make me drink by putting stress on me. maybe i may do that walk today, we will see.

So glad we are all sounding positive and for today I will not drink.

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission Week of December 9, 2013

Adadia, Available- Thank You for your encouragement! So amazing to get the warm and fuzzies from my beautiful lady friends in this thread. Your words have brought my stress level Way down in regards to my son.
If you were here I would give you both a BIG hug!!

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission Week of December 9, 2013

Hi Girls,
Well, didn't have a good day at work. I have 130 8th grade kids, and they didn't bother me at all. It was two adult teachers! I can't take lazy teachers making excuses for not being where they need to be and turning their backs when they see two kids almost killing each other in the hallway. Oh, the rage I felt today was pretty bad. But after I released my rage on a close co-worker and a few mentors, I feel better just getting it off my chest. Sometimes kicking and screaming works. Let the steam off. I need to get on my treadmill, as I ate lots of cookies today in my moments of rage. No urge for al. But I wished I would have handled it differently somehow. I need to remember to breath, deep breath in those moments where I'm really angry. People can't make us drink, or make us angry. Only we do it to ourselves. It was like I was pouring rage down my throat today instead of AL. Very stupid. Anger only fills our minds with crap and is bad for our health. But I'm feeling better now just typing it out. So thank you for listening!

Narilly, hope your son is ok! And glad I made you smile today. I know sometimes I talk like my kids at school do. It just comes out that way! I hope you find a group that suits your needs. I know when I used to attend, there were many stories that seemed hard to wrap my head around. Very sad. We are lucky we have the support systems we need and that we have jobs to go to. Also, we are working hard at being healthier beings so that we can appreciate ourselves and others more.

Dottie, I don't know what you've been through, but it sounds as though you've gone through a lot. Thoughts and prayers with you, Sister Lady, and again, congrats on your 100!

Ann, I'll take that patch for AL! What a concept, huh? And why not? They have patches for everything else!!!! I want a cookie patch. I had way too many today.

Available, I'll try that and I'll look around if that doesn't work. I really wanna watch that movie. And prayers and thoughts go out to you and your son. That's wonderful that you can be there for each other. A friend of mine's daughter had been on heroin for some time. She's been clean for over a year now, but it's ODAT as well. All of these addictions are serious matters. I hope your boss isn't like the a**holes I had to work with today!

Have a lovely night.

[K9Lover]

Ladies on a Mission Week of December 9, 2013

available;1596832 wrote: K9 i was just about to ask how long you have been trying to give up the fags for. Congrats on that. I did manage 5 weeks earlier this year and then son came home and all hell broke loose so i started again. Probably just another excuse in my fuddled brain to start and blame it on something.

My "record" is 82 days...not sure why I started again...that damn fuddled brain I guess!

I had a scary thought earlier. I figured my daughter will be going to her dad's over the winter break and that if I quit Antabuse now I'd be clear to drink! I'm not trying to scare anyone, just pointing out how VIGILANT we must stay, no matter how long we've been sober. If you are like me, your first thought will always be "Oh good...this and that is happening so I can drink!"....remember girls....I didn't go to jail 3 times because I was singing too loud in the church choir! :H