Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[daisy45]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Thanks lifechange; I really thought I had ia grip - 26 days. Didn't go as bad as before but in the last week things going downhill again. I put so much pressure on myself to get it right, then when I miss out on part of my Af routine, everything slides. Need to rethink.......

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Daisy, so good to have you back here. I totally get it when you say when something in your AF routine is amiss, everything slides. That's human nature I think. When I miss exercising when I'm suppose to, then I don't get back on for weeks/months. I guess that tells us the importance of a routine, especially in early sobriety. And what LifeChange is saying also, staying in the moment, thinking of only today, hour by hour. I'm naturally an extremely structured person, but when I don't have my lists written, or a schedule, everything falls apart. I'm so glad you are here and ready to tackle this one moment at a time.

LifeChange, you're right about being present for your girls and tackling the issue when they go visit their dad. You don't want to lose any precious time you have worrying about stuff that's going to make you angry. But yes, you should make your plan and discuss with your BF. You shouldn't have to deal with this daily and you have every right to make demands for changes. I really hope that communicating this to BF and step son works for you. How about a weekly family meeting? Communicating the good things that happened. Or family counseling? This way someone can mediate the situation and keep everyone on track.

NS, thanks for that link. When Ava said about the penguins, I was going to ask her. Gonna look at that. and you deserve an A+ dear. Yes, glad you didn't have that hours, minutes, seconds thing or I'm sure that would have jumped out of your mouth before you had time to realize it. That is funny about talking like it was the age of an infant/toddler. LOL. But it is something that you're so proud of and should be. All the girls went out after work on Friday for drinks. Usually they bug me about going, but not one person asked me to go. I think they're catching on that I'm not drinking, or the word has slowly gotten out. And you know what, that's fine with me. I know my real friends will still be my real friends with or without alcohol.

Ava, you did go through a lot to get to your freedom. Maybe that's what your dream meant. And according my my clock, it's 12:48 a.m. for you in Aus. so it's 100 days for you! I should call and wake you up, but I can't. All I can do is shout and you should hear me. Happy 100 days dear Ava! We're so proud of you!!!!!!!!! We love you and you're such an incredible woman. And I love the idea of knitting for the penguins. How unselfish you are. xxxooo

Hi SL, great on the 5 miles! That's a great workout. Was the dog walking you by the end? You do sound so good and strong. And I'm starting my diet tomorrow and the exercise. Getting back in my routine and off my lazy ass. I'm with you on this. I wanna feel good for summer and look decent when we go away. Let's check in with each other on this. I need a support buddy for this. And on the AF front, remember that we will not always feel strong about that, and that's ok. That's normal. That's why we come here. When we're feeling a bit weak. Remember the tools when you're feeling that way. Remember if you ever wanna drink to "play the tape forward." That's one method I will use if I ever go to the pity party.

MossRose, so glad you're doing well. I love puppies! Oh, I bet you're tired today. Those grandpups can take all of your energy up. My parents love my dog and play with him so much when they come. They are a part of the family. And yes, they are like infants. I put my Leo out this morning and he started barking at something. To early to bark, on a Sunday morning, so I'm screaming out the door, "Leo! Stop it! You know everyone is still sleeping! It's Sunday morning!" Like he knew every word I said...I probably woke everyone up in the neighborhood.

Giraffe, so glad you're doing well, And you're so right on about the stepchildren. I never had to deal with that, but it has to be harder than what the Brady Bunch dealt with.

Today, I'm going to see our high school musical which is the production of "Shrek." Meeting a girlfriend that teaches at the high school and some of my former students, then we're going to dinner afterwards. So I'll check in tonight. Have a great Sunday!

