Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[roxane]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

aww thanks ava. i just find it hard to put my thoughts into coherant sentences.

double figures today, yes. i know we not happy all the time, god knows i know that. i feel flat. bored. dont know what to do with myself. well, i do, but i dont want to do it! feeling lonely too.

i unplugged my old freezer to make sure i defrost it. but i left the door closed as i know it takes about 48 hours to start melting if i did. its started to melt and im sitting here as pools of water gather round. out of sight out of mind haha!

what breed is maddy? 2kg is small so she must be aswell.

[available]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Do we need to make coherent sentences, as long as we express what we want to say then it makes sense in the end. I get what you are saying! I used to re-read everything i typed but god i cant be on here for hours and hours, i do find the "edit" button handy sometimes.

If you dont feel like doing anything dont, its still early days for you and you will feel flat and bored and lonely but remember AL is not your friend. Read to the dog. Hey if the water is on the floor it is actually washing it also so you are killing two birds with one stone! Bonus.

Maddy is a maltese x, she was 9.1kgs when she went into hospital and is now 8.9. lost a whole 200gms in hospital. She actually needs to be 7.5kgs but damn she loves her food. Its hard to be strict with her diet when we have two other dogs but her health is really important. the vet says the dog bones probably did it as when they get over 7 it is harder for them to digest bones.

Now you have double figures, the days will get a bit quicker so that is good. God i cant even remember my days now, how good is that.

I downloaded Hunger Games 2 so going to watch that shortly. My last post took forever to post so think mwo is going to be a pain again tonight.

[roxane]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

if maddy is feeling deprived, will she eat carrot? apple? broccolli stalks? or you could bulk up her dinner with whizzed veggies (minus onion garlic grapes in any form).

ive been doing barely anything for days now and im bored. but i have no motivation. dog didnt go out yesterday as it was absolutely awful. hes a proper walk a day type dog. i feel guilty if he doesnt go out. but i cant be arsed.

i think mainly its because i have to write a letter to someone who i thought was a friend but has taken advantage of me. i loaned her money in time of need and shes getting me to jump through hoops to get it back. nearly 2 years its been going on. sob stories galore including by proxy when she ran out of excuses for herself.
suspended taking it to small claims in december as she said she could pay it back lump sum end if january. shes gone off the radar now. bitch.

i really need to write it but what i write makes no sense!

anyway, enjoy hunger games 2

[available]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

I have to slowly introduce foods to her, atm its chicken and rice and next week some vegetables which i will blend in with the blender i got and wanted i may add for xmas and have used once. yep just the once but its summer so when its winter i will use it more.

As i said just go with the flow of being af, each day is different and your body is still healing and will be for awhile. I actually felt sick last night and wanted to vomit and im like wtf, i didnt even vomit when i was pissed. It spun me out as i thought god "maybe i am having a stroke", then i hit myself around the head and said "hey idiot you are not well and its not from al". STrange feeling that as normally all my illness was al induced. Hard to be normal sometimes.

With friends like that who needs enemies. I dont lend money, A: i dont have any lol. I hope it wasnt much money but by the sounds of it if you have to go to small claims it was a fair amount. dont let her get away with it and accomplishing something to the end is a good feeling now we are sober. I know before i could never be farked finishing anything. Now its the small things that make us proud. Get off your arse and do it girl, get the bitch i say! Dont listen to her excuses you have given her ample time by the sounds of it and who needs friends like that!

Just start writing it and keep going back. You could email me but dont know if i will be much help. NS has that eloquent dialogue.

have not started the movie yet, had a 3 hour nap today so dont feel tired. great nap though and much needed. i never nap that long, normally 1/2 hour and thats me!

[roxane]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

i never lent money before. shes taught me never to again. its money i cant afford, but it was supposed to be short term while she was sorting out a remortgage. well that never happened. because shes not credit worthy, so she lied right off the bat.

according to her, her world is full of major accidents, cancer (hers and others around her), relationship splits, relatives dying, you name it. i lost my patience and when i did, she said she was due a big payment. i havent seen it.

ive been made to feel like shylock. i found out too late shes done this before.

my draft letter to her was like 'gimme ma money you cow'. bitch making me feel guilty for asking for it back!

and breathe..............

freezers defrosted (more or less) so ive done something today at least.

