Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

MAE, All:

SL - Thanks for the post. The one about enjoying the detour got me! My husband is always saying "enjoy the journey" because I get tense when we're not where we're "supposed" to be, on time. That is a good reminder.

NS - Hope the party went well. I have a hard time with the small talk sometimes, but I haven't been to one of those really boring parties where everyone is slightly drunk and taking loudly in your ear with wine breath yet. You are DEFINITELY not the boring one...

LC - I was that daughter - I got picked up on close sleepovers and got homesick at camp, but because of those feelings and the belief that I didn't want them to control me, I ended up being the one who wandered the longest and farthest as I was growing up. I will be good for her to see herself make it through something like that (even though I now it was hard for you!)

J-Vo - You sound great! We have similar lives - dedicated to child sports. I spent about 6 hours in baseball bleachers today watching my kids play. I love it, but it is a bit sedentary for me to spend TWO games in one day. Have to plan a run or walk in between next time (if I can ever run again with my gimpy knee. Not that I ever really "ran" per se, more like a slow and steady jog, but I digress).

Jane - Movie reviewer in your future. I think that sounds like alcohol, and like the parable of a lot of classic literature. What you thought was a perfect world turns out not to be - turns out to have hidden horrors just like the rest of life... That's the funny thing about life - there are so many stories of dysfunction and alcoholism here, but you know what - they're everywhere. We're a weird species.

Ava - What a tragedy. It sounds like you tried your best and in the end it is on your brother. I have a friend (very together, happy, healthy) who married a guy who ended up being basically paralyzed by his shitty father. I had many conversations with him about how I thought he was making a choice to let the father who ruined the first part of his life also ruin the second part of his life. But he can't get over it. My own father had a very shitty childhood with alcoholism and abuse and his brother turned into an alcoholic abuser while he is a model of love and (mostly) happiness. I wonder what it is that turns one person one way and allows another person (like you, Ava and Jane) to escape?

Star, R4L and TMH, I hope you're still with us and hanging on. This sober life is really worth it...

xo
Pav

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

TJAF posted these great articles on another thread - about Post Accute Withdrawal Syndrome (PAWS) that usually peaks around 3 - 6 months. It really does seem to account for a lot of what I have been feeling lately. Thanks, TJAF! I posted them in the nest and I'm posting them here...

Why We Don't Get Better Immediately

The Condition Many Recovering Alcoholics Don't Know About

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

J-Vo, Congratulations on your



Keep on going and don't look back!

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Jane - CONGRATULATIONS!



Glad to be with you - and it just keeps getting better!

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Can you tell I'm up earlier than everyone else and have time to mess around finding images online??? Can you guess why I'm the only one awake ! (I just wish I knew where the coffee and coffee maker are here...)

AL really does not do most people any favors - and it makes them so dang LOUD!

However, the food was good and I snuck off to be bed at midnight.

Hope every is having a great Sunday .

[lifechange]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

I'll just latch on to those two lovely banners of congrats to j-vo and Jane!!!!:rockband:
Adding a bit of music! So happy and proud of both of you.

Glad the evening went well, NS! and that you are up and at 'em so early on a Sunday. I've just invited the army gang over for some peach cheesecake and coffee, if you're in the mood. Sugar free, of course!
Will check in with you all later.. xoxo

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

NS, thanks for the cool banner! Yes, last day 7 and moving on and up! Glad you made it through the party. Did you find anyone half interesting to talk to? Glad the food was good! What do you wear to these functions? I've never been to a party like that, but if I did, it would be a great excuse for a new outfit. Being a teacher and DH a warehouseman, our x-mas parties and such never got better than a bar/restaurant. I was thinking last night that for our anniversary this summer, I'm gonna get a LBD (little black dress) and go to a fancy restaurant. Yes, because I'll be able to fit into a LBD!!!

LC, aw, daughter...but that's so normal. I can't tell you how many times Taylor had friends over and it ended in the parents coming to get their son. Normal part of growing up, and like someone said, at least you were sober and able to get her if needed! Thanks for the congrats!

SL, I will risk being found out, too. I don't think it matters to me much anymore, and frankly, I think most people knew but never said they knew about my drinking problem. They would be happy for me, and if not, then they aren't worth my time. I was also thinking, that i like the reason, "I don't have an off switch." Read into what you will, that's what I will give if anyone ever tries to dig further than they should. My close friends and family know, so MYOB after that statement. Thanks for that post with the message of not carrying burdens throughout the night. This is where deep breathing before sleeping works well. Let it go with your breath.

Ava, I just want to hug you after reading your post about your brother. I don't know what to say except you did what you could for him, and I'm glad you've come to peace with it. I love you, Ava.

Pav, oh, I know so well about double headers, never-ending tournaments! I can't say I made it to all of the games in my heavier drinking days, but most. That's one regret I have. Just one. But the thing is, now I can see all of the games, and that's really important to me. DS is playing varsity for the first time and doing really well. I think he's going to have a great chance at a scholarship to college for baseball. I'm so proud of him and how he's so disciplined! Good luck to your son this season! Thanks for the articles.

