Ladies on a Mission Week of December 9, 2013

[available]

Ladies on a Mission Week of December 9, 2013

[QUOTE=I didn't go to jail 3 times because I was singing too loud in the church choir! :H
Are you sure? i know my voice could land me in jail. Singing is not my forte.

God K9 that is a scary thought to have especially after the days you have wracked up. i will definitely take that one on board. Thanks for sharing that.

[acadiaofmaine]

Ladies on a Mission Week of December 9, 2013

Yeah, thanks, K9. I guess drinking is our default position... it sure is mine. Keep taking that Antabuse!!

Ann

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission Week of December 9, 2013

I'm posting page 18 from last week's thread...that's if I'm lucky!! hehe.

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission Week of December 9, 2013

#171 (permalink)
Today, 05:11 AM

patrice
Member

Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 933
Gallery: 0
My Mood:

I think you should take another day off!!
I feel so wretched and anxious, I've had to take half a zanax.. I only use those for emergencies but guess this is one.. I'm not a pill person and can manage to keep them for months at a time without touching them so at least that's an addiction I don't have to worry about..
Yes, I do feel like I have given up Al this time so you are right.. could be the reality setting in.. Maybe I need to go back to Ad's although maybe I just need exercise.. I do none!!!
Either way I just cannot wait till I've fed my boy and get into that movie.. yay!!
__________________


#172 (permalink)
Today, 05:55 AM

available
Member

Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: australia
Posts: 990
Gallery: 0
My Mood:

So do I but i will see tomorrow. I have taken one xanax since i stopped drinking, like you i was just so all over the place I just needed to settle. I hate taking them as they are so addictive and for some reason i am not a pill person either. I started back on my ad's and feel so much better for it, could feel the depression hitting me and that was before giving up al. it has made me more stable, well i think so but still lacking motivation but i am not pushing myself as yet. Just eating myself to obesity at the moment. Cant believe the different cravings I have, like being pregnant again lol.

My bedtime now. going to watch Once Upon a Time and hopefully sleep. When i sleep it is like the sleep of the dead but when i wake that is it and i really would like more than 5 hours. No hangovers though so that is a good thing right?

Enjoy the movie Pat and let me know what you think. Have a great day.

#173 (permalink)
Today, 09:39 AM

HumbleRider
Member

Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 43
Gallery: 0

Hi all, available said:

"If someone invited me out after 7pm the answer was always no as i was way on my way to being pissed."

Same here. The other day at the memorial event, my friend asked if I would like to attend a lecture with her next Thursday evening. As the topic fascinated me, I agreed immediately. Then she casually mentioned that if I was going to bail on her, to let her know enough in advance so that she could find someone else to go with. She was rightly concerned since I would do that all the time when in the throes of drinking wine like water. I'd glibly accept invitations when loaded, then know full well in my next-morning sober state that I wouldn't attend due to my alcohol regimen. How embarrassing. I told her my word was worth a heck of a lot more these days and left it at that.

Happy day 26 SL. You wondered if anyone would recognize your sober handwriting, lol. Once (well okay more than once but this was particularly bad) I corrected a whole batch of papers pie-eyed. Scrawling sloppy handwriting with bold sentiments and emotional content that I would never normally write. And I HAD to return them of course. Let's hope they couldn't decipher it. How embarrassing again.

Pav and available, I take Kudzu, Primrose oil capsules, a good liver cleanse supplement in capsule form, vitamins B, C, D, calcium/magnesium, for now a daily multi-vitamin.

Dottie, 100 days, yay! What a milestone.

Patrice, I need to exercise too. Maybe we can start together?

J-vo, you mentioned the sermon at church. Well, pride came up a couple of times during the service, and it got me thinking about all the time I wasted drinking because of irrational pride. I figured if I quit, I would be saying to the world that my former self wasn't worthy of respect, hence my pride creeping in. To change meant to admit wrong-doing and in so doing to lose dignity...how bizarre! To stop drinking means to GAIN dignity.

Have a good AF MAE everyone. Day 36 here.
__________________
Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending. ~Maria Robinson

#174 (permalink)
Today, 10:56 AM

NoSugar
Senior Member

Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 2,001
Gallery: 0

Quote:
Originally Posted by patrice
... we innately know when we are done and it's up to us to follow up on that.. just as I believe we are born with our end date firmly established. When we are done, we are done. We can fight it as much as we want.
This has been with me since I read it yesterday, Patrice. I don't believe in predetermination but the timing of my quit turned out to be unbelievably fortunate because I had 4 solid months in before my life situation changed in a way that would have been really, really difficult to handle if I were still drinking. Since there was nothing much different about last January compared to other Januaries or that day compared to so many others, I really don't know why that is when I quit but in light of how my life has evolved over the last year, I'd like to think that a benevolent power was at work.

