Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[scottish lass]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Quick check in - week off work, yahoo!
Got raviolis for Christmas Eve - day of cookie baking now.
Tree decorated, gifts wrapped - starting to get in the spirit, all be it without any spirits!!

Humble - what liver cleanse do you use? I have started Livatone. I also take evening primrose oil and krill oil...

One thing about MWO is everyones story's of what they have been through and how they have survived - people never cease to amaze me - there are some truly amazing people here...

[available]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi lovelies,

Well this sleep in bit isnt happening as yet, i suppose my body clock is still used to waking at 5.45am for work. Woke up thinking i had a hangover but it was just a headache, hoping they leave me soon. But enough whinging, im al free so i really cant complain.

Humbe a mothers intuition is always spot on, there is a connection with our children and i suppose it is because we carried them and gave birth to them. I would have had exactly the same thoughts on drinking that you did, just obliterate the feelings inside, us alkies are good at that. He would be so proud to see the woman that you are now.

Jvo i intend to spend money on candlemaking stuff but i can only buy it online and now everything is closed till the new year but thats okay i have plenty of other things to occupy my time.

Pav isnt it nice to have a reasonably calm house, funny when the mainstay of the house is calm the rest normally falls into place. I know my house was so chaotic, they boys just did as they pleased and i just got pissed. Now they are like WTF mum is here in body and mind.

Well typical melbourne weather is here again and its raining and cool. Not much of a summer to report thus far but i am sure i will be bitching up a storm about the heat soon.

Glad everyone is well even though busy. Keep in touch and thinking of you all
x

[Dottie Belle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Working on the stuff in the dining room..do u think dh offered to help...NO...I only did 2 hours and that didnt make much of a dent but that is all I could take....
men AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Dottie, hang in there. He is probably not gonna change. I totally get your frustration!

SL, nice to hear from you.
Avail, I will make the sacrifice and move to Austraila. At least you don't get -20c!
J-Vo, Pav, Humble, great your busy.
I really want a glass of wine tonight. Don't know why. I have to figure that out. I know I don't want to drink. I keep thinking I can have just one.
AaaAHGH!
Talk soon,

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Just a quick "hi" and I was reading something on another thread that I wanted to share with you beauties:

"Being sober is just a 'chance' for something more fulfilling, not a cure for life."

We have the chance now for those more fulfilling days, moments, situations, and I'm grateful for that. There's no "cure" for a perfect life. But we have chances to have the fulfilling life we've always dreamed of, if we stay sober.

[scottish lass]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Me too Narilly - had to go to store as we ran out of eggs for the baking...everyone was stocking up, and my thought a glass would be lovely tonight - so agree with AaaAHGH!

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Oh SL, it's so hard. I just cleaned, did laundry, posted, dusted... Just trying to keep busy. I love to drink and party, be a social butterfly and just hanging out at home, it's tough. Sitting here kinda bored makes me want to drink. Going out makes me want to drink.
Frick.
I am not going to drink tonight. I just have to get through this weak moment.
Hang in there with me SL!!
We can do this.

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

SL and Narilly,
Hope you girls got through that difficult time last night. You did the right thing by coming here and talking about it! That's what we need to do. When I went out to dinner last night, I was watching people drinking their beer, wine, or whatever it was. I felt somewhat obsessed at the site. I thought to myself, "look, she has a glass of water next to her beer. She doesn't want to get dehydrated, and I imagine that if that's the case, she's probably only having one or two." That wasn't me. Fill up on water!!!?? No way. Martini, first, then beer. Most of those people were not there to drink and get drunk. They were there to eat and enjoy a good meal. So they have one or two and enjoy their meal. They don't get loaded, and that would be our intent. So we don't have the one or two that they have. We would never have one or two anyway. And I wouldn't care what I would eat. Actually, I would prefer as little as possible.

But just because I feel better without AL doesn't mean the "first moments" of drinking that drink, that pleasant feeling don't come back and haunt me. It's a relationship that i've been in for 30 years. That's a really long time, and I suppose just like death and moving through all of the stages, we will go through those with AL. Acceptance of going through each of these stages might be a good thing. This is how we feel. It's normal. It's normal to be angry, longing for it, deep sadness. He was with us for so long. It's a major change in our lives. That's why we need to take it ODAT. If we lost a loved one, we wouldn't think how we are going to be in a year. We would take the pain ODAT. We would do what we could to get through the pain daily. Use tools. Talk to others. But never would we expect that the pain of losing someone we love should go away in a short time. So this is why it's difficult in the beginning of sobriety. We want to feel ok, we do, but we have these deep feelings of loss. It's ok. It takes time. Lots of time. So let's be here, talk about it, and one day at a time, we will do this. We will walk further and further away from something bad that was going to end up killing us physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Love you Ladies.

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

SL and Narilly,
Hope you girls got through that difficult time last night. You did the right thing by coming here and talking about it! That's what we need to do. When I went out to dinner last night, I was watching people drinking their beer, wine, or whatever it was. I felt somewhat obsessed at the site. I thought to myself, "look, she has a glass of water next to her beer. She doesn't want to get dehydrated, and I imagine that if that's the case, she's probably only having one or two." That wasn't me. Fill up on water!!!?? No way. Martini, first, then beer. Most of those people were not there to drink and get drunk. They were there to eat and enjoy a good meal. So they have one or two and enjoy their meal. They don't get loaded, and that would be our intent. So we don't have the one or two that they have. We would never have one or two anyway. And I wouldn't care what I would eat. Actually, I would prefer as little as possible.

