Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[lifechange]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi Ladies,
I have had a crazy day, running around enjoying the sunshine-- I read all of the posts from yesterday and today and feel close to all of you-- but don't have so much to say, myself. So sending you all love :h:h:h:h and hope that it's a fairly easy and relaxing Sunday for everyone.
xxoxoxo

[scottish lass]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

You are so right Pav about the attitude of gratitude, and I have been working so hard on that - I think that is why this quit appears to be my most successful one, however it does not stop me wishing for things to be different, it does stop me from drinking again though.
Happy Sunday with some sun here after all the rain, and more rain to come tomorrow - got some strawberry plants today

[scottish lass]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Meant to add - I decided to lose the chocolate weight I had put on during my aim to stop drinking - I started really well, first week was a winner - then same as drinking, I let the chocolate back in - and no more weight loss. I ordered L-Glut after the chats here. It comes tomorrow - NS - so, should I start just taking it routinely? or more on an as needed basis - it is after work that I go on a chocolate hunt, but have sweet desires thru day - and I am not a big sweet person....

[available]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Loamers a quick check in for me, sleeping like crap, think i am excited. going to take a valium tomorrow as going to be a long long long day at the airport. I dont need to start the holiday cranky as we know where that leads..... to me drinking a crap load of coffee and its expensive at the airport.

NS you worded that post of yours so well and i totally agree with what you said. al for me crept up over the years from the normal drinking to the alcoholic. I regret the past but i cant change it to the Nth degree, i can only make the here and now better and be totally grateful that i am sober today and hopefully tomorrow. I cant be normal, never have been normal and to me this is my normal. I thank you NS for all your help with keeping me sober. Some words spoken on here i think were written for me and i think now i totally get being sober even if that af voice comes to visit occasionally. My life af is great today and will be tomorrow.

SL oh sugar, i am getting l-glut when i come back if i dont wean myself off sugar when i am away. If it is not in the house i am fine but god if i crave sugar it feels like i crave al so it has to go, just like the smoking when i come back. god i have not even left yet and have plans for my return.

LC glad to see it is warming up your way. it is going to be in the 30's today which is unusual for this time of year but i am taking all that Vitamin D while i can.

Well packing almost complete. Breaking Bad series packed and swimmers and pj's the rest i can buy. God i shocked myself today, walked into the bathroom and looked in the mirror at my morning beauty and there stood my mother. FFS maybe this is not going to be a good day, i am so not like my mother lol.

have a great one lovelies. Jvo check in, Daisy where are you, hope you are ok Humble.

love to all of you but time to get my lazy arse out of bed for work.
xxx

[scottish lass]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Oh gosh Ava - did this the other day which is one of the reasons I am determined to lose weight! :upset::H:H

available;1643372 wrote:
. God i shocked myself today, walked into the bathroom and looked in the mirror at my morning beauty and there stood my mother. FFS maybe this is not going to be a good day, i am so not like my mother lol.

I don't think I have said it, but have thought it a lot - I hope you have a great, and successful trip - I know I will be cheering you on, you are forging the way for all of us to have AF family trips....(and hoping that that is not an oxymoron:H:H)

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi Ladies,
I'm sorry for letting myself and all who care about me down. This week has been a total wreck and reinforced the fact that I am an alcoholic and can never drink. There's no denying this fact. So all I can do now is focus on the present. My boys being gone has been a wake up call for me in realizing how important they are in my life. I've complained about DH, but in reality, this made me see how much I love him.

In talking with NS, I know I need more help than MWO can offer me. Don't get me wrong, please. You ladies have been so important to me and supportive. I never want to lose that. I've been going back and forth with going back to AA, which I've decided that it's not the route I want to take. But what I do need is counseling. I've got the name of a woman named Angie, who I'm going to contact. The only problem right now is time. But I'll make time for that, because if I don't, then I could struggle with these setbacks forever, and I don't want to struggle anymore.

