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    Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

    Nar - I have been reading your and j-vos truths and learning from them.
    I just read what you wrote about Dr Kelly - I will try and get on and listen.
    Doing lots of reading here....I am trying to be proactive - and stopping this before it gets too far down the hill...made a promise to post before and get at least one reply before giving in - not that I am that close, but heard voices yesterday - they must have got in a bit as they are stronger today - so here to switch them off...
    “The only courage you will ever need is the courage to live the life you want"

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      Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

      NS - thank you so much for your PM's and helping me - having a little weep now, tears tasting nasty, so they needed to come out.....
      This thread is so powerful if we use it.
      Thank you my friends, my loamers......
      So glad I put it out there tonight, I feel that tomorrow may have been too late....:l:l
      “The only courage you will ever need is the courage to live the life you want"

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        Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

        Good night, SL and sleep well. :h NS

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          Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

          Night NS and thank you:l
          “The only courage you will ever need is the courage to live the life you want"

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            Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

            Hi, Everyone:

            SL - Are you still there? I think that NS's plan was a great one - look your daughter in the eye and be the person you want to be reflected back - a beautiful sentiment. Really and truly amazing that you posted here first. Stay strong!

            I went for a nice long hike today and during part of it listened to that podcast. Really amazing. I was struck most by the description of how the brain shuts off dopamine receptors because of the "noise" created by alcohol, and it can take a long time free from alcohol until they reopen to normal. Consequently, the period from 90 or so days until 6 months can still leave you feeling not as good as you will eventually feel - the dopamine receptors are still shut down. That explains neurologically some of the funk I have been feeling (even though life without al is already SO much better than with). But the joy and abandon that comes from a good, full shot of dopamine is yet to come.

            There's so much more in that podcast - give it a listen. Nar - I thought of you when the part about this being a process came up, AND when he talked about the fact that relapse is not inevitable. We plan for it, expecting it not to happen (like a fire) but that any amount of more AF days than AL days is progress. It seems the brain will heal by consecutive days free from alcohol, but that the process of becoming totally abstinent can take a while for some. I didn't come her when I first sensed a problem - that was a long time ago. So in a way that has been my journey as well. I am bound and determined to make this one stick!

            J-Vo - Thanks for sharing that story and deconstructing the week - what a terrible way to feel. Now it seems you might have your own Thanksgiving massacre to look back on and remember as a deterrent to drinking again. Hugs to you, dear lady. I know that you are already a spiritual person and a helping person - you were my first PM and you were the one who invited me here.

            OK, enough gushing about the Loamers. This is a POWERFUL group - I am emboldened by your strength and support.

            xo
            Pav

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              Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

              Still here Pav, but safe and tucked up in my bed! NS was a huge help tonight, and mission accomplished!
              This is indeed a powerful group, and we need to use it - I almost didn't as I don't want to be a nuisance, but put my insecurities aside - and lo and behold, it worked!
              Night all - see you tomorrow
              “The only courage you will ever need is the courage to live the life you want"

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                Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

                SL, im glad youre safe now, and i agree with 'using' this group. im the same as in i dont want to interrupt the flow so to speak. its a one way street for me at the moment, im no help at all and feel uncomfortable just 'taking'.

                so, here i am, taking because i need to.

                i wonder if anyone can help me... i have gone to the bubblehour website to download the podcast, but, i could do with a tutorial.

                i have a windows pc and an ipad and iphone. can i download on pc then move to iphone? if so, how? i walk dog alot and thats when i listen to stuff.

                do i need to subscribe? if so, how secure is the site?

                paranoia agogo i know.

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                  Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

                  SL, you did the right thing! I'm glad you're tucked away safely. This thread is making me cry tears of joy right now. Ok, enough of that! Hopping in shower. Have a great morning.
                  Sometimes what you're most afraid of doing is the very thing that will set you free.

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                    Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

                    Hi, Roxy. You can get the Podcasts app on your phone, iPod touch, iPad, etc. The icon is violet with a white lowercase i in the middle. From that, you can subscribe to podcasts. Search for The Bubblehour and select that. There will be an option to subscribe. After you have done that, you can download old episodes. There have been many good ones. I have not heard of any security problems. I have several subscribed podcasts and have never had any problems. Let me know if you have any questions.