If any of you feel drawn to that very faint and flickering AF flame, please go for it! There might be a reason it is beckoning you right now.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pavati
No Sugar – You ask the very questions I was thinking about myself. Could I have gotten to where I am (a very delicate yet dedicated day 7) without having had an “incident?” Somehow you did, and I know many others do – I wonder what is different. Mindfulness and meditation are good for all things, but what makes some alcoholics able to use those tools while others end up homeless?
Since addictions get progressively worse in a well-documented pattern, I think that deep down, we are essentially the same and it is just a matter of our tolerance for the pain AL causes us - the point at which we raise the white flag and use whatever tools we can find to get free. Sadly, some people have no access to any resources and don't even have the chance we have.

I tried to convince myself I was different from "real alcoholics" for a long, long time. Nothing terrible ever happened because of my drinking (aside from isolation and diminished self-worth...) in terms of harming myself or someone else. I had plenty of bad mornings but clearly none that were sufficiently awful, like your experience, Pavati, for me to be 100% ready to quit like you are.

I think, though, that if I had continued to drink and if the problem had escalated, which I think it would have, I ultimately would have had an experience such as yours or worse yet, harmed myself or someone else. I think we all run that risk if we keep drinking and it is an unacceptably high risk to ourselves and our society.

I think the reason I was able to quit when I did was because as I "met" various people on MWO and saw that we were more alike than different, I realized that there was absolutely no reason I should think I was more in control ("better" ) than all of these educated, intelligent, interesting people. They had had these experiences and made these mistakes and were willing to share them on a public forum! Why not learn from them and spare myself and others further pain? Why not learn hard lessons the easier way?

Until I joined MWO, I did not know anyone who is an acknowledged recovering alcoholic so I had no role models. The image of alcoholics I had in my mind certainly was nothing I wanted to aspire to. Now I know there is no reason to think that I can control AL - that doesn't make me less intelligent or reliable or funny or worthy or anything else. It is something about me that I have to accept just as I do other "flaws" which I cannot change. I don't think I'm a terrible person because of those and I'm learning to believe that I'm not terrible because of this addiction.

If we're in Patrice's building and the first floor is the AF floor, just take the express elevator there and GET OFF!. Don't worry about whether you're ready or that you can't imagine not drinking again. Over-intellectualizing this does not work. I tried to do that for way too long. I didn't "feel it" when I started - I just acted the way AF people acted day by day by day and after awhile, I wasn't playing a role anymore.

NS
__________________
The wound is the place where the Light enters you. Rumi
AF since 24 January 2013

Newbies Nest
Toolbox

#175 (permalink)
Today, 11:23 AM

Dottie Belle
Senior Member

Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ohio
Posts: 1,294
Gallery: 0
My Mood:

NS I can so relate to your post...made me think....
Thanks humble for the congrats..I feel good....onward to 200....woohoo!!!
__________________
Dottie

Newbies Nest
Toolbox


______________
AF 9.1.2013

#176 (permalink)
Today, 08:13 PM

scottish lass
Senior Member

Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: California
Posts: 1,478
Gallery: 0
My Mood:

Well, witching hour on another day - my 30 will be friday 13th - Ha!! Might be the key???
There has been a lot of thoughts put out here, that have definiatley given me cause to ponder. I do not wish to die young (and that was main reason I chose to stop) - I have seen the effects of liver failure and know what that entails - no thank you!!
J-vo - you summed it all up "For me, I believe the switch from resentment to gratitude is what it ultimately takes to continue. Can you look back and see what pain AL has caused you? Can you get angry that it's stolen some of your precious moments in life? Can you appreciate waking up with that clear head? No headache, not parched, able to function at a high level of efficiency from day to day without AL? My bottoms were bad, lots of them. But some people do have "high" bottoms, and this does let our minds stray to the resentments. Peace to you, dear. Hoping that chatter gets a little quieter." - I seriously wish that I could bottle the morning feeling and spray it on me in the evening when the other voices check in.
For a long time I have struggled with the gratitude vs resentment angle and totally believe in this as one of the keys to success - what I can't work out is how to make the switch for myself.
As others have said, I have not hit a "bad bottom" - nor do I want to, I need to take the small successes and make them my reality....
Well - good to see those checking in - quite a few are missing, hopefully you are all lurking....
Have a good evening/night all....
Will work at getting my head into gear by Friday....this will be my third month since joining MWO - the first lasted two months, the second just a month - got to work out what this one will be....


Page 18 of 18 ? First < 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18

? Previous Thread | Next Thread ?

Quick Reply
Message:

















Options
Show your signatureQuote message in reply?

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission Week of December 9, 2013

Page 18 is all in one post. So I kind of did it!!

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission Week of December 9, 2013

K9, that is scary! It is so easy to go back to AL. That is what we all have been doing for years. Stay vigilant sister.
My son is ok. He is having trouble sleeping and has been missing school. He is also having some friend/girlfriend stuff going on. Not anything too bad. Waiting to talk to him was the worst part! I was trying not to over react!