When I have gotten to my 40 and almost 50 days, it's kind of like I've run out of steam. Sounds like white-knucking to that point, but really, I don't struggle and then something snaps. What is the missing piece of the puzzle? I think it's not feeling good about myself, not reinforcing the attitude of gratitude, and focusing on the negatives. I need to let some things in my head go, and I think with the help of a good therapist, I can do that. I should have done this long ago, well, I did, just not the right therapist for me. I give up on things too quickly. I need to realize that my life is important, that I am important, and I can't give up on myself anymore.

So, I'm excited my boys will be home this evening. The don't get in until about 10:30, but that's ok. Baseball is going to be a challenge, but as one smart lady I know told me, I don't have to go to all the games, make myself crazy (oops, already am, hence counseling) but do what I can.

I've really missed you girls, and I'm glad to be back in the loop.

SL, congratulations on your days! I'm not ready for the "nosugar" thing yet, but L-glut, I hear, works well.

Pav, maybe it's best not the be "normal." Who wants to be like everyone else. We are special. Congrats on your 118 days.

Ava, 120, friend. You are such a lovely and I'm so happy for you. I'm crying as I type this I'm so proud of you and love you.

Love you all.

[little beagle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

J-vo it sounds like you have a plan. Good job. I want you to succeed. I know you can. Just finding the right combination is key. I. Sm so glad you are even more determined to beat this nasty old al's butt. Good for you.
Thank you for the pep talk NS. I needed to hear that today.
Ava sound like you about to burst a blood vessel you are so excited.
I'm spring cleaning. Taking a break, waiting for hubby to go to work tomorrow. One more main room after I work tomorrow and then i'll be finished for the time being.
Dottie is today your B-day or are you trying to get ready for the party. Sorry I got confused and I want to say happy Birtyday if it is today.

[Dottie Belle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

My birthday is in June. I am just trying to shovel out the house so we can have some folks over. I want to celebrate a little and you cant even walk through the living room or dining room right now but I am making progress.

[scottish lass]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

j-vo :l:l - xoxoxo - :l:l

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

scottish lass;1643365 wrote: Meant to add - I decided to lose the chocolate weight I had put on during my aim to stop drinking - I started really well, first week was a winner - then same as drinking, I let the chocolate back in - and no more weight loss. I ordered L-Glut after the chats here. It comes tomorrow - NS - so, should I start just taking it routinely? or more on an as needed basis - it is after work that I go on a chocolate hunt, but have sweet desires thru day - and I am not a big sweet person....

Hi, SL - I would use it as needed if I were you. If that doesn't work, you could try a dosing regimen. I'm not sure what is recommended for that. The way it works is by providing your brain a fuel it can burn directly so I don't see how taking it at a particular time would help with a craving 2 hours later. Dissolving in water that you drink over a period of time might work, too. Hope it helps!

[available]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

quick check in at work, i really cant do much as i am over in thailand. the only problem with that is that mum rang to make sure i was organised and boy am i organised. so organised in fact that i was leaving a day early on the Wednesday and we are not flying out till thursday. oops but does mean i can do lunch with my girls on wednesday.

Jvo we can only do what we have to and you are one determined woman, i dont think i would have your determination to keep going. i am so very proud of you and i know you can do this. make sure the counsellor suits you, just because your friend recommended her does not mean she may be right for your needs. I was lucky i found a great one the first time i went but she retired and i know i need another one but maybe later. not for drinking, well maybe a little as i denied it to the other one but just to let some more past go.

LB yes i am busting so much i busted early lol. i am still shaking my head about that one. gives me a day extra to pack and be on mwo. i will get withdrawals on the plane not being able to check in here.

Jane, good to see you having a great time, enjoy your time.

best get back to work.

hugs to you all xxxxx

[Myluck]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

:hHi all - quick stop by to check in - proud to announce 160 days today for me in my new AF life. Feeling confident, focused, healthy and happy. Just finished my last class for my MBA and signed up already to get Masters in Computer Science (Software engineering concentration). My job is paying for my school, so why not? Hope everybody doing ok!

