Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[lifechange]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

LB, that is so interesting with the voodoo dolls-- I had no idea! Brilliant! I wonder if they were doing any sort of accupuncture with needles or pressure points at that time?
I am a little bit sad about what you said about people being stuck at the mental age in which they began drinking. But in all honesty, it could very well be true for me with regards to emotional maturity. It's also true that at that age I went down hill in school -- I got decent grades because the par was so low, but I'm sure I didn't learn anything. I was about 10 when my Mom disappeared into a drunk haze and I can remember very well, after trying for a couple of years to convince her not to drink and it not having any effect, adopting a real big fuck you attitude. Man, was I trouble(ed).

I do not want to follow in her footsteps and I won't.
I will try my hardest to stay as present in the moment, in the NOW, as I can. And when I begin to wander into the past or the future, or when I find myself obsessing about things in my daily life, I will gently pull myself back to right this second. I have time for deep thought when I am feeling stronger, more confident.. right?

[ToMyHealth]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hello ~ I am a Modder who is ready to do some AF time. I am a retired 65 yo woman, fairly active & live in a gated community where nearly everyday is a party day. I regularly work out doing either run/walks or hill intervals on treadmill, use an Elliptical trainer, bike some & golf 3-4X/week.

I lurk here and in the Newbies Nest everyday and know deep down I want to be one of you. I do not have a goal, i.e. 30 days, etc. just want to live up to my user name and get healthier.

TMH
Day 1

[ToMyHealth]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hello ~ I am a Modder who is ready to do some AF time. I am a retired 65 yo woman, fairly active & live in a gated community where nearly everyday is a party day. I regularly work out doing either run/walks or hill intervals on treadmill, use an Elliptical trainer, bike some & golf 3-4X/week.

I lurk here and in the Newbies Nest everyday and know deep down I want to be one of you. I do not have a goal, i.e. 30 days, etc. just want to live up to my user name and get healthier.

TMH
Day 1

[lifechange]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

hi TMH!:welcome:
Good to have you here! I am 13 days new to the Loamers thread and am so happy to be a part of this group of wonderful Ladies. If you've been lurking you know it's a wonderful support for the struggles and joys of this AF life. It has been such a relief for me to finally give up "dreams" of moderately drinking-- but in many ways I have to relearn how to live. Step by step. I am excited! and I have hope! and taking each day as it's own, as it comes seems to be working..so far so good..!

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi, TMH and welcome

Giving AF living a try sounds like a good idea. If you don't like it, you can always change your mind. ( I say that only because I cannot imagine anyone who formerly was controlled by a liquid poison not LOVING the freedom that a chunk of time AF brings and wanting never to go back).

I had never thought about alcohol being a problem in a gated community but I guess it is a reasonably financially secure population with a great deal of free time. What possibly could go wrong ?

Like you, I enjoy exercise and eating well. It seems to me that positive habits feed into one another. The better you're treating yourself, the more eager you are to feel even better still.

So glad you joined in! NS

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi, LC - I know psyllium husk is in several commercial products but I've not had any experience with it. The resistant starch (essentially a prebiotic -food for your gut bugs) plus a daily Kombucha (probiotic) keep things heading in the right direction for me.

I'm impressed by all your biking! Do you and the girls each ride to the school and then you head off from there? In all kinds of weather? I wish more cities were safer for cyclists here so we could be more bike-based. Some cities are getting better but still fall short of much of Europe.

Ava, I hope you are having a good sleep right now after the day you had :l. After an extremely frustrating afternoon last week, I was at the grocery store and while I did not think about actually buying any wine, thought about how that is exactly what I would have done in the past and I was sorry that I no longer have such an easy out available. We've got a bunch of good tools (breathing, exercise, yoga, food, posting, etc.) but for me, none of them are as quick or effective. Although it is tougher, I'm really glad to no longer be taking the easy way out. And once one of the slower but ultimately effective tools does its job, I'm soooooo glad to have used it.

Way to go, Daisy! I saw your exchange in the Nest - that is exactly how a person should use MWO. If this is our main tool, we've got to really engage. You should be so proud of yourself.

