Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[satz123]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

narilly;1633719 wrote:

Now I have another weekend I am worried about and it is not until April. I am going out of town to a beautiful mountain town by Calgary with my best friend who I have known since I was 4 years old. She was the first person I drank with. She is a moderate drinker. Anyway, I told her I did not want to drink on that weekend and she said "of course we are going to drink! We can have a glass of wine with dinner, we have to celebrate that we are turning 50!" I said "ok". But I am obsessing about that weekend now and I don't want to do that. I also don't want to drink so I have to figure out how to deal with it. I will be coming to you gals for help

Narilly
This I can relate to ....... I constantly got that / get that - from various people. If you don't see her very often & want to avoid a 'big scene' - i'd lie :H
I've found that those who 'just have a glass' do not really care and you having water will not be an issue. It's those who know THEY have a problem who zoom in on my not drinking - and to be honest I take a warped sense of satisfaction saying 'no I don't need a drink' to them.... ( evil )
So some suggestions:

• Bring the car
• Be taking antibioticsTell the truth :egad:

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

satz123;1633726 wrote:
I've found that those who 'just have a glass' do not really care and you having water will not be an issue. It's those who know THEY have a problem who zoom in on my not drinking.

I think you are absolutely right, Satz. When something means nothing to you one way or the other, someone else's choice doesn't register as a big deal and you might not even notice what they chose.

When our choices make someone else question theirs because for whatever reason they are defensive about it is when the questions and pressure can begin.

Everyone likes to have a partner in crime .

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Way to go, J-Vo!


I'll bet you don't want your money back - sobriety is a keeper!

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi, Ladies:

Narilly - what Alan Carr says is what I truly believe. Even though saying FOREVER seems daunting, if I let a glimmer of hope in that some day I might be able to have one glass - boom, the forces are unleashed. This is exactly what I was talking to DH about this weekend. If that weekend with your friend is a special occasion, then what else is? It is hard to sleep camping, so some then would be ok. My birthday. DH, DS birthdays. End of the school year. My favorite band. Then we get to the PTA meeting, the hard day at work, the "I need to calm my anxiety," I already drank this week, I'll go AF next. At least that's my trajectory.

I agree with Satz - either she won't care, or she will, and if she does maybe that's her problem. You could easily develop some malady that requires medication, however. Or you could try a white lie - my birthday present to myself is to stay alcohol free until...

I think I was everyone's drinking buddy. So far most of my friends have responded that they are inspired by my being AF. I think it is the time of life (late 40s) when we are all assessing our health and the fact that we want to be around for a while more. I still am fun and I still have fun, so they're not losing me, just my slurry nonsense, and I don't think anyone's missing that. Also, not wanting to appear the "non fun non drinking one" has prompted me to push myself to do things I might not have normally done (such as dancing on a small dance floor!).

Rock on sisters,

xo
Pav

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

And Dearest J-Vo!

Congratulations on your 30 days - I know that in the scheme of things you have been essentially AL free for a lot longer than that (minus three days I believe). You are working this journey and it has been a pleasure to share it with you. Keep it up!

Pav

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

J-Vo, Way to go on the 30 Days! Yippee!!! I agree with Pav (and it is the same with me). We have been AL free way longer than we have ever been. Keep it up sista!

Pav, Satz, NS,
thankyou for your advice. Yes Pav, I agree, if there is even a glimmer of hope that I can drink that just opens up a whole can of worms. What is a special occasion? Do I drink when I go camping, on Thanksgiving, Christmas, Birthdays, Graduations....pretty soon we are drinking all the time Again.
That is what Allan Carr was talking about.

Just talking about it today really gives me perspective on that weekend. I was thinking I would have a glass. Now I am starting to think NOT!

xoxo

[available]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Loamers hello

Just a quick hello to say i am alive and i will reply at work, time has gotten away from me again.

My shortest post ever, appreciate that girls!

xxxx

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hello Ava Dahling! I hope you have a super awesome day at work

[treetops]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hello ladies!. This is not my usual thread but I wanted to say Gidday and it's great that you are all doing well.
Yes do Erase drinking on special occasions from the radar - what's the point of a few drinks? I bet you won't be satisfied with one glass of champagne or whatever. Maybe on the day but the niggle will stay there and I guarantee you will make up for this in due course.
waste of calories too - better to indulge in other treats.

Keep up the positive energy and I admire your support of one another

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Great to see you, TT! I always enjoy your posts (I guess it helps that I most always agree with them :H). Anyway, you have a calm, logical perspective that I really appreciate. I hope things are going well for you.

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

MAE Loamers,

It's pretty late for posting tonight, but I had some things going on earlier, and now I'm feeling a bit rushed. Well then, thanks for the 30 day wishes! NS, Nope, don't want the $ back!

Pav, good for you on going out with DH and gettin down on the dance floor! You had to feel great about that entire night. Each one of these successes is important to remember and replay in your head or writing it down in your journal.

Today was a somewhat emotional day for me. I am teaching a poetry unit, and my students were required to write a poem based on the elements they learned in class. I only did this with two of my classes, so I had about 50 poems overall. Two of them talked about a person they love, but that person loved alcohol more. It was really sad to read, but I think these poems came at the right time. I've been struggling with some Al thoughts, and this really painted a whole new perspective for me. Wow and sad at the same time.

Have a good evening girls. And hi TT! Thanks for stopping in. I'm glad everyone's doing well.

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Wow, J-Vo, that is really touching and sad. What a great reminder for all of us who put AL first. Yes, let's keep this up, NO more AL!

Have a great sleep sweets.

Hope everyone is doing well!

[little beagle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Loving al more. How sad.
J-vo congratulations on the 30 days. :wave:
To me special occasions have become about the people I share them with, not a glass of Devastation. Yes Allen Carr. Reading his book has really helped me rewire my brain.

[Dottie Belle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Crappy day, headache but AF.....tomorrow will be better.

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

LB, I'm just finishing the book now. It does have some good points for sure.

Dottie, tomorrow will be better for sure.
Funny, I have a headache too. Have had it all day and I am AF.

Goodnight girls.