Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Thanks for checking in, SL and MR. Posts don't need to be long, profound, or cheery. They just need to be real :l.

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Moss, I'm with Ava. Some silly woman has your FWAD, at least you don't have to deal with him! My kids will be moving out soon too. My daughter is going to University in Sept and my son is 17 so I don't see him a lot. It is so wierd coming home after work to an empty house. Well, I have my dog and that is nice although she is the laziest dog ever and sometimes can't be bothered to come to the door!

Life, no I don't ride horses but I do wear cowboy boots and hats. I do yoga, trx and walk a lot. In summer I like to ride my bike and roller blade.

Ava, I love the day counting. What a great idea! You will do it girl.
It's going to be so nice to wake up early and go for some fresh breakfast. Maybe some frwah baked buns and coffee with fruit.

I have been having AL thoughts and that is why I am here. Reading and posting. I will not drink tonight. I think I need to eat and kick these AL thoughts in the ass. I will do that now.

Big bear hug to you Giraffe

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

SL, xo

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi, Ladies.

SL - I'm glad LC stalked you and found you. I was thinking about your record and your AF March and hoping that you were still with us. Keep it up - you'll be so happy you did. As Byrdie said in the nest today, no one has ever come back to MWO and said they were glad they went back to drinking. As we all know, the stress, tension, sadness and anxiety just get worse with booze (after a temporary reprieve).

Moss (and SL), I agree with NS - no sense in having an alcohol free community if all we can post is happy, positive stuff. There have been a few of us not feeling so great this week - we need to stick together to help each other ride it out.

NS - How long did your 4 month down period last? I am sad to say that al visited me again today. I really don't feel like I am tempted to drink, so I don't think I have made a mental relapse - I just get tired of thinking about it all of the time, and tired of the fact that I AM that person - that person who can't drink again.

Like it or not, there is a stigma to being this way, and that is frustrating and irritating. I was talking to my counselor about that this week. If I say to people, "I just found I was drinking too much and once I quit I just felt better so I've stayed at it," people say, "wow, Pavati, you're so strong, I admire you.." I think if I were to say, "I am an alcoholic who drank too much, even when I didn't want to, even at odd times of the day, even when I swore I wouldn't," I don't think I would get such accolades, and yet both are true.

AVA!!! Congratulations on your 120 days! As usual you are way ahead of me as I am only on 118 my time, but I'll catch up soon enough. I hate to fly, too. Have you ever taken valium before? Does it knock you out?

I did take a quick walk, and got some house cleaning done today, and finally got some new bras (ooh, do I hate bra shopping). Other than that, a lazy day.

Hope all is well.

xo
Pav

[Dottie Belle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hello ladies,
I spent the better part of the day going through all the stuff from my folks house that I just didnt have time to sort through last summer. I found pictures of people I don't know and some interesting things but I just cant keep it all. I put so much stuff in the recycling bin and we took it and dumped all of it. I feel a little guilty but I just cant keep it all and with no siblings or kids I have no one to foist it upon. It is not all done yet but I feel good that I have at least put a dent into it.
Now I have to sort through the things from the RV. I want a clean house so we can have a small get together this summer for a BIG birthday coming up...
I can do this!!!

[available]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Whose big birthday dot? I need to get my butt into gear and go through my garage and have a council pickup but when i come back. i have been procrastinating about cleaning that damn garage for 6+ months now.

SL great work on a month. when i got to 30 days i wanted a drink but i did not want what the drink had to offer me and that was nothing. I missed my buddy al, still do but i know i am a much better person without that said friend. Be strong we are here for you.

Nar i know you wont drink, you are having way too much fun being sober. go girl and enjoy your breakfast.

Pav i too am tired of being the one who doesnt drink but i am the one that cant drink like us all on here. Its a fact and we just have to deal with it like anyone with an addiction. I wish i was "normal" but in general my life now is so totally better and i have to appreciate that each and every day. i am totally here for the children and myself and as much as i miss my ex best friend at the end of the day i know in my heart that i cannot ever ever drink again. Oh and i do quite like the attention when i wrack up days whereas when i was drinking what was there to celebrate? Fark all. I slipped two discs about 3 years ago in my back and the only drug that would stop the spasms is valium. of course i was told how addictive it was so i was wary (still drinking like a fish mind you) but it worked and when i fly i take 5mgs and settles me right down and i can nap also, feel a bit groggy but dont we all after a 8-9 hour flight. Drs do not like prescribing it but the dr knows how i hate flying and i told him to give me extra just in case for my mother!

fwell i am going to pack. xx

[Dottie Belle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

My 60th birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Holy crap I cant believe I am that old....but looking better and feeling better than I have in a very long time...

