Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[roxane]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

im reading an autobiography by clarissa dickson wright (shes well known over here and has coincidentally just died aged 66), she went through alcoholism and finally rehab. she mentioned about how she refused to release/show any emotion but finally broke down.

she explained how it was like a defrosting chicken. as it defrosted, emotions were released. slowly. if they all came out at once, they would be unmanageable. it would take a while for the chicken to defrost for various reasons; how deep they are, how many, our ability to cope etc.

this makes sense to me and explains why it can take sometimes years for some people to finally feel levelled.

thinking after 3 months, 6 months, a year even that we could stiill have emotional repercussions is a hard fact to deal with but knowing that it is more gentle than sudden avalanche helps to know.

[Sarah42]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

jane27;1641315 wrote: Thanks Narilly and Ava, I appreciate your support and comments. I spent almost 20 years in psychotherapy. In the beginning, I went 3 times per week. Without question it has saved my bacon. Over all that time I was able to build a make shift framework of how I exist in the world. I think it was primarily by having the opportunity to work through ordinary stuff with the therapist filling in for the role of mother. I'm grateful that I was able to scrape the money together to pay for it -(don't know how I would have gotten by otherwise), but it's very bittersweet that I had to spend more than 250,000 to role play my way into developing a more fully formed psyche. It really sucks. I'm deeply grateful for all the good things in my life. My conflict lies in the fact that I don't feel solid, but rather more like a piece of Swiss cheese. I don't have the desire or the energy to invest the kind of time and money it would require. That was a one shot deal.

You guys are providing me with exactly what I need -unconditional support, compassion and a mirror in which to see myself. Every one of us is strong and a fighter. I gain knowledge constantly by reading about your experiences, and it's a rich and bountiful resource. Writing all of this, and your comments have made me realize I've got more than I thought I did. I guess that a goal of mine is to find a way to feel ok with the perceived voids. I sense that making that happen is tied up with trust and faith, and basically letting go. I know I'm going to try.

Love to all. Cheerful Jane just texted me to say she's on her way back from lunch. Thank Gawd. Lol

TY for this Jane. I just posted in NN about a difficulty with my mother and found this thread/post. I was right what I said to you that somehow we were 'kindred spirits'. I thought of seeing psychotherapists or otherwise myself (I did when I was younger) and they just confirmed what I already knew. (get away from your parents) Not sure I want to spare the expense of doing so again...

I have too many things in m life that I want to do that involve a loving hubby, son, who bring me comfort. so why I need approval/kudos from my Mom at MY AGE in my life...is beyond me. I think in order for me to move past AL, I need to move past that part of my life.

TY again Jane for this post...it has me thinking heavily.

[little beagle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hello this am. I have to read back. Just a quick check in.

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Congratulations on 3 weeks, LC! I hope this week is less of a struggle than the last one.

L-glutamine is an amino acid that can be used for fuel by the brain. When a person "craves" sugar or alcohol it is at one level b/c their brain needs energy. So, L-glutamine can substitute. I used it a couple years ago when I got off sugar and it was quite effective. It was less effective for alcohol for me but I can't say that those cravings were a big problem for me as long as I also really limited my sugar and sugary carb intakes (and did not let myself get hungry/low blood sugar).

[lifechange]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hello Loamers!!
After 2 very long days at work, I am beat! It was really nice reading through all the thoughtful posts from yesterday and last night. I have you all in my thoughts and in my heart. But I can't think to write.:h I'm just posting quotes today.. here is one that came from Hazelden as thought for the day and I'm embracing it. I wish I could have it tatooed on my brain. I swear, I read something great, want to make it part of my life and then the next day it's forgotten! Damn!

""Fall in love with life

I was sitting in the chair at the beauty shop getting my hair cut one day and listening to my beautician chatter away. She showed me a picture of one of her friends, a woman who had gotten married and recently had a baby girl.

"She's been so in love since that child was born," she said, showing me a picture of the new mother's smiling face.

"In love with her husband?" I asked.

"No," she said. "Well, that, too. I mean in love with life."

Have you ever been in love, had your heart beat fast when you anticipated the call of your lover, felt the way the sun felt warmer on your face, the sky appeared bluer, the clouds more fluffy, and the sunset more grand?