[available]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

I am glad i never used excuses of dying relo's or sickness even when i was at my worst drinking stage, it was more me being sick. Dont feel guilty, take her to small claims and be done with it, let them listen to her bullshit. You should not be guilty, you lent her the money out of the goodness of your heart as you are obviously a good person and she is not.

Well maybe you should work on that letter. I would add "f***ing" before "cow" that makes it sound better.

Keep breathing, if you are feeling low put your head in the freezer and wipe it out. Anger is good and dealing with them sober is an eye opener to say the least.

I am off to bed now. Be good Rox and keep writing, i cant wait to wake up to the whole letter tomorrow. Two sentences maybe haha. You are a better person than her dont forget that girl!

Big hugs

[roxane]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

g'night ava xx

[roxane]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

sorry everyone, this thread turned into the rox and ava thread.

will keeep this stuff on pm from now on.

[available]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

the girls love waking to our chats, dont stress Rox. All posts give us ideas and also other comments and advice on what to do are important in getting through stress.

Hey i like that "Rox and Ava" thread. They are all asleep and quiet bless them and they need something to read while drinking their morning coffees.

[satz123]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

roxane;1627262 wrote: aww thanks ava. i just find it hard to put my thoughts into coherant sentences.

double figures today, yes. i know we not happy all the time, god knows i know that. i feel flat. bored. dont know what to do with myself. well, i do, but i dont want to do it! feeling lonely too.

.

Sounds like me last few weeks Roxy :l
Boredom was what set me off drinking most times.
We spent so much time drinking we are bound to have spare time to be even more bored now. I am determined to find SOMETHING of interest to use the time.
Checking out meditation tomorrow. Getting coaching in how to do it properly !
And I never have any problem with your posts - always coherent - never mad about fluffy long winded stuff to be honest.

[DreamThinkDo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

roxane;1627302 wrote: will keeep this stuff on pm from now on.

WHAT???? Well ok, but just cc me in, ok?

[Rusty]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Good Morning, Lovely LOAM!

Dreamy and Satz....I just said hello to you guys and posted on the Army Thread.

Over and out...hope you're having a sweet day!

[little beagle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Satz do something you have always wanted to do but never made time for when drinking on your vacation. Go somewhere new even if you go alone. That's what I would do. My first af vacation time was stressful At First. But so much more fun then drinking. I had no GSR or hangovers so I gotout and did things. Roxy I loved the lamp post thing you said. So true. Yes what you say is relevant.
Thanks No Sugar.

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Morning Pretty Ladies,

Got great sleep last night! I love weekend sleep not spoiled by alcohol. I had lots of drinking dreams last night, and one that I do remember is that I was so drunk, and people (family/friends) were talking about me in front of me saying, "Yea, look, she really is an alky. She can't handle her booze." I couldn't hide it any longer. That's the way I really was. I couldn't hide it from my dog let alone human beings. But I also recognized another trigger last night. And not too proud of this, but I guess when you've been married as long as I have (24 years) and with the same partner for ten years prior to that, it may come down to this: I drank so I didn't have to have sex sober. Sad, I know. But true. I know that once we have time to work on our relationship, I may be able to change and approach things differently. I just have to suck it up once in a while and I will. Wow, probably too much information. Sorry.

Pav, I hope your time away the next few weekends go well. You're so much better now and able to handle the things that are coming your way with a sober mind. And when you're not feeling strong, come here and ask for help.

NS, you're right, Nothing is a constant here on earth. I like that we're not going to stay "stuck" in the same feelings though. It gives me hope that i always won't have to struggle to think of the "right" thing to do. Change is so hard and takes lots of work but we're worth it. You said about increasing the odds that we'll be able t handle what comes our way. I know I can handle lots of little things now. Actually, things that made me drink before, I'm able to handle and not drink through them now. But bigger situations...that's scary. Life threatening things. Son. I don't know. Just those big things I can't see me getting through or believing that I can do it.