[available]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

I am here and damn i have done a mighty long spiel that i am going to post and i am sure it will go for a page and a bit, been writing it for hours and dont say i didnt warn you. Even went on to 100 day thread and said "i was here finally".

love you guys and Jvo it is 12.03

[available]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Well Day 100 has finally arrived, I have achieved something that I never thought was achievable, to be sober. I didn’t think I could manage 7 days at the start, the hardest 7 days of my life, well it felt like it at the time.
When I first found MWO in 2011, drunk of course and thinking I could not live like I was anymore, I joined and remembered my password the next day. Off I went, right I can do this, not too hard, I was keen to say the least. Well I got to 11 days and thought well I’ve done it now and so I can moderate. Great decision, best I have thought of, highly achievable to moderate, spent my time on mwo, didn’t need it anymore, they said an alcoholic could not moderate, what do they know? I wasn’t an alcoholic or whatever you want to call yourself, I just loved a drink or 20. Well as we all know by the words of wisdom off people who have given up long term, they were amazingly right in what they said but I started really well, couple of drinks every couple of days, then a bottle, then a bottle and a half, then two bottles daily. Back to where I was in a short space of time but I figured I really wasn’t that bad, I could give up anytime I wanted to, I just didn’t want to, I loved al, I wasn’t lonely with al, I was sociable with al, I deserved al, I needed a drink at the end of the day, I worked and functioned.
Fast forward to 2013, blackouts were occurring more frequently, losing my memory not long after I had had a few drinks of what I had done, talked to. Gums bleeding, sores not healing for weeks, the shakes, nausea, diarrhoea, not eating just drinking daily, waking up during the night dehydrated, eating paracetamol like it was going out of fashion, swearing I would not drink again but by 3pm thinking I deserved it, hard day at work etc etc. I was still fine, really I was, it was the preservatives in the wine making my gums bleed, the washing powder giving me skin irritations, anxiety making me shake so much I could not write. Every excuse I could think of was the root of my problems, not the wine, never my best friend.
The start of my final journey to being af came at my nieces 21st birthday party. I have only one niece so I was going to be an aunty who behaved. Oh I behaved alright, I crucified the DJ to play Avicci’s song “wake me up when its all over”, took 4 glasses of wine each time I went to the bar (not that I can remember going to the bar), annoying the crap out of my nieces grandparents and generally being a dickhead until I passed out on the lounge and fell to the floor blacked out. Not an obviously proud moment in my life.
Then I realised that I was in serious trouble but what was I going to do about this problem. Mmm well I could moderate, mmm, didn’t really work before but I gave it another shot and failed. Back to MWO I came, I gave up drinking but I was having an occasional glass and not being honest on here or to myself but I certainly was not drinking as much so that was good and I was pretty well accountable for my drinking, just a few white lies here and there but slowly I went back to drinking more and more but I still posted that I was trying to moderate as my daughter was getting married and my mother was visiting. A month and a half later I was a wreck, fought with my mother, 97% her fault but I had honestly had enough. Mum left on the 26th November 2013 and after I drank for four days in relief I stopped drinking on the 1st December 2013.
I was done, completely and utterly done, I had nothing but despair, shame, guilt, remorse, regret. This was it, I had to stop and I did. Did I have a plan, not really, my plan was to not drink till my 50th in April and then I would have a few on my birthday. I was not sure how I would do this but coming back to MWO was a start and posting and being totally and utterly honest with myself, admitting that I was an alcoholic and asking people on MWO that have become my friends for support. Each day I would say to myself “I will not drink”, 1000 times if necessary, I was on MWO 24/7. I changed my routine to sleep when I was tired, to eat what I wanted, to be very very kind to myself and let my body start to heal. It was hard, so very hard but drinking was harder. I didn’t have to plan my day not drinking, the only plan was not to drink. When I drank I was planning all day about where to get al, what time to start, thinking of excuses of why I could drink, how much money did I have, which bill would I not pay so I could buy wine. I told my children I was not drinking, to not let me drink and I was an alcoholic, I needed their help and they knew it also.
Fast forward to 10th March 2014 and I am grateful everyday for not drinking and for my children’s support and for MWO. What have I learned; to appreciate each day being sober, that some days are better than others, that all I have to do is ask if I need help and it will be given, to avoid situations that I don’t think I can handle and to deal with life without al. I don’t want to drink again, I am an alcoholic and I accept that, I cant have a couple of drinks for my 50th but I will have family and friends to celebrate with, I do not need something that very nearly destroyed that. I have my life back but I am still in early recovery and I will stick to my plan daily of not drinking. I am extremely grateful for MWO and for the friends I have made and the understanding off everyone that I am not alone, that there are other people just like me who battle al daily and accept me for what I am.
My loamers are my life support and you girls rock big time.
Jvo for your quirkyness and openness to me and unconditional friendship from across the globe
NS for being a guiding, logical friend who goes above and beyond
Pav for staying right behind me and knowing what I am going through
LB for you strength and determination
Dot and LC for starting this journey with you both and finally proving that I can get there.
Nar for showing that people can live in really damn cold conditions and survive to post
Humble for your total honesty in the pain you have gone through to show that anyone can get to the other side.
Dream for your wit and humour and dedication to helping
Moss for your ups and downs and still being so positive
SL for always popping in quickly to keep accountable and giving goss.
Daisy, Giraffe, Rox, Aca, for popping in and saying hello and letting us into your lives
Now lets farking partay!

