Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

This is a very good place to post, Moss. I would break a "rule" for my dog, too. Maybe you can keep your interactions with EX very businesslike - then come post away your frustrations instead of drinking at them, ok?

There were so many posts today partly b/c I was in Work-Avoidance mode. I'll try to work harder tomorrow .

[little beagle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Mossrose I am so sorry. And yes this is the place to talk to people who care what your problems are. You have a wonderful heart.
Pav I think that you are right about us stsnding up for ourselves more sober then drinking. Before I always felt like such a loser. That my opinions didn't count. Now I feel so much better about myself that I think I deserve to be treated with respect not contempt and indifference.
I got popped in the mouth tonight. Not hard but insulting. I am overtired and have too much responsibility right now. Two people living with me new to sobriety. I am afraid to push too much, but I guess my attitude sucks. I know I am working on it. I will get there. One day at a time.
Ava I love your posts. A bright spot in my day.

[Icanwithoutacan]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Pop in-
Congrats Ava! That is wonderful 90 days. You must be so proud and feeling good!
Glad to see MR still posting)
I have 76? Days I think.... Been finding myself more tempted lately? Why is that? I have been more irritable as well. Thanks for the PMs on the emotions LB!
See y'all

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Whoot Whoot, Ava! You are still only on day 89 here, but I'll celebrate anyway. Too hard to keep up. I am so excited to follow in your footsteps.

Hiya, I can and Sweetpea - thanks for stopping by.

Nar - I just had dinner with very good friends, sober, and had a wonderful time. There are still times when I know alcohol would make the conversation seem less awkward to me, but my guess is that would be a perception rather than reality.

Humble - that sounds like a very sweet memorial day ritual. Since you have done it before, I know you can do it again. Is there another way to honor your son's memory? Do something that he would have loved to do? I agree with Ava - your strong determination in spite of all that pain is inspirational.

Moss - it does go fast sometimes. No one here (if I may speak for you all) expects long, responsive posts every time. Use this thread for what works for you. I hope your doggie is ok, and that you don't get duped by that FWAD (as we've taken to calling nasty Exes here) again. Whatever happens, don't give him the power of causing you to drink again. You're better than that!

LB - do you mean literally hit in the mouth?? What? I hope you DO take care of yourself first - like on the airplane, secure your safety before you work on the safety of others. You have set yourself up with the gigantic task of keeping yourself sober while trying to keep a family together. Don't forget the Little Beagle!

LC - I'm not sure I picture you a squirrel - you seem much more calm than that. Glad you're doing well.

Pauly - thanks for the drop by. I hope you're doing well. I loved Ava's message in the nest - the beast is looking for you at 1 since he can't find you at 5.

J-vo - you DO sound great. Yes, confidence is much higher without alcohol in the picture. My friends today said I looked "sexy" (in my cardigan and mom jeans) and much better than I have in a while. This AF life is agreeable in so many ways.

NS - I am glad you are feeling better after last week. My conversation with my friends tonight included the fact that being sober for and understanding your emotions doesn't mean that they don't come, only that you can react to them with the understanding that you will make it through them, and can it through them without the crutch of alcohol.

Rox - Ava and I can be thuggish if you need. Just say the word. I hope you're ok.

Giraffe - bear hugs work, even from giraffes.

Ok, Loamers. Thanks for being there. I'm ending Feb 27 in my neck of the woods - tomorrow I will be 89 days sober.

xo
Pav

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Pav, we didn't cross post! Thanks for the encouragement. I will remember what you said on Sat night. You are a great help to me. What great insights you provide, thank you!

Moss, follow your gut. I would do that for my dog too. You are a very kind person.

Girls, I am tired so I will talk to you tomorrow.

Here is a big Giraffe like bear hug from me!

[lifechange]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Good morning lovey Loamers!

ok Ava, I did it! I baked you a super decadent cake with delicious sugary icing and 90 candles! As I always say to my girls, "just pay attention to your tummy! I don't want to hear anything about stomach aches!". I love your waffling, by the way!

Pav, I know I'm not a squirrel!! They are very cute, but not my personality type at all. The selection of avatars is so crap though and I didn't want to take one that someone else already has. NS sent me a link about downsizing photos so maybe sometime this month I'll figure it out! Day 89 today!!! Can't wait to celebrate with you tomorrow. sexy lady!

LB, are your kids back living with you? It takes an amazing amount of strength and love to be able to help and support others. Like Pav said, and like you know and have done before, you have to continue to put yourself and your sobriety first so that you CAN continue to help others. That derailed me a bit last time as I decided to drink to escape instead of dealing with the real problems. You really inspire me, dear Beagle.

