Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Girls, I love your posts.

J-Vo, when did you start drinking? I started around 14 and I think lots of kids start before they are 16. I think my guy started around 15 or 16. I think that is 'normal'. Not saying it is good or ok but that is when they start alot of times.

LB, I was stressing I wasn't doing enough also. But you know, it is hard enough to find time to post here. I find this thread the best thing I have found to help me abstain. You ladies have become my friends and it is one of the best things for me right now.

Ava, my hubs and kids didn't say anything. I justified it by saying "I am on holidays!" and we were all in a good mood. When I wanted to buy the bottle of wine, my hubby said "are you sure, I don't want you to beat yourself up if you drink more". It was his way of trying to get me to stop but he knows better than to get between me and that bottle! Crazy AL. Anyway, I am feeling good. Still have a headache from flying but it is not a hangover...OR maybe it is? I probably poisioned myself on Saturday night and am still processing the AL out of my body. I just thought of that! F'n AL.

Pav, a routine is great. I think that is definitely what I need when I go on vacation or anything like that. I don't know what I will do when I retire! Holy crap.
I also ate sweets last night. I had some creamcheese red velvet Gelato with Chocolate Gelato. Holy Moley it was good!!! It is all local made and so Fresh, Sweet, and delicious with bits of cake in the gelato. I drool as I type...

Anyway, back to work sweet gals.

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi, All:

J-Vo - I believe it is work to stay sober. LuckyFlower just posted that she drank after 120 days. FFS - this shit is sneaky! I feel that if we don't work - it doesn't have to be toiling all day every day, but checking in with our sober community - it will sneak up on us. I agree with LB - the "work" is checking in here and keeping myself accountable to you all, as well as processing thoughts I have or questions. It REALLY helps me to have this site and you ladies to do that with. LB has one of the sets of tailfeathers I hold on tight to, so I figure we should listen to her... 180 days for you and hubs is amazing!

I had a drinking dream again last night. I was cross country skiing (in a race, I don't do it in real life, but I guess the Olympics are sneaking in), and to celebrate the end I picked up two beers. I thought to myself - do I really want to do this? and I said YES! I opened one, had a small sip and felt so bad and guilty that I got up and gave them to the women at the table next to mine. Then I started wondering if I had to report that here (I decided yes, it would count). I was grateful to wake up and have it be a dream, but it continues to remind me that being accountable here is very necessary for me.

I'm off on a short trip with my son. I'll try to check in at least once a day. Hope you all have happy, sober weeks!

[giraffe1234]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi everyone - what's with the eating and sugar? I also had a complete melt-down this weekend and stuffed my face with whatever carb-laden sweet things I could lay my hands on. Peanut butter from the bottle, biscuits, cake, chocolates, left-over dessert, rusks - I carried on and on like there was no tomorrow. And this after I had lost almost 9kg in less than 2 months on the Dukan diet. Now back to phase 1 for a few days.
LuckyFlower, sorry to hear about drinking after 120 days. I am really petrified that I will do that too. On Sunday evening I came very close. (But I had eaten so much, the wine would have had very little effect.) Hang in there LF - sending positive thoughts your way.
Good night everyone.

[roxane]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

I'm getting rather cross with myself.

Got to day 10 and started drinking again. May remember (or not) I finally got 1 day, then 3 days in a week, then 4 days, 10 days.

Now it's fifth day of drinking.

In the greater scheme of things, it's not the end of the world (it is really), from all I know, I can't understand what the hell is driving me to drink! I get the theory, I've read and read. I 'get' it.

Yes, addiction.

Ma?ana.

I said before I was feeling bored among other things. It wasn't boredom. It was not quite anxiety, fidgety? I had nothing to fill the gap that opened up. I still don't. I have nothing to fill that gap. Nothing I want to do.

February is a shite month in Britain so that doesn't help but I've been lucky that I've not been in the parts of the country that has had persistent rain and flooding. It's been sunny today.

I like being sober, reading before sleep, bad sleep but feel ok, pains gone.

Oh bollocks to it.