[roxane]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

100


:yay::yay::yay:

now going to read your post
xxx

eta; how disappointing, thought it would be bigger!

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Sneaking a post here on my teeny phone screen to say HAPPY 100 to my dearest Ava. I will post properly when I get home, but way to go! I'm so proud of the way you've tacked this beast and taken us all along for the ride!

Xo
Pav (day 99!)

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

I mean day 98 for me!

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

available;1635940 wrote: Well Day 100 has finally arrived... Now lets farking partay!

You said you wanted a purple and red themed party, Ava. Looks like everyone is cooperating because here they come!




Congratulations on 100 days!

[giraffe1234]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Thanx j-vo!
Available, awesome 100 days!!!!! :wd::wd::wd:

[giraffe1234]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Ava, also I loved your honest post. Heartbreaking. Painful.
I am so glad you have reached 100 days and I am honoured to know you.
xxx

[scottish lass]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Yeah to AVA! So proud of you and it is so great to have success stories in front of us to follow along!
NS - love the red hat ladies - they are a group over here.
LC - you are in AZ? I would love to ride too, but can't afford all three of us - I started one girl when she was diagnosed with ADHD as I read that it can help she has to concentrate to ensure that 1000lb beast does what is needed...then the other one followed suit - I just use it as an escape to get out for a while - the stables is in the middle of an walnut ranch, so good day out.
J-vo - I am with you - my plan is about 17lbs, hoping not to check scales for a week so I can see a difference - I cannot believe I don't lose weight with not drinking. I am looking into a summer holiday - and girls are looking for beach - I am past bikini stage, but to sit on a beach in anything with two beautiful teenagers I have to do something - LETS DO THIS~~
Hi Daisy - well done coming back - lets just keep coming back until it sticks??
LC - see you are wavering a wee bit - I think I will be around a bit today - keep checking in - if you need more, PM me and we can find a way to chat??? (if I am misinterpreting please forgive me)

[lifechange]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

AVA!!! Congratulations on 100 days! You farkin' rock, girl! Do you like the picture NS took of all of us? Afraid I wasn't looking my best, but at least I smiled! I loved reading your post. You are such an open, honest, empathetic, loving woman and I am happy to know you.
SL, thank you! I had a breakdown on the phone talking to my mom and I feel much better. I grew up partially in AZ but I live in Germany now. I visited over Christmas and did some riding so I have the memories fresh in my mind. I would love to lose a few with you and j-vo.! More I would like to clean up my diet and strengthen my muscles. I could also happily lose about 5kg. I think I will also start tomorrow. I have been going crazy these last 4 days, keeping myself very full and eating some sugar-- which I know doesn't do me any good!
Hi Giraffe!!! and Roxane! and Pav! and NS! and everyone else stopping in today..:l
I am about to put the girls to bed and I have a sneaky feeling I might be fading off with that sweet little one again! If I don't see you all again tonight, I will for sure in the early am. xo

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

daisy45;1635856 wrote: Hey ladies, sneaking back in after going AWOL! Tryingto gather up enough determination to go again and make it last.............daisy45;1635895 wrote: Thanks lifechange; I really thought I had ia grip - 26 days. Didn't go as bad as before but in the last week things going downhill again. I put so much pressure on myself to get it right, then when I miss out on part of my Af routine, everything slides. Need to rethink.......

