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    Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

    Pavati;1643815 wrote:
    I was in and out of a giant funk today - really anxious, sad, weird from out of nowhere, and then back to normal. WTF?? I ate well, slept ok, got exercise. Oh, well. Chalk it up to one of those days.
    jane27;1643818 wrote: Cranky as shit over here. Tomorrow's a new day. Love to all.
    Are you guys having better days today?? I hope so. Drinking made it so I didn't completely feel the bad days but given its total nonselectivity, I missed many of the good ones too . Brene Brown's comment in one of her talks that when we numb ourselves from pain, we numb everything really hit home with me. Plus, there was all the negative fall-out from a numbed night anyway! Better just to feel all of it, right?

    narilly;1643911 wrote: Ava, three weeks leave sounds GREAT!
    I agree! How many weeks off do you get each year??? Most US companies and organizations are not at all that generous with vacation time.

    narilly;1643911 wrote:
    Pav, those two glasses of wine may sound nice but they are full of tension in my mind.
    No kidding! When I was walking yesterday I saw one of those little single serving bottles of wine that had been littered. The amount that would fit in that bottle is laughingly small. Frankly, I don't know many people who drink at all that would think one of those was sufficient. So glad to be done with all that stress about "enough".

    available;1644036 wrote:

    I know i will be fine but i will just miss you guys. I feel like i am leaving my children not being on here. These are good emotions and i am gaining a bit more strength and resilience leaving loamers for a couple of days. Emotions that i have not felt for such a long time, sadness of going, happy to be going, confident in myself, instead of dreading what i am heading into for two weeks i am looking forward to the challenges to prove to myself that i deserve this life being sober.
    We are going to miss you, too, Ava. Your steadfast presence on this thread is one of the things that keeps me coming back. Enjoy your adventure! Love you, NS

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      Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

      Awwww Ava - we are going to miss you as well. The LOAMers are quiet today, just imagine without you!!We will be desperate for an Ava thread when you are able to check in:l
      Enjoy your trip, get rest and rejuvinate - I hope that you have a good time with your mother and are able to build some bridges, and come out of the trip with much more that you are going into it with...
      Enjoy, :l
      “The only courage you will ever need is the courage to live the life you want"

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        Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

        Hello ladies,
        Have been in a funk all day..good thing I have a meeting at church tonight because I was very temped to hit the wine store...to what end I am not sure but it did cross my mind but that is as far as it went..
        Will miss you ava...have a great time!!
        Dottie

        Newbie's Nest

        Tool Box
        ____________
        AF 9.1.2013

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          Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

          Ava, Ava, Ava, You enjoy yourself girl. We will miss you but you will still be talking to us and we will still be here when you get back. Have a ton of fun with your mom.

          Dottie, Stay away from that wine store!! aaaaahhhh! good that you did

          NS, I get 3 weeks off for vacation. I hope to make it to 4 weeks soon. I figure anyone over 50 needs at least 4 weeks off.

          SL, we will have to post more to make up for Ava. Actually nothing can make up for missing Ava but she will be Back. Just like the Terminator. "I'll Be Back"

          Ava, Avicii is playing on the radio right now and it reminds me of you. Isn't that funny? I would have done exactly what you did on that last drunk. Badger the DJ to death to play this song! So neat how we only know each other through but things remind us of each other.

          Hey, make sure you take note of the food in Thailand. I want to know what you loved in terms of the food. I love all that Thai kind of food. Sate, noodles etc. Yum, Yum...

          Talk you you beautiful ladies later.
          Narilly

          "Nothing in this World Can take the place of Persistence"
          "You can have the life you want OR you can Drink"

          AF April 12, 2014

          Comment


            Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

            Dottie Belle;1644064 wrote: I was very temped to hit the wine store...to what end I am not sure but it did cross my mind but that is as far as it went..
            Heck, DB, if I acted on some of the crazy ideas that flit across my brain, I can't even imagine where I'd be :H. Those thoughts are just thoughts, not cravings, not signs that you're weakening - just a weird random memory of something from your past. Good for you to just let that go.

            Speaking of letting it go, I love this song from Frozen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=moSFlvxnbgk&feature=kp
            It certainly fits in with yesterday's discussion of perfectionism!