[HumbleRider]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi all,
Quick check in. I also had a drinking dream last night, but I didn't drink, whereas earlier in my quit I was always dreaming about actually drinking or being sorely tempted. This time I was at a party climbing some stairs onto a loft-like porch. There was a beer in the way when I reached the top, so I picked it up to move it and with an air of finality put it down further from the steps. I thought to myself in my dream that I had no desire to drink and that it would be great for everyone there to see me calmly avoiding alcohol. Yay!

[HumbleRider]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

xpost Rox. I used to do what you are doing all the time. The difference for me now is that I finally got it that starting up again is a recipe for disasterous continuation. No doubt about it for me. If I get drunk or even get a buzz, I'll think, oh what the hey, might as well continue on. I will each morning have that hungover resolve not to drink that will go away by the afternoon, when I will get all excited thinking about that bottle of wine. Then I will happily pick it up at the store and down it. Cycle then starts all over again until I am in my cups 24/7, and when not, like at work, I will be planning my drinking time, drinking, then recovering from drinking. It's not easy to stop once you start, so for me, I can't start again. Please not that again.

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

roxane;1628865 wrote:
I said before I was feeling bored among other things. It wasn't boredom. It was not quite anxiety, fidgety? I had nothing to fill the gap that opened up. I still don't. I have nothing to fill that gap. Nothing I want to do.

I'm sorry you're back in the cycle, Roxy. This is why it is so important to have a plan - a really detailed plan - if filling that time gap is a problem for you.

Maybe you need to have a set activity outside your drinking place for the time of day when you normally begin drinking. Something like a volunteer opportunity, a movie with a friend, some time at the library, etc. Even if you don't particularly want to do something else, you need to. Drinking is the easy way to fill the time - it takes some initiative and hard work to get past it but it is truly truly worth it.

xx, NS

[available]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Loamers hello

LB you are never preachy, i take in all that you say girl, i totally admire you and yes we have to do what we think is right for us as individuals.

Jvo lovely hello, i hope the funeral went as well as funerals do, touch wood i have not had to go to one for a couple of years. My motto is to keep it simple, i come on here and sometimes i read threads but i dont drink, its simple. If i need help i will ask and i love reading here everyday to keep me thinking and on track. In saying that if i ever needed more i would ask, now i feel i can and not be ashamed.

Nar you made me laugh and that is so true, nothing will come between us and a bottle if we want it and i am sure i would totally be the same if push came to crunch. I am so glad you are positive and ready to move onwards. Did you save me any gelato, damn that sounds nice. i am craving sweets big time again, seemed to stop for a week or two and back to it again.

Pav another mini vacation, lucky you, hope you are going somewhere warm. I read about luckyflower and i had nothing to say to her post, i was gob smacked and sad for her and thought we can never ever let our guard down with al. As Nar said "nothing would come between me and a bottle", god i get so cranky that al can do this to us but we need to be reminded that this is a daily journey.

If you are reading LF big hugs to you and i admire your honesty on posting.

Giraffe another laugh for the morning, yesterday at lunch instead of having a sandwich i bought 3 bags of lollies and ate them. I was like wtf am i doing but my body was screaming for sugar still. I am trying not to worry as quitting is much more important but i have to come to some realisation that its not doing my figure any favours.

Rox never give up giving up, you will get your head around it. We have all stopped and started, thought whats the point, i love al but do we love it enough to let it kill us. I didnt. Boredom is a huge factor with not drinking al and everyone seems to be doing stuff and i keep thinking about it but at least i am thinking of doing stuff and not drinking. You wil get there, dont ever give up.

Humble, what a great dream, i dont dream much about al which is great but when i do it always makes me grateful that i dont drink. Great post for Rox and the planning, the promising oneself not to drink, the thinking after work we deserve it, which shop, do i have enough money, i wont pay this bill so i can have wine, i deserve it, totally deserve that drink. Now i dont deserve to drink, i dont need to drink and i never will drink again.

Hey NS, well i have run out of time, shower and get ready for work for me. a lovely cool day with some rain i hope. the problem is as soon as people get a drop of rain on themselves or their car they turn into total idiots driving so today i need eyes in the back of my head.

