Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

J, you sound really strong - like some confidence is growing. And it should be!

I do continue to worry about what others think, but something in me is changing. I feel as though it's not as intense as it was. I don't want to jump to any conclusions, but I do recognize changes in myself.

:l NS

[little beagle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

J-vo you are sounding good. You have really helped me overcome some of my emotional roadblocks. This topic we are currently on is one of them. I am going to try to start thinking before I speak. Not always easy when you aren't really sure what's going to come out of your mouth. :H
Narilly communication between hubby and I is getting a lot better. With no al in the way we really seem to hear each other better. But still I have to speak differently to him. I illustrate things a lot. Almost like telling stories. The other night after getting rescued we talked about the issue. I am working on this issue, trying to find my way. I told him it's like I'm trying on different pairs of shoes. I just haven't found the pair that fits yet. I don't know if that makes sense, but he's hard to talk to. It's really getting him to listen. I have to be interesting. Not be so intense all the time.
And now I am waffling. A page out of your book Ava. Boy I could use a massage. That's what I am envious of. :l
Jane I sympathies with you over MIL. Yeah. That's all I can say right now.
TMH I hope you had a good day. Jyst not drinking always makes my days better. I enjoy things more.
Roxy, SL glad to see you.
Have a good night all.

[scottish lass]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Nutty Day - still at work....too many meetings again, and not enough time to do the work. Would have been a huge trigger for me, but feel ok today - really feel as if some old habits have been broken and new ones kicking in...
Will read back when I get the chance, but hope all are doing just hunky-dory!

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi, all:

LB - did I miss something? What did you and DH get rescued from??

Funny the conversation was about judgment today. I went to my shrink today and we were talking about how I am mad at myself and consider myself weak for "letting" this problem with alcohol happen to me. What? We talked about the fact that using that judgmental tone with myself probably (definitely) meant I used it on other people - such as DH. It was good to think about and remember that I should be as non-judgmental with others in my life as I am with myself. That might look like what Narilly said about your MiL, Jane - she might just want to be closer to you? That might be for your DH, LB? Your workmates, J-Vo?

Don't get me wrong - I'm not saying there aren't a$$holes in the world, but maybe we can give them a wider berth and focus on being kind for a bit - including to ourselves. Positive contributions!

SL, I had the same experience today - a long and BS day at work, a lot of tension and strife - normally a sure excuse for a drink, and I didn't want one. Feels so great!

If anyone hasn't seen LC's Slomo video, I highly recommend it. Really great.

Tonight my son was singing a song over and over and over. Finally he played it for me. Who is this, I asked. He said, "Avicci. You know that guy who sings that song... so wake me up...." I had a good snort on that one. I will forever associate Ava and Avicci, as I hope you will always associate me with the Thanksgiving Massacre.

Hope all is well in Loam land. Have to pop over to a couple of other threads and then call it a night.

xo
Pav

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Avicci, Thanksgiving Massacre, lol! I should have a name for my last drunk. I gave my son a lecture about pot and then passed out. I did not get out of bed till 3pm. It was awful. Totally wrecked my weekend.
I don't ever want to do that again.

Pav, no cross post tonight!

I will be 50 on April 24 J-Vo. I will definitely not be drinking AL that night.

Goodnight

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Xpost Sweet Jane. Have a great sleep xo

[scottish lass]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Nite Nite, sleep tite good friends, not reading back, got to do some chores then fall to sleep - on call tonight, and its shaping up to be a busy one, so got to sleep when I can.

Nar - AF 50th - do it! I had big plans for a quiet AF 50th two years ago - did not work out, and I regret it - let my ex get the better of me and felt sorry for myself...gonna have an AF 52nd BD instead I am stronger than him this time! Looking forward to that party - with all of us and BD's, meeting goals etc we could have so many parties! :H

[roxane]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

thanks for the discussion, very interesting.

[available]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hello my gorgeous lovely loamers

Well it was a hard day today. Breakfast followed by a lay on the sunbed (which is in the shade) for a facetime with my daughter then off for a full $18 body massage with vitamin E oil for an hour and a half. OMG heaven on a stick. even mum had one and she did not think they would massage her boobs. I just laughed, she really enjoyed it and the thai girls were fasinated by her boobs. i told her they had never seen such long ones, oops. We then had lunch and a smoothie and back to the room to have a nap. Then an iced coffee and a swim where i actually did laps though the chlorine is a killer and now sitting having a coke and on mwo. I did have a thought while i was having a shower that a wine would be heaven after it and to just sit and relax after a hard day relaxing but i just smiled and shook my head as i do and that was it. Why fark up 130 perfectly great sober days for one wine which will lead to several wines which will lead me back to the pit of despair. I am lucky that i can come on mwo for a read up and also that mum is not drinking, not that i would drink if she was but it is so much easier and when she drinks she is very opinionated which is where i have to learn to think before i speak.

