Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[little beagle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Lifechange so glad to see you here. I have struggled with the thought of "taking a break" from posting and reading, just basically doing my work on recovery. But I see so many people who have and come back because they didn't get the support they needed to stay in recovery. I just know that I can't go down that road again. I don't know if I HAVE another quit in me. I made the resolution to do what ever it took to not go back to the hell I was living. Besides, where would I be without my daily laughter from Ava, my words of wisdom from No Sugar, Jane's sweetness, Pav'supportive posts, HumbleRider's quiet thoughtful posts...and it goes on. Giving help to those who I am able to help each day keeps me accountable. I need that. Every single day.
My gratitude for the day is that I do not walk this path alone. It is a challenging place to be in for sure, but there is strength in numbers.
Byrdie has told me this and I believe everything that lady tells me.

[lifechange]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

I feel like coming home!:l
My immediate plan is to put staying sober back in the number 1 spot. Nothing is more important and everything else in my life depends on it. The main thing I did differently the last time I quit and really began to change my life, was using this site as if my life depended on it. It was around 100 days, when I went to visit my family in the states and didn't think I had time or "needed" the support-- I didn't want anything to get in the way of the time I had with them--, when I first took some distance from you all. And in hindsight it was too soon to be on my own. Coming here kept what I was trying to do in the forefront of my mind, the reality of what I had been through and what I was trying to conquer fresh.
Every time I've "started over" (I'm like a broken record!), I have been so excited about the possibility of a life without AL, I have jumped in full force, made plans, got some time under my belt, and then before I know it I'm back at square one. I want it to be different this time-- but I'm not quite sure how that is going to happen. I guess to start with I have to start. Which I have.

I've missed some big milestones while being away.. LB, big congrats on 300 days! I read your "speech" and was very moved. And I'm so happy for your husband on his accomplishment. 180, I think. And Jane hit the big 50! Wonderful!! And Ava, love, you and Pav are up there at almost 100, aren't you? I have to go and check out the roll call.
Rox, no one has ever said I'm a better man than they..:thanks:!! and Dreamy, I have so missed your morning coffees. I have sneaked a few, if you want to know the truth..
j-vo, I am happy to see you doing so well! You are a rockin'!

ok. off to read some more. I didn't make it to the gym and probably won't today. Although it is my number 2 priority, and absolutely essential to my recovery--as Pav said, medicine!--I actually needed today to just re-group. Will go out for a short run.

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

So good to see you back, LC :l!

I was really eager to see you here today and was thinking about you a lot last night. I think you were pretty interested in the Rational Recovery approach, right? So am I. Their tag line about "I don't drink and I'm never going to change my mind" or something like that used to be in your signature.

In many ways, I am using the RR approach (and other similar pragmatic approaches such as described by Allan Carr and Jason Vale) - it is much much more my style to learn everything I can, make a decision, and stick with it (unless I'm faced with overwhelming information to the contrary) than to fight a daily battle, consider the possibility/probability of relapse, consider myself chronically diseased, etc. I freak out much less at the thought of never drinking again than I do when I consider facing a challenge day after day after day. I also believe that it is in everyone's power at any time to simply decide to be done. The RR argument for that is very convincing.

However, RR recommends making that decision to never drink again but strongly advises against participating in any sort of recovery program or with interacting with other people with the same problem. That is where I think RR is dead wrong. Once that decision to stop drinking is made, you have to do something to keep your determination strong. I suppose you could look at the 28 RR "flash cards" everyday or continuously read the Allan Carr and Jason Vale books but I'm not sure that that would be effective, at least not for me.

I've found that taking the very pragmatic approach of RR, Vale, and Carr but staying involved here, getting and receiving support and there by recommitting daily in a positive way to my decision never to drink again, really works.

Anyway, I'm so glad you're ready to get back to the wonderful place you were at the end of 2013.

xx, NS

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

I agree with you LB - that posting daily is a necessary part of our recovery. I believe it is for all of us -stay close and post when you're feeling great or down. Someone from the group will be up when someone is down.

NS, I read the RR, Jason's and Allan Carr's books. The RR was good at creating new pathways in the brain. Allan Carr and Jason Vale was a good as well. Just like losing weight - find the right diet, stick with it and you'll lose weight. Follow the right recovery program for yourself, stick with it, and be happy in sobriety and life.

[Dottie Belle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

ava his procedure went well and we will know more in a coup of days when the labs come back.
I am in today doing laundry..it is 20F and just too darn cold to go out....and I am trying to organize the tax stuff for us, my dad and the rental house...I want to go hide....

[lifechange]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

I am so grateful today to be here. I feel free again, as I haven't since I began letting that beast of a voice in my head get the best of me.
NS, you're right, I used to use that line a lot and now I have put it in my signature. I agree with you said about RR-- it makes sense to me in a lot of ways but I feel the group support is important. Obviously for me and for most of us.