Moss, I agree with everyone that here is the place to post about everything-- and we shouldn't get overwhelmed with trying to keep up! Just a quick, "hi, I'm here!" -- I also didn't feel like I could keep up in the Nest. Here I will post something short or long each day for at least a YEAR! That seems like such a long time-- but I so want to know myself as myself. I got a glimpse last year and even with all the normal problems of life, I was never so happy. :l

As far as not drinking with friends goes, I'm in there! I am lucky to have 3 best girlfriends who know about my struggles with al and who in no way give me grief or push me to drink. In fact, quite the contrary. Still sometimes it's hard to be around them and we tend to meet more often now during the day. I would love to have some friends in the flesh who DON'T drink because they've chosen not to, for whatever reasons. I don't know anyone!

Off to work again, jiggity jig.
see you all later.xo

[little beagle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Lifechange I like the squirrel. Sorry about earlier. I freaked out a little.
I have been behaving disrespectfully with my hubby lately. I just can't seem to get him to listen. Maybe all the drinking, etc. Has affected his attention span? Anyway I wrote it all down for him to read. It is a lot, but I really have to come to terms with the facts.
Ok. We have meetings. Hubby, his daughter, (boyfriend gone permanently) and myself. It started off that everyone was suppose to work and contribute, but I am the only one of us actually doing anything. Coming up with information. Having a support group to go to. In other words, I am the only one working on my sobriety. This IS distressing. I mean, the other stuff is frustrating, the money, the lack of motivation to care for our home, etc. All of that could get better, but these people show no ambition in ANY area and the lack of motivation for keeping clean and not doing drugs is really getting to me. You can only help someone who wants help. Right?

[available]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Freaking out is ok LB, we all have days like that. me today, well i am just smiling, cant help myself being happy even though sick. I actually went out and bought myself two new bras as a reward for 90 days and an electric toothbrush. not sure if they are rewards others would pick but its what i wanted and bugger the money i deserve it.

Well at least you are working at the meetings but damn i would be frustrated if they did not contribute or make an effort. Its a bit like hitting your head against a brick wall and probably less painful sometimes. I live with my 20 and 25 year old sons and man they are so lazy but i give them two things to do a day, that is all their brains can deal with, anymore and nothing gets done so maybe you could try that. I dont yell at them if its not done but i do state that i go to work everyday and i dont ask much in the scheme of things.

The other option is to say Fark You both and see if that shocks them into action. I cant imagine you being disrespectful LB, i can imagine you being totally pissed off and frustrated and therefore angry at him especially since you are doing it all and being so strong but we can only be so strong for others if they give also. When my son came home with his crack addiction i told him i would help him as much as possible and put into place help but ultimately it was up to him to carry it through and he has, he goes to his counselling, takes his meds but i really want him to work so when the end of March comes that is on my "to do" list for him.

Ican we all go through the "tempting" stage at some point. Keep on here and post like I do and say how you feel, we will set you right dont worry about that one! You dont need al, remember your worst hangover or embarrassing moment and that sets me straight. Even though drinking is a vague memory it is not one that i want to be a fresh memory.

LC yummo and i am watching my tummy grow but i will concentrate on that at a later date. You will get to know everyone on here, there arent that many of us compared to the NN and we all post daily or else get stalked so much easier to post and keep us happy and quiet.

Pav i have been waiting for you to post and thank you my special friend, we will keep walking this walk together but even though you are lagging by a day it is still a pleasure to be with you. I am glad you had the "massacre" so that you could be with me. I dont think i ever did find out what actually happened on that day.

well my lovelies you are all so very special to me and i cant say that enough really.

xx

[little beagle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Thanks Ava. You made me feel better. I really am trying to be patient.

[HumbleRider]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi all, it's 1 in the morning, and I'm not asleep yet. About the memorial event, I mentioned that I would just gamble and smoke instead of drinking, but I should explain that's a joke. I am so not a gambler, have a fixed (low) amount I will spend, and don't go over that. I'm sure I'll be fine. We will have a great time, and I won't drink. I'm happy that I don't drink instead of frustrated that I can't, which makes all the difference. I didn't have time to read everyone's posts closely but it seems all is well, yay. I'm going to try to get some shut-eye. xo

[little beagle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Ava Congratulations on 90 wonderful, alcohol free days. Good job taking back your life.:wave::banana:
That sounds like a great plan Humble. I am glad you are looking ahead and planning it out. That has gotten me through some challenging times.

