Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Happy 50th Ava!!!! Have a wonderful Birthday!!:h:dancin::loveyou:

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

MAE, All:

J-Vo - taking the stigma away from recovery is also the aim of that movie The Anonymous People. I haven't seen it but the trailer (and that podcast/interview from New Zealand) all talk about the fact that if it weren't for the stigma, more people would seek help for their addiction. Seems logical. NoSugar also posted a blog, and from that blog I followed a link to the blog of a dad who lost his son to an overdose of heroin (I'll go find them after I post this). He writes emphatically that the medical system is not set up to treat addicts as they are judged as moral failures, and that it is their own fault. Alky who posts here writes of checking himself into the ER only to be treated like dirt and released when his BAC was below .08 without any other form of treatment.

I feel as though if I can come clean around here I will help other "functional" professional mother alcoholics find their own ways out. I don't put a label on anyone, but I can say with certainty that there are people I know and hang out with who drink too much for their own health. I just have to look at the reactions when I say I'm "not drinking for now." "Wow. Really? Even on weekends? I don't think I could do that. When I've had a hard day at work and have to come take care of the kids... " I still feel like in my professional life it would be a big liability to admit that I have a problem with alcohol - it would be seen as weak. I still wouldn't want to go to a meeting in my small town. Anyway - baby steps. For sure being here with you all has helped me accept this problem and begin to have clarity and focus on staying sober as a great event in my life. I think meeting in Australia would be wonderful, but I'd have to spend some time at the beach (Ava, I'll get you a nice beach hut so your toes don't get sandy).

I had a great family dinner and actually had that moment of clarity - technicolor clarity - that Byrdie talks about. I was sober, loving the meal, laughing, talking closely with my mom and thoroughly enjoying myself MORE than if I had been drinking. I didn't have to mentally shift my thinking, or make a gratitude list, or fake it. It was pretty amazing. I look forward to more of those occasions.

Yesterday instead of hiking I went out with the boys mountain bike riding. I think we covered 10 plus miles that included over 1,500 feet vertical ascent. My butt is sore, but it was a ton of fun. And it allowed me to have the creme brulee for dessert!

LB - You've been quiet lately. Hope all is well.

Jane? How is the visit with the kids going? How are you feeling?

Moss - Glad you came clean. Doesn't it feel like a relief!?

Ava - Welcome back, and so great to hear about your relationship with your mom. It isn't your birthday here until tomorrow for me, so we'll have an extended celebration as always. So sweet that your kids came to eat pizza and drink tea with you.

NS - Grrr on losing the post, but what you managed to put up was helpful. It is funny that you use the example of kids growing up - I had a nostalgic trip down memory lane yesterday as I uncovered a ton of old pictures of my kids as wee ones. I definitely pine for their cute smallness but am so proud of the nice teenager (yes, I said NICE teenagers (sometimes)) they have become. Great analogy to alcohol, except there is the dark, terrible side to alcohol that kids don't have - even more incentive to feel great about not having it any more.

Nar - Really can't believe your weather. It has been in the 70s and sunny here this week - and the wildflowers are everywhere. Of course, I may have to come to you for drinking water...

SL - Hope you had a great day off however productive or unproductive it was. Unproductive is ok, too!

Happy Weekend, Everyone. Hope you have lovely days. Hope this is enough of a gazette to get Ava going on her own.

xo
Pav

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Here is the blog NS posted: Recovery is Contagious: William White. Lots of good reading there.

And here is the blog about the dad who lost his son: A Grieving Parent. (His own blog is linked at the bottom).

Thanks, NS!

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

There were hard parts for me about having little kids, too, Pav, but like with AL, it is easier to remember and long for the positive parts (good evolutionary idea or who in the heck would have more than 1 child :H?). I have to concentrate to remember what wasn't marvelous about raising kids - to me now it seems like the whole thing was fun and rewarding. Just like with AL, it is easy for me to think, oh, that wasn't so hard... I wasn't bored... I didn't feel that bad every morning... That is why I think it is so important for people to record in excrutiating detail somewhere how bad AL really makes them feel at the moment they are at their lowest. --- time will soften it.

J-vo, I doubt you'd want my brain but the one thing I will say is that I can almost feel it getting healthier. I had no perspective on my situation a year ago. My hope is that with more and more time away from AL, all aspects of our brains can heal.

LB, I love the thread you started today. So this Wed. is 1 Year for you? We'll have to have another fabulous party here!

Off to get outside, loamers! Have a great one. xx NS

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

And the more I get to know and love you ladies, the more I am accepting of this condition. I guess in my mind, I too, am guilty of putting the alcoholics in a "morally failing" category. I felt that way about myself. But now that I know more and more, that's not the case and it lifts a heavy burden off me. To me, you ladies are so wonderful, loving, caring, kind, encouraging, determined with goals, and so much more, and if having this condition means having all of those other positive traits, I can certainly deal with it because I want and am proud to be associated with all of you. It doesn't define us. It's a part of us like someone that has lupus or a food addiction. WE ALL have something! We all have to deal with something. So it's made me less judgmental of others overall.

J-Vo, I feel exactly the same way. You ladies have literally saved my life.