SL, you are sounding like a different woman in some subtle ways - like something has shifted toward seeing being AF as an improvement, not deprivation. Keep noticing the good things and if your experience is at all like mine, you'll one day just know that you never want to drink again -- it is such a relief.

LB, massages are one of my favorite things in the world but I must admit, sometimes I prefer to just pay for them so I don't have to reciprocate and I don't always even want them to lead to anything else... . I'll take them wherever and whenever I can get them, though - shameless hedonist here, I'm afraid.

J-vo, I know you have a lot going on and have no thoughts of drinking but please stay really alert during this trying time and pull out your tools right away if you need them.

Pav, We used the law as a framework for our kids. Since underage drinking is illegal (so sorry about the low bar for that in Germany, LC!), it was not an option.

Good to see you Roxy, Nar, Giraffe and I hope I haven't missed anyone who stopped by. Hope you're all doing well. xx, NS

[ToMyHealth]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Thanks for the welcome! So LC, you are on Day 13 AF? That seems to be a magic day according to Byrdie.
NS - have a very active social life. But that was true of us prior to retirement also. This a.m. I got up relieved to think we don't have anything on calendar until Sat night (dinner out). That has changed. Invited to go out to dinner tonight and to a Twins Baseball Spring Training game. Better go see if my Twins t-shirt is clean!
Again, thanks for the welcome!

TMH

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi, Jane. You are CLEARLY ON A MISSION! Good to see you here and congrats on those 70+ days.
How is your dog doing? There are many animal lovers on this thread who can completely relate to the pain of perhaps having to let a friend go. :l

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

MAE Ladies,

So a mix of work and family stressors - but you girls are right. My recovery and sobriety needs to come first, and I felt these things getting in the way of what was priority. I need to keep myself calmer and quit raising the bar on everything. I NEED TO: get to church, exercise, meditate (or learn how to stop this chatter in my head) learn yoga, get this done and that...The list never stops of what I think I need to be doing. So, right now, I'm going to do what I want to do and let the rest go. I pray in the mornings, so if I make it to church on Sun, that's a plus. I'm eating half decently, so if I exercise, that'll be a plus. I need to take the pressure off myself right now and just be ok with where I am now. LC, you said it, be in the present moment - I need to work on that!

Work is busy now, with state testing for the next two weeks in math and reading, then I'm getting observed next week, grades will be due shortly after that. Just seems like everything happens at once.

Ava, yep, it is the early days, and I don't want to lose that. Need to stay focused on this! Sorry about your new laptop not happening. But you're handling things so well and being aware of how you would not have handled things if you'd been drinking. Being aware of these small accomplishments, the positives of not drinking is what we need to do. Not look for major shifts in what is different. The small things add up.
Ava, did you say "dictaphone?" I haven't heard that word since I used one about 30 years ago!!!!!!

SL, thanks for the hugs. Like NS said, you do sound so positive and have a shift in your outlook. I can feel your positive vibes all the way over on the east coast! I think that's good to talk about the drinking thing. Unlike your girls, my son has seen me plastered and I put him through a period of great anxiety. He knows I'm not drinking, and knows I go online to discuss this. He doesn't know how much you girls mean to me, but he knows I'm a better mom. I hated the sneaking around him. I worry that I'll pass on the off switch to him. I hope he doesn't get that. Makes me sick just thinking about it.

Daisy, I still am staying away from bars, the casino, and places that will make me feel uneasy. DH knows I won't go to certain places and he's ok with that. But it's funny, because I've been in situations where there's alcohol, just not a situation that I link to my heavy drinking. So it's not the actual drinking that people do around me, it's the association of places that I used to drink. I think!

Nar, thanks for your thoughts! You're sounding great. And if you have constipation after all of the high fiber you put into your drinks or cereals, I'd be surprised!

LB, thanks for checking on me. I really appreciate it. And the back massage sounds lovely, except I'm with NS - the reciprocating is what holds me back. I know, selfish! DH loves massages, so I think we should try and do that for each other.

Pav, Yes, non-murderous ways of getting through some of these tough things is what I'm shooting for. I don't think I handled my stress too well, as I got worked up and cried, went down to my principal, dropped the f-bomb a few times about a co-worker, dealing with extended family issues, dropping f-bomb to whoever will listen. But I didn't drink. I just need to do more of that breathing and use the calm app. Funny, we know what to do, have the tools, yet, I'm not using them or could be handling things better if my mind stopped racing and quieted myself down somehow.

