Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[ToMyHealth]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Enjoying a cup of Sleepytime tea. It is so odd how we (dh and I) are sometimes on the same page without saying a word. Usually one of us asks the other how about a drink, or can I get you something? I had made up my mind to not drink tonight even if he did. No one said anything and no drinks were had. Oh, dh had a beer with dinner. I was also thinking today about getting back in habit of going to church. So tonite I give him option of homemade turkey soup or going out, my treat. He chose the soup, and said let's go out tomorrow night, maybe go to church first. It's just weird how that happens fairly frequently.

NS - yes, cheese is a better analogy. Really a good way of putting it. Giving up alcohol is a big deal. Happy to be sober tonight.

TMH

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi, all:

Ava - we must be in synch! For the first time in a long time tonight I had that bastard AL talking to ME, too. I was NOT hungry, but was very tired, and after two LONG weeks at work with a busy weekend in between I felt a sudden deflation - like I had been running on fumes and all of a sudden they were gone. DH had a beer to bbq and I caught a smell of it and jeez o man did I want a sip. Well, I really wanted the whole thing. And its brothers and sisters in the fridge. Went right into deprivation mode - pissy, irritated, mad, sad - you name it. It took longer than it has in a long time (still only about 45 minutes) to get over, and of course I have to write about it here. Wouldn't you know, you wrote about al talking to you and NS had great advice...

So even though I don't want to drink any more, I'll go right into my attitude of gratitude - I am so thankful that I was not three drinks in when my son came home from his high school activity; thankful that I will sleep well tonight because boy, do I need it; thankful that I get to celebrate four months on Wednesday (120 days on Monday).

I read all of your posts but really just have to go to bed now. Thanks for being there for me!

xo
Pav

[available]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Lol Pav you made me laugh. A sip, yeah if thats going to help but the brothers and sisters would be a treat. We do seem to go through the same stages at the same time and thats a help to me no end. Go to sleep lovely Pav and know we have both made it through another day. 4 months from the massacre!

[little beagle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

NS what a lovely poem. Hot, wet socks and then to bed? :H that sounds so funny. Don't know why.
Ava you do deserve a lovely vacation with no regrets. Giraffe good to see you.
TMH one thing is certain, you will never regret NOT drinking. And I honestly feel any # of af days is a good number. Stick close here and those numbers will add up.
J-vo the Holocaust is a really emotional subject to me. I have struggled to understand but still can't. The roller coasters sound cool.
Pav have a good sleep.
We went out on a date night. Fun.

[ToMyHealth]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

No sleep. That is my only gripe. Feel good otherwise. Getting ready to go play golf - light rain. Hope it stops, and it 's a go because it feels bloody fantastic to not have GSR or that dull headache. Yay!

Have a nice Saturday!

TMH

[little beagle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

TMH yeah no GSR bros. Feels good.
I'm off to work. On a Saturday. Cleaning after some remodeling. Bleh!

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Good morning! Boy do I feel better!!

I'm not ready to swear by the foot soaks/wet socks thing b/c it could be a placebo effect or the virus had run its course but... I'll definitely try it again (earlier) if I get that kind of cold again. Thanks for the tips, LC!

TMH, have you tried any sleep meditation apps (sound only)? Also, no light in your room, and no use of electronic devices for ~90 min b/f going to bed?

Ava and Pav - congrats on coming up on 4 months. That period was a bit of a downtime for me - the novelty and excitement of the experience was wearing off, I didn't feel like I fit with the newest newbies nor did I feel like I had enough experience to give too many suggestions. The people who quit about the same time I did had left and... I hadn't joined in on any threads like this one. It took more effort to focus on what was better about my life.

What happens to one person in no way means that it will happen to someone else so this is just a heads up not to worry about it you feel a lull. Just don't drink .

[lifechange]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hello Ladies!!
For a change I read last night's post as I ate lunch-- healthiest and yummiest damn lunch I've had in a long time. Found some little beets and greens at the market and made up a lemon- tahini dressing. Such a treat. Somehow it really is easier to eat well in the Spring, isn't it??

Ava! Just a couple of days and you'll be flying off to paradise! And just one more day and you've hit 4 months, which is amazing. I'm so happy for you-- please keep on getting your thoughts down here. You're showing us all how it's to be done if we are serious keeping al out of our lives. What you write and the responses you get help us ALL and I thank you for that.:l Did I ever tell you that my sister had 8 shitzus at one time? They were such a joy-- an ocean of fur when you entered the house!!