Ava, you recognize what you "lose it" on - those situations which create anxiety in you. That's half the battle. Now how to react to those situations is where we need to put other things in place. I love the idea of taking ABs on your vacation to ensure that you can't slip up if you and mom do have a little disagreement or you feel shaky.

Humble, thank you for such a nice post!!! And we all must be bingeing on sugar, although I am making a big attempt to put whole foods, less sugar, unprocessed foods into my mouth. I'm starting to recognize everything that I'm eating, I'm trying to "clean" it up.

Rox, if you wanna talk about social anxiety, I'm probably your girl. I've had it all my adult life. Happy 10 Days!!!!!! And NS says only do what you really feel like doing. If you feel like being lazy, then be lazy. If you feel like getting a pedi, then do that. Do something nice for yourself when you feel like it. You deserve it and you're doing so well.

Dottie, I know! More snow! We'll be buried forever!

Satz, great question, and I think that's good to think about now. I know I have a big vacation coming up at the end of June, and I think LB's advice was great. Do something you would not have done on vacation. I know most of my time was spent on drinking and laying near a pool or beach. Well, the pool or beach will not change, but I'd like to do things like get up early and take nice walks, do some snorkeling or other fun activities such as that. I'm gong to do lots of thinking about that before I go, as this is with my husband's whole family, and only a a few are heavy drinkers. I want to have my first "real" vacation AF and feel great about it.

LB, I think your meetings are such an awesome idea. You may get more out of them on certain nights, depending on family moods, what happened in their day...just like my kids at school. I can have the best lesson planned, and it's a flop because they're excited that it's snowing outside and they may get an early dismissal because of it. So talking about these issues is what's most important. Say hi to your doggies for me. Hugs too!

SL? Where are you?
Nar, when do you go home?

Ok, gonna get ready for my long day. Dentist, basketball game, then more concession stand work. Here we go!!! Have a super duper day Pretty LOAMERS.

[available]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Loamers, well a quiet bunch again, gees guys c'mon you cant be that boring, well Jvo isnt thank god.

Satz my plan at the moment is to walk away if she starts and if that means just getting up and walking away for me time then so be it. She's already on a roll so why not give her something else to bitch about. I am thinking of going to drs and getting AB, I am taking my laptop so will be coming on here. Its way too hot to do much during the day other than shopping and its the 3rd time i have been there so i am just going to relax. Us redheads cant chill around the pool either for any amount of time. Lots of af cocktails for me, lots of reading and god forbid i may enter that forbidden place called a "gym". I am not going to get involved with any indepth discussions with my mother as they always end badly and that is a big trigger on me getting pissed off and wanting al. If i need i will just leave her to her own devices and go for a walk but i do know i will not drink AT her, even though she is my mother and i love her i will not let her make me drink. I also have my kids at home for support and i will face time them if necessary to chat, they know how i would have reacted previously to mum and they definitely dont want me to drink.

Jvo, now here you are avoiding it and here i am trying to get it! I do know when i was married it became a chore, sex that is, but hey its only 5 mins out of your life when you think about it. thanks for waking me up with a laugh. Maybe when you get more af days things will change if not i have some great books and internet web sites haha! Oh the joys of being single and married for that matter. Jvo i can tell you now there is no "if" with my mother on what she will blurt out its just when and it is a big focus with me atm on my dealings with these situations, 7 weeks but who's counting. I have to go to the drs to get blood test results next week so will talk to him then. Who would have thought that i have had two blood tests since giving up al and before when i was drinking i had one 10 years ago. Funny how we do things now sober that we avoided like the plague when drinking.

Dream now how could we possibly forget you but pm'ing is a pain and that little box you have to type in, such a chore. i will still ramble on here as per usual.

Rox how did that letter finish up or still contemplating?

Well it is lovely and cool here today and a bit of rain. Liams dog woke me scratching on my door this morning and i was having such a lovely lay in. Its nice when there is not bright blinding sunlight making you wake up. Lots to do today, take maddy for a walk to start ridding her of her love handles, go food shopping which i did not do yesterday, watch a dvd and try not to think about work tomorrow. Its a great life being af and those niggling al thoughts have completely gone again though i am having weird dreams also and i sooo cant remember what they were. Damn.

Hope everyone is being strong and big hugs from me.
xx