Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[roxane]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

very similar to me then narilly.

only i stopped going to school (age 15) so they didnt tell me anything. not that i would listen.

i have effectively been drunk for 35 years give or take 4 years once, days here and there and once, 1 month! not a good track record and is deeply ingrained.

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Rox,
Maybe it is deeply ingrained...of course it is. It's part of your addicted brain right? You can still do it Rox. Lets keep on this path together.
They say that even if you do not have continuous sobriety, every time you quit it makes a difference. Maybe you can work on lengthening the quit times. Keep on working on lengthening thos times and they will get longer and longer. Drinking less will help. Eventually you will have the will or the power whatever you call it, to quit for good.
All you can do is try!

[roxane]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

This year I've had 40 days I think. 2003ish I did a month consecutive days. I'm heading the right way, but it's painful slow. Seems like I'm girding my loins for a big one.

[roxane]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Btw, congrats on 16 !

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Thanks Rox,
40 days this year is excellent. Lets try and make it more days between relapse, ok?

Don't drink today. You can send me a message anytime and we can talk. It is painful, 16 days and it seems like a year! This time I feel different though, lets start adding our days up.

[roxane]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Lol nar, it's 8.30pm here so well past my witchy time.

40 days is better than none but it ain't great.

Thanks for the offer, same to you.

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi, Everyone:

WOW - busy today. I read while I was eating lunch today but couldn't post.

Roxy - I joined in October 2013, but I lurked here for years, a sure sign that I was due to quit for a while. I honestly took forever to actually admit that I had/have to stop the madness. I remember saying, fully hungover, I have to get my drinking under control so I don't actually have to quit. Oops. I know it feels like you have to gird your loins, but in all honesty I had to gird my loins to KEEP drinking. What a lot of work that was - trying to overcome anxiety, depression; figuring out how to keep drinking; counting drinks; making and breaking rules for myself; etc., etc. As Narilly points out, taking that endless decision making process OFF the table was a huge relief. Loins ungirded! You can do this, keep posting here if you feel like drinking. Ava will be awake to walk you through the night...

Nar - Your weekend sounds so wonderful. What a weight off your shoulders to finally have that conversation off your plate and over with. I'm glad she came around, and I'm glad you had fun. I agree with NS that you sound very positive and ready to hit 100 days (and beyond!)

SL - I survived. The weather actually ended up being perfect and we had a great (if exhausting) day. My son (younger) turned 12, and I really like his friends. My DH is such a great parent partner and fully helped me deal. It was a lot of fun. And I LOVE arugula - glad you clarified for me what rocket is. Nice to have a bi-cultural member of this thread!

LB - Hope your tests come out ok. I struggled a lot before MWO, too. If I'm honest (which is becoming easier for me), I have always had a problem with alcohol. I have had bouts of drinking too much (to the point of embarrassment and/or blackout) since high school, although they were quite few and far between after college. My drinking started becoming a noticeable problem for me about when that 12 year old was born, although I think I seriously started thinking about it about 5 years ago (still in denial that I could moderate if need be). SO happy to be off that treadmill!

NS - YOU lost a post? How did that happen? Thanks for sharing those threads. I love reading all of them. I'm going to have to get MWO search tips from you some day.

J-Vo - You sound so upbeat as well. When is school over for you? Any summer plans? We'll have to get our heads together for structure this summer!

Jane - Yes, how DID we get things done? I spend a lot of time here on MWO now, but I have so much more time and motivation to do other things around the house. There are two major things I have been putting off for years that are now done - what a relief! So happy you're feeling better. My DH gets his blood checked soon, we'll compare notes...

Dottie - you are such an active person, I know it must be very challenging for you to be stuck in bed. Take care of yourself, and I hope you get out soon... The last time I was stuck in bed I watched all of season 2 of Downton Abbey (no spoilers, ladies, I still haven't watched seasons 3 and 4). It was actually kind of nice for one day, but I get antsy, too.

Ava, Ava - What a bummer to be sick for so long. I wonder how it is going to feel for you to get back to work with your a$$ of a boss when you are finally able. Weird to remember that you're heading in to winter - I am so thankful that it is lighter and warmer here. I think I might get some form of that seasonal affective disorder (SAD) where I get depressed from lack of sunlight. Although your 150th is nearly over for you, it hasn't begun for me (my own 150th being 2 days away still). AND, I'm so happy that we won't drink TOGETHER.