Welcome TMH! My parents live in a gated community in Florida as well and it's a big beautiful playground for retired folks. They have absolutely everything there and love it. Here's to 30 days for you!

Roxy, Giraffe, Jane, Dot, and all you lovelies, have a great day.

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Really good to hear you sounding like the almost 50 days AF J-vo we know and love!

I wish you could see a tape of what a sloth I was for about 4 months after stopping drinking. Alcohol may make us selfish but getting off of it made me about as self-absorbed as a person can be. (Actually, I'm really really glad that tape does not exist :H).

Everyone here is doing something that is not easy. We have the societal pressures and all that to deal with but that is nothing compared to trying to change our biochemistry and overcome the drives for rewards that during evolution, kept us alive. The same part of your brain that is involved in addiction is the part that makes you want to have sex and procreate. It makes you like sweet things b/c in nature, things that are sweet aren't poisonous. That primitive brain truly is on our side - wanting us and the entire species to survive - until it gets hijacked by an addictive substance.

So I hope you do let yourself off the hook, J. You can save the world next year .

[ToMyHealth]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Thanks, Jane and J-vo. Then J-vo you are aware how it is. Club parties, home parties or someone inviting you out to dinner or over to lanai for a drink. Jane, i have been on MWO for almost 3 yrs, post on long term moderators. It's time for a break....maybe for forever.

Tuned out my dh said no to tonite's activity. I am glad. Wasn't fearful of drinking, just feel worn out from going so much, want to get in normal home routine.

Going for a walk now (witching hour), dinner is planned and I will have Diet Tonic w/lime.

Have a great evening everyone!

TMH

[ToMyHealth]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Thanks, Jane and J-vo. Then J-vo you are aware how it is. Club parties, home parties or someone inviting you out to dinner or over to lanai for a drink. Jane, i have been on MWO for almost 3 yrs, post on long term moderators. It's time for a break....maybe for forever.

Tuned out my dh said no to tonite's activity. I am glad. Wasn't fearful of drinking, just feel worn out from going so much, want to get in normal home routine.

Going for a walk now (witching hour), dinner is planned and I will have Diet Tonic w/lime.

Have a great evening everyone!

TMH

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Thanks NS. If you were a sloth for 4 months, then it must be ok for me to be one!! I'm off the hook! Relief!!!!

TMH, I'm well aware of all the activities. I visit parents every year. This year it was end of Jan. It's always lovely there and yes, invites all the time. Parents are golfers (although Dad had an injury this past year so he couldn't golf) and they have made so many nice friends. When I visit, I don't even want to leave the community. I did manage to go with Dad to fitness center while I was there. Have you ever played pickle ball? Cross between ping-pong ball and tennis. Oh, so many fun things to do. Mom likes the afternoon card games. She was the set manager last year for the annual play. They do love to get involved and I'm happy they can enjoy their retirement. And I'm happy I can visit them in the winter!

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Thanks NS. If you were a sloth for 4 months, then it must be ok for me to be one!! I'm off the hook! Relief!!!!

TMH, I'm well aware of all the activities. I visit parents every year. This year it was end of Jan. It's always lovely there and yes, invites all the time. Parents are golfers (although Dad had an injury this past year so he couldn't golf) and they have made so many nice friends. When I visit, I don't even want to leave the community. I did manage to go with Dad to fitness center while I was there. Have you ever played pickle ball? Cross between ping-pong ball and tennis. Oh, so many fun things to do. Mom likes the afternoon card games. She was the set manager last year for the annual play. They do love to get involved and I'm happy they can enjoy their retirement. And I'm happy I can visit them in the winter!

[Dottie Belle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Long day..shopping for new over as our current one wont bake anything correctly anymore. bleh
It is 15 years old so no real point in getting it fixed. I am so confused on what to get so we just looked today. Any ideas???
Also got to Costco and to fill up on gas which is yet another story of high prices.
Had some urges out of the blue today but didnt act on them. I dont want to un do all my hard work at the gym. And we are back to the gym tomorrow...that is not good with a hangover..been there done that ....not to be repeated!!