Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[lifechange]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Thanks LB. The time really does just pass on regardless, doesn't it? That is important to keep in mind. I have been very good at making my "problems" seem like the center of the Universe and it's such a relief to regain the ability to put things into perspective. I would like to learn to have that always within reach. Sometimes everything seems so impossible. I tend to get down on myself for not being positive all the time-- if I'm not feeling so, I think it's all over but the crying and dying. Balance would be nice.

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi, Ladies:

Running to work and then out of town. No chance in hades I will drink, but I might not be able to check in much if at all. I'll be back on Sunday night. Pressing my purple frock for the party for Ava on Monday, although it will be Sunday for me. My party on Tuesday will be an ice cream party, but I'm bringing carrots for NoSugar. Any other dietary requests?

LC - Stay at it, lady. Read the toolbox and WRITE down a plan. Clear the decks of alcohol, head down and focus. You can do this. Read your old happy sober posts! You felt so great. Jump back aboard.

xo and Happy Weekend,
Pav

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Pavati;1635095 wrote:
I just had a sort of anxiety attack about this weekend and my trip. I haven't really been feeling anything about it, and I'm not going to drink, but I got the feeling that I wanted to. And then I told myself, of course you're not going to and you don't even want to, and then I got anxious about it. I almost felt like it was my first physical craving for al in a very long time. Mostly I don't want to have to explain everything. I have a friend who I feel could be a little judgmental and who MAYBE I can't trust with my feelings, so that makes me uneasy. I ate a lot of peanut butter, got on MWO and now am heading to bed. I really don't like this feeling of being pissy about this whole thing. Attitude of gratitude, don't fail me now. There are several of us going, so I plan to just blend in. Nar, anyone, any ideas for me??
Pav

Hope you're feeling better, Pav.

One trick that helped me in special situations is to visualize the parts you're worried about. Play them out in your head, giving yourself the leading lady (on a mission ) roll. SEE yourself calmly saying I don't drink anymore in a way that is non-judgemental but final. FEEL the feelings you will have when you know you're being true to yourself. Picture yourself telling your husband and us about your AF weekend. (If all of this isn't working - picture the opposite ).

Have a great weekend, Pav, and we'll see you for the Ava-Pav 3-day extravaganza (by the time we get all the time zones covered).

:h NS

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Pav, I can understand those frustrating feelings. It's a shame that we're more worried about how others are going to react than this not being hard for us, because in reality, it's not. We've got this, we know how to do it, now we have to work on another part of sobriety, and that is learning how to deal with social situations. Just another part to the puzzle. I like Ava's and NS's thoughts on this. Enjoy your weekend, use your calm app.

But I have the same deal coming up a few times. Next Thursday, I'm meeting with other basketball moms to make the table decorations for the basketball banquet. Of course they'll all saying we'll have wine while we make the decorations. And they will. Probably one, two tops. But I don't want any "Moms" knowing my problem as these are not true close friends, they are competitive people who want their kids to be first, best....So I would never want my name drug through the mud in our community like, __mom's an alky!" Oh, that would happen. They is so much drama at this stage with these groups of people. Sad, I know. Well, I'm going to stick to this plan...It's lent and I've given it up for lent.

Another worry about someone else who's been my friend a long time, she lost her husband, and we've always drank together. I'm working on what I"ll say to her, but I will be honest, because if she's my friend, she'll accept me for who I am...her new DD!

LB, I love 70's everything. I have peace signs all over my classroom.

LifeChange, I'm glad you're talking here. This is what we need to do everyday. Post, read, post, support each other. We're here for you. Starting over is hard, but like NS said, you've experienced that wonderful AF life and you will experience it again. You have to get over that frustration point, step out of the deprivation pit, read your gratitude list, and go get a manicure or massage! You can do this. One day at a time. Say the serenity prayer. I'm doing it right now as my 8th grade nutcases are walking through the door! Stay close.

Hi DTD! I was born in the 60's - mid!

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Great to see you back and ready to go, LC! (My work website isn't totally down like it was yesterday, giving me tons of time to bother you but it still is really S..L..O..W..... so look out :H!). I saw your plan on that other thread. (This is really good reading: https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...-13-41280.html). Sounds to me like you're covering all your bases.

There is no reason this can't be your final quit (and it should be ) but please don't think you shouldn't post here if you do need to start over. You probably especially should post here if that were to happen. This isn't the Ladies on a Completely Successful Mission thread! Our goal is to help one another be successful and stay that way but it would be so unfortunate if anyone (of any gender) felt reluctant to post because they weren't quite getting it. I think all any of the people who post here regularly want to know is that you're trying. The thing you probably won't get here is that it is ok that you drank or that it was "just a slip" or that it was inevitable and part of the normal recovery process, etc.etc. And you'll probably be asked what your plan is for the future. But you'd always be welcome :l

Have a great weekend, everyone!