Everyone sounds great and really at the end of the day girls its all about my holiday lol. I did imagine us all on the massage beds today and NS telling us to shut up so she could enjoy her massage, you all do seem to put a smile on my face.

Nar and Jane when i first married my ex she hated me as i had two children not to him and she was of the opinion that i was lucky i had found someone that would accept my kids. oh the feeling was mutual but my FIL was diagnosed with a brain tumour and died after 3 months and i was there to look after him when she went out and to help her after his funeral. we formed a very very close bond after that.

Nar i thought you would be very vocal being an ex porn star or just good at moaning? lol. I wont forget that one in a hurry lovely. Hope you meeting went well with the Ahole. I am so not missing my Ahole of an office manager at all but i am sure he will have plenty to say about how i run the department when i get back, i will listen and keep doing exactly the same thing i have been doing for the past 6 1/2 years. Your bday is 4 days after mine, i can see this being a long long 50th for us both, being ex alkies we like to party before it begins. Lecture on pot and passing out, classic one that! I think i have done exactly the same thing but i probably had a joint with my kids then passed out or they put me to bed.

Oh Pav you are a dear, Avicci, never live that down and dont really want to, he helped put me on the straight and narrow eventually and i still love that song and i did wake up when it was all over, on the floor but......I am learning not to be as judgemental like you also, i am trying not to judge mum as at the end of the day she is my mum, she is old and she loves me, i know that now by her actions and how happy she is with me. Words are words but actions speak louder than words.

LC how is it going with your step son? Any improvement in his behaviour or still want a brick sent to you? Are you blonde? i was thinking of you today without constipation and wondered what colour hair you have. for some reason i think of you as a blonde (not a dumb blonde).

Rox reading sober is so much better isnt it? I used to read a few pages or one line over and over again and not remember a damn word the next day, consequently i gave up reading. Your going well girl.

Jvo i used to care what everyone thought and worried myself to anxiety until i was not drinking then i didnt worry at all. they were all against me but the al made me feel that that was ok. Obviously no one was against me but it felt like it. Now i actually listen to what people say and give my opinion, maybe not all rationally but i am trying. You keep yourself as number 1 priority atm until you are at least 100 days and then think about DH, he isnt going anywhere.

Dot i am so glad Mad is fitting in and has a friend. today i facetimed my son and he bought my shitzu to the screen so i could say hello, it was so funny as Pop could hear me but that was it. she looked sad. The boys dog Tyson jsut started barking as he could hear my voice but had no idea either. I do miss my puppies, kids not sure but puppies yes.

LB i could imagine you would want to kill hubs but yes we all get so angry sometimes so quickly and yep he was sound asleep bless him. Glad he understood, well understood as far as men do. I look at the couples over here holding hands and doing things together and i miss that but i dont know if i could put up with one full time. not the same holding mums hand.

mary, yes i am having a great time with mum, its very easy going and relaxed. she is as deaf as a post and broke one of her hearing aids so that is making it a tad harder for me and she appears ignorant to people but i tell them she is deaf. i love it when i say something and she smiles and nods and i say "you didnt hear that did you", she says nope. before that would have frustrated the hell out of me.

NS totally agree about posting on here and thinking about what i posted especially when i was a newbie. I reread a post a million times and now you guessed it i dont check what i have done as i know that whatever i put in writing you girls will know it is not hurtful or spiteful in any way and if it is i am sure you would tell me.

SL you are sounding great. how many nutty meetings would you have had previously and gone home to drink. i didnt even need a meeting to drink, just 4.30pm gave me ample excuse.

Jane i hope you are feeling better today. Pencil in and tell me how you are feeling? Your mil sounds like a dear! Yes that is sarcasm in a high form, i am known for being very sarcastic. You must have the patience of a saint.

well this was only going to be a short post but obviously not. Getting dark here and thinking of having room service. Maybe should not have had a big iced latte and piece of large carrot cake at 3pm.

Love you lovelies and chat soon. xxxx A big hello to anyone that i have missed, i did only go back three pages.

[little beagle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Quick check in this AM. Off to work. Have a good one all.