A huge trigger for me is beer at a baseball game (not little league, although I have certainly been guilty of being among the parent drinkers in the stands at those, too. Fortunately, that has been squelched by the league). I actually felt my mouth water when I saw one being poured. It just took my playing that one beer forward to re-direct my thinking, and there is no way I am giving up going to baseball games. Ultimately it feels great to have a malted or some french fries instead (more empty calories, but not alcohol), and it feels good to not have a headache as I am heading home.

LC! Pat! Daisy! Star! Humble! Acadia! R4L! Come back. Sober is wonderful, no joke.

xo
Pav

[little beagle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Wonderful posts, everyone sounding so posative. I am going to read on those threads awhile.
Have a good night all.

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Evening Ladies,
Way past my bedtime, because I've been trying to figure out technology! I finally did after three days. Not getting into it, but it was great when it finally worked!

Roxy, so glad you're posting. We're all here for you. We've all been around MWO for quite sometime. I joined back in 2008 and lurked prior to that. My history of drinking goes way back to my late teen years. And lots of other recreational things in addition to that. You're here because you want a new life, and you can have it. Believe it's possible, but it's hard. It's really hard to create new habits because you're making conscious decisions to do things and it doesn't seem natural. The more you do these things, the more natural they'll become.

Congratulations Ava, on your 150! Woot! Woot! So happy for you!

It was busy here and I wish I could chat with everyone, but it's going on 11:00 here and need to get up in 6 hours But I can go on little sleep because I won't be hungover. Oh, hated having a hangover on workdays. Totally sucked.

Nar, you sound fantastic and SL!

Pav, the school year ends around the 5th or 6th of June. I love this bunch of kids, so it'll be bittersweet. I'm going on the 8th grade field trip to Washington D.C. May 7,8, and 9. It'll be lots of fun. Nice little get away with crazy, hormonal, nutty kids. Aww! Love it.

Night ladies.

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Pav, funny, my mouth started to water when you were talking about beer at the baseball game! You are sounding great Chicky!

J-Vo, hungover at work....the worst thing ever! I don't know how I survived. You sound great too girl!

NS, thanks for the Links. I will be reading.

Hey lil B! Xo

Well ladies, time to sleep.

Talk to you tomorrow. No AL thoughts here!

[roxane]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

hello craving, i was expecting you.

come and have a sit down. im making coffee, share some with me.

i have some cake, just a little mind.

you cant stay long as i have things to do.

you can come if you want to but i wont have time for you.

see you again sometime no doubt.

[DreamThinkDo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

roxane;1654960 wrote: hello craving, i was expecting you.

come and have a sit down. im making coffee, share some with me.

i have some cake, just a little mind.

you cant stay long as i have things to do.

you can come if you want to but i wont have time for you.

see you again sometime no doubt.

Brilliant post, Rox! :l:l

[little beagle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

I love it Roxy.
J-vo you sound happy. That trip does sound fun.
Pav congratulations on your 150 days too. Very shortly. I too was doing more work to continue drinking then it was worth. Yuck! Getting off that merry go round was such a relief.

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Great way to think about this, Roxy!

Staying calm even while you have an uncomfortable feeling is great and should help keep it from spiraling out of control. Plus you ate and drank something AF, an almost sure-fired way to send a craving on its way.

That was a great post to wake up to - thanks, and I hope you're feeling fine and proud now :l.

Congrats on 150, Ava!

J, isn't it cool to stay up doing something challenging? I hope I always notice the "extra" hours in the day for doing what I want or need to do.

Pav, I read your post in the NN re:denial. I'm sure I lived in it for years but now I can see that there are several forms - I find myself thinking that "I wasn't that bad". This has come up a couple times the last few days at social events where the booze is free and several people are drinking quite a bit, to say the least. It is true that I didn't drink way too much in public so I keep reminding myself that a couple drinks at a party was not the big problem - they will always lead to more. I have no interest in drinking and not participating has been easy but I can see where trouble can start.
It is a good thing for me to know I will be checking in here in the morning. Thanks to all of you for being here :hug:.

[roxane]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

well, craving left but came back saying he'd forgotten his car keys. have to let him look for them or the bugger will hang around for longer. i'm helping him search.

if he keeps hanging about i'm going to have to be rude and tell him to f off.