Loving that everyone is posting again and waiting with baited breath for Dot's pic.

xxxxx

[sweetpea29]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

roxane;1628865 wrote: I'm getting rather cross with myself.

Got to day 10 and started drinking again. May remember (or not) I finally got 1 day, then 3 days in a week, then 4 days, 10 days.

Now it's fifth day of drinking.

In the greater scheme of things, it's not the end of the world (it is really), from all I know, I can't understand what the hell is driving me to drink! I get the theory, I've read and read. I 'get' it.

Yes, addiction.

Ma?ana.

I said before I was feeling bored among other things. It wasn't boredom. It was not quite anxiety, fidgety? I had nothing to fill the gap that opened up. I still don't. I have nothing to fill that gap. Nothing I want to do.

February is a shite month in Britain so that doesn't help but I've been lucky that I've not been in the parts of the country that has had persistent rain and flooding. It's been sunny today.

I like being sober, reading before sleep, bad sleep but feel ok, pains gone.

Oh bollocks to it.

Hi to all Loamers and you Roxy:l

Sorry that you're struggling and as NS says 'back in the cycle' I remember those days well and imagine if I were to lift just one drink tonight would be off again on that road to nowhere.

As you say yourself it is this feckin thing called addiction.

I'm crap at giving out advice, but for me to stop it did take a plan. Plan to be off work to have treats other than wine in the house. Plenty of bubble baths and lots and lots of reading here. It helped to have a clear picture in my head of what wine did to me, ya know? the negatives- puffiness, bloating, lethargy, poor eating choices, isolation, anxiety, depression etc... also had a picture in my head of being years down the road of alcoholism - jobless, homeless, no sense of self-respect or worth- basically better off dead. It took a choice of not wanting to go there- instead wanting to live a life I knew deep-down, I deserved.

It's not easy but it can be done. You know this as ye have already done 10 days:l Don't give up giving up xx We have all been there xx

[roxane]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Thanks sweetpea, I think I've probably bored you in the army thread as well.

I had a plan. I put everything in place.

I am not a mad drunk, so I can't imagine the homeless scenario, losing friends? I don't really have any. I'm good at covering my tracks.

I'm not losing sight of the fact that I can do this. I can. I will.

Just some stupid bit of stress and bang, I'm at it again.

ETA. Thanks for responses, my head is all over the place, I can't concentrate.

[sweetpea29]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

roxane;1628899 wrote: Thanks sweetpea, I think I've probably bored you in the army thread as well.

I had a plan. I put everything in place.

I am not a mad drunk, so I can't imagine the homeless scenario, losing friends? I don't really have any. I'm good at covering my tracks.

I'm not losing sight of the fact that I can do this. I can. I will.

Just some stupid bit of stress and bang, I'm at it again.

ETA. Thanks for responses, my head is all over the place, I can't concentrate.

That's the spirit Roxy:l

May I ask- hope ye don't mind! What happened that caused you to deviate from the plan? Was it the stress of yer woman who owed ye money?

[roxane]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Yes, I think it was. At least, it was the biggest duck in the row.

[sweetpea29]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

roxane;1628906 wrote: Yes, I think it was. At least, it was the biggest duck in the row.

Sorry disappeared there Roxy- unexpected visitors landed on me!

Look, know you already know this, and apologies for stating obvious, but drinking at that problem or any for that matter is not going to make it disappear or get any better, yeah? That woman has already robbed you of money don't allow her or thought of that to rob you of anything else xx

Tell yourself you are worth much more than that, cos you are xx

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Roxane, don't let that woman WIN. She can't drive you to drink, only you can make that choice. I totally agree with sweetpea.
I know it doesn't take much sometimes to Cave but this woman is crap. Well, onward and upward now, right?

I am happy to be sober myself after my holiday.

Well, I am busy here at work so I will have to chime in later.

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

The Feb 6 entry about the importance of daily attention to sobriety is really good. It speaks to the surprise LuckyFlower expressed in the NN about finding herself drinking when everything had been going so well: One Crafty Mother.