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              Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

              Thank you all and NS in particular - beaming right now in happiness!
              AF since 10/20/2013
              Smoke free since 09/24/2007
              Meat free since 09/20/2008
              ---------------------------------------
              With will one can do anything - Samuel Smiles

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                Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

                After work, DS had his first varsity baseball game on our home field. It was the most beautiful day today. 75 and sunny. Gorgeous. After game MIL took us all to an Italian restaurant. Was really nice. While at the restaurant, our waitress who is a woman I graduated high school with, was telling me about going to see Cher tomorrow. Then she was talking about Pat Benetar and that her ex-husband used to call her and sing into the phone "love is a battlefield" before he died. She said he was 49, and I asked her what had happened. Drinking, of course.

                Ava, quit sooking honey! You'll be fine and we'll be anxiously awaiting the Ava Gazette all the way from Thailand! You deserve this!

                Nar, used my deep breathing and calm app on break today. I do think it calmed me a bit and don't think it was all in my head. Even if it is just in my head, I'll take it.

                Marylou, where's your mind????? Certainly not at the liquor store which is good!

                NS Quote: Thoughts don't = cravings. That made me think of how much I do act on my thoughts --not just with al but with lots of things. It's ok to have these thoughts, then try and dismiss them. I act on too many thoughts and it gets me into trouble. Saw the woman perform the Frozen song on the Oscars. Nice.

                Night, and be safe, Ava!
                Sometimes what you're most afraid of doing is the very thing that will set you free.

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                  Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

                  Hi Loamers,

                  J-Vo - I literally laughed out loud at your comment. It's either in the gutter or my libido is finally making a return appearance. That would be nice.

                  Ava - girl we will miss you tons. We'll do our best to keep the Gazette rolling but it won't be the same until you return. Safe travels, fun time, use sunscreen. alm:

                  Interesting note - I "retired" early last August. My previous employer has asked me to come back on a consulting basis. Probably short term (2-3 months) but I figured a good way to keep busy and get paid. Plus, I'm excited to see my own performance after 70 day AF -- BIG change after being hungover for work for so many years. Hoping to really rock it!

                  Singing off before this crappy internet connection goes down. Will be so glad to get home Saturday or Sunday. Moms doing good and she's okay with me leaving this weekend - thankfully it's only a 3-hour drive so I can come back pretty quick if needed.

                  Have a fabulous day/night everyone.
                  Mary Lou

                  A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty. Winston Churchill

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                    Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

                    Hi, All:

                    Why, Ava, you brought tears to my eyes - that was very sweet, and very true. I agree with the feelings of being lost at the thought of not being able to check in here. We will certainly miss you - your honest Gazettes make me laugh, wonder, cry, all of it. As I said in the nest, I truly don't want to have to come down there to break your neck, so you better not drink (I don't think you will at all, but it had to be said...)

                    Dot - That's how I felt yesterday. I could barely get off the couch to put food on my kids' plates. I DO feel better today, although I did make a pact with myself to get off my computer earlier so I can get a better night's sleep.

                    NS - That Brene Brown talk was great. I agree that numbing the bad also means numbing the good. Learning how to deal with all of the more intense feeling is most definitely a part of this journey.

                    MyLuck - Only a sentence, but thanks for stopping in. Good to see you.

                    Marylou - Hee hee. I read that that way, too.

                    SL - You made it a calendar month! How long until your record is broken? We'll have to have a party without Ava - won't be as much fun but we'll manage.

                    Nar - That Avicii song will always make me thing of Ava with a smile! So funny that we DO know so much about each other, and yet so little.

                    J-Vo - What a great FINAL Day 1 you had. :l So much destruction left in my home town from alcohol as well. Someone started a facebook page, and it is all pictures and RIPs. Very sad. Thank goodness we're finding our ways out! Strength to you.

                    LB - How are you today? You are sounding nice and relaxed lately - how's the garden? How is your step daughter getting on away from home?

                    Jane - Hope you're in a better mood - get back on that bike to chase the PMS bitchiness away! When are you coming home? You're a good waffler, too!

                    LC?? We miss your usual chipper post today. I hope you are ok and having a great day.

