Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[Eloise]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Wow, great thread. Thanks for suggesting it J-vo, much appreciated.
Doing fine over here actually. I was also tempted earlier to hit an internet cafe tonight to 'see if I can get wifi' .... haha... translation - whoopie then I will be in a bar and of course I'll have wine!
Nope. Staying in.
Got on here at home instead of at a bar. Annoying I can't use my iPad, but that is fundamentally nonsense.
And no mulled wine today either. No interest. Taking nothing for granted, however, and good to see I am not the only one out there with these thoughts. Strength to us all!

Day 5 tomorrow and then sometime next week things should get a little easier. Early days I am in. And I am back in the kitchen cooking again, good news!

[HumbleRider]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi Star! Just the fact that you are here says a lot about this particular day 1. We are rooting for you, may we always be 50 days apart! Hugs.

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

MAE Pretty Ladies,

SL, you're getting there ODAT and that's wonderful. Yes, those thoughts are there, but I loved Pav's quote from WIP about the deprivation vs. gratitude mode. We will have struggles with that, but I believe the struggles will lessen with time.

Nar, what a wonderful trip and quality family time! Aw, to spend a lovely few days with your hubby and boys must be awesome. And almost grown boys, to engage in good conversation, play chess, and just relax and enjoy. Super blessed!

Pav, flexing those sober muscles, my dear! I like the breathing technique and thought about your worst hangover. This is the new pathways we must build along the way. It's hard to do when we keep thinking of the "good" Al, but as we remember the "bad" Al more and more, it'll get easier.

Ava, no, we can't have AL in our lives again. We can't ever open the door to him, because we may never be able to close it. Just think of all the bad that could happen, all the bad that did happen when we invited him in. Don't let the door hit you in the a** on the way out!!!!

Humble, that's a hard call, with your former student. Your former students are much older than mine, adults, but depending on your relationship, this may be one you would want to open up to. I know, that as time goes on and we remain AF, people will know that we don't drink. It won't be a big secret anymore, as we're feeling now. In time, we will probably want to scream to the world, "I AM AF!!!" Can you see us girls on a mountaintop doing that! Wouldn't that be fun!

Pav, thanks for WIP's quote. She was an amazing lady, and had so many wonderful tips.

Have a great day all. Going to continue wrapping gifts, including my wine "regift" and go to church this evening. Our Christmas Eve Service is a day early, and I like that. Praying for all of you wonderful women!

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

NoSugar, that's what I learned in CBT. Changing the thought patterns when they enter your mind. Retrain your brain. Our brains have a lot of space to make new pathways, new memories. The key is to be consistent and it does take effort. Lots at first.

Star, glad you posted! And we're here. Not going anywhere. We all know the struggles. Please keep posting, post how you feel, like NS says, being honest and acknowledging true emotions is critical. We're all here for the same reason.

Hi Eloise!! Glad you came! It's a wonderful thread with very caring women here. Day 5 is awesome, especially at this time of the year. Take a read at what Pav posted originally from Work in Progress - the gratitude vs. deprivation mode. It's a great post to reflect on. Again, glad you're here, sista!

[Starfish1]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Thanks, ladies. I am taking it moment by moment, honestly. The day actually began with my husband acting a fool and yelling at me (and it wasn't even related to my drinking!),
and I just had an unpleasant encounter with my mentally unstable daughter, but I am not drinking.
I want to be strong like all of you!

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Star, those darn DH's and mentally unstable children! I know! Feel your pain, honey. But so glad you're not drinking, and glad you're here with us.

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi, Star - Are you hanging in there? Moment by moment is fine. As each moment passes, you are that much farther away from your last drink and into an easier, more satisfying way of living. What is amazing is how fast those moments really do add up! You can do this, Star, and if you're feeling wobbly, please come talk about it first. :l

[available]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hello lovelies

Having a cuppa, number 2 for me, hung the washing out and thinking that shit i have to go and get soft drink and a ham. I bought seafood thinking that would be nice on a hot day and my youngest son does not eat seafood. Damn I had forgotten about him so i am going out into the Xmas eve crowd but i know what i want.