Thanks lovely ladies,
I don't drink

[Dottie Belle]

Ladies on a Mission Week of December 9, 2013

I am going to vent here so I don't offend the men on the other threads.
I married a moron!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Geez louise he says he wants to help and when I give him something he screws it up...over and over again..
Tenants called and garage door isn't working...just installed it in September...gave dh the paperwork to file...do you think he can find it NO...I want to scream....or cry...
I cant do it all every dam day....all he did all day was nap....aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
I am going to bed before I do something stupid.

[available]

Ladies on a Mission Week of December 9, 2013

Ahhh Dot there are benefits to being single i am thinking and not being married and looking after someone else is the reason. My ex was the laziest SOB and he was like another child to look after. I can handle he loneliness that creeps up on me sometimes.

Just think of how much time you would get for murder lol. Deep breaths, deep breaths

you made me laugh x

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission Week of December 9, 2013

Oh boy, going to bed is a good call. There is nothing like that kind of anger at your H. I know I had my anger on the weekend. I had all these visions of slamming his head on the table like "Something about Mary" in the cop scene. So I just went home to bed.
Hey, but I didn't drink and neither did you Dottie!
Because we don't drink right? You too AvailablePav, J-Vo, sugar, SL, R4L,K9,Humble,everyone


Hugs,

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission Week of December 9, 2013

Hi, Ladies:

One question since I joined you all late - why do we have to start a new thread every week? For me it would be easier to have them all in one place to search, but I am sure there is a reason. I'm not trying to be bossy (it may or may not be true that certain persons of the opposite sex living in this house may or may not have accused me of being bossy at some point).

K-9 - thanks for sharing - that's what I was saying in the nest - it worries me how quickly thoughts like that can come up after so many years. I wonder if your cell mate named Diablo knows she has stopped hundreds of people from decent into despair. Heh.

I stayed up too late on MWO last night and need to get to bed. If I have time after settling the boys in I'll come read back - if not, good night (or morning, or whatever).

A quick YES! to Dottie. Congratulations - you have so much to contribute. Vent away at DH - oh, but can they be clueless.

[patrice]

Ladies on a Mission Week of December 9, 2013

Hey Girls... Well yes men grrrr ( at times, not always!) My ex was a dropkick.. the kind who goes off to the shops to buy a box of matches and never comes back leaving their partner and 4 year old stranded in a foreign country...Oh well, that was then...

Loving all the posts here.. will reply in detail. Loved that film Available.. anyone got any other good suggestions re movies? I have seen Flight... didn't like it as much as Smashed.

I had a little test today. My friend who is in Asia visiting came over to my place for a drink and a chat. She bought some beer with her but I had some sparkling water and grapefruit juice (yay) She only had 2 cans of beer anyway as that's all she ever has. She was so delighted that I had stopped, very supportive and I felt good. she told me that where she lives it really is starting to dawn on people about Alcohol and that a lot of people are stopping ( maybe not so much because they have to but that they want to)

I also kind of like the idea of having just one thread? But whatever is cool

Have a great day all
x
Pat

[HumbleRider]

Ladies on a Mission Week of December 9, 2013

Hi all,
AOM I don't believe in mere coincidence in this case. There was a reason for meeting your friend that day at AA. Sounds like you are embracing that synchronicity.

Patrice and available, I also need to start exercising--I have a stationary bike. I also smoke a bit, at least one cigarette a day, or if not that, I have an electronic cigarette that I take a few puffs on. Maybe we can egg each other on to get into an exercise routine? The only time I can do it is early in the am as well. NS, thanks for the workout link.

Narilly, hope all went well with your son. I've been there, done that, too.

Yay, j-vo, for getting page 18 nicely posted!

Day 37 here.

[Dottie Belle]

Ladies on a Mission Week of December 9, 2013

MAE all,
Had a rough night...had irregular heart rate again. have not had that since AF so I am confused. Not sure if it was the stress of the day with dh and all the other stuff but that is all I can come up with. Will call doc but not sure what they can do when it is so infrequently but it scares the bejeebers out of me. Started to go to ER and it righted itself so we came back home...this was at 2am and it was snowing like crazy.
We are supposed to volunteer today but I am calling in sick. I am tired and don't feel like smiling and being cheerful..bleh.
3 more inches of snow and it is not winter yet....boo hiss....
Just glad I am AF and alive.
Sorry this is a duplicate of my post elsewhere but I am too tired to do much better.

[HumbleRider]

Ladies on a Mission Week of December 9, 2013

Hi all, a quick update on my personal toolbox. This morning, I joined kindspring.org, a site devoted to acts of kindness, especially those of the anonymous kind. I've never been one to be in the limelight, or to have my name attached to 'helping others.' But this road of life is about me in relationship with others, not in relationship with alcohol. So on top of everything else I'm doing to stay present and AF in life, I've decided to do at least one act of kindness anonymously each day. Not sure what's on the agenda for today, but there are lots of good ideas at kindspring. Will let you know what I did later on!

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission Week of December 9, 2013

I agree on making an official Ladies on a Mission thread I love this thread! Gonna do that now. I Hope I don't confuse anyone!!!!