[available]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

wow lots of big birthdays this year and i totally agree with you dot that being sober makes things more worthwhile, even turning 60 lol. just kidding. I just remember how sick you were when you gave up drinking and how much has changed with you now, im proud to be your friend.

[Dottie Belle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Thanks ava and I am proud of u too AND grateful to be your friend...you have come so far and making progress every day!!!

[little beagle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Dottie, yes you can.
Narilly that Calgary thing sounds fun. Wish I could see that.
Good to see you Mossrose. I'm glad you posted what you are feeling. I'm still learning to deal with life's negative side. It helps me to know I'm not alone.
SL I hope you just keep on keeping up the af days. It gets better.
Ava post like a lunatic. I enjoy it. Congratulations on 4 months. :wave:
Glad you feel better NS.
Pav right at 4 months. :goodjob:
I am so tired my eyes are shutting.

[scottish lass]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Pavati;1643116 wrote: - I just get tired of thinking about it all of the time, and tired of the fact that I AM that person - that person who can't drink again.

Pav - i so feel like this! I am happier when I don't drink, and feel better, but I wish I was not in this place - I keep having so many thoughts about the switch going the otehr way and I can be "normal" again...and I hate thinking about it non stop - I am happy when I don't drink, just wish I could be happy not drinking! Pav - :l:l (PS - wish you had picked me up to go bra shopping togther - I hate it, but badly need to do it!
Nar - xoxox
Ava, LB and everyone - 38 days tomorrow, 42 is my personal best...thanks to you guys I will keep it up...
I had my 50th a couple years ago and had hoped to be af, I was here but did not manage to be af - so good luck to you all!

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

I'm off to bed, ladies.

SL - the thing that can make us happy not drinking is truly adopting that attitude of gratitude that Lav talks about. I am sincerely grateful for what I've gained from not drinking. I get irritated about not drinking but most definitely and without a doubt the alternative for me is worse. There is no alternative that involves a single beer on the odd Friday, so it just has to be this way. Since it has to be this way I may as well count my blessings, and get on with life...

Jane, Jane, where are you?? Not like you to be so quiet...

Dot - is all that stuff from your mother? I tend to hand on to things for their memories. I was watching a reality show called "Clean Sweep" once where they go in and help people throw away a lot of clutter. This woman would not get rid of an old, ugly chair because it had been her grandmothers. The host took her hands and looked her in the eye and said, "honey, your grandmother does not live in that chair..." It was eye opening for me, but it is still hard for me to throw things away. I'm going to try that 15 minutes you all were talking about.

Keep packing, Ava. How much do you need to pack to a spa in Thailand? Don't you just need a few sarongs, some flip flops and a hibiscus for your hair?

G'night, folks.

Pav

[giraffe1234]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Happy birthday Dotty. Hope you have a wonderful year filled with love and many blessings!

Im back from a short camping trip; and strated off today with a hot air balloon flight in Magaliesberg. It was lovely; went up 7300 ft for about an hour 20 mins. Everybody had champers upon landing. I was sorely tempted but managed to stick to juice.

NoSugar; i loved your carrots/cheese/wine analogy! Made me smile, and there is a lot of truth in it. Giving up al is really hard. It does get easier as time goes by; but to me it remains a challenge. Thank goodness the rewards are ample. And while temptations abound, so does help.

Hope you all have a good day.

[Dottie Belle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Pav yep the things were from my folks house. They lived there since 1959 so had a lot of stuff and I think mother had stuff from when her mother died and her aunt so I am looking through things from decades and decades ago...I am only keeping things that are important to me. Sad to throw away pictures but I have no clue who they are and no one to ask...
Off to church. back later.