Today I tried not to think things to death. And not to read into any "signs"! I just took care, took to heart all of the great posts here, read the articles about sugar and decided to just quit with that, too, had a short run and a bath. Dealt with a bit of discomfort thinking about my troubled relationship and how I will possibly be able to find a solution. Like so many have said, the dealing with discomfort and sadness is what often throws me for a loop. Feeling like I can't bare the pressure in my chest, the fear of the unknown. But I breathed deeply and thought about all of you overcoming the same obstacles.

hugs to you all and I look forward to seeing you tomorrow. or in the middle of the night if i can't sleep!!

[lifechange]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

hi Dottie! your new little Maddie sure is a cute dog. I'm glad the procedure with hubs went well -- do you have time today to cuddle up under a blanket with a warm water bottle and watch a film? :l

[Dottie Belle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Doc called today and the biopsies are all negative....WooHoo...he is always worried since he had prostate cancer 2 years ago....we can exhale now!!
My friends who dog sit for us came by for a visit..I wanted them to meet the new fellow...he ran to the kitchen to meet them but the girls were too loud so he went back to the couch..it will get better with time..

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Dot, great news!! After having cancer, I don't think something like that goes without worry. Prayer works wonders. Good for Maddie! That's a start - going to meet the girls.

LifeChange, I think I drank for more than just comfort and numbness. I drank when I was happy, celebratory, you name it and it was a good reason to drink. But you're right - during those down times, it's good to start reacting differently and behaving differently. - toolbox!!!!!

Ok, so yesterday I was grateful for my school kids singing happy birthday to me because they knew I was sad about something. Today was a good day at work, albeit a little stressful as I had to become more assertive with someone--never an easy thing for me. I felt the tension between us, but just kept on moving to my next task without giving any thought to it or at least pretending. Fake it till you make it!

Now for eating like the grocery stores are closing down in the next hour. And when my ass hits the couch after my nap, that's it. Hmm. To tackle this one, I just don't know,

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Oh, I think I have found a new addiction! Pinterest!

[MossRose]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi everyone. NS has invited me several times to join this thread, and I think that would be lovely. There's so much positive energy here, and so many of you have been on this journey with me from the beginning. This feels like home. So if it's ok with all of you, I would like to start posting regularly.

Dot - so glad to hear the tests came back good.

LC - I haven't had time to read back a whole lot, but I take it that you have been struggling. Glad you are back on track and from the sounds of it, determined and strong. I have been taking a few mini-breaks from MWO recently myself. I too was sick and tired of thinking about AL in general. There I said it. I really thought I was strong enough to just get on with the business of living my life. Well, it was a disaster. And here I am. Glad you decided to come back.

j-vo, sorry you've been in a funk, but I love your story about your kids singing to you. Made my day.

And to everyone else here, blessings and love. Many of you reached out to me on Sunday and I appreciate it very much. Things are peaceful here. Yesterday was my birthday. It was my first sober birthday in probably 3 decades. I spent it home, alone - but that was by choice - my sons' were both working and I didn't want to go out with friends for obvious reasons. So, I made a nice meal, took a hot bath, made a list of things I want to accomplish in the next year, and then got a good night's sleep. It was a very good day.

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

:bday7::bday3:Happy belated birthday MossRose! So Glad you're joining our Loamers Thread!

I just read above in meds thread that a woman, 52, named "Sticky" passed. Her struggle with Al, Bac, and other prescription meds won - I believe she took her life. An 11 and 15 year old son and Husband. It's heartbreaking to think of the children going on without their Mother. RIP Sticky.

[HumbleRider]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

So happy to see you here, LC and Moss. Your presence will benefit all, and I'm looking forward to getting to know you better. I remember both of you from the NN and have always appreciated your posts, your support and determination.

Ava, you crack me up the way you explained your upside down computer screen. I'm here alone laughing out loud.

NS, good post about RR, etc. I agree with you, if it weren't for all of you, I do not believe that I would be sober today, or any day for the past few months for that matter.

LB, thank you for [I]your[I] thoughtful posts. I so appreciate your strength.

Dottie, good news. Everyone else, good to read we are all here, AF.

I can't believe it's 4:30. I've said it before, but I was terrified about what to do with my time if I quit drinking. I couldn't imagine being anything but bored and anxious. Now, I'm wishing for more hours in each day. I've got healthier addictions now, like reading, taking pictures, watching a little television, actually having a coherent conversation with my husband after dinner. Oh, I've also retained a few bad ones, like smoking. I quit for many years, but I now smoke about 3-4 cigarettes a day. I need to stop that and stop eating so much sugar. I might as well have it right out of the box at this rate.

Have to go clean the kitchen and start dinner. Have a great MAE all!

[MossRose]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

j-vo - I went to the meds thread and read about Sticky. I am heart sick. She must have been in torment. I feel terrible even though I never met her. It sounds like she was a nice person who just couldn't overcome the demon. How very sad for her and her family.

[little beagle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Glad you are here Mossrose.
Don't worry if I don't post as much in the next couple of days. Saturday is our big Mardi Gras parade day. Lots of work to be done. I have my plan posted on the fridge on staying af through this challenge.
This really is so much fun. One of the biggest social events of the year for us here. I have a really cute outfit ready and we are eating a HUGE breakfast that day.
Have a good one all.