What if you could fall in love with your life and feel that way each day? I'm not saying romantic relationships are bad. They're not. They're part of being human and getting our needs met. But what if we could take all that passion and focus it into falling in love with life?

Maybe that is what is meant by universal love. Maybe that's the part we give back.

Fall in love with your life today.""

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Me too, will be updating later.
xo

[lifechange]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Looks all too familiar, Jane!!
I know that last time I quit, after a couple of months I began to SLOWLY get things in order. I think it's a matter of baby steps. Maybe you could just clear off the chair today!! and I'll clear off the top of my dresser. I have a list of people I need to call tomorrow to make appts. I also look forward to hearing from those with a bit more time under their belts... LB, NS?? Dot, Pav, Ava?? How are you ladies doing with these things? Where to start?

[DreamThinkDo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Jane somehow made it into my house! I work on the baby steps principle here - teeny teeny teeny baby steps, but things are looking much better. I found it useful to take before and after pics - the before pics are generally cringeworthy, but the after ones are a good incentive to keep things that way. Of course, it doesn't happen, but I keep trying and hoping...

Jane, as you said, it's about getting systems in place (the really easy part) - and then keeping them in place (the very difficult part).

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Shove it into drawers :H!

Seriously, break it down into chunks and completely finish one thing before moving on to the next. Have separate piles:

Throw away
Recycle
Donate
Move to a different room

Don't take anything to the "other room" until you're done with that chunk, though, or if you're like me, you'll get distracted by something worse you find in that room...

About 3 years ago, I did the WHOLE HOUSE, including the basement! It started as a small New Year's afternoon project and then continued on for the whole month of January. I took pictures to show off when I was done!

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

I agree with NS, one room at a time and don't move on until you have finished that room. Like DTD and Life say, teeny steps...they add up for sure.

Jane, I wish I could help you with your dog situation. I am not sure about kidney stones. You are sounding better today

Life- YES be in love with Life! Good one.

Back to work!

[available]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Jane did you sneak into my house and take those pics? I set myself 3 things to do a day on weekends (Mon-Fri im too tired after work) and they can be small things or large. When i first stopped drinking i cleaned the whole kitcfhen and loungeroom and moved everything, washed walls and verticals but damn it looked good. Pics taken also. Now i dont push myself as much but i am cleaning out the garage and i make sure i do one box a weekend. It seems everytime though i do start a clean, i always think a "wine would be nice doing this". I never bloody cleaned and drank as the drinking would take over. Go figure.

NS 3 years ago you were drinking, how the heck did you manage that?

LC what a lovely quote, it made me remember the love i felt when my children were born and i am starting to like life so much more than i did. I will learn to love it i am sure.

Bit of rain here this morning, it is so dry here but i am not a fan of driving in the rain especially with the drivers that get a drop of rain on them and turn into dr jekyll. need eyes in the back of my head, must dig them out before i go to work.

take care all xxxx

[available]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

LC 3 weeks woo hoo, great work and proud of you girl. You are sounding so positive this time around.

NS can you just get Lglut from the chemist? I think i definitely need it to stop my sugar cravings for sure. im over eating sugar.

[roxane]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

I tried lglut and it didn't agree with me unfortunately.

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Ava,
you can buy the LGlutamine from any health store. Here in Canada anyway. I have used it before when I first tried MWO and was 'moderating' haha! We all know how that worked out.

You are too funny about all the clutter! I am kind of anal about that and throw out stuff all the time. Probably throw out too much really.
When I found out my hubby was having an affair, I threw out his snowboard, old chess board that he loved, a suitcase he was going to use to go to meet his girlfriend, among other treasures of his. Hey, it was cluttering up the house!
Then I proceeded to pick the stitches out of some of his new fancy underwear and workout shorts. He kept wondering why all his stuff kept falling apart!
Now that we are back together I actually have stiched up some of the stuff that I had unpicked before. I guess thats what I get for doing that!

Hey, but he deserved it. He is lucky I didn't do worse because I thought of way, way worse things to do to him! He was a Big Farquad then but now he is good. It was a mid life crisis I am sure because he was totally out of his mind. He doesn't remember half the stuff that happened now.

Anyway, that is my clutter story....

Back to work!

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Jane, Rox- 2 cross posts!