Welcome back, Daisy. We were worried when you disappeared suddenly. It's great that you're wanting to give this another go before getting too entrenched in that stupid pattern of drinking.

26 days was a really good AF run but I think it takes much longer than that before you can relax into this new lifestyle. I sure hope you can get back to doing what you were doing for those 26 days. But maybe it shouldn't be too rigid - you don't want a deviation here or there to make it harder to keep the whole program going.

What happened on day 26 that made having a drink seem like an ok choice? Maybe you could get some feedback that will help you alter your plan a bit.

Anyway, I hope we see you here each day, sounding as good as you did awhile ago. You seemed really happy and positive .

Take care, NS

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

roxane;1635942 wrote:
100
:yay::yay::yay:
now going to read your post

We'd love to see more of you around here, too, Roxy! Maybe you and Daisy could get back in gear together :l.
I'm always kind of jealous of people who have a quit buddy, like Pav and Ava. You guys could be the next duo to share milestones and throw parties!

:h NS

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

I'm BAAAAAACK!

My trip went fine. Ended up telling my friends that I "probably" quit for good, but my other friend who is ahead of me admitted she quit because she had a problem, so our friend said, "what about you, Pavati, did you think you had a problem?" Um... Yes... shouldn't really come as a surprise, especially for the one who was with me when I got a little pie eyed ("a little - hah") on the day after Thanksgiving, two days before I quit. All in all it was a great weekend, lots of hysterical laughter, a nice long walk and TOO MUCH food! It is so nice to have such great friends, and it is nice to be more and more public about quitting drinking. Missed you ladies!

NS - LOVE the pic you snapped of us - purple and red -the hats, perfect. 13 months cracked me up. I am very careful and say "since around Thanksgiving" or something like that. I almost said "97 days!" but I stopped myself.

Daisy - glad you're back and ready to jump right back on board. I have heard others say "I don't have another quit in me." Although never before this time have I told myself that I'll quit forever, I have made a lot of rules (ok, no drinking during the week, before 5, spirits, whatever), and I know that once the rule was broken it was a lot harder to get back on track. Same is true for me for eating sugar. I don't even really crave it and I have been on a ROLL the last two weeks. So getting back on board and staying with us will be a big challenge!.

SL - I read, too, that you borrowed a ranch. A five mile walk with a dog in the sunshine sounds about perfect to me. Glad you stopped by.

J-Vo - My boys are getting big, too. My friend gave me the advice that through their teen age years the best conversations happen when you can't look each other in the eye - driving, watching a game, whatever. My boys still love a snuggle, and my 15 YO just hugged and kissed me goodbye in front of his friends at a birthday party! I work with teen agers and I know this will end for a while soon, but I'm loving it while it still happens.

LC - FFS, whip the kid into line at your house. Doesn't it put a strain on your relationship with your BF? Are you a Californian, too? I read SL's response and was wondering. You sound good otherwise, I'm glad you're settling in. Falling asleep with your daughter sounds lovely - I am a very light sleeper and could never really do that. Even when my babies were babies. I snuggled plenty, but had to drag them to their own beds after so I could sleep.

Hi, Giraffe!

Roxy, Come back!

Where are Narilly and Humble? Come out, come out, wherever you are! If anything went wrong, Ava can't come kick your ass just now because she is busy with her party, so now is a good time to hop back on. If alcohol isn't the problem, make sure it doesn't become one by posting here and checking in!

Miss Ava - you are still on day 99 here, so I will time travel 8 hours to midnight and throw you a kiss. I am so darn proud of you, and look forward to joining you in the century club in two days - hod the door open! You are such a GIGANTIC presence here on MWO, and you have thrown your energy into helping all of us, making us laugh, and keeping us honest. You have guided and chided in such a loving way, and I am sure there are plenty of nesters who would say you got them through a day. Amazing stuff - onward and upward. Next big celebration? 120? 150? 365? 1,000? Let me know, and I'll be there, too.

Have wonderful Sunday evenings or Monday mornings, ladies.

xo
Pav