Some great posts today, i love waking up to words of wisdom, it gets my af brain organised for the day. Lots of discussion on our news about al and the dangers and fights and one young person is already in hospital after being king hit and is not likely to live. What does the government do, fucking nothing (oops sorry). Why is al so acceptable yet it kills and destroys so many lives. Sorry my rant for the day.

Humble, Solitary mode sucks, i could not do this by myself, i could talk about giving up al to myself and say i would and could do it but at the end of the day i was lying to myself. Now, here and we are doing so well and such a support to each other. With your friend I suppose it depends on what you want to tell her, i know i have some friends i will do the antibiotic comment with as they just want to make me drink, they dont want me to be different to them but I am. I am a non drinker now. You will be fine. No Day 1's for us anymore.

Pav great post, I dont think this can be posted too many times. I re-read it this morning and I am finally realising I am at the gratitude mode. How i slipped into that one i have no idea but god it feels good. I am not thinking about al constantly, to me it is now just a drink (not saying sometimes i would not like one), I can go to the shops and not want and need to go to the bottleshop section. One of my sons friends who works at a supermarket yesterday said to me when i went in "oh you are coming for wine" and my response was "Max i dont drink remember". Some of the other staff looked at me as i said it pretty loud and i was so proud of myself for saying that. That is gratitude mode for me.

NS hello hello, like you I hope that the quiet ones are just being quiet and busy and if not to come back. Its not a good time of year for us alkies. I was a 5pm drinker and now 5pm comes around and i am usually having a coffee and yes you are right there is no thought of wanting a glass, no cravings, nothing. Its like I have finally become numb to wanting al, that the grieving process is getting non existent and it is a great feeling.

Star welcome, welcome and we have all done so many Day 1's but not us girls anymore. Stick close to us and listen to our rants and downs and happy days and definitely add your own. Its a joy to wake up and read the positive thoughts of everyone.

Jvo, SL, Dot, Giraffe and where is K9? Stop shopping and check in. The madness will be over for me tomorrow. xx

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi, All:

NS, I think you said it just as well as WIP. Goodness knows we can all stand to hear the message about gratitude as much as possible and in as many ways as possible. Thanks for being there for us!

Hi, Star - Good to see you. When I was hating myself and life on Day 1, K9 suggested breaking the day into even smaller chunks. 15 minutes, an hour, whatever it takes. I will not drink for _____ amount of time. I'm glad you came back to check in - believe me there is no judgement here (hard to be judgmental on day 22!). Stay with us and stay strong! We're in this together.

Ava and J-Vo - you sound so strong! Good on you. Did you all see the http://youtu.be/KgRVhBOvHGc[/video]]vid. G posted in the nest? A strong, successful woman publicly admitting to her alcoholism (I wish the interviewer would give her a word in edgewise, but that's another topic).

Hi, Eloise. J-Vo suggested this thread to me, too, and it has helped immensely.

Giraffe - glad you stopped by. How are you doing?

Dottie - haven't seen you in a while. I know you are struggling a bit with all that's going on in your life and household, but you can post here and we'll support you!

Humble - I so far have said "I'm going for an alcohol-free December just to see what it's like." Most people can't believe I have the "strength" to "get through it all" without alcohol. It takes much less strength now that I have convinced myself that drinking is not an option. I don't have to decide every day. When I'm still not drinking in February I plan on saying that I felt so good in December that I kept it going. I hope someday I'll be on that mountain top shouting to the world "I DO NOT DRINK!" but for now it is one day at a time.

Nar - the scene of you with your kids playing checkers instead of drinking without them in a bar hit home for me. As my kids are getting near the experimental stage, I think the more time I can spend with them sober and in sober pursuits the better. I'm sure they'll appreciate the experience greatly. Amazing for you to avoid that bar by the elevator!

I am back from the mall and now have a terrible cough and feel achy and feverish. I am getting in bed but will certainly be back later. Can't say in enough - stay strong!