                    OK, everyone - I am going to eat with the family and then stay off MWO for a night. Wish me luck!

                    xo
                    Pav

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                      Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

                      Good luck Pav.
                      Good to see you Myluck.
                      Ava I am waiting to hear about what you are doing on vacation.
                      J-vo I saw on the gratitude thread youvare thankful for another chance. I am grateful you are giving yourself another chance.
                      Marylou I hope you mother is alright. Thinking of you.
                      NS I think the problem with numbing emotions for so long is that they become so bottled up and then break loose at the oddest times. I know I am still dealing with that fallout, but I will take the lows and the highs. Laughed so hard with my daughter this weekend. So wonderful to really feel Happiness again. And sorrow. To really feel.
                      Jane I hope you found some wonderful shells. I thought about you shelling today.
                      The garden is coming along. I have to keep reminding myself I am not feeding the world, just trying to have some fun. I do tend to over do things.
                      No matter how far you go or how fast you run, you can't get away from yourself. ....said at an AA meeting. It stuck with me.

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                        Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

                        Jane - still dying to hear about a shelling cruise!
                        Pav, hope you get some rest and feel on the up again - it seems so true that alcohol numbs everything and learning to deal with feelings is hard - I know that I felt as if everything would be great if I gave up drinking, and was so disappointed when it was not so...
                        40 days today - 2 more and then old record broken....
                        Mary - that is a compliement - and some nice pocket money??
                        J-vo - I was once complaining about my cravings when it was pointed out it was yearnings, not cravings and what a difference that felt - I get desires, cravings, wants and wishes that were so different to the cravings that I had to white knuckle thru
                        Nar - love sate too - made my imitation sate sauce for girls supper tonight!
                        Ava - Bon Voyage....
                        “The only courage you will ever need is the courage to live the life you want"

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                          Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

                          lb I cant wait to get started in the garden..but I wait until Mothers day to plant, at least that is the rule of thumb here in Ohio but if it stays warm I might just start early. My favorite garden store opens tomorrow...going to plant more greens this year for my smoothies and might try some new ones too. mmmmmm
                          Dottie

                          Newbie's Nest

                          Tool Box
                          ____________
                          AF 9.1.2013

                          Comment


                            Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

                            Yum, I wish I could come over for supper SL!
                            40 days soon, Whoa! Your going to do that, no problem!

                            Good luck Pav staying off MWO! We won't cross post tonight. Enjoy dinner.

                            LB, that garden sounds wonderful. We still have snow on the ground. It's starting to warm up here. Today we went up to -3!

                            J-Vo, I agree with you. I have thoughts of drinking but I don't know if I would call it a craving. I'll just keep pushing those darn thoughts away.

                            Jane, hope your feeling better.

                            Xo
                            Narilly

                            "Nothing in this World Can take the place of Persistence"
                            "You can have the life you want OR you can Drink"

                            AF April 12, 2014

                            Comment


                              Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

                              Well i am still here and i think i have everything packed. Had a lovely lunch with Kiera today and she trimmed my hair which was great. i do get so teary when i have to leave them and god they are all grown ups but they know what i am like. They had to peel me off them. Maddison is now with Mia and she is sending me pics on how happy and settled she is. She was not going to give me kisses though when i left her with Mia but Mia did.

                              I will miss you to NS but it is only for a couple of days, one if i can get to an internet. oh they have them at airports dont they. You cant therefore get away from me. We get four weeks holidays a year and i get 150 hours sick leave as i work in the healthcare industry.

                              Dot i hope you are out of your funk day and tomorrow is a better one.

                              Nar i know i will be in contact but god i am constantly on here so it will be withdrawals big time.

                              Jvo i am a sook, plain and simple but a happy sook.

                              Pav you wont need to find me to break my neck, i have no intention of drinking and if i get one single urge that stays with me for longer than 20 mins i will be on here for sure. Im actually looking forward to my first af holiday.

                              SL 40 days, woo hoo and good on you. You can get over that 42 days for sure, no problems, piece of cake, doable, enjoyable and something to be totally proud of.

                              LB you so made me laugh when you said about feeding the world. When i do my juicing i get so carried away buying fruit and vegetables i am sure i could open up my own juice stand outside the house. We never do anything in halves do we?

                              Well my lovelies, up at 4am tomorrow, plane does not leave till 8am but i want to get to the airport before peak hour starts as then you never know what will happen and there is no way i am going to miss this flight.

                              keep up the good work and if you all stay sober then i certainly will also. xxxxx
                              AF free 1st December 2013 - 1st December 2022 - 9 years of freedom

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                                Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

                                Be safe, Ava.
                                Sometimes what you're most afraid of doing is the very thing that will set you free.

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