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Pav,
I know the hardest time I have being AL free is when I am on a holiday. The change in routine really throws me off and everything is different. My bed, books, food etc. I don't know if I feel uncomfortable or what it is but it is a weak time for me.
I am going to a mountain town with my best friend in April and I think about this trip everyday. She wants me to drink, "just a glass, we are turning 50!" For me this is a difficult situation.
I think one thing that helps me not to drink is knowing how shitty I will feel in the morning. I don't want to have a dry mouth, AL Breath, headache and that wierd puffy eye feeling. I want to enjoy the weekend. Go shopping, go to the spa or whatever and not feel sick- why would I ever want that?

I finished Allan Carr's book and a couple of things he says might help us: 1. take it off the table, it is not an option 2. Don't think about it, if AL thoughts come to your mind, push them away 3. Be grateful that you can enjoy the moment and not get bleary eyed and slurring your words etc. You can enjoy the moment with a clear head and mind.

NS, I love your ideas too. Visualizing the situation really helps. I do that all the time.

I hope this helps. I love you sweet Pav :h

J-Vo, YES, lets meet in the middle! I will ride that far for you You are sounding great these days.

LB, the weather here is not conducive to bike riding most of the time so we just do what we can. My hubby rides when it is freakin -25 out but he is a little crazy! LB, I love your posts by the way.

Life, keep coming back. Eventually something will 'click' and you will figure this thing out. Just keep on trying.

Ava, hope you had a farking good day :l I guess it is Saturday in your part of the world now. Have a great sober Saturday!

SL xoxoxo, you really helped me at the beginning you know. I remember you talking to me about my accident and that really touched me. Glad you are here sweetie.

Holy smokes!! My posts are starting to get longer and longer!

Talk to you later ladies.

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hey J-Vo! It looks like a few of us are going to the same sort of thing. I am sure you will do fine with the basketball moms.
I think a lot of us loamers were born in the 60's!
Love ya girl!

SL, that is funny "ladies on a completely successful mission thread" Haha! Don't we wish!
Thanks for all your support. You are amazing lady!
Thanks for giving us links on other threads and things to read. I really find that helpful.

[scottish lass]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Pav - I went on a business trip to LV, with many drug reps there who love to wine and dine - I was really worried, and I wrote my return home post in my email - I looked at it each day a few times and thought about how good it was going to be to post that i had managed to do it successfully AF - it worked for me and I was able to post it on return...

[scottish lass]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi Nar - I see that I get thanks in your posts, and once I wondered whether I was having sober "drunk" posting:H - I think your comments to SL are meant for NS

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hey SL, I know I did mix you two up a few times!
LOL, I keep doing that....oops.

Just work with me

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

SL, I love your idea of writing your return post in an email and reading it over while you were there. It's these great ideas we have in our little bag of tricks that work so well. All we have to do is look in the bag and pull one out. And I'm gonna pull that one out at the end of this month. I'm going to use that and write a post in the beginning of my alone time (five days) and read it every day a few times a day. Thank you SL!

Hi Nar, love ya too!

[scottish lass]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Nar - not a problem for me at all - I would love to have NS's wisdom, I had a little smile as I ate a cadburys cream egg for breakfast - you might give NS the heebyjeeby's confusing her with me:H:H

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Crack me up, SL! :H
I don't really care who says what as long as we get the message out there that your life can be so so so much better if you just kick that beast AL out of your life and keep him out - no matter what it takes. Now, on the subject of AL's pal, SugarBear...

[scottish lass]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

I have a project that I don't want to do (for work) so keep checking in here...NS - did you see that WHO put out some new guidelines re sugar intake and that most people are having waaay too much? I was clearing out the eggs before starting a diet this weekend - I am feeling pretty good about not drinking, so felt it was time to take next step into self care - I thought about pouring them down the sink, but didn't work

[lifechange]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

It's so nice to read here! Pouring Cadbury eggs down the sink is funny!

I am happy this evening after a successful AF day. It worked most of the time to be in the moment. I didn't let my mind stray away as I was out and about shopping and running errands. I stayed patient as my girls talked incessantly-- it was a competition between the two of them today! I cooked a healthy dinner for us all. I read like crazy here! I know as much as I can about all of you! Now I just have to keep straight whose stories belong to whom. In about 15 minutes, at 9:30 pm I will go to sleep with the kids-- and I'm so looking forward to a delicious cup of coffee tomorrow morning.

See you all tomorrow...