Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Well time for me to get ready for work, feeling a bit blah too but not sure why. Oh yes i do i have no money, gas got turned off, mmm cold showers are nice, a huge electricity bill and a vet bill and going to thailand in 6 weeks. i cant do anything about it so i just keep plodding along and i know everything will work out at the end of the day. Not worth drinking about, mind you i have thought about it but cant afford to drink wine as well. Take care friends. Love you all. NS you are quiet! Pat where are you? Rox hope you are doing fine and staying strong being af.

Ava, I see the same pattern with you also. You can't do anything about the crap of the day or week or month, but it's not worth drinking about. Yes, the we females are stronger!

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

You bring up interesting points about relationships before and after giving up alcohol. In some ways I pretty much checked out of my relationship with my husband (and others) - dulling my emotions and protecting myself from caring too much about people (and worrying about losing them). So, things are better now because I'm more engaged and actually do care. Sometimes I'm surprised at how much fun things can be - I guess I'd kind of forgotten. Things do bug me now (as they did before) but now I speak up about them better. I felt like such 'the guilty one', I didn't feel like I could stand up for myself. Also, the really little things don't irritate me so much anymore - I guess I've become more forgiving and tolerant (which for me was a really needed change).

Being able to communicate more effectively and without the sloppy drunk fights is definitely a change for me, too. But you've really shown how being away from al makes us grow as individuals, because now it is time for us to deal with the stuff that we always drank away. It's time for us to be grown ups and face the music when we need to do so. And I agree with you NS, that I'm not making any big decisions about anything for a very long, long time. I'm still learning about myself and how to act and react to daily challenges.

A good example is today. I was in such a foul mood from the minute my feet touched the damn floor. Work was challenging with not only kids' behaviors, but also co-workers. I have to co-teach with the Learning Support teacher for two class periods, but you would think she would participate in the planning and instruction? WTF. And to boot, she finds ways to escape class, she's got a new concussion, something else neurologically wrong wit her from a few months ago, and she's always sitting on her ass when she needs to be moving around to help our students. FFS, get off your ass! Then I decided I need to get my hair trimmed, and I said, just a little bit off, please. It's my niece, and although she's a sweetheart, she talks too damn much when she's cutting hair. I had to tell her to STOP! So I left there pissed off. So I came home, almost in tears, said to my husband "I'm in a foul mood and I don't want to talk," went upstairs, crawled under my blankets in bed and laid there for half hour. Got up, still pissy, but now I'm ok. He knows when to back off as does my son. It's safer that way. But I think I handled it in my own way without going to the bottle is FINALLY my point. Now I'm getting ready to go on the treadmill which should make me feel even better. So thanks for listening to all that.

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Finally, Roxy, great way to show you are don't drink anymore! Good for you!

Dottie Belle, shake it baby!

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

I wish we could be "normal" drinkers sigh.
So, what do you guys think a normal drinker is?
Someone who can have one or two drinks once or twice a week and is fine with that?
Someone who only drinks on weekends?
Someone who only drinks too much once in awhile?
Someone who adheres to the government regulations about weekly units?

I was never a normal drinker based on the above. I abused alcohol from the start, and binged almost each time I drank. I think many people teeter on normal/risky drinking.

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

FFS, if I don't learn how to use the normal a quote button (just to quote a part of a post) I'm gonna run out of colors!!!! But aren't the colors pretty and remind you of spring!?

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

j-vo;1625787 wrote:
But I think I handled it in my own way without going to the bottle is FINALLY my point. Now I'm getting ready to go on the treadmill which should make me feel even better. So thanks for listening to all that.

That is so great, J! Your description of your day sounded so familiar as I read it and I could just feel how it would have ended in the old days. And it would have seemed so justified. There are so many things to do to diffuse tension other than drink but it takes strength, commitment, and guts not to take the easy way out. The posts by Ava and HR that you highlighted also are examples of handling life the best we can. :hug:.

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

j-vo;1625797 wrote: FFS, if I don't learn how to use the normal a quote button (just to quote a part of a post) I'm gonna run out of colors!!!! But aren't the colors pretty and remind you of spring!?

I do like your pretty colors but if you want to learn to do quotes, let me know.

[daisy45]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

J-vo, I know you had a rough day but your post did make me laugh - every cloud?! Hope you exercised yourself into a happy place.....
All going well here - sticking to the exercise, sleep getting better, kids happier and me too, so no news is good news, right?
Looking forward to seeing Rox check-in at Roll-call tomorrow; nightie night all....

[HumbleRider]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Nar! You don't need a glass of wine! Hope you are having something AF today.

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Thanks Humble!
Yes, ginger ale was my drink today. I am watching the Olympics in my hotel room in bed. Sober

J-Vo glad you didn't drink. The treadmill is great!

NS, I can't explain the relapse. I think it is the holiday thing. Just wanting that buzz. I need to stay vigilant.
A normal drinker? I think that is someone that can stop consistently after 1 drink and may have 2 once in a while. They don't obsess about it.

Ava, I will say hi to lord Farquad for you!

Rox, you sound great.
Hi Daisy!

Pav, hello to you too. I appreciate all your posts.

Tomorrow we are taking it easy. We need to relax.