Getting ready for Church, then going to wash my car inside and out! It's going to be 60 and sunny so looking forward to this day. Last night gave myself a pedi and I have the prettiest feet! Well, slight exaggeration, but it feels good to be ready for open-toed shoes! Have a great day ladies, and I'll check in later.

[scottish lass]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Quick check in from my bed to say congrats to j-vo and Jane! So happy when anyone meets a good point - shows we are all moving forward!
Got to get up to do the running kids around stuff! Trying to get my head in gear. Had a heck of a drinking dream last night that ended with me trying to work out how to let you know. Really has me all upside down this morning :upset:
Will read back and check in properly later

[giraffe1234]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Pavati, thanks a million for the links to PAWS info - most informative. I didn't know about this at all. Reading it was a sobering eye-opener! The inability to think clearly, emotional overreaction and especially the rigid repetitive thoughts: that's me down to a t.

And all the time I was thinking I should have been functioning so much better now - but I wasn't really. Which of course led to sneaky thoughts that MAYBE I wasn't really an alkie and didn't drink that much, and that maybe I might as well have some wine over weekends...
Omw, and there was the answer all along - I'm a textbook PAWS case study.
Thanks again, I'm going to take my time and read the whole lot.
xox to all, hope you had/have a lovely weekend.

[giraffe1234]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

J-Vo and Jane - congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!

[ToMyHealth]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hello again. I'm trying to decide if it is ok to post here. Then I read on the front page where it says your goal is your own, long term or short term. And you have all been welcoming, thank you for that!

NS - I really enjoy your straightforward posts. That is the kicker, can't decide if total AF is what I want. I do know I want to be healthier. You hit it on the head re: 75% of time I do pretty well. Then there are those days when it's awful!

JVO - 7 days is awesome! The most I ever get to is 14 days which I do quite often (qtrly). Sure it's the fact that I never quite commit. I know you are on path to have this your last 7th day and good for you! Your concept of picking certain nights is a good one, and I do half heartedly attempt that. I do need to be more firm. Example: Tues this week is our neighborhood golf tournament and after golf barbecue/party. Thursday is our Pairings Party for Fri-Sat golf tournament. Sat nite is Champions Dinner/Dance. Last fall won our flight so it will mean going forward to receive a trophy. Ah, decisions.

Hi LC - did I see you just reached 30? Congratulations! What is major difference in Weeks 3 & 4? Do you start to sleep better?

Pav - I know if I could just bite the bullet, I'd agree with you, AF is the way to go.

Jane - YAY - 90 days! Awesome!

People below us (condo) are only here 1 week a year. We noticed their car sticker said they were leaving today. Evidently, they've been shopping. Midnight -pound, pound, pound - hanging pics. Ugh! So I was up reading on here for a couple hrs. When I got back to bed had vivid dreams. Think it was the Mexican food. Or could it be MWO? Overslept for church.

OMGosh, you guys are so right about talking it out. I have made my decision. This week I am going to stay AF until dinner/dance. And come that day I may choose to keep it going, but it's a start. Feels good.

TMH

[scottish lass]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Waiting for daughter to get ready.
That dream has really thrown me for a loop - feel hungover todaywonder where it came from???
TMH - this thread is for ladies on a mission to be AF, sometimes we take the long road, or the twisted road, and even the long road, but I believe we are all here for the same goal. Just now I cannot say forever, it does not work - it is ODAT, but it is AF. You have been here the same amount of time that I have, I am wondering if it is time for yuou to decide? It seems that your indecision is more work than moderating or becoming AF? Don't bite the bullet - don't think too hard, don't make the final choice - just make one choice - today I will not drink - today stays with us and that way you will start to rack up the days and feel the benefit that we are feeling. How about putting the period after this sentence "This week I am going to stay AF ." and forget the "until....."
j-vo, my worry about being "discovered" was a professional one rather than a personal one - sometimes it woudl be good if all my contacts outside work knew, I would not need to make excuses, but I do worry about work and what that could mean for me - it could be a very big problem....

[roxane]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Jumping back in feet first.

Sugar? I am in the camp that takes it to beat cravings, small amounts mind. No sugar rush for me, no thanks.

If you will bear with me I will try to vent, rant, rage and possibly count my blessings on here.

I may be self indulgent, but ignore if you like. I need to get it out there even if I have to force myself. Have no real life support and tend to internalise, so.

Erm, so.

[scottish lass]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Go for it Roxane - whatever it takes.....I have often said that I am being selfish here, but if that is what it takes to be AF, then so be it!!
Looking forward to you ocunting your blessings with us - and the venting, ranting and raging are a given:H

[roxane]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Thanks SL, I'm bad at it but I will try.