But just because I feel better without AL doesn't mean the "first moments" of drinking that drink, that pleasant feeling don't come back and haunt me. It's a relationship that i've been in for 30 years. That's a really long time, and I suppose just like death and moving through all of the stages, we will go through those with AL. Acceptance of going through each of these stages might be a good thing. This is how we feel. It's normal. It's normal to be angry, longing for it, deep sadness. He was with us for so long. It's a major change in our lives. That's why we need to take it ODAT. If we lost a loved one, we wouldn't think how we are going to be in a year. We would take the pain ODAT. We would do what we could to get through the pain daily. Use tools. Talk to others. But never would we expect that the pain of losing someone we love should go away in a short time. So this is why it's difficult in the beginning of sobriety. We want to feel ok, we do, but we have these deep feelings of loss. It's ok. It takes time. Lots of time. So let's be here, talk about it, and one day at a time, we will do this. We will walk further and further away from something bad that was going to end up killing us physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Love you Ladies.:l

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Read this in the "toolbox" this morning...

Becoming sober is like recovering from frostbite.

The process of defrosting is excruciatingly painful. You have been so numb for so long. And as feeling comes back to your soul, you start to tingle, and it’s uncomfortable and strange. But then the tingles start feeling like daggers. Sadness, loss, fear, anger, all of these things that you have been numbing with the booze . . . you start to FEEL them for the first time. And it’s horrific at first, to tell you the damn truth. But feeling the pain, refusing to escape from it, is the only way to recovery. You can’t go around it, you can’t go over it, you have to go through it. There is no other option, except for amputation. And if you allow the defrosting process to take place, if you trust that it will work, if you can stand the pain, one day you will get your soul back. If you can feel, it means there has been no amputation. If you can feel, you can hope. If you can feel, you are not too late.

[HumbleRider]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi all,
SL, the supplement is called Liver Cleanse by Gaia. I got it at Super Supplements if you have one nearby. It's supposed to be a good one. You're right, there are some amazing people here, and each one has helped me in some way so far.

Ava, the dull headaches were the worst for me, especially since they seemed to hang on and were accompanied by a bit of nausea. Actually started to worry me, but now they are pretty much gone. Geez, what have I done to my body to make it react like this?

And yes, Ava, that's what I think about my son. He was most likely deeply concerned about my spiral into drunken grief, but he is proud of me now. Haha, Ava, "wtf...mom's here in body and mind." I had a belly laugh over that one!

J-vo, I'm taking my chance this time and doing something with it. And I was like you--save as many of my calories as possible for alcohol. Water? No way, that would fill me up. Food was secondary as well, although I do love food, so I gained about 25 pounds in the years after my son died. Lost it all a few years ago during a sober period designed exclusively for weight loss and a return to semi-health. I did not plan on giving up alcohol forever and went right back to drinking when I'd lost the weight. Heck, I would rationalize, a bottle of white wine is only 600 calories and we all know it has health benefits. Sheesh.

Scottish and Nar, that glass looks and sounds lovely, but I know you are also thinking of the consequences down the road! Nar, they say stay away from the places you drink. Well, for me that would be everywhere except work, especially my own home. How hard is that? I know what you mean about every place and emotional state making you think of having a drink.

So today is day 50 for me, yay! I finally got a calendar app so I don't have to exercise my mental muscles over it. I can instead concentrate on exercising my sober muscles. Happy AF MAE and I'll check back in later. The holidays are starting to get to me a bit, and I need your support. Thanks, everyone.

[HumbleRider]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

J-vo, x-posted, love the frostbite analogy. Just what I needed this morning, thanks.

[Dottie Belle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

"So today is day 50 for me, yay! I finally got a calendar app so I don't have to exercise my mental muscles over it. I can instead concentrate on exercising my sober muscles."
WTG humble...half way to 100,,
What app did u get. I am losing track of my days...

[HumbleRider]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi Dottie,
Thanks for the support today. The app is called CalenMob, it's free, will sync with your other calendars if you want it to, and best of all for me, user friendly. I downloaded another free one and promptly deleted it since I couldn't figure out how to add text to the days.

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi,

I just have a quick moment to check in before I head to take my son to basketball. I will reply better tomorrow, but I love the frostbite analogy. SL and Narilly, glad you posted here. I was feeling that same way, too. We went out with friends last night and started with dinner at a pub/restaurant with great beer. As the other four of them were choosing beer, toasting and tasting what each other were ordered, I was explaining that I am not drinking "during the holiday season" at least. I told them that I really missed drinking in that moment - the first beer, the tasting of the different types, etc., but that I really didn't miss the rest of the alcohol during the night.

Sure enough, that's what happened. We had a great dinner, went to see some outstanding live music, and even ended up at a bar later in the evening. I didn't miss the alcohol at all, laughed a ton, and even got into that late night discussion/argument (in fun) that I thought could only happen with alcohol. What a revelation. Now I don't feel hungover and will be getting my son to his basketball game with a clear head and clear eyes. I really needed a night like that to show me that a sober life will not turn me into a boring stick in the mud.

Humble - Amazing on your 50 days. Keep leading us into sobriety!

Have to run. Will check back and read more later. Hope you lovelies have a wonderful sober Sunday.