[giraffe1234]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi LB; hope work was ok. I had a hectic day; going home in 20 mins.
Available - your holiday sounds amazing! Omw! And I know exactly that feeling of how nicely a glass of wine would be just the perfect thing. I'm also going to shake my head like you do. Had a good chuckle at that.
Hope you all have a lovely day.
Ps: Narilly; I've been following your (career) moves with great interest
xox

[lifechange]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

HI! Loamers,

After a busy day at work, it's been so nice to read over the rest of yesterday's posts. I also love the discussion and am once again amazed at the things we have in common. We have at least as many similarities as we do differences, don't you think.?

LB, I also missed what happened and tried to go back and have a look-- but we are wafflers here and I couldn't find the page.. It sounds like you are ok now, though. I am wondering if it another similarity we have (most women for that matter), the switch we have to make to communicate with our DH, BF, etc. Would it be the same if our significant other was a woman? Or is it more a matter of having to be more careful with the person you live with? Anyway, I'm glad it's getting better for the two of you.

j-vo, I really liked your last post, about being in the present and focussing on the other person instead of on yourself and what you want to say next. I actually think that is something most people could work on-- not just us!! But all we really have to do is try to make ourselves the best we can be. I have noticed that usually when I am happy with myself, genuinely happy because I am living my life as I truly see fit, things fall into place--

Ava!! you sound fab! and I'm so glad to hear your mom is playing along. Wasn't very nice, the comment about the longest boobs.. but maybe she didn't hear you!! I am a brunette-- did I never send you a pic.? had meant to. But I have streaks (or maybe more!) of gray and my dilemma is whether or not I should colour. All the army ladies say YES! but I don't really want to. I want to be ok with how I look for my age!!-- I wasn't blessed with the lucky no-gray genes.

Roxy!! going to bed to read last night-- sounds like bliss.. or am I exaggerating? Are you reading anything you can recommend?

Jane, in case you're still interested, here's the slomo-- basically about a guy who realised midlife what he really wanted to do..

Slomo - Video - NYTimes.com

hugs and love to Pav! (are you travelling now? I am still confused..), Dot, NS, Marylou, TMH, Nar, SL--hang in there girl. you've got so much on your plate at the moment-- it has to get easier soon!!, and WELCOME to anyone lurking! and Humble, how are you? and Moss and Ican??? Stop by and show your lovely faces..:h

[lifechange]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Giraffe-- xpost:l

[available]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Just a quick footnote, not that i need to add anything after that long winded post.

Mum suggested we went out for dinner, i really didnt want to go after the al thought today, best to stay inside and hide is my opinion. She promised oysters so i thought why not. Well she had a blue lagoon and i had a Cinderella whatever that was but non al but damn i missed my friend tonight. i wanted to be normal and have one. Fark it i was sad, i'm not going to drink but damn al to hell. I think i felt left out. I mean i had no pressure, i could have had a drink, i would not have listened to mum at all and i didnt drink but i was sad and angry. Now i am in bed and im fine, i was fine out but for the above feelings. I do hope they piss off now and leave me alone please and thank you. I'm just saying how i feel to let you girls know that be aware. I was not hungry, angry, lonely or tired, more like sated, energetic, xtatic, elegant and dressed (SEXED) ha ha Linda joke.

Girafffe you made me chuckle about following Nars career, wonder what else she was in a previous life. i'm sure all sordid details will be revealed.

Terrible about the knifings in the US, we Aussies find this so hard to believe as we dont have guns or knives like over there. We dont have people going into schools, Universities, malls etc killing strangers. I really dont get it and it is so sad. Luckily no one was killed or so i have heard.

Ps: I still feel very empowered not drinking on this holiday.

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

available;1646934 wrote: I think i felt left out. I mean i had no pressure,Are you telling me you didn't feel the pressure from here :H:H:H?

i could have had a drink, i would not have listened to mum at all and i didnt drink but i was sad and angry. Now i am in bed and im fine, i was fine out but for the above feelings. I do hope they piss off now and leave me alone please and thank you. I'm just saying how i feel to let you girls know that be aware. I was not hungry, angry, lonely or tired, more like sated, energetic, xtatic, elegant and dressed (SEXED) ha ha Linda joke.

You truly felt all that but you didn't escape those feelings of being sad and angry by saying Hey I'm in Phuket so PHUKET!

You just got another notch in your AF belt, you sexy, elegant lady you! :goodjob::
I still feel very empowered not drinking on this holiday.