[scottish lass]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Jane - never heard of a shelling cruise! I love shells, we have lots of glasses full of shells we have collected over the years!

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

MAE, Loamers (oh, FARK. Just lost a long post. Will try to recreate.):

available;1643372 wrote: I cant be normal, never have been normal and to me this is my normal. I thank you NS for all your help with keeping me sober. Some words spoken on here i think were written for me and i think now i totally get being sober even if that af voice comes to visit occasionally. My life af is great today and will be tomorrow.

No, you're not normal! :H That's why we love you and identify with you - we're all normally abnormal. Sorry you had the wrong day for your flight and started worrying a day too early - glad your girls were around to take care of you. Can't wait to hear about your trip.

j-vo;1643383 wrote: So all I can do now is focus on the present...

When I have gotten to my 40 and almost 50 days, it's kind of like I've run out of steam. Sounds like white-knucking to that point, but really, I don't struggle and then something snaps. What is the missing piece of the puzzle? I think it's not feeling good about myself, not reinforcing the attitude of gratitude, and focusing on the negatives. I need to let some things in my head go, and I think with the help of a good therapist, I can do that. I should have done this long ago, well, I did, just not the right therapist for me. I give up on things too quickly. I need to realize that my life is important, that I am important, and I can't give up on myself anymore.

J-Vo! :l

I agree with you that focusing on the present is key. I remember reading some quote - living in the past is depression and anxiety is living in the future. Makes sense to me. As you know, I see a therapist - it has been very worthwhile in many ways, not the least of which is getting sober. Once I told her my "secret," it was out in the real world and even if I wanted to try to continue lying to myself, I couldn't lie to her. I am a perfect candidate for talk therapy (as you can imagine given my loss for words around here). I agree that it is important for you to find someone you like, although I stuck with my person and she turned out to be great.

I'm also glad that you appreciated DH once he was gone. Sometimes in the middle of our hectic life I forget to appreciate my DH, too.

Hop back on this crazy wagon with us - I hope you find your path soon.

NoSugar;1643313 wrote: And you're right, it is ok to be sad. Change is always hard for me but I must admit, it rarely if ever turns out to be as bad as I've anticipated it will be.

My biggest problems all along have been feeling regretful for lost time and opportunities and guilty for "having done this to myself". I wasn't at all young when drinking became a problem and I don't have a history that in some way could help 'explain' my choices - I feel like I caused it, didn't fix it for such a long time, and should have known better.

I anticipate certain things as being much worse than they are. My first being big birthdays - turns out the anticipation is much worse than the actual day which is, after all, just 24 hours after the last day...

I also feel the guilt of "having done this to myself." How could miss perfect also be an alcoholic???? I used to look at my cousins who are alcoholics with some amount of pity - too bad they let themselves get that way. I have such a greater understanding of addiction now, but I still feel shame and anger. I am working on it! (see therapist above). I agree with Ava, you have helped me so much in this journey!

Myluck;1643458 wrote: :hHi all - quick stop by to check in - proud to announce 160 days today for me in my new AF life. Feeling confident, focused, healthy and happy. Just finished my last class for my MBA and signed up already to get Maters in Computer Science (Software engineering concentration). My job is paying for my school, so why not? Hope everybody doing ok!
Amazing milestones, MyLuck! Working, going to school, getting sober - congratulations on all that you have accomplished. Thanks for checking in.

Jane - a bike ride in Florida sounds like about what the doctor ordered. Glad you could check in if only for a wee bit.

Nar, SL, Giraffe, Dot, LC, Marylou, NewDreams, Acadia, Humble - I'm sure I missed someone, but I'm not going to go try to look as that's what happened last time.

Sleep tight (or WAKE UP), Loamers. Thanks for a thoughtful discussion this weekend. I'll be back to the grindstone this week. Group Hug! :hug:

xo
Pav

[lifechange]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Good Morning, Loamers!!

such great posts this weekend and so much I wanted to respond to, but I was too lazy. I didn't do my chores around the house either. And now it's back to work so I'll be doing double time!!

:l:l:l and love to you all..