Pav, great on you, too! You were right there to kick al in the ass--even with being so exhausted. It seems like practice is paying off-- it's often said that the gaining the ability to recognise and "fight off" urges/cravings is like building a muscle. Grows stronger with time and practice. I so look forward to celebrating your 4 months with you on Wed.!

Nar, I am going to have to look up Stampede in Calgary. It sounds like a blast! I love the rodeo. I guess I hadn't realised you are all cowboys/girls up there! Do you ride? What sort of workouts are you doing? Yoga, too? I am just getting back into fitness and loving it. My problem (like with everything else in my life) is finding the discipline to keep up with it after a few weeks! I wish I could find an EASY way of re-wiring my brain!

NS, like I said, I am always grateful when you decide to slack off with your work!:H I get so much personally from your responses to others and I thank you for that. I hope (what can I say instead of hope when I don't completely trust myself?), I WILL do what Ava just did and write about concerns, thoughts-- How are you feeling today?

TMH, I will just add on to what the others have said-- I think it definitely makes a difference to have a 30 day af period. It hasn't been easy for me this time--I, too, had to fight with myself a bit especially, like you said, around the 2 week mark. I always seem to forget the terrible times-- we all seem to have incredibly selective memories, don't we? I am at 24 days after having "slipped" out of control-- and I will say it is getting a bit easier.

I have to say that for me it is still really difficult to "accept" that I won't ever drink again. When I began this AF journey last September I KNEW I would never drink again. And after having such a difficult time, with drinking again and trying to stop again, I don't trust my intentions. It's like there's a sneaky part of me that won't just fuck off. I don't really know what to do that I'm not already. It helped in the beginning to keep completely in the moment, not too far in the past or future. But I've seemed to forget (imagine that!) my purpose. I will go back to that. And otherwise I am just believing what NS, LB, Byrdie, Lav, Treetops, etc-- all the other old timers are saying-- that it does get easier to accept.

A big HELLO to all of you today-- wishing you a wonderful Sat...

[lifechange]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

xpost, NS!! so glad you are feeling better.

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

X-post LC :l

At the beginning when I responded to other peoples posts, I was usually explaining my plan or encouraging them to try various things that might work. That repetitive typing of the upsides of AF living, the help I received from MWO in general and a few special individuals in particular, the deliberate focus on gratitude, and all I learned about the science of addiction (and relapse) must have changed my brain because one day when I reread one of my posts, it just hit me that that person was truly done drinking. I just about burst into tears with the realization - talk about a RELIEF!

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Double x-post! We could do this all day...:H

[lifechange]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

:H:H

[MossRose]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi Loamers. Haven't dropped in for a while and have missed you all. Good to see laughter and happiness here. I've been reluctant to post because I've been a bit sad lately. Nothing bad has happened and I don't feel the need to drink away my blues. I'm just dealing with a life transition, and am doing my best to work through it.

My oldest son is moving out. In fact, he is moving in with my other son and his GF. They are so excited about getting a great place, and splitting the rent so I am happy for them. The problem is that it is quite a long distance from me. I live in a small town, in the middle of nowhere, and they are moving closer to the city. I can't blame them. But I am going to miss them so much when they are gone. I doubt I will see them very often after they move. They are young, vibrant and very busy. Heck - I barely see them now and we all live in the same complex. So I am dealing with empty nest syndrome, I guess. Plus the fact that my ex is back in town living with another woman. I'm not jealous - just melancholy. This was supposed to be our time.

So, I feel lonely already. I suppose I need to build a new life. And I will get working on that, but for today, I'm allowing myself to feel sad. I used to drink to blunt these feelings. Now I have no choice but to sit with them. So sorry for the sad-sack post. I just needed to get this out so I can move forward.

Thank you for listening. I honestly don't know what I would do without all of you.
xx,
Sher

[available]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hello lovely loamers

well i woke at 5.30am, guess i must be a bit excited about finishing work on Tuesday at 4.30pm and flying out to Queensland at 8am on Wednesday to meet mum. It is going to be such a long day as i think the flight does not leave till 3pm but i will pop my valium and sleep, sleep sleep. i hate flying but not much i can do as i am not a great swimmer! I will have to print of directions and give them to the pilot so he does not get us totally lost.