Tonight I am going to the in-laws for supper and just a week ago I was drinking wine there. It's funny because that seems an eternity ago. I really feel that will be the last time I drank AL. I always left the door a teeny bit open, even if I did not want to admit that to myself. Now, I don't have that feeling at all. I really, really hope I keep this mindset, I feel totally empowered thinking the way I do now about AL. A huge part of this is just knowing the science behind the disease and obviously the support from you wonderful ladies. I can't even express how much you have all helped me.

NS, when you read that post of someone with the same Avatar as me, your heart lurched. That means a lot to me. I know how much you care. Makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside

Lil B, looking forward to your one year party!

GUESS WHAT?!!! It is warm and sunny here! Going to +10C, oh boy, celebrating here! Already went for an hour long walk with my Hubs and doggie. We so deserve some nice weather.

Anyway, feeling good today and ready to go to Yoga this aft.

[scottish lass]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Qucik check in - ran errands this am - now off to get my daughter from the airport - stopping for a little shopping with the other one, and dinner - put the green dot on calendar today so that it helps with temptation for wine for dinner - going to get to 60 days by hook or by crook!
Happy BD Ava - enjoy it, you deserve it!

[scottish lass]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

PS - I so agree with j-vo, Narilly and everyone - I was not willing to have a drinking problem or be an alcoholic - I was not like "those" people - being one of this group has allowed me to accpet what it is and therefore to recover. Without the support and group of folks I actually like and admire, I would not be where I am now - you have allowed me to face who I am, and not be ashamed of who that is.....

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Wow, every time I read on here, I get all misty! I think we're all going somewhere! (maybe Australia!)

SL I love your avatar. I bet you're excited to see your daughter!

Nar, have a great sober night at your in-laws. I'm thinking that my MIL's and my relationship has gotten so much better - yep, without Al in the picture...

DH had pissed me off today. Gosh, got into it with him about how he wants to get a negative reaction out of some people. It drives me insane. I got angry to the point of being a complete bitch, then finally acted like a mature adult and told him why it bothers me. He did something similar to me the other day and I lost it on him. Sometimes it takes me acting like a crazy bitch for him to "get" that it's not nice to want to see a bad reaction out of people. Yes, slightly ironic, I know.

Oh well, I never thought about drinking while in that angry state. So hey! That's positive!

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Pav,
Thanks for the articles!

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Gonna watch The Anonymous People tonight!

[Dottie Belle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hello ladies,
Had a good time at a local park today helping with an Easter egg hunt. A group of us from church do this every year....the little ones are the cutest. The parents are a pain but we all survived.
Church tomorrow then to a friends house later for some food. Not sure what I would do without my friends.

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

From the article that Pav posted:

"We all have the potential to be recovery carriers. Becoming a recovery carrier requires several things. It requires that we protect our recoveries at all cost--Recovery by any means necessary under any circumstances. It requires that we help our families recover. It requires the courage to reach out to those whose lives are still being ravaged. It requires that we give back to NET and other organizations that helped us along the way. And it requires that in our new life, we try to heal the wounds we inflicted on our community in our past life."

Protecting my recovery wasn't a top priority for me. I was willing to let it go, for another slip. I did it before, so why not again? Now I feel that I'm gonna protect it with all I've got. Like I'd protect my son from danger or being emotionally hurt. It's that important to me to keep this good feeling, this newfound confidence, peace and so much more. I know I'll never have this if I drink. And it's only the beginning.

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi Dottie!
Oh, I remember the egg hunts! I was the Easter Bunny one year in our neighborhood. I loved running around the kids and seeing their faces light up with excitement. Have a great day tomorrow.

[available]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi loamers

Thanks for the birthday wishes, another year done or nearly. Not sure how i feel about turning 50 but i do know it feels good to be sober and have my children with me. There was a bottle of wine left in the fridge and i asked Mia to take it home, i wont be led into temptation and i looked at that bottle three times. why did it look so good i wonder? If she had not taken it i would have tipped it out. There is bourbon, vodka, beer in the fridge but the one focus was that wine so off it went!

SL its hard to realise that we are alcoholics but there is no shame on here to admit it and it does make everything that much easier to accept once we acknowledge that. As i tell my children their mother is an alcoholic and she cannot ever drink again. I dont think they would go and say that to their friends but if i tell them that is what i am i feel it is easier for them in the long run to fully acknowledge and understand. Now days they do not offer me the ONE wine as they know i cant stop at one. The girls had a glass last night and had two sips and threw it out, i think they did not want to drink in front of me bless them. I told them they could but out of respect we drank our tea.

I still need to read back but i am feeling zonked still. It must be getting older that has made this jetlag so hard to handle. I'm too old for being basically awake for 36+ hours.

I do think its a great idea you all come to Aus to meet, i can laugh at your funny accents as honestly we aussies dont have an accent! One day we will all meet i have to hold that hope as no one else understands us weird and wonderful selves like each other.
xxxxx

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

scottish lass;1651011 wrote: PS - I so agree with j-vo, Narilly and everyone - I was not willing to have a drinking problem or be an alcoholic - I was not like "those" people - being one of this group has allowed me to accpet what it is and therefore to recover. Without the support and group of folks I actually like and admire, I would not be where I am now - you have allowed me to face who I am, and not be ashamed of who that is.....

I agree with you completely, SL. I think it is why I couldn't quite get this done on my own. Thank you all for being here. :h NS