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

MossRose;1643043 wrote: I'm just dealing with a life transition, and am doing my best to work through it. ... So I am dealing with empty nest syndrome, I guess. Plus the fact that my ex is back in town living with another woman. I'm not jealous - just melancholy. This was supposed to be our time.
So, I feel lonely already. I suppose I need to build a new life. And I will get working on that, but for today, I'm allowing myself to feel sad. I used to drink to blunt these feelings. Now I have no choice but to sit with them. So sorry for the sad-sack post. I just needed to get this out so I can move forward.
My bet is that any of us who have had children who have done what in our culture is the norm -- grown up and out -- has experienced this. Like you and Ava, I've had the gift of some extra time with an adult child and it has been great. But it's over now in the day-to-day living sense, as is needs to be. Unlike when my kids went on to college and I was unprepared for what that "loss", in addition to some others, would do to me, I'm ready this time. And you're right, it is ok to be sad. Change is always hard for me but I must admit, it rarely if ever turns out to be as bad as I've anticipated it will be. I hope you can look at this as an opportunity to live your life to the fullest, doing what you enjoy and is meaningful to you. You may find someone to be with who treats you the way you deserve to be treated but no matter what, you can treat yourself that way (And I hope you can get a dog soon because I know you would love to do that ).

Narilly, my dog only lies there and thumps her tail when I come home but even that is a nice greeting.

Pavati;1643116 wrote: NS - How long did your 4 month down period last? I am sad to say that al visited me again today. I really don't feel like I am tempted to drink, so I don't think I have made a mental relapse - I just get tired of thinking about it all of the time, and tired of the fact that I AM that person - that person who can't drink again. available;1643130 wrote: Pav i too am tired of being the one who doesnt drink but i am the one that cant drink like us all on here. Its a fact and we just have to deal with it like anyone with an addiction. I wish i was "normal" but in general my life now is so totally better and i have to appreciate that each and every day

scottish lass;1643148 wrote: Pav - i so feel like this! I am happier when I don't drink, and feel better, but I wish I was not in this place - I keep having so many thoughts about the switch going the otehr way and I can be "normal" again...and I hate thinking about it non stop - I am happy when I don't drink, just wish I could be happy not drinking!!

Pav, it didn't last all that long, I'm sure, but my sense of time over this last year is so warped, that I can't say for sure. Probably no more than a week or so. In some ways time has creeped from seemingly endless day to another long one and in others it has flown by. I know I sometimes seem to be contradicting myself but that's because in short bursts of time I could vacillate between absolutely loving my AF life to desperately wanting to be "normal".

Those down times hit me (and still do) when I don't stay focused on why this has been the right choice - noticing and being thankful for the changes - and when I don't work on actively forgiving myself. My biggest problems all along have been feeling regretful for lost time and opportunities and guilty for "having done this to myself". I wasn't at all young when drinking became a problem and I don't have a history that in some way could help 'explain' my choices - I feel like I caused it, didn't fix it for such a long time, and should have known better.

Intellectually, I've come to understand much about how all of this came about but on the more important, emotional level, I have to focus daily on how I'm doing the right thing now and that that is all that matters. When I drift away from that and become mired in self-pity is when I really get down, like happened at ~ 4 months. The encouraging thing I can say about it is that being aware of and grateful for the present is becoming normal and my dips into self-pity and doubt are much rarer and when they occur, easier to correct. A huge part of that is participating here. When I talk to all of you, I'm talking to myself.

I've decided that being normal in this arena is impossible because there is no "normal". The people you see who can take it or leave it (for whom alcohol really is like a carrot), probably have never even experienced the 'good' feeling you think you're missing. It isn't hard to give up what you've never really had.

For all the rest, we don't know what is going on in their heads -- whether leaving a bit in their glass is for show, to 'prove' to themselves or someone else that they don't have a problem, or whether they drank before or plan to drink after their witnessed drinking. We don't know who is looking at us, the non-drinkers, and wishing that they could be normal, too.

Giraffe, I think you really summed it up here:

giraffe1234;1643208 wrote: Giving up al is really hard. It does get easier as time goes by; but to me it remains a challenge. Thank goodness the rewards are ample. And while temptations abound, so does help.

Before I came here, I didn't know that help (of a kind I was willing to accept) was available. We are so fortunate that we live in a time that it is and that we have the resources to take advantage of it.