LC have you watched the movie "8 seconds" it is about the rodeo and a wonderful movie and sad of course so get the box of tissues out. 8 shitzu's, god one is enough, she is not real bright but just adorable. i would definitely get 1 shitzu again but i must say my maddison (maltese) is the brightest girl, knows the kids names etc and does not turn into dr. jekyll if she does not get her own way like Poppy does. That NEVER word has to be in my vocabulary with drinking, that was my hardest thought to get around LC but i know at the end of the day we alcoholics just cant drink, as much as we want to for some unknown reason as it was never fun getting blind, we do. I put my "pretty quiet" al voice in a box in the back of my brain and send it there when it is annoying me, its a visualisation for me. My al voice is a man about 2 inches tall and off i send him. Yep i am crazy but works! Hes in his box where all men belong, oops!

NS glad you are feeling better today, still giving a miss on the socks though but you never know with it coming into winter here. i will face the humidity and heat for 2 weeks and enjoy while i can. I am very lucky to have Pav with me on this journey of sobriety and it does make it easier with a quit buddy knowing that person is going through the same feelings/emotions etc but still plodding along as i am. today i am happy to be at 4 months as i never ever thought in my wildest dreams after years of pouring booze down my throat that little ole me could not drink. i had resigned myself to drinking being my life, not a part of it as it was getting beyond that, but my life and ending up dead like my brother. I am lucky i had a lucid moment and reaslied that at the end of the day i wanted life, my life and now i have it back. Being on this trip with my loamers makes each day so much easier and my life could not get any better. I never said that when i was drinking, there was nothing better about the next day or the next. Not drinking is just a part of me today as it will be tomorrow. No one is worth me drinking AT anymore. I am pretty sure i have got it too but it scares me and always will that i am one drink away again and for me the choice is totally off the table. Funny how i am now petrified of al whereas before i could not wait to drink anything to blot out the world/pain/day/night/morning/afternoon/life.

TMH how was the golf? My sleep was atrocious when i first stopped drinking but i realised the crap i had put into my body had to come out so i decided to be patient even if bone tired. I napped when i was tired as i realised i could be awake at any time so an hour or two was better than nothing and i did manage to get by. i also had horrendous headaches for weeks and weeks, reminded me of a hangover and thats when i used to think well why not drink. These have gone too.

Moss hello and nice of you to pop in. Keep posting about your feelings girl, we all have them and experience the happy with the sad. I cant imagine my children leaving where i live and luckily for me they are all settled but damn sometimes i so want my boys to leave home but i really dont as much as they annoy me. I am proud of you for not drinking and hey be grateful that some silly woman has your ex FWAD. Loneliness is hard when we are single and when i first was alone after 20 years i wanted/needed a man, thought i could not find my way if i did not have one and now i'm like, "do i really want/need a man in my life". We can only make it what it is and i am getting set in my ways now. If i seen my ex's woman in the street i would walk up to her and shake her hand and thank her for taking him. Do you think you could move? Be strong Moss you can do this without a drink.

Well today is :

120 days can be converted to one of these units:

10,368,000 seconds
172,800 minutes
2880 hours
120 days
17 weeks (rounded down)

and just to put it out there for when i come back on the 17th April it will be:

138 days can be converted to one of these units:

11,923,200 seconds
198,720 minutes
3312 hours
138 days
19 weeks (rounded down)

This is what i WILL be posting when i get back to Aus land.

Lunch with Mia and her bf today, homemade pizzas and packing, yes i am definitely packing today. I took tye shopping with me yesterday to buy food and we both decided it would be a small shop and $200 later. Gees that kid threw everything in the damn trolley but at least i know they will not starve. He even got a 6 pack of bourbon as he was a good boy and no inclination at all for me to even walk into the al section, no al thoughts jumping at me so that is a total positive that al is not wheedling his way into my brain before holidays.

well another nice long post but i am feeling the need to post a bit like a lunatic which is a good thing, well for me maybe.

hugs to you all my dear, lovely, supportive friends.
xx

[scottish lass]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Got a message from LC encouraging me to post. Just feeling in the dumps and not having much to post - I am here quitely reading and absorbing the strength. Same as Moss Rose, home can be tough and it just drains me - I am exhausted (and working stupid hours does not help) so having the motivation to write a good post is eluding me (or even a bad one) - so I am here, I am AF - almost completed a calendar month and I am reaidng all you lovely ladies messages.
Thanks for caring LC :l:l - and I agree with everyone, thanks to all the Loamers for making my new world achievable - in 5 days I will have broken my record and will need to keep on swimming...