                    SL, I would love to see you when you wake up this morning and remember what you did (and didn't do!) last night . It is great that chatting and goofing around happens here because it is fun and because it helps to be friends who are at ease with one another so that the real work of gaining and maintaining sobriety can get done. No one should ever feel like a nuisance or that they are "interrupting".

                    I'm not wishing a crisis on anyone but using this forum and getting through something like you did last night is the whole point. There are all sorts of forums for chatting but not so many for getting AL to shut up and leave you alone. I'm so glad you took the risk and put yourself out here.

                    As you go through the day, think about how so many things would have been different (and worse) or may not even have happened if you'd made a different choice last night. Being very aware of and grateful for those gifts of not drinking are what I think helps rewire your brain (that and the sustained abstinence explained in the podcast).


                    Jane and Pav, thank you :l.


                    Hope you all have a wonderful day!

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                      Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

                      SL so glad you made it through last night. :l
                      NS you are so wonderful to be there. It seems like anytime someone has a problem you are there for them.
                      Roxy talking about things has gotten me through many difficult times. We are here to listen.
                      SD called hubby last night. It's been 3 weeks and already they have lost their place to live. Sigh. I am just not ready to deal with the problems and the lies and the total lack of consideration. Ava I am coming to live with you.
                      No matter how far you go or how fast you run, you can't get away from yourself. ....said at an AA meeting. It stuck with me.

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                        Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

                        NS, SL, wow, that is incredible what you both accomplished last night.

                        Next time I feel myself sliding into that AL mode of thinking, I will definitely be more proactive. I guess I didn't do that this time because I really wanted to drink. I have to figure out how to stomp that voice out or just ignore it.

                        Pav, yes, NS was right, that blog is pretty powerful. He has so many interesting points to make. I will listen to it again after work.

                        SL, I am so proud of you! How awesome it that? I am going to follow in your footsteps and next time do what you did. You probably woke up this morning feeling extra good. Give yourself a big hug girl!

                        Ok, back to rewiring my Brain. I am more commited that ever now. Honestly NS, that podcast really gave me hope because it was based on scientific fact. It gave me more reason to work on days being abstinent and no more thoughts of "oh, I can have one or two". Anyway, who was I fooling with that one? Only me.

                        Lil B, you can come and move in with me, the winters suck but the rest is great!

                        Talk soon,
                        Narilly

                        "Nothing in this World Can take the place of Persistence"
                        "You can have the life you want OR you can Drink"

                        AF April 12, 2014

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                          Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

                          Nar,
                          I'm glad you're getting more focused on the facts. I think knowledge is empowering and bringing awareness to the stigma vs. facts will help the addict and the families of those addicted.

                          SL and NS...:clapping2::cheering::applaud:
                          Sometimes what you're most afraid of doing is the very thing that will set you free.

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                            Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

                            NS, Now that you have been AL free for over a year now. Do you find it even easier to abstain? Does it really get easier the longer you are sober?
                            Narilly

                            "Nothing in this World Can take the place of Persistence"
                            "You can have the life you want OR you can Drink"

                            AF April 12, 2014

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                              Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

                              Narilly, I don't want to jinx anything but it is not hard at all. The struggle has been gone for awhile. And by hanging out here and continuing to learn about the subject, I don't lose sight of what could happen if I drank. So, I don't have a romantic view of it or feel like I'm missing out on anything. It gets easier and easier with time until at some point, it is just no longer part of life. Stick with it through the tough times and you will get there. :l NS

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                                Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

                                little beagle;1649305 wrote: I am just not ready to deal with the problems and the lies and the total lack of consideration. Ava I am coming to live with you.
                                Oh, LB, I wish I knew you in real life and could just invite you to be here for awhile :l. We have too much extra space now and I would love to have such a special person as you here.

                                Do you know for sure they will be returning to stay with you? Would it be possible to start out this time with specific ground rules? Maybe even an informal contract?

                                I've been reading a blog about recovery carriers today. That is what you are, LB.

                                On the blog, Bill Smith says this: Becoming a recovery carrier requires several things. It requires that we protect our recoveries at all cost--Recovery by any means necessary under any circumstances. It requires that we help our families recover. It requires the courage to reach out to those whose lives are still being ravaged.

                                You are helping your family recover and it sounds like that might become an every day, every minute thing again. But please protect yours first.
                                In some ways a year seems like such a long time but really, it is just the beginning of what can be your long, sober life. xx, NS

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