Love you gals!

[little beagle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

J-vo sounds like my day. So glad it's time for bed. Tomorrow will be better.
Sometimes just figuring out exactly what I am feeling is the challenge. After I get to the heart of the matter, I can usually sigh with relief and deal with it.
So nice to hear of others who feel the same way. I am not the only one feeling my way blindfolded through this maze.
Humble I like your 100 day present.
Dottie I have been really feeling for you this winter being stuck inside so much. I am glad you finally got out and had some fun.
Narilly glad you made it af today.
I agree with you No sugar about drinking. I am not what the protocol is for consuming a very addictive poison.
Have a good night all.

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

:lGood to hear from you Nar! Glad you're enjoying Disney/Universal. Are you thawing out? It's going to be single digits here again tonight. Really glad you drank your ginger ale today!!!!

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

x post LB, You're right. Sometimes it is figuring out what's bugging you and then you can deal with it. Even if it's nothing like PMS, at least we can recognize it for what it is and face it head on or hide under the covers like I did today.

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Evening all:

Wow - thanks for all of your posts of encouragement!

I concluded with my counselor about what you all advised (a lot cheaper, too!)

**I shouldn't decide anything big for a long while.
**The feelings I used to avoid with alcohol are much more on the surface. They are there for me to feel and work through rather than avoid.
**Men (not all, as I know some who aren't) are emotionally "challenge," ergo it is up to me to bring up some of the harder conversations with him. He isn't going to do it, largely because that is not in his skill set.
**If I'm not going to divorce him (which I am not), I need to stop deciding that every time we have a fight. A fight is just a fight.
**There are certain aspects of him that will bug the s#!t out of me forever, and I have to accept that I can't change them. These are definitely made sharper by the fact that I can't avoid them by drinking.

I have many more comments to your comments, but my goodness I had a day like many of you and need to get myself to bed. I'll try tomorrow, although I have a late parent meeting. I really read and appreciated all of what you all wrote, I just can't address it individually right now.

Nar - stay strong, lady. We're here for you if you need. Have a wonderful and relaxing day!

xo

[available]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Loamers, well i am glad that my day was like everyone elses nearly. Do we all have PMS, i know i do but feck me. I could have easily drank 100 bottles of wine and wanted 100 more. So i am sitting with a cup of coffee and still annoyed with everything.

NS i classify a normal drinker that can have one wine with a meal and be quite happy and content and sociable with that i suppose. I used to be able to have a wine and not have another for days or weeks. God a 4 litre cask used to last me forever then i started to slide down that path of alcoholism. Today i could quite happily have been a normal drinker ha ha NOT. It was so very tempting and i had no thoughts of going to the bottle shop but the thought was there.

Nar good on you for the ginger beer. You go girl and enjoy your holiday. Give Farquad a kiss for me and take a pic.

Big 7 days for you tomorrow Rox, cant wait to see you wearing your hat girl and the speech too please.

Humble we must have crossed posts. So glad you are going to spoil yourself you deserve it and glad you and hubs could work out your disagreement. Its always good to cool down and then be logical. Me at the moment am so cranky at my 25 year old son but thats another story. This support thing is hard for him to handle and we start arguing like there is no tomorrow. FFS! I am trying to be logical now especially since i am not drinking and trying to explain how i feel and i dont think he is used to this sober mother at all.

Jvo i am loving the colours girl though the green was a bit hard on the eyes. So glad you realised how you felt and went and had some you time, i crawled in with you but you must not have realised i was under the covers crying with you. It cant be the cold weather getting me down. I am trying to figure what chinaman i killed to give me such luck atm.

Dot go girl, you sound so happy except for the big toe lol. I bet hubs is enjoying it too.

Daisy the days are flying by for you and you sound like things or life is falling into place. Keep strong and doesnt it feel good to see the change in your children. I still will not drink any al due to them or you guys.

LB how is the family and the sessions going in the loungeroom. I would love an update please. As i will keep saying you are one strong woman. I'd be scared to face you lol. xx

Pav good to hear that it went well with your counsellor. Life is never meant to be easy i am thinking but gees i get annoyed with the people that seem to cruise through life, i mean how the hell do you do that?

Well i tried to get my gas put back on today so i rang the company and they said i did not have gas with them. mmm i thought well who the hell do i have it with? Rang the boys and got them to go through the mail (i have an aversion to opening mail, an anxiety issue and not a good one), well they could not find anything. So for two hours i tried to find out who it was and rang the same company again and they said "oh yes you do have gas with us but the bills are going to "the homeowner or occupant". After being put through to someone else they said they will have the gas on in 24 hours, i was like can you prioritise that and they said that was a priority. So now i still have no gas, two hours wasted and god only knows what the bill is as they are sending me a bill in my name. i am going to contact the ombudsman tomorrow as i rang the real estate and told them there was something the matter with my hot water so i am stuck with a bill from an electrician. The asked why i didnt ring a week ago and i said i could not pay anything off it as i had paid some vet bills. The are in the wrong so another fight will be on its way but give me grace, i dont need this crap after last week.

So that is my big bitch and i am still cranky and tired and I AM NOT GOING TO DRINK.

Love to you all anyways and sorry for the bitch. xxxx