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Humble, I think you summed up our mission right here:

HumbleRider;1632338 wrote: I'm happy that I don't drink instead of frustrated that I can't, which makes all the difference.
Thank you for that easy-to-remember goal

little beagle;1632316 wrote:
I have been behaving disrespectfully with my hubby lately. I just can't seem to get him to listen. Maybe all the drinking, etc. Has affected his attention span? ... In other words, I am the only one working on my sobriety. This IS distressing. I mean, the other stuff is frustrating, the money, the lack of motivation to care for our home, etc. All of that could get better, but these people show no ambition in ANY area and the lack of motivation for keeping clean and not doing drugs is really getting to me. You can only help someone who wants help. Right?

little beagle;1632248 wrote:

I got popped in the mouth tonight. Not hard but insulting. I am overtired and have too much responsibility right now. Two people living with me new to sobriety. I am afraid to push too much, but I guess my attitude sucks. I know I am working on it. I will get there. One day at a time. .

Hey, Little Beagle
I think you are the one who is being treated disrespectfully. You also seem to be feeling guilty for what are normal responses to being treated poorly. I realize that your family requires delicate handling right now and perhaps you feel like you have to take this kind of treatment for them to stay open to working for this goal you have set for them. I wouldn't presume to give you advice about all that -- you are showing such great love and compassion towards them. They clearly wouldn't be able to do this without you.

But you should be insulted and mad that you were hit. That is never ok. Whoever did it owes you an apology and a commitment never to do it again.

You probably are overtired and you do have too much responsibility but your attitude does not suck. You have one of the most positive attitudes in negative circumstances that I have ever witnessed - here or in my real life.

You are working on your sobriety and you are dragging them along on theirs. Since their commitment depends on your efforts, you are in a very difficult position but you've explained before that you want to hold this family together and you're willing to do what it takes.

But I hope you don't let that be at the expense of you. Just because they are addicts does not give them permission to treat anyone, but especially you, badly.

If the situation you're in makes it just too hard to challenge them, please at least feel free to vent here. It is ok to be mad at them and pissed off about the messy house and all the other little and big things. You deserve to be treated with love and respect, like you said:

Now I feel so much better about myself that I think I deserve to be treated with respect not contempt and indifference.

.



Icanwithoutacan;1632257 wrote: -
76? Days I think.... Been finding myself more tempted lately? Why is that? I have been more irritable as well. Thanks for the PMs on the emotions LB!
See y'all

Glad to see you Ican and congratulations on all those AF days!!! I know I'm a total nag on this topic but it sounds like AL is worming his way in... Might be time to intensify your plan. We'd love to see you check in here each day and let us know that all is well with you. I find it very reassuring to know that there are some people who would notice my absence and track me down. It also enlarges my commitment not to fail beyond myself -- I don't want to let any of us down.


Oh, man --- something happened and the rest of my message evaporated - will try to retype later. Have a great day! xx, NS

[lifechange]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi again! I'm already back! I let myself get too hungry this evening and then I stuffed myself with junk food and falafel. I have to be careful to always have a snack with me (I usually do!) so as not to make bad decisions. I don't think straight with low blood sugar-- go figure!

Humble, I agree that your plan sounds good. I only "gambled" once here on the streets. You know, where these guys have a marble they're moving very quickly under 3 boxes, allowing the bystanders to see where it is the whole time-- then they have friends playing and winning. I fell for it and lost 50 euros in 2 seconds. My cheeks still turn red with embarrassment when I think of it. Especially the fact that I asked my dad, who was standing next to me, to give me 50 euros more 'cause I was sure I'd get it next time! I'm a sucker.. "I'm happy that I don't drink instead of frustrated that I can't." I like that. Have to make it my own!!

LB, that's a really difficult situation. I wish I had some words of wisdom, but I'm not so far along yet. I wouldn't know what to do if I were in your situation and I can't even imagine, to be honest, as I tend to be more of a "leaver" when the going gets too tough. But it sounds like you are really on your way to finding what your limits are, to finding your voice, to being able to support others but not for the sake of yourself. I do believe that you can only really help people who want to be helped-- sometimes it takes a really long time for a person to realise they want to be helped. It worries me that you were hit by someone-- I didn't really understand what happened. :l Sending you big hugs from very far away!

Ava!! I am so looking forward to your page long waffle on your 100 day birthday-- no pressure, mind you.

Hi NS!!

ok off to watch some nonsense film or series. My eyelids are slowly beginning to droop.

[lifechange]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Dear NS, I just saw that you are celebrating 400 days today!:h Congratulations and thank you so much for being here and giving me (and everyone else) so much support, so much of yourself..

[little beagle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

No Sugar congratulations. Wow. 400 days of really living life. Thanks for being so wise for us. And helping us. I promise, I am taking care of myself. :banana::banana:
I would love to see you here everyday Ican.