[Starfish1]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi sweet ladies,

Thanks for checking on me and for the kind, supportive words.
Yes, I have been hanging in, somehow, today. I know if I had not posted this morning, I would have caved.
After work, I had to run several errands to grocery stores, looking for ingredients for my Christmas dinner. I also had to run in a shop to pick up a gift certificate for one of my dtrs and that shop just happened to be located in the same strip as one of my regular liquor stores. Temptations everywhere, but I was able to fight them off.
I am at home now, cooking dinner. The only other obstacle tonight will be that my husband was given a bottle of liquor for Christmas and he may invite me for a drink tonight. It is still unopened (otherwise, I may have already "snuck" some of it.
I will stay strong though, girls. Thanks for the example! I don't drink!

[scottish lass]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi Dear Star - so proud of you for keeping coming back - I know that takes guts!
Just been out and picked turkey - was tempted but not as bad as yesterday thank goodness. Day 40 - got to get through Christmas, then my girls and I are off to teh city for three days holiday - that will be a tough spell.
If I manage to make that one, I am on call all NY week so that will help (not that it has stopped me in the past, but just another tool in my arsenal!)

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Way to go, SL, on 40 days! Rather than say "if" I make it through, what if you say "when" I make it through? I was reading a couple of other thread where some long timers here went ahead and drank - and you know what? Yes, they all regret it, feel sad and feel sick. As I've read here before, you'll never regret NOT drinking.

I know I don't have much to say at day 22 myself, but it helps me type out those words as they are for me as well as for you. Have fun in SF - I know your girls will enjoy it, especially with a sober mother. Have you been to "high tea" at the Fairmont on Union Square. You Brits probably laugh at us for doing that, but we think it is fun! There's ice skating there, too.

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Starfish1;1602296 wrote: I know if I had not posted this morning, I would have caved.So, could you commit to posting each morning? Just knowing that you are going to come on here and tell us you aren't going to drink today might help you seal the deal. Or, commit to the Roll Call. Or PM a friend each morning. Just have a routine that you're reluctant to break.

Starfish1;1602296 wrote: The only other obstacle tonight will be that my husband was given a bottle of liquor for Christmas and he may invite me for a drink tonight.

Surely your husband knows by now how much pain drinking has caused you? He has seen you sober for 2 long stretches and must know that the sober Star is a healthier, happier woman. If he cannot actively help you not drink, could he at least commit to not encouraging you? He really needs to be on your team for this.

In any case, we are :l. Go Star! Rah! Rah! :yougo:

[available]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Eloise good for you that you did not act on the temptation, it gets easier, then the al thoughts come back and its like a bloody merry go round at times but keep occupied and keep posting. Good on you for Day 5. I think the first two weeks are the hardest but you can do it. I posted like a lunatic every time i wanted to drink al, when i thought about al, when i just craved al and that helped immensely.

Pav I will have a look at the vid. I have gotten over that fanatical stage of watching al movies and doco's all day long but it did help immensely but i must not become complacent as we know where that leads. I hope you are not getting sick, horrible time for you guys being winter so stay warm.

Star my mantra is "I will not drink today". Everyday i wake up and say that and check in here and the "roll call" as i love seeing my numbers go up daily. Keep strong, xmas is only another day but with much more stress.

SL Day 40 go girl nothing can stop you now. Who would want to post Day 1 again, not me but i got to day 40 and sadly had to post Day 1 again. Not this time.

NS more words of wisdom, i love your posts. My daughter asked me to get her a bottle of wine for tomorrow and i told her no, it is an af xmas but if she wanted to bring al she could. I love the way she throws the thought at me to see what i will say and to see how determined i am to not drink. I think my children are amazed and stunned actually lol.

One more sleep for me and today I will not drink.

[Starfish1]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

WTG on 40 days, SL!!
And 5 Eloise!
And 22 Pav!
And 1 Star! :H:H:H

Thanks for the challenge, N.S. that's a great idea to post my intentions each morning. It really means a lot to me when I have given my word (to y'all) that I won't drink...I don't know why it never means much when I tell my family I won't drink....maybe I think they have heard it so many times they don't believe it anyway..
No one understands this disease like those afflicted with it, that is why keeping each other accountable works so well, I guess.
And N.S. as difficult as it is to even fathom, no, my husband still doesn't get it. I honestly don't believe he ever will. He likes for me to drink to keep him company, but doesn't like me drinking too much or behind his back...I don't like it either :